Page 105 of Drive

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said. “I wish I could have taken you, but you’d be trapped in a hotel.”

“Next time. I have to work all day tomorrow. It’s a miracle I got the night off.”

“I have to get back to the party.”

“Go get ’em.”

“I wish I was inside you.”

“I’ll be sleeping on the right.”

There was that lingering silence, the one where we both wanted to say more words but waited. I loved that silence. It said so much more than words ever could.

“Hurry home.”

“Bye, beautiful.”

More silence. Neither of us wanted off the phone.

“One day we’ll travel together. Oh shit!”

“What?”

“I forgot to put a suitcase outside my door!”

“What?”

“It’s not midnighteverywhereyet, right?” I said breathlessly, throwing the mountain of blankets off of my lap. Texas was a sea of ice and had been for weeks.

“Stella, I’m so confused,” he said with a chuckle.

“Just a superstition.”

“Ah,” he said with perfect understanding, because he knew me, sometimes better than I did myself. He was one of those men who studied my reactions, worked hard for my smiles, and fucked me like it was his job. I’d never had one of those men before. I fell in love with the promise in his eyes, his voice, and the comfort of being myself without being judged. His love was unconditional, though he had yet to utter the words. It was a given. Being with Nate was the most natural relationship I’d ever been in. He’d stolen my breath and was doing his best to steal the rest, and it was working.

“What does this one mean?”

“Leave a suitcase outside your door on New Year’s Eve? It means I’ll be a world traveler one day.”

“Better get it outside,” he said with an amused voice.

“’Night,” I said as I hustled down the hall to my bedroom.

“Night, weirdo,” he said affectionately, the rumble of his laugh cutting off as I hung up. I was a weirdo, and I loved that he knew that about me and embraced it. I was even more of a weirdo that night, bundled up like an old maid with the red muumuu nightgown my mother had gotten me for Christmas and the green and red stripped socks with a jingle bell attached to Santa’s hat. Paige and I managed a few civil sentences to make it through the holiday, though the grudge was still there on both parts. I spent my first Thanksgiving with Lexi and Ben. I burnt the turkey, Lexi glued the mashed potatoes with the beaters, and Ben choked it down without a negative word. Because he loved Lexi the same way Nate loved me.

Nate spent the holidays with his parents and all but begged me to join him, but I told him it was Lexi and my first year as independents, though we’d done a shit job of it.

The band wasn’t leaving for California until the first of the year, due to scheduling issues. At least that’s what Ben had told Lexi, so she’d practically moved in with him. When Lexi wasn’t at Ben’s, it meant they were arguing, and I stepped up to do whatever I needed to keep her calm. She was fighting to keep her insecurities on the back burner, and though I’d caught a protest or two from Nate, when she needed me, I was there. Ben was exhausted and it showed when he stood on my doorstep in the late hours of the morning, his eyes connecting with hers in a plea until she flew into his arms with a ready apology on her lips.

They were terrified, but Ben remained determined to prove to her that they weren’t changing, no matter what happened with the band.

Time would tell.

Neither of us believed him, but I kept my opinion out of it. Lexi had enough riding against her. Sony wasn’t just any label. Things were about to change drastically for everyone.

Between juggling the shows, writing for the paper, my boyfriend, and my best friend, I felt like I was living two lives. We never spoke a word about Reid, and I never asked. It was as if he didn’t exist. And I had to admit, it was a relief because I’d allowed myself to be happy in my new relationship. And I was happy. As happy as a girl could be alone on New Year’s Eve with the promise of a fresh year filled with Nate Butler. He was everything: kind, considerate, attentive, beautiful, and thrived in the boyfriend department. He’d spent the last two months exhausting himself at the paper and then showering me with whatever affection he could muster, and it was always more than enough.

I rolled my suitcase down the hall, opened the door, and was met with a gust of freezing air. I set it outside and was just about to close the door when I smelled smoke.