Page 137 of Dustwalker

The bed creaked as Ronin sat on the edge, placing his hand over Lara’s. He brushed the fingertips of his other hand over her cheek to tuck the loose strands of her hair behind her ear. “I thought I was going to lose you, Lara Brooks.”

Lara met his gaze. She’d never seen such anguish in it. Turning her hand over, she laced her fingers with his. Her memory of what had happened was unclear, but she’d heard gunshots, had watched the light fade from his eyes when the gearheads pulled his power cell, had seen the life drain from him.

“Ididlose you,” she said, voice hoarse as her throat tightened and more tears welled in her eyes.

His smile was tinged with sorrow, but genuine. “Now I understand helplessness and fear.”

The tears rolled down her cheeks. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” He wiped away the moisture with his thumbs. “Rest. I’ll be here when you wake again, and I’ll tell you everything.”

Though she longed to stay awake, to stare at him and touch him and hear his voice, the laudanum was taking effect. The aches that wracked her body dulled, and the edges of her consciousness grew fuzzy. The bedding dipped, and Ronin’s warmth enveloped her as he lay down beside her.

Sleep claimed Lara.

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

“What’s wrong?” Ronin asked.

Lara dropped her spoon into the bowl he was holding and looked up at him.

She’d spent the last four days in constant discomfort and pain. The drowsiness and disorientation caused by the laudanum had lingered a long while after she’d awoken, and she’d refused more when Nancy offered. She wanted to remain awake and alert. She wanted to feel it all, because no matter how unpleasant, it meant she was alive and healing.

“Why didn’t Warlord kill me?” she asked.

A crease formed between Ronin’s brows. “As far as he was concerned, he did.”

“He hunted us down like animals. Why not finish it? He…” Her throat constricted. “He killed Tabitha. Why not me, too?”

“What he did to Tabitha was meant as an example to everyone in Cheyenne. She suffered, but death was the point. With us, he wasonlyconcerned with inflicting suffering. There was no one around to witness it, and no one from Cheyenne would ever find us out there. He wanted us broken, wanted you to die slowly and in agony, all alone.”

Four quick gunshots rang out in her memory. While Warlord had beaten her, the twenty feet that had lain between her and Ronin’s deactivated body might as well have been a thousand miles. If it hadn’t been for Newton and the spare power cells in the shelter, she would’ve died in the Dust.

“What did Warlord do to her?” Lara asked quietly. “What example did he make?”

He was silent, eyes dropping.

“Ronin. I deserve to know.”

His silence persisted, and when he finally spoke, his words were heavy with sorrow and regret. “They beat her to death. Her body was covered in bruises, her facial bones were shattered, and blood matted her hair. But brutality wasn’t enough. They chose to desecrate the remains. They dismantled her synth companion, laid his face over her groin, and put his detached penis in her mouth.”

She grabbed his wrist, drawing his gaze back to hers. The sudden movement sent stabbing pain through her side. Despite the bindings around her chest, her ribs still hurt like a son of a bitch. But it was nothing compared to the pain in her heart. “Why didn’t you tell me, Ronin? Why did you bring me to the bot district in the first place?”

“I didn’t know, Lara. Didn’t know depraved he is, how irrational, how mercurial and cruel. Even when I found Tabitha, I didn’t truly understand his nature. And her death affected you deeply… That’s why I didn’t tell you the details. I didn’t want to heap more pain atop your grief. I didn’t think it would’ve helped, but I’m sorry I chose without consulting you.”

He’d been trying to spare her more pain, trying to prevent her from collapsing beneath the weight of loss. Even if she didn’t appreciate him keeping information from her, she couldn’t fault his motivation for having done so.

She’d been close enough to crumbling without knowing the gruesome way her sister had been murdered.

“Apology accepted. But Ronin…” She sighed and massaged her throbbing temples with her forefinger and thumb. Her heart was thumping in her chest, and whispers of the terror she’d felt during the ambush brushed along the edges of her mind. “Warlord could have killed you.”

“Takes more than a change of batteries to keep me down.”

Despite the nature of their conversation, Lara had to stifle a laugh; it would’ve hurt too much thanks to her fractured ribs. She shook her head and lowered her hand to her lap. “I can’t believe you choose nowto joke.”

“You’re alive and recovering. What better a time for smiles?”

“Even smiling hurts.” Lara’s faint smile fell as she turned her face from Ronin. “Bet I look like shit.”