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twenty-six

A nthony hadn’t stayed with Isabella the entire night.

When she’d woken up, his side of the bed had been warm but empty. She’d hoped he would have stayed and lain in bed with her properly, so that her nightmare would be over. Her belly didn’t attract attention, but it would soon do. Premature babies weren’t rare, but she couldn’t delay the consummation for long.

“Do not fret, Your Grace.” Lawson helped her dress. “The duke will do his deed. Every husband does it. Are you ready to go to the dining room?”

“No, I’m not. The mornings are always the worst, and I’m afraid to feel sick in front of everyone.”

Lawson nodded. “I’ll have your breakfast brought up here.”

A bitter taste filled her mouth when Lawson came back with a tray loaded with food. Her stomach categorically refused the kipper, bacon, and eggs. She had a bit of buttered toast and a cup of tea, which didn’t last. The nausea hit her with the usual strength. No matter how deeply she breathed, or how much peppermint and lemon tea she drank, the nausea always won.

After her stomach was empty, she lay exhausted in the bed. “Is this normal?”

“I’m afraid it is, madam.” Lawson handed her yet another herbal tea. “It’ll go away in a few weeks.”

“A few weeks? Great.”

“The Dowager and His Grace asked about you when I met them on my way here.”

“I’ll go and see Anthony in a moment when I feel human again.”

He’d been so sweet last night her guilt had increased tenfold. She’d believed he would have taken her immediately. She hadn’t been ready for his kindness. But his kindness posed a problem at the moment.

After she freshened up, she found Anthony at his desk in his study, frowning while reading a letter. The sunlight formed a red-golden halo around him that suited his strong build. He radiated strength and safety, and she couldn’t deny her need for both.

“Good morning,” she said.

He stood up, smiling widely and genuinely. “Good morning. I didn’t hear you.”

“Apologies for not having come to the dining room for breakfast. I was tired.” She cleared her throat. “You woke up early.”

“I hope I didn’t disturb you, but I had a few letters that needed urgent answers.” He walked around the desk, and his expression was so sweet she couldn’t remain still.

She rushed to him and hugged him, nearly jumping on him. He held her by the waist and made her twirl around. They both laughed for no reason.

She rested her cheek on his chest, finding the steady beat of his heart comforting. He kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you for your kindness,” she whispered, feeling safe in his arms.

He gave her another kiss that melted her heart, also because he didn’t let her go until she was ready to release him.

“I’ve just received a wire from Patrick,” he said.

She stiffened. Had Patrick told the truth?

“He sends us his felicitations.”

She hoped the relief didn’t show on her face. “You seem worried.”

He folded the piece of paper. “I’m always worried about Patrick. He gets easily in trouble and sometimes has little consideration for his actions although he has changed as of late.”

No, Patrick got other people easily in trouble.

“Do you need anything?” he asked with a boyish smile she adored.

“I was just wondering…” Why didn’t you take me last night? Could we do the deed now? “When we could spend some time together.”

Her words must have particularly pleased him because his chest heaved with his deep breath.

“Of course. I want to show you something first.” As his facial muscles contracted, the scarred part didn’t move. “I look grotesque when I smile, do I? I’ve never been handsome. Patrick is the better-looking one. But now?—”

“No.” There was no hesitation in her voice. She touched his cheek with her fingertips, not sure if he would like it. “I’ve always found you handsome, and that hasn’t changed.”

He closed his eyes when she stroked his cheek. When he opened them again, she got lost in the gratitude in his large green eyes. Such a small gesture from her had caused such a big reaction from him. She lied about many things but not about her feelings for him.

He gently took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers in a move more intimate than she’d anticipated. A flutter started in her belly, and it had nothing to do with her child.

She tensed a little when he led her downstairs towards the conservatory. “What are we doing here?” She couldn’t stop her voice from quivering.

“I have a surprise for you. Are you all right?”

“I’m still nervous.”

A crease appeared between his eyebrows. “You don’t need to be. I care only about your happiness.”

She believed every word.

He opened the double doors and led her through the neat aisles towards the moonflowers. “I ordered some flowers that bloom at night?—”

“The moonflowers.” She realised too late her mistake. She should have waited for him to show her the flowers before talking.

“Yes. How do you know?”

“Not many flowers bloom at night.” Which wasn’t true. There were several species opening their petals in the moonlight. She was terrible at this game of lies. “Moonflowers are all the rage at the moment.”

