Page 19 of Duke of the Sun (Regency Sky #1)

CHAPTER 18

F or the first time, Cordelia wore a smile all the way from Solshire into London. By the time they arrived in the city, her face ached from the wideness of her lips. She reached for her face, touching her cheeks to make sure the smile was really there. It hardly felt real. But there was Michael, sitting across from her, looking pleasantly content himself. There was an unusual ease in his shoulders, a relaxed aura from the way he rested his hands in his lap, how he watched the world go by from the window.

Cordelia watched and couldn’t help but feel as though it had to do with her presence.

As they drew closer to the recently opened gardens within London, Cordelia felt momentarily stunted. She didn’t know a thing about where they were headed or who would be at the event, other than her sister. They were very public things, and garnered the attention of most every member of polite society. If any rumors still circulated the Ton regarded Cordelia’s marriage to Michael, they would be effectively silenced in that single afternoon. Her brow furrowed at the idea of her Aunt and Uncle attending, after the tumultuous dinner party at Pembroke.

“Do you know who will be at the gardens?” Cordelia suddenly asked.

Michael pulled his gaze from the window as if he were stuck in a trance. When his eyes landed on her, the ease did not fade or slip away. “I told you about Irene, didn’t I?”

“You did.” She tilted her head curiously. “Anyone else?”

Michael smirked. “You look like a conniving creature in search of information.”

“Is it improper of me to be curious about the event we are attending? Or, better yet,” she leaned forward slightly, “An event I hardly know a thing about, thanks to my husbands’ sole planning?” The title of husband lingered in the back of Cordelia’s mind after she set it, the sound of it more right than it ever had been before.

“I suppose I can tell you,” he mocked as his smirk grew wider. “In all seriousness, I do not believe it is a crowd either one of us are familiar with. Your sister, Irene, will surely be in attendance. Along with a good friend of mine, Rhys Glowton, the Duke of Nightrow.”

Cordelia’s eyes widened. “The Duke of Nightrow?”

“Oh, have you heard of him?”

“Haven’t you?” She shook her head. “He is dreadfully reclusive. Even more so than you ever were.” Cordelia paused, one brow raising. “That is the connection, isn’t it? Friends through hermitage?”

“Very amusing,” Michael muttered as he looked away, though there was a smile perking up at his lip.

Cordelia watched him closely. “I hadn’t realized you…well, that you…you had…”

“If you mean to say you never thought I was capable of having friendships,” Michael finished for her, his face expressionless, “I understand.”

“I-I’m sorry, Michael.”

“Do not bother with such things,” he replied with a shrug. “Some days, I hardly believe it myself.”

“That you and the Duke are friends?”

He nodded slowly. “I am not a fool. I know the life I have lived is one of reclusivity. I can see everything that the Ton sees, Cordelia.”

She sat in silence for a moment, merely remembering the sound of her name against his lips. “Well, you couldn’t have been all that recluse, could you?”

“How so?”

“You managed to find the Duke,” she replied. “And he managed to find you all the same.” Cordelia smiled. “What do you two like to do together?”

Michael only stared. He opened his mouth to speak but simply let his jaw hang open, watching her with an intense closeness. The sudden quiet carried on until he leaned backwards, as if he needed to put more space between them. Michael cleared his throat. “Boxing,” he finally said. “We spar together at a club in London. It is private, of course, not like the gymnasiums you expect to see athletes at.”

“How good are you?”

Michael laughed. “That would be a foolish question to ask, wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t think so,” she replied with a shrug. “It is simple enough.”

“Well, I would not be inclined to call myself bad at the sport, now would I?”

Cordelia wasn’t entirely sure where the blush came from, but could hardly put a stop to it. Quickly, her face was engulfed in heat. Despite the red hue taking over her, she didn’t dare pull her gaze away from Michael. “I suppose you might be right after all,” she replied in a quiet voice. “Is the Duke good, then?”

“Rhys is a capable partner to box alongside,” Michael said.

Cordelia laughed. “That was hardly an answer at all!”

“My point made again.”

The silence that came next was painfully comfortable. Cordelia wanted to bask in it, to fall asleep in it, to wake up with it. The feeling was one she wasn’t used to. Of course Cordelia grew up incredibly close to her older siblings, but they were never as bound as that. Suddenly she found herself sitting across from Michael once more, hoping that he would decide to remain at Solshire for as long as he wanted. She felt like a child as she wished for it, but couldn’t possibly stop herself.

The carriage ride went on smoothly till it rolled to a stop within London’s bustling city. There were countless other carriages that couples and families emerged from, all eager to spend some time in a newly furnished and groomed garden. The weather was beyond perfect for such an excursion, where one’s fan was hardly ever deemed necessary. Michael left the carriage first before extending a helping hand, and pulling Cordelia out next. She stepped out into the spring afternoon, and took in a deep breath.

