Page 13 of Duncan (Irish Mob of Boston #1)

Freyja

I watched as Duncan walked out of the suite to attend to his business. I didn’t ask what kind of business. New York wasn’t his city, and given the way he was chasing the man yesterday, I didn’t imagine it was good.

There were decisions that needed to be made.

The first most pressing one was, would I be here when Duncan came back?

That was the one I was having trouble deciding. I looked longingly at the food. He took the time to order. The least I could do was eat.

After breakfast, I slipped into last night’s dress, sans panties, since those were ruined. I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I thought about him tearing them from my body.

Sliding my arms into my coat, I gathered up my purse, made a quick phone call, and left the hotel. I didn’t stop at the desk, as I hadn’t decided yet if I was coming back.

My head held high, my back straight, I walked out onto the street and climbed into the car that waited for me.

“Good morning, Miss Malpas.”

“Good morning, Jeffrey.”

That was the sum of our conversation. Jeffrey didn’t ask how my evening was. And knowing that he knew what I had done somehow felt a little shameful.

I was a grown woman. Able to make my own decisions and mistakes. Jeffrey would never judge; neither would my parents. Dimeter would, but it would be more about riling me up rather than actually judging me.

I just couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow I was cheating on the man the universe had chosen for me.

Breathing a heavy sigh, I looked out the window and watched the city pass by.

“Everything ok, Miss?”

A moment passed before I spoke. “Can I ask you a question, Jeffrey?”

“Of course, Miss.”

Jeffrey glanced in the mirror at me before returning his eyes to the road. Traffic was heavy this morning. It always was.

Giving thought to the best way to word my question, I asked, “If we lived in a time when marriages were arranged, and you were scheduled to meet your partner in a few weeks, would dating someone else, knowing it could never go anywhere, be considered cheating?”

I watched the mirror, waiting for him to look up. Only he didn’t. He was quiet for a moment before he answered.

“I think if we lived in a time when marriages were arranged, women would be expected to stay chaste while men could do as they pleased. I’m not sure asking a man is going to give you the answer you’re looking for.”

“Because a man would consider it cheating.”

“Yes, Miss. Sadly, he would. The world is unbalanced when it comes to men and women. Especially in matters of the heart.”

“What do you think, Jeffrey?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think, Miss. It matters what you think,” he countered as he pulled into the driveway. He stopped the car in front of the house and turned to look at me. “If I may speak freely?”

“Of course, Jeffrey. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want the truth.”

“I have worked for your family for a long time. Watched you and your siblings grow up.”

I smiled fondly at him. Jeffrey was in his seventies. Much like a grandfather to us, more than a driver.

“I have listened to you and your sisters speak about your dreams, and the futures you want for yourselves. And I have heard you talk about Mardi Gras and what it means.”

I turned away. Jeffrey was getting a little close to where my mind was at.

“Now, I know your family believes that fate has a path set and nothing can deter you from that. But if that’s true, then nothing you do over the next six weeks will change the course of your future.”

A laugh slipped from my lips.

“That is not at all helpful, Jeffrey.”

He smiled warmly. “No, I don’t suppose it is. The truth is, Freyja, only you can decide what you can live with. You are the one who must look in the mirror each morning. No one condemns our actions more than ourselves.”

My shoulders slumped. Jeffrey was right. It didn’t matter if an affair with Duncan was right or wrong. It only mattered if I could live with my decisions.

“Thank you, Jeffrey.”

“Anytime, Miss.” He climbed out of the car and opened my door. Rising on my toes, I kissed his cheek.

“I’ll miss you if my soulmate takes me away from New York.”

“Maybe I’ll follow you. Make sure he treats you like the queen you are.” He winked and closed my door.

Returning to his seat, he moved the car away from the front of the house, and I stood there for a moment, looking it over.

It smelled like snow was coming, which wasn’t unusual for January in New York. I shivered and opened the front door. Heading directly to my room, I took a shower and changed into something comfortable.

I curled up on my bed and thought about last night. Where did all these doubts suddenly come from? Is that what I needed to learn? That there would always be obstacles ready to thwart my progress. Stop me in my path?

I jumped off the bed and grabbed my cards. Sitting cross-legged on my bed, I shuffled the deck and dealt the cards. It was always the same. No matter how many times I shuffled and reshuffled, dealt and redealt, the cards never changed.

Tarot cards were supposed to bring clarity. All it brought me was more questions. More confusion. I needed to do something to clear my head. Maybe getting away for a few weeks would help.

I could go see Phoebe.

Maybe some sister time would help me understand. But with Phoebe came Dimeter, and I refused to let him see me confused. I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing I was having doubts.

I felt for Athena. It was so much easier to be confident in knowing what someone else should do with their life. And well, bossing others around was fun.

