Page 5

Stassie

When Mary leaves for work, I shower and get dressed. Ryker is in the kitchen when I come out, and he nods at me.

“Want a salad? I’ll cook extra chicken.”

I scrunch my nose, patting my belly. “I’m too nervous to eat.”

He sets the bowl down, facing me and crossing his arms over his chest. “Why are you nervous?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because I’m about to confirm for real if I’m carrying your baby.”

His eyebrows raise. “And confirming it at the doctor’s is different than last night?”

I shrug. “Feels like it, no?”

A smile pulls at his lips. “I was thinking about how I hope it’s a boy so then Archibald and I have one up on you girls.”

Rolling my eyes, I grab a banana from the counter and hope it settles my queasy stomach. “I had nightmares of my belly growing so large that my shirts can’t fit over it.”

His eyes drop to my belly and he swallows harshly before turning away from me, but I catch him adjusting himself in his jeans. A flutter of excitement shoots through me. We awkwardly untangled ourselves from each other on the couch last night, and when he went to shower, I locked myself in my room.

“You know if you’re pregnant, I’ll take care of you, right?” he says.

I shrug and Ryker grabs my hand, waiting until I look up at him.

“Whatever you need, Stassie. I’ll get it for you and the baby.”

I give him a half-smile. “Thanks. I don’t want to burden you too much. I’m going to try to pick up some more hours at the coffee shop in the meantime.”

Ryker’s fingers curl tighter, squeezing my hand. “I—I’d prefer it if you quit, actually. If you’re pregnant, I mean. That’s just a lot of hours on your feet.”

My eyes widen and I stare at him incredulously. “And take care of the baby with what money?”

He blows out a breath. “Maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves until we know for sure, but you know I invested in my brother’s company, right? And it’s doing really well?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Are you saying you’re rich?”

“I’m saying I don’t have to worry about money, and neither would you,” he says with a chuckle.

Shaking my head, I swallow down the unease that’s growing inside me. “You say that now, but what if Mary makes you choose between her or the baby?”

Ryker’s expression falls. “She wouldn’t do that.”

“You don’t know that. I wouldn’t want anything to do with the baby my boyfriend had with someone else,” I say honestly. I’ve always had a problem with sharing, and I’m prone to jealousy. My ex spent nearly every day with me, but any day he didn’t, my mind always jumped to illogical conclusions of him cheating on me. As far as I know he never did, but I couldn’t banish the thoughts.

“You’re not your sister…” Ryker says, trailing off as if to find words that won’t offend me. “I just know that Mary wouldn’t do that. And if by some chance she does, I’ll always choose my kid, okay? If you trust anything, trust that I’m not your parents and I will always put that child above my own needs.”

My eyes sting with the need to cry and I glance away from him, pushing away the ache in my chest.

He clears his throat. “I’m gonna wrap this up for later. You ready to go?”

I nod, squatting down to scratch under Archibald’s chin. “Where have you been all day? You miss me?”

He meows and turns sharply, swinging his tail straight into my face. I scowl as he walks over to Ryker, rubbing against his legs for a few seconds before trotting off toward the bedroom. I think I just got snubbed by a cat again.

“He’s definitely more active at night, unless you’re up early enough to feed him breakfast. Then you’re his best friend.”

“I try not to be up before noon unless I have to be,” I say gingerly.

Ryker smirks and grabs his wallet and keys from the bowl on top of the shoe stand. “Let’s go. We don’t want to be late.”

I walk behind silently and try to hold my surprise when he opens the passenger door for me before I climb in. When he gets in the car and starts it up, he nods at the large touchscreen on the center console.

“Play whatever you want.”

My eyebrows raise. “Whatever I want?”

“Whatever.”

A smile plays on my lips. “Even if it’s alternative rock bands who cover pop songs?”

Ryker stills for a second, and looks both ways on the road as we exit the parking lot before he glances at me. “If that’s what you like.”

“You brave, brave soul,” I say with a laugh. “I’m actually cool with whatever you want. I was just messing with you.”

“I really don’t mind, Stassie. I’m very flexible.”

That’s what she said is on the tip of my tongue but I swallow it down, not wanting to come off childish. Considering my age still ends in -teen and he’s in his twenties, there’s no need to remind him of our age difference.

Instead, I pick a random song and let it fill the silence of the car. I watch out the window as we head to whatever doctor Ryker picked out.

“I spoke to my brother last night about possibly getting you a job off your feet. Then we can also get you under our company's insurance,” Ryker says.

