Page 24 of Drive Me Crazy

TWENTY-FOUR

Blake

SUMMER brEAK IS over and I’m back. Definitely not back and better than ever, at least not yet. That’ll happen once I convince Ella I fucked up and want to be with her. I know her flight to Hungary got in on Tuesday morning, but I don’t think ambushing her while she’s dealing with jet lag is in my best interest. So I wait a full twenty-four hours before making it my mission to find her. Even if we don’t have “the talk,” I want to at least see her. I’ve missed her.

She doesn’t make it easy. Ella’s smart. She knows the less she’s in the paddock or pit, the less likely she is to run into me. No one’s seen her. Not Theo, not Andreas, not the twelve mechanics I ask. I even stake out the dining area during lunch because she’s a sucker for Albie’s food, but she doesn’t make an appearance, and Albie says she hasn’t come for breakfast either. If she hasn’t been to the dining area in three days, then where the hell is she? I try asking Josie, but I’m on her shit list right now, so that proves to be useless.

I finally find her on the motorhome’s rooftop between practice sessions on Friday. It’s chilly out, so I hadn’t thought to look here before. She’s tucked away in the corner, secluded behind the greenery brought in for each race. If I had to take a wild guess, she purposely chose to place herself in a very hidden spot.

Seeing her sucks all the air out of my lungs. My heart speeds up, each beat thumping like a bass in my ears. All I can do is stare and commit each curve to memory. Fuck, I missed her. Her skin is tan, cheeks freckled from time in the sun. In usual Ella style, she’s bopping her head to whatever she’s listening to on her earbuds as she types away on her computer.

I’m not sure if she doesn’t see me or doesn’t bother looking when I approach the table she’s at.

“Hey,” I greet her.

Lifting her head, our eyes meet over her computer screen. It cuts straight to my core. I even missed her eyes, for fuck’s sake.

“Hi. Sorry.” She pulls out an earbud. “What’d you say?”

“Just hey.” I shoot her a charming smile. “What are you up to?”

Nice, Blake. Really fucking smooth. You haven’t seen her in a month and that’s what you lead with? Not how was your break, how are you? This is what happens when I haven’t talked to a fucking female in over a month.

“Responding to an email. Some Saudi prince offered to marry me if I wire him ninety thousand dollars, so I’m sending over my banking information.”

My chuckle comes easily. Her ability to deadpan so flawlessly is astonishing.

“Weird, I just got an email saying I won a free cruise if I send them my National Insurance Number.”

The barest hint of a grin flashes, causing her dimple to wink. “Wild world we live in. How was your break?”

“It was okay. How was yours?”

“Good. Hung out with my family and saw some friends.”

I know damn well who some of those “friends” are. I’ve never met Jack Feinstein and he better hope I never do. When I stalked his Instagram, I didn’t like what I saw. A photo of him and Ella sitting way too fucking close in a booth at some bar. Her cheek pressed against his while his arm sat comfortably around her shoulders. And the caption? The babe came back for a quick visit. Jealousy spread through me like a fever. I’ve never been a jealous guy. Never had any reason to be. Now it might as well be my defining personality trait. Theo told me Jack’s gay and has a boyfriend, but I really don’t give a shit.

“Want to hang out this afternoon?” I sound like an awkward kid asking a girl to a school dance. “Should have some time between meetings.”

“Uh, depends on how much work I get done.” She points a finger at her computer. “I owe George some edits.”

She may as well be saying “leave me alone already.” Ella’s not being bitchy. She’s being indifferent. She’s tolerating my presence but would prefer me to be anywhere but here.

“Gotcha!” My voice is sugar, spice, and everything nice. “Well, let me know!”

Her earbud slips back into place as she gives me a glint of a smile.