A tall arched walkway was in front of her, lined with cobblestone. The path led into the twisting and winding gardens, countless different blossoming flowers curving around the corners. Members of the Ton already walked through, all eagerly casting looks in their direction. Cordelia had one arm twisted around Michael’s, and instinctively tightened, not entirely aware she had even done it at first.

“Are you alright?” Michael asked as he steered them towards the gardens.

She nodded. “I am very well, Michael.”

As the arch passed overhead, Michael kept his gaze focused on her. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

The gardens were full of colors and butterflies. The pollinators swept through the blossoms effortlessly, even with the countless number of people surrounding them. Immediately, Cordelia wished she had brought a canvas, desperate to have the image before her permanently etched onto a blank page.

A familiar face came around a corner of bushes, a pale blue shawl wrapped around her shoulders. Irene’s rosy cheeks had a few strands of her hair resting across them, the rest of her hair pulled into a neat braid behind her head. She was as effortlessly beautiful as she always was. Irene stretched out her hands towards Cordelia, immediately grasping onto her.

“What a beautiful dress, sister!” Irene looked her up and down, reaching to run her hand down the wispy yellow skirts. “I was so pleased to hear you both would be attending today. Isn’t it a perfect day for a walk in the garden?” She was already pulling Cordelia away from her husband. “Won’t you take a stroll with me, Cordelia?”

“Well, I -”

Michael interjected and slipped his arm away. “Go along, my love, ” he said, making sure to raise his voice as he said the last two words. “Enjoy your time with your sister.”

Cordelia’s gaze was glued to him for far too long. Of course he said it with the intention of steering the Ton towards his intended direction, but she was torn in half by what to truly believe. Perhaps it was her clueless side, the one who was still so childish, that wanted to think he meant every word. Cordelia shook her head as she pulled away, allowing her sister to lead her in the opposite direction of where Michael stood.

“Good Lord, Irene,” Cordelia groaned as Irene practically dragged her forward. “Who rushes through a garden party? For heavens’ sake!” Cordelia yanked her arm backwards, forcing her elder sister to come to a sudden stop.

Irene twisted around, her face scrunched up slightly, in the way she would as a child when she grew annoyed. “Can’t you see how difficult it is to have a private discussion in the gardens?”

A few Lords and Ladys passed them by, paying them special attention as they kept along the path.

“If you wanted to speak privately,” Cordelia grumbled, “Why didn’t you just say so?”

Irene pressed her lips together. Her cheeks bellowed, like she held back everything she wished to say. She glanced around hurriedly, searching for a place where they could speak without the chance of anyone overhearing.

Cordelia could hardly stand the waiting. She was desperate to tell her sister of everything that changed at Solshire. Everything she might have once told her mother suddenly needed to be told to Irene instead. Cordelia reached for her, grasping at her sister’s hand.

“You wouldn’t believe what’s happened with Michael and I,” Cordelia blurted.

Irene eyed her. “What’s happened now?” She grew dreadfully serious. “Don’t tell me the beastly Duke has done something out of hand.”

“Of course not, Irene!” Cordelia bit back a laugh. “So quick to fight, aren’t you!”

“Well, it’s just the things the Ton whisper about him,” Irene admitted. “It is outlandishly difficult to hear it all and not worry about my sister. You understand that, don’t you, Cordelia?”

She sighed. “That is what I’m trying to tell you. Everything is changing ,” Cordelia explained. “I believe the Duke might remain at Solshire.”

Irene’s brow shot up. “Truly?”

“We have had moments of,” Cordelia paused, searching for the right words but only coming up with an annoying burst of blushing, “Honesty, which has led me to think he wants to be my husband.”

“Thinking and believing are starkly different than truly knowing, Cordelia.” Irene tilted her head at her. “I fear you are trying to create something that does not exist.”

“Why? Because a future like that does not belong to someone like me?”

Irene huffed. “In no way did I utter such words!”

“Maybe not,” Cordelia snapped, “But it does not mean they were not your true intent.”

“Do not be childish, Cordelia,” Irene said, reaching forward to take her hands. “I am your sister. All my life, I have sought out ways to protect you, and that does not change with age. Married or not, I look after you. What I say now, is out of love, out of fear for your well being.” She touched the side of Cordelia’s face, her thumb coursing over the curve of her cheek. “But you are a woman of your own, now,” she murmured, her gaze wistful. “And your decisions are your own.”

Cordelia gazed into her sister’s face and wondered if she looked like their mother. Even though her sister’s insistence on being cautious drove a wedge of annoyance through Cordelia, she couldn’t help but let her heart grow softened. To remember that there was always a Celeston to fall back on was more comforting than Cordelia thought it would be. She wished to revel in it for a moment longer, but there was a familiar figure in the distance that caught her eye.

Focusing on the group over Irene’s shoulders, Cordelia felt the breath catch in the back of her throat.