“I thought they were exclusive” He stopped in front of the beautiful flowers. Even closed, they were stunning. “For you. Although I should have waited for nightfall. I was eager to show them to you.”

She touched the soft petals all wrapped tightly together. “They’re beautiful.”

Standing behind her, he caressed her cheek, and another shiver danced on her skin. Guilt had nothing to do with the sensation, though; it was his gentle touch.

“Did you order them for me?” she asked.

“A while ago. I wanted to impress you.”

A lump of emotion swelled in her throat, along with annoyance at Patrick. He hadn’t mentioned the idea had been Anthony’s. “I spoiled your surprise.”

He caressed her cheek again.

There was too much tenderness in his fingertips and the gesture for her heart to ignore it. She craved it. She craved his understanding, above all. Before he removed his hand, she took it and turned around to face him.

No space divided them. Her breasts pressed against his chest, and her body was flush with his. And now she didn’t know what to do. She’d acted on impulse, and his emerald eyes were too intense; they didn’t let her think. As she brushed a long curl of hair from his face, she touched his scarred skin with her whole hand this time.

He recoiled, stepping back from her.

“I’m sorry,” they said together.

“Does it bother you? The touch?” she asked.

He put a hand on the scar. “The scar doesn’t hurt anymore. It’s not possible. I touch my cheek many times and feel no pain. But sometimes, when someone else touches it, it hurts. I feel the burn of the bullet again. I don’t understand it.”

“I guess a pain like that never leaves you.”

“I hate it. The tension, the pain, the lack of control over my emotions.”

“What happened?”

He leant against the door. “It was a duel.”

“I thought duels were illegal.”

“More or less. They’re tolerated when the honour of a well-respected British officer has been soiled.” He paused.

She couldn’t believe he’d insulted an officer so harshly to start a duel. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

He bowed his head. “The night of the ball, Patrick had an assignation with Lord McFall’s wife in the library.”

She was surprised she didn’t feel anything. Not a sting of disappointment, jealousy, or anything else, really. Perhaps she’d turned into a cold monster. But she’d always known Patrick had a string of lovers. Besides, who cared? She had enough thoughts to keep herself busy.

“McFall caught him in flagrante and demanded satisfaction. The morning of the duel, Patrick was horribly nervous. He’s never been a good shooter. He hates guns. When I saw him fumbling with the gun while McFall was ready to shoot, I pushed Patrick out of the way, and this is the result.”

“Patrick,” she whispered, shaking her head.

“That’s why I worry about him. He doesn’t think before acting. I can’t protect him forever. He must learn to take his responsibilities.”

She agreed. “Thank you for telling me what happened.”

“Such a small thing.” He smiled, and she smiled back. “Whenever you want to come here, this conservatory is all for you.”

For now, she had trouble focusing on the plants.

“The moonflowers didn’t overjoy you as much as I hoped,” he said. “What can I do to make you happy?”

“You make me happy. A lot.”

“I insist. If you could receive any gift, what would it be? I’m curious. What would you like to have?”

She had an idea. “If I could ask for anything…”

“Yes?”

“There’s a woman I know, Lady Mary. Have you heard about her?”

“No, I don’t think I have.”

She cleared her throat. “She fell from grace after being with child, and her family sent her away. Now she lives hand-to-mouth in a horrible flat, working as a seamstress. I helped her in the past, and I would like to help her now in a proper way. If it’s not much to ask, I want to donate part of the money for my personal expenses to her. I won’t ask you for more money, I promise. I just want to help Lady Mary, and I won’t buy anything extravagant for myself, anyway.”

“Isabella—”

“She can have all the sum for my expenses. Or we can find her a job. Something paid better.”

“I—”

“Her situation is so unfair that?—”

He silenced her, pressing a finger to her lips. The gesture became suddenly erotic, and his eyes ignited with unmistakable hunger. She couldn’t deny a certain stirring in her chest as well.

He removed his finger. “You didn’t seem to need to breathe. So, Lady Mary. No, you can’t give her part of your money.”

Her heart dipped to her stomach. “Oh.”

“I’ll set up an allowance for her without you having to cut your expenses.”

Her heart soared back up, making her dizzy. “Would you do that for her?”

“No. I would do that for you.”

She cried out in happiness and hugged him. “Thank you. Thank you.” She scattered kisses on his face. “Thank you.”

He laughed, holding her. “That’s the reaction I hoped for.”