Page 45 of Duke of Emeralds (Dukes of Decadence #2)
Lady Alderton beamed. “Well, I do have an eye for these things. But the Duchess can tell you herself, I’m sure.” She dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Women’s matters.”
Thomas felt a dull panic rise in his chest, but he tamped it down and turned back to Hester. “Can ye stand?”
She nodded though she looked anything but steady. Thomas scooped her up into his arms with care, ignoring the stares of half the room as he guided her toward the nearest exit.
They were nearly to the doors when Anna intercepted them, a look of pure horror on her face. “What happened?”
“She needs to lie down,” Thomas said.
Anna took command at once. “Follow me.” She swept ahead, all the confidence of a general with a wounded soldier in tow. She led them to a quiet salon at the back of the house where pale morning light crept around the curtains, and a sofa waited.
Thomas settled Hester onto the cushions then hovered as Anna poured water from a carafe and pressed the glass into his hand. He helped Hester drink, careful to support her neck. When her eyes cleared a little, Anna rummaged through a cabinet and produced a small vial.
“Smelling salts,” she said, uncorking it and waving it gently under Hester’s nose.
Hester grimaced and pushed it away. “I am not an invalid, Anna.”
Anna’s mouth twisted. “No, but you are quite wretched, darling. Drink more, and then I’ll leave you with your husband.” She squeezed Hester’s hand and retreated, shutting the door softly behind her.
They were alone.
Thomas took a seat at the end of the sofa.
Hester’s breathing had steadied, but she kept her gaze fixed on her lap.
He wanted to hold her, to crush her to his chest and feel her heartbeat, but he could sense the wall she’d built between them.
He settled for taking her hand which she allowed but only just.
“Ye look like death warmed over,” he said quietly.
Hester drew her hand away and moved to the far end of the sofa. “You needn’t pretend concern, Thomas.”
He flinched at the old, familiar coldness in her voice. “I am not pretending.”
She let out a brittle laugh. “Then what do you call it? You disappear for a week, say nothing, do nothing, and now, you show up to haul me out of a ballroom like a sack of potatoes? Is this your notion of chivalry?”
Thomas stared at the rug, trying to remember every word he’d rehearsed in his mind and finding none of them adequate. “I’ve been wrong, Hester. I see that now.”
She braced her hands on her knees, as if to rise. “Then say so plainly, and spare me the performance.”
“I thought to spare ye,” Thomas said, his voice rough, “from me. I thought I was doing the right thing. I see now how much I’ve hurt ye. I—” He stopped, uncertain how to continue.
Hester looked up then, meeting his gaze with a furious glare. “You don’t get to decide what hurts me, Thomas. You don’t get to leave then waltz back in and play the hero when it suits you.”
He felt something in his chest break. “No. I suppose I daenae.”
She drew in a trembling breath, anger giving way to something softer, more wretched.
“I was prepared, you know. For you to leave. We agreed to it from the start.” She scrubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand.
“But I thought—I thought you might have the decency to allow us to reach the right time and not abruptly leave.”
He kneeled in front of her, took her hands in both of his. She did not pull away. “I am a coward, Hester. But I could not stand to watch myself fail ye every day. I thought if I let ye go, it would hurt less. When ye fell off that horse, I feared I could not protect ye.”
She shook her head, hard. “It hurt more than the fall. It hurt so much I thought I would die from it.”
Thomas pressed his lips to her knuckles. “I am so, so sorry. For every pain I’ve given ye.”
She studied him for a long, silent moment. “What happens now, Thomas? Will you leave again?”
He lifted his head. “If you ask it, I’ll go. I will give ye a divorce if that is your wish. Or an annulment, or whatever ye need. I want only to see ye happy, Hester.”
She gave a watery laugh. “And what if I do not want that? What if what I want is my husband?”
His heart started up again, unsteady and wild. “Then ye have him. For as long as ye’ll take me.”
Her lips trembled. “Do you mean it?”
He moved to sit beside her, wrapped her in his arms, and this time, she did not resist. “I do. God help me, I do. I never wanted to love anyone, but I love ye, Hester Green. I love ye as much as a man can and live.”
She burst into tears and buried her face in his shirt. “You are a fool, Thomas. A colossal, unrepentant, impossible fool.”
He grinned into her hair. “That I am. But I’ll spend the rest of me life making it up to ye.”
Pulling back slightly, he cupped her face and brought his lips to hers, kissing her very slowly and with all the sweet longing of a man who had waited two months for this moment.
Hester wrapped her arms around him and leaned into him while he deepened the kiss, never wanting it to stop.
At last, they parted for breath, and she looked up at him, her eyes swollen and shining. “You broke your promise, you know. You swore you’d never make me cry.”
He wiped her cheeks with his thumbs. “Then punish me, lass. Name yer price.”
She smiled, wobbly and radiant. “It’s a lifetime, Thomas. A whole, splendid, infuriating lifetime.”
“Ye drive a hard bargain,” he murmured then kissed her, again and again, until she was laughing through the tears.
Thomas drew her close. “Still, we’re taking ye to a physician. I want to be sure ye’re not truly ill.”
She rolled her eyes but nestled into his side. “You do realize this is going to be a subject for Anna’s gossip for at least a year.”
Thomas smiled, content for the first time in his life. “Let them talk. So long as they know ye are mine.”
She huffed but did not disagree.
He rose, helped her to her feet, and caught her hand in his. She squeezed it, warm and sure.
“Let’s go home,” he said.