My heart twists, partly in shame and partly in hope. No insurance, just another thing in life that I’m failing at. But he shrugs it off like it’s not an incredibly generous offer. I only work part time at the coffee shop, not that they offer benefits even if I picked up more hours.

“You already found me a job? Without even knowing if I want to quit the coffee house first?”

He nods, his knuckles tightening over the steering wheel. “It’s like a virtual assistant thing. I’d still want you to stay home.”

I snort. “Shielding your mistake from the world.”

His head snaps to me before returning to the road. “No, Stassie. It’s not like that. Mary said that you have anxiety leaving the house sometimes. That you struggled with school and even now with the coffee shop and its customers.”

My nose tingles and I can’t stop the tears that blur my visions. I wipe them away and nod. “Yeah, yeah I do. Uhm, thanks. That would mean a lot to me.”

I don’t know how this keeps happening, how Ryker keeps being the exact opposite of what I expect. God damn it, and god damn my sister for being the saint that she is.

Ryker clears his throat. “Of course. Whatever I can do to help, Stassie.”

We don’t talk the rest of the way and when he pulls into the parking spot, I make sure to climb out before he can walk around and open the door for me again. It reminds me too much of how a boyfriend should be, but he beats me to the door of the office and waves me in with a raised eyebrow, challenging me to object.

I greet the receptionist and check in for my appointment before moving back to sit next to Ryker. His hand comes down to squeeze my knee and I breathe a little easier. My gaze meets a woman sitting across from us, and she grins, leaning forward.

“You two are such a cute couple,” she says.

Ryker’s fingers grip me harder, and he grins back at her. “Thanks, but I bet our kid will be even cuter.”

My mouth drops open as the woman settles back into her chair, her lips pressed thin as she looks between us again. And I can practically hear her thoughts about how young we look, too young to be parents.

“Congratulations. I bet you’re excited,” she finally says.

Ryker gives her a meek thanks before we’re called up for my appointment. The nurse guides us into an exam room, then hands me a specimen cup. “Make sure to initial and set it in the small box in the wall, okay? Don’t leave it in the bathroom.”

I nod and follow her instructions in the bathroom right next door, before returning to find a horrified Ryker staring at the posters on the wall. A laugh escapes my throat when I see he’s looking at the dilation chart.

“Wild, right? That it stretches like that and you push out a whole ass baby.”

He shakes his head, watching me as I climb up on the chair-bed thingy. I actually wonder what they’re called, that’s a question to google later.

“What?” I ask after a few moments of him just looking at me.

Ryker’s eyebrows raise. “I can’t look at you?”

My fingers twist in my lap. “It’s just weird. Why are you looking at me? What are you thinking about?”

He sits back in the chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “I was looking at you, wondering what features our kid will get from you. Then I started thinking about… other things.”

“Other things?”

His lips quirk. “Things not appropriate for this office. Things I shouldn’t be thinking about.”

My breath catches slightly. “Like the kiss?”

He nods, his jaw tightening. “Yeah, Stassie. Like the kiss, like the reason we’re here.”

A knock interrupts us from continuing the conversation and the OBGYN introduces herself before asking us what we’re in for. When I explain it all, she goes through her list of questions about my and my family’s medical history before asking Ryker for his.

“So your urine sample did confirm your pregnancy. Do you have an estimated conception date? It may be too soon for an ultrasound.” The OBGYN smiles at us.

Ryker squeezes my hand and I look up at him. Will he think I’m a freak if I say it’s been exactly 5 weeks and 4 days since he fucked me?

“Almost 6 weeks. There was…uh a slip-up,” he says, his cheeks turning pink.

She laughs gently. “No worries. We can reschedule for a couple weeks out and we’ll do an ultrasound to get a more accurate estimate of the gestation age.”

Ryker clears his throat. “What, uhm. What are our other options?”

Her mouth opens in a slight O, and then she nods. “Of course. You’re early enough that you have a few options…”

I listen as she explains what we can do if I decide I don’t want to become a mother so young, but I think in my heart I already know my decision. I can feel Ryker’s eyes on me, so when I look up, he gives me a soft smile as if telling me he understands and it’s my choice.

The OBGYN pats my knee. “You have time to think about it, okay? It’s a difficult decision, but I’m here for any questions. We can always schedule a virtual visit if you feel more comfortable that way.”

“Thank you,” I mutter, squeezing Ryker’s hand harder.