The rest of the weekend goes no better. It’s fucking torture having to watch Ella talk and laugh with everyone else while she tries to subtly avoid me. I debate throwing the Grand Prix just so I can see something other than blank disinterest when she looks my way. I obviously don’t because that’d be fucking dumb, but the fact that I even considered it speaks volumes. How am I supposed to win her back when she won’t even look at me? It’s really hard to move forward with my plan when I can’t get past stage one, which is getting her to bloody talk to me.

I make sure I’m doing things with my friends every night in case Ella decides she wants to see everyone, but she doesn’t. It’s not until after the race on Sunday that she makes an appearance. When she waltzes into the bar we’re at, I have trouble breathing. Bloody fucking hell. Her breasts press against the material of her shirt, tugging the fabric taut. Well, there’s no way it can be considered a shirt. I’ve seen lingerie with more coverage. It hugs her waist, accentuating every curve. I’ve never seen Ella wear anything so revealing, and I want to take off my own shirt and throw it over her. No male with a pulse is going to have whiskey dick with Ella around.

Theo thrusts a drink into my hands. I’m well aware I’m ruining the mood, so I take it to appease him. I quickly realize it’s straight vodka. Christ. I know getting drunk isn’t the best idea, but I can’t handle having her so close yet so far away. Bottoms up. Theo sighs dramatically, drumming his fingers against the table.

“I’ve never seen you like this over a girl, mate. It’s kinda refreshing, but kinda alarming.”

I grunt in response. I’ve never been like this over a girl because none of those girls were Ella.

“I’m not going to lie to you, though, you’re an idiot,” he continues. “You clearly like her heaps, so just tell her already. You’re being extra dark and moody, mate.”

“There’s the supportive and caring friend I know and love.”

I can feel his blue eyes studying me, trying to figure out where my head’s at. Right now, it’s shoved so far up my ass, there’s no way he’s going to get to it.

“Is your plan to just stare at her across the bar all night like a lovesick puppy?”

Maybe. Ella is having the time of her life. She’s dancing with Josie, laughing as she expertly moves her hips to the beat of the music. I don’t know if she’s purposefully trying to make me jealous or not, but it’s working either way. She looks gorgeous. Every guy at the bar seems to notice too, and she hasn’t gone out of her way to turn them away when they talk to her or buy her a drink. My heart rate is dangerously high. I’m supposed to be on my best behavior this season, but if someone lays a hand on her, I have no problem throwing a punch or twelve. I ignore Theo and continue my sulking.

When Josie disappears to go to the bathroom, leaving Ella alone, I make my move. Maybe the liquor’s loosened her disdain for me, if only a fraction of a centimeter.

“Hey.”

“Oh.” She looks like a deer in headlights, not sure how to act with me so close. “Hi.”

Without realizing what I’m doing, I’m resting my hand on her forearm, absentmindedly moving my thumb back and forth. I hear her breath catch in her throat. She feels it, too. I know she does. The heat between us is enough to burn the place down.

“I fucked up, love,” I murmur, leaning in close. “I know I did. Please talk to me. Tell me that you’re pissed, that you hate me, that you’re upset. Anything.” My voice cracks. “Anything is better than you pretending like you don’t care.”

“Maybe I don’t care.” The alcohol seems to have removed the protective mask she’s been wearing all weekend because her tone doesn’t match her words. It’s like she’s saying what she thinks she should be but can’t get herself to believe it.

“I know that’s not true.”

She doesn’t disagree, instead choosing to stay quiet. Her perfume makes my head spin. How does everything about her turn me on?

“I want you, Ella.”

Her laugh is tightly wound. “Wanting me and wanting to be with me are two very different things.”

Fuck . That’s not what I meant, so I try to backtrack. Maybe I shouldn’t have had that drink. “I mean I want to be with you. I want to try.”

“I’m not an ice cream shop where you can just try a sample to see if you like it, Blake. Go to Baskin-Robbins if you want to try something. They have thirty-one flavors, so I’m sure you’ll try something you really like.”

An extremely irritated Josie interrupts us. Her blond eyebrows are furrowed and she’s tapping her high-heel-encased foot against the sticky floor.