I smiled when I thought about my little brother and how much he fought his fate with Henley. She really was perfect for him.

Lucille told you she would be .

Lucille was right. She was always right.

Disappointment settled over me once I admitted to myself what I needed to do.

A light tap on my door came seconds before it opened, revealing my sister Athena. Her hopeful eyes held a speck of anxiousness. “Well?”

“Well, what?” I asked, my eyes on the cards in front of me.

“How did last night go? I mean, it must have gone pretty well since Jeffrey came home without you.” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down and I laughed at her ridiculousness.

Huffing out a breath, I rested my elbows on my knees and held my head in my hands.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Athena jumped on the bed with me and put her arm around my shoulder.

“Why does this have to be so hard? Why do I have to wait until a certain point to meet my one? Why couldn’t I meet him ten years ago? Why does it have to be complicated?”

“Freyja, it’s only complicated if you make it that way.”

Standing from the bed, I walked to the dresser and turned to glare at my sister. “Why can’t you just tell me who he is?”

“Because I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I can’t say it any clearer. I didn’t know who Henley was until we met her either. I only knew when and where Dimeter would encounter her. Did you not like Duncan?”

I let my head drop back, my eyes fixed on the ceiling. “No, I liked him. The problem is, I liked him a lot.”

“You still have free will,” Athena whispered.

“Do I? What if I say to hell with Mardi Gras, go back to Duncan’s hotel and then follow him to Boston?

How long would it last before fate stepped in and pulled us apart?

I feel like I’ve been waiting so long. I’ve built up this man in my head and now that it’s so close, what if he isn’t anything like what I imagined? ”

“You won’t know unless you try.”

I looked at my sister. I hated it when she talked like that. “But which path should I try? Can you tell me that?”

She shook her head and stood from my bed. Walking over to me, she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tight. “You know where your journey is supposed to lead you. You’re just scared. Looking for any door or window to escape through.”

She pulled back, her hands on my arms and smiled. “You’re the bossy big sister. Pretend it’s not about you and tell me what you would say?”

“I would say Lucille is never wrong.”

“There you have it.”

She swept out the door like all had been decided. And of course, she was right. I had already made my decision before she came in. I just didn’t want to admit it out loud.

My phone beeped, and I knew immediately who it was. Moving to the bed, I sat on the edge and picked it up. Holding it to my chest, I closed my eyes before looking at it.

“Please, Lucille, tell me I’m making the right decision.”

It’s a hell of a start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.

“Well, if that didn’t make things more confusing.” I laughed.

I pulled my phone away from my chest, settling my hands in my lap and looked at the text.

I’ll be back around 6. I want you waiting for me.

A glance at the clock told me I had a few hours before I needed to be back at the hotel. I considered not going back at all. But I wouldn’t ghost him. I would hate that.

I could text him back and tell him no. But if I had learned anything from Lucille, it was that with a little courage, anything was possible. So, with that in mind, I spent the afternoon shopping. I had a trip to get ready for.

An hour before Duncan was due back, I had Jeffrey drop me off at the hotel. I walked up to the desk, gave the attendant my name, and she handed me a key to his suite.

Once inside the elevator, I took a deep breath. I could do this. I could walk away from something I wanted, having faith that what I needed was better.

The elevator stopped, and the ding sounded before the doors opened. An older couple joined me. It preceded to stop on every floor, letting people on and off until it finally stopped at my destination.

When the doors opened, I looked down the long hallway. It seemed so much longer than it had last night. Maybe because last night I was excited about entering. Enthusiastic about the possibilities of being with Duncan.

In the sober light of day, things were very different.

My feet stood frozen to the floor as I considered what I was giving up. When the elevator dinged, it pulled me out of my head. Regardless of my decision, they both ended with me being in that room, face-to-face with Duncan Murphy.

Gosh, that sounded ominous.

I stuck my hand out, preventing the doors from fully closing, trapping me once again in my indecision. I took a step forward. Then another. And another, until I stood in front of his door.

Holding the electronic key over the handle, I heard the whir and click of the lock disengaging. Pushing it open, I stepped into the room and looked around. The maids had been through, cleaning up and putting everything back where it belonged.

There were no remnants of the breakfast I ate alone. Someone had neatly folded the cashmere blanket, replacing it on the back of the couch. The plush robe hung back in the closet.

And they had made the bed.

New, clean sheets replaced the disheveled ones we’d slept tangled up in. There was no scent of him lingering in the air. Just the smell of disinfectant used to wipe down the hard surfaces.

Just a few hours ago, while I was arguing with myself, a cleaning crew came in and erased any evidence of our night together.

I sat down to wait for him, knowing I was about to do the same thing.