The Earl of Vaun, Colin Evans, stood beside a blooming patch of dahlias. The afternoon sun lit up his sandy colored hair, eyes as blue as the sky peering back at her. Cordelia imagined he was merely a ghost, at first, before she remembered that he was still very much living. There was a small group of people around him, all of them engrossed with the beautiful foliage. Colin turned to whisper something in a short woman’s ear before walking towards where Cordelia stood.

“Colin Evans cannot be here,” Cordelia whispered, “Right?”

Irene exhaled sharply. “Dear sister,” she breathed, squeezing her hands, “I desperately tried to tell you before when you -”

“When I spoke of Michael.”

“The man can mean no harm, Cordelia, but I may send him away if you -”

Cordelia pulled herself out of her sister’s grasp. There wasn’t any time for anything, as Colin was suddenly upon them. He held his hands behind his back as he bowed, keeping a respectable distance.

“It is a pleasure to see you both this afternoon,” Colin said as he rose.

With the distance gone between them, Cordelia saw the age in his face. A few years had passed since she last saw him, since they were betrothed, and he was almost a new man. Hair grew along his jawline, scruffy but kempt. He gazed upon her fondly, though there was a nervous sway in his step every few seconds.

“Might I speak to the Duchess in private?” Colin asked.

Irene straightened. “O-Of course.” She passed by, her hand gently passing over Cordelia’s before she disappeared around the corner.

“I hope you won’t start calling me your Grace ,” Cordelia teased, an awkward smile tugging at her mouth.

Colin chuckled. “I was ready to.”

“I insist against it.”

He bowed his head. “As you wish, Cordelia.”

She gulped, glancing around at the flowers. Behind him, her eyes caught on the group of people waiting for him. A few of them looked familiar, but she couldn’t quite tell at the distance. Her curiosity grew and grew.

“You are well, I hope,” she blurted, uneasy with the silence.

“More than well.” Colin turned to gesture towards the nearby people. “My wife and parents -”

Cordelia sighed louder than she meant to. “Excuse me,” she murmured sheepishly. “I-I knew I recognized them.”

“They told me of your marriage,” Colin said with a smile. “I was very pleased to hear it.”

“Pleased?”

Colin winced. “T-That was terribly rude of me. I am sorry, Cordelia. It wasn’t what I meant at all.”

She looked away, feeling uncommonly small in his presence, suddenly.

Cordelia pressed her lips together. Though she never found herself missing the idea of having Colin as her betrothed, the idea of being so easily tossed aside was hard to step over. It lingered with her still, even more so with Colin standing directly in front of her. Perhaps if she had Michael at her side, the ease would return to her. She almost twisted around in search of him, when Colin cleared his throat noisily.

“I was hoping to hear that you would attend the event today, Cordelia,” Colin said.

She raised a brow. “Really?”

“There is something I have wished to do for quite some time now, and feel rather like a fool for not striving to have it done sooner,” he explained. “How dreadful life in London must have been for you after I left.” He lowered his head, his eyes lost in a distant reverie. “I never realized what a selfish man I was till I reflected on it years later. To have left you in the midst of a scandal, all because I found a different future. It was -”

“Colin,” she interjected in a soft voice, “While I appreciate the sentiment, I do not blame your actions too much. Not even for such a pleading apology.”

“H-How could you be so at ease about it?”

“Much like you, I have had time to think it over,” Cordelia said. “Neither one of us sought the other out with the real intent to marry. You know as well as I that it was an agreement arranged by our parents, made at the expense of our families. There wasn’t a bit of either of our souls in that pairing.”

Colin frowned. “Perhaps not. But the scandal -”

“I was wed the week after you left London, Colin.” Cordelia ached to see Michael somewhere within the garden.

“To the beastly Duke,” he said. “I heard very well.”

“Don’t tell me you disapprove?”

He chuckled. “I doubt everyone was entirely happy,” he replied. “And the rumors that followed were quite precarious, weren’t they?”

“How can you even know of that?” Cordelia held back her bitter laugh. “Can news possibly travel that far outside of London?”

“I still come to the city for business, Cordelia,” he said. “That’s plenty of time to hear about a rumor or two.” He looked at her disapprovingly. “It sounds as though you’ve gotten up to mischief at Solshire.”

“Perhaps I have!”

Colin laughed. “As long as you are well, Cordelia. Are you well?”

“I’m -” Cordelia paused, unsure of what it was she would truly say. She supposed things were good enough. If things went on as they had been, perhaps the relationship between Cordelia and Michael would surely change. Talking would grow easier as the walls he held around him crumbled to the ground. Perhaps, one day, he might trust her enough to reveal the true Michael that lied within.

It was that mere thought, that distant hope, that gave Cordelia the ability to answer him the way she did. Even when Irene’s warning rang in the back of her mind, she pushed past it, desperate to be honest, to truly mean it. It was all that she wanted, after all.

“I am more than well, Colin.”