“Can you move?”

She snaps her manicured fingers at me and points to the other end of the bar. When I don’t immediately leave, she throws her arm around Ella like a guard dog. I have to bite the inside of my cheek. She looks like an angry Barbie doll with her blond hair tied in a high pony and her bubblegum pink nails.

“Josie!” Theo shouts at her. “Come look at this!”

She shoos him away with her hand, knowing he’s just trying to give me one-on-one time with Ella. Her eyes don’t leave mine. I ignore her and look at Ella, trying to see what’s going on inside that beautiful head of hers. She wraps her arms around Josie’s waist and looks at her shoes like she’s never seen a pair before. That right there proves she still cares because she knows if she keeps looking at me, she’ll give all her thoughts away without saying a single word.

I give them both a warm smile before walking away. She might’ve just told me to go to an ice cream shop, but she loves ice cream more than anyone I know.

Our time at the bar seems to stretch on forever. I just want the night to be over. I’m exhausted. I can’t go out like I used to and to be honest, I don’t want to. What I want to do is curl up next to Ella and hear about her trip back home while she runs her fingers through my hair.

Theo’s given up on trying to put me in a better mood, which is saying a lot, but Lucas is still at it. As the dad of our trio, he’s the most responsible and gives the best advice. I’m not listening to a word he’s saying, though. I’m laser focused on the guy Ella’s talking to at the bar. It looks like a relatively friendly conversation, but I don’t give a shit. Until he walks away, my eyes are staying right where they are.

“Relax.” Lucas chuckles. “She’s just having a good time, man.”

“Oh, trust me. She’s been having a very good time this past month, babes,” Josie pipes in.

She’s been on Luc’s other side faithfully ignoring me. I’ve tried speaking with her, but she’s Team Ella or bust. I can appreciate loyalty, but she’s making things bloody difficult for me.

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?” I snap.

Josie looks at me with a hostile gleam in her eyes. Why did she put emphasis on very ? Not that it’d change me wanting to be with her, but I’m sick to my stomach just thinking about another guy kissing Ella. She said she doesn’t do casual sex, but what the fuck do I know?

She gives me a look of infuriating smugness. I’m doing everything I can to control my breathing. It’s not working. I down my drink in three large sips before slamming it on the table. There’s no point in hiding my anger.

“Let’s calm down, everyone.” Luc throws his arm around Josie’s shoulder. “Can we just have a good time tonight? No need to bring out the claws.”

Josie tips her face up to him. “Just because your friend doesn’t know a good thing when it’s right in front of him, doesn’t mean other blokes are just as stupid.”

Her face isn’t full of anger, it’s full of pity. I’m not sure which one I’d prefer more. Maybe anger?

“I know I had a good thing, Josie.” I sink further into the seat. “I know I fucked up. If anyone would listen to me for a second, they’d know that.”

She looks surprised by my admission. Sighing, she slinks out from under Luc’s arm and moves over to the empty seat next to me. “Then you really are a bloody twit.”

“I know. What do you think I’ve been trying to tell Ella the past week?”

“Probably something to try to get in her pants.”

I deserve the barb even though it stings. My reputation precedes me once again.

“I like her, Josie,” I say earnestly. “I’m trying to prove it and make things right, but I can’t get her to talk to me.”

“You rejected her and now you won’t leave her alone. That’s confusing, Blake.”

My plan depends on Ella’s willingness to listen to me. Given how she’s avoided me this past weekend, I know I need to bring in reinforcements. I spend the next fifteen minutes outlining my plan to Josie. The way her eyes light up makes me feel like I’ve done something right for the first time in a while.

“I can help,” she agrees. “But what she decides is up to her.”

It’s a step in the right direction. Theo rejoins the table and hands me a new drink. I happily accept it. Leaning back in my chair, I have a front-row seat watching Ella’s electric smile from across the room.