Page 23

Chain Reaction

Anything yet?

I stared at the text from Elizabeth, my stomach not quite right. I’d poured myself a glass of wine to settle my nerves, but now I didn’t have the ability to drink it.

Nothing. It’s been two hours.

Cell service had been spotty ever since the storm had rolled in, which could easily be why I hadn’t heard from Kyle. The fact that Elizabeth’s text had just made it through was encouraging. I took another lap around my kitchen, perched on top of one of the counters, and then jumped down again. I was restless. The downtime was doing nothing to help my brain. I needed to find a way to distract myself and relax, especially when the perfectly logical explanation for Kyle’s silence was that she’d been held up at work.

On a mission, I headed to the couch, folded my feet beneath me, and grabbed my laptop from the end table. I could at least use this time to catch up on email and knock one thing off my to-do list. By the time I finished, maybe Kyle would be home or at least answering her phone. But I didn’t get as far as my email because the page for the local news was up on my screen and auto-refreshed to a shot of several mangled cars on a highway. The headline glared back at me.

Multiple Vehicles Affected in Chain-Reaction Crash

No. We rarely had big accidents here. But I’d been through this before. I’d lost my entire world because of a car crash, and it was unthinkable to imagine it happening again. My stomach roiled, and I gripped the couch hard enough to break two nails. The weather. That was my next thought. The power of the storm had likely caused as much chaos on the roads as it had at the Jamboree. I didn’t know what Dan drove or the model of car I should be looking for, which felt ludicrous, because this was a small town, and I knew what everyone drove! Didn’t matter. I grabbed my keys off the counter, slid into my tennis shoes by the door, and sprinted in the rain to my car. Torn between heading to the highway just outside of town or straight to the hospital, I went with my gut. There would be more information available at the hospital, and hopefully, I’d find Kyle at work. All would be just fine. Then this sick feeling in my stomach could disappear forever, and we could get back to life as regularly scheduled.

When I arrived in the entryway of the ER, I found the waiting area more crowded and chaotic than I’d ever seen it. Tasha stood in the midst of the masses, holding a clipboard thick with forms. Hurriedly, she flipped between them as she spoke with the different groups of people. Not sure what to do, I stood off to the side, all the while scanning the nurse’s station behind Tasha for any glimpse of Kyle or Dan. My chest ached with worry. My body was cold all over. I tried not to shake like a leaf but was wholly unsuccessful. A moment later, Tasha spotted me and came in my direction.

“Babygirl, what have you heard?” The look on her face was grim, and I didn’t want her to say another word. I wanted to live in this space for always, a moment when I could believe that everything was okay. Because whatever Tasha was about to impart would be true forever and ever, and I wasn’t sure I could bear it.

“Savanna.”

I turned and there she was. Kyle. The relief was overwhelming, and I reached for a chair to steady my shaking legs. She looked drawn, tired, and worried.

“You’re okay.” I was already crying. My limbs went heavy.

“Are you ? Are you hurt?” she asked, her forehead creased with concern. We walked toward each other at the same time, meeting in the middle.

“I’m fine,” I said, wrapping my arms around her. “I thought…” I blinked, unable to voice the worst words ever. “I saw the news and got so scared. It was like my parents all over again.” I sucked in air.

She frowned. “You thought I was in one of the cars.”

“I did. I just had this feeling something was horribly wrong. But you’re here.” I squeezed her. “Thank God you’re here.”

“I’m fine, but—”

“And now that I’ve seen your face, I can get air.” I pulled in more. “I can breathe again.”

She nodded. “Let me just slow you down.”

“You can do whatever you want now. You can run up a giant bill on my credit card or refuse to do another dish for the rest of your life.” I laughed. “In fact, I’ll do the dishes from now on.”

“Hey, look at me, okay?” She said it rather forcefully, so I did. “Charlie was involved in the accident. He was working at his store’s other location and heading back for the Jamboree.”

“Oh.” I took a few seconds as the meaning washed over me. “Charlie was involved. Where is he?” I asked quietly. Dread approached as if stalking me from behind. Charlie and I were supposed to have dinner. Our first dinner. He was my brother, and he was hurt. This was hard to fully process, yet I knew it was awful.

“They’re working on him. He was alone in the car. I should actually get back but I’ll stay in touch. Head home, but keep your phone with you.”

“Kyle, is it bad?”

She hesitated.

“No. Don’t do that.” I refused to let go of her hand. “Tell me the truth.”

The blood seemed to drain from her face and she nodded. “I’ll do everything I can, but he’s in bad shape right now.”

“Please, Kyle. Listen to me. You have to save him.”

The haunted look on her face was one I knew I’d never forget. She squeezed my hand. “I gotta go.”

Alone, I looked around the crowded waiting room. Jake would be there soon. Charlie’s mother. Jill. Kyle was right. I should wait at home and not insert myself in a moment where my presence might make anyone uncomfortable.

“You okay, sweetie? You want to sit down?”

I turned. Tasha. “I’m not sure. I’m not sure what I should do.”

“It’s been an awful night. Your girl is helping a lot of people.”

“Is she okay?” I should have asked Kyle. The trauma onslaught might be a lot for her, given her difficult year back in Charleston. But it was like my brain didn’t have enough room. I needed her to save Charlie, and we would sort out the rest after.

“I think so.” Tasha looked back at the double doors leading to the ER. “But I’m sure this one is hitting them all pretty hard. They’ve already airlifted two patients to a larger facility. Unfortunately, we’ve had some fatalities as well.” She’d said the last part in a whisper.

My stomach dropped. Sometimes I felt like we were isolated from larger tragedies in our tucked-away spot in the world. This was a grim reminder that we weren’t.

I gripped the steering wheel harder than I ever had as I drove home, making deals with God and the angels and whoever else had control over the universe not to take Charlie from me when we hadn’t even gotten the chance to get to know each other. I’d never had a sibling before, and I couldn’t fathom losing him now. I tuned in to the local radio station searching for information, all the while my wipers working overtime in a monotonous dance. The storm still hadn’t moved off us. I had no idea how they’d been so wrong about its trajectory. The news was reporting that six people in a passenger van had not survived what had been a head-on collision between two cars on the highway that ran between the towns. Eight others had been injured and transported as a result of the chain reaction. They were asking the rest of us to stay off the roads until the danger died down.

Once home, I sat on my couch with the lights off and watched the last system of lightning move through the sky in a show I would have thought beautiful if I didn’t hold it responsible. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I wanted to, so there I remained for what felt like an eternity. Earlier, I’d checked on my employees at the store, happy to hear that when the power went out, the backup generator had kicked in. I had BeLeaf’s bankroll to thank. Next, I’d called my Airbnb guests to hear that they’d made it to Sal’s for dinner before racing home when the storm intensified. They were safe and so was the house.

It was well after midnight when I heard from Kyle. “Hey, this is the first chance I’ve had to call.”

“How is he?” I asked automatically.

“His family’s here and gave me permission to officially update you on his condition.”

“Okay.” I exhaled slowly, feeling the need to stand, maybe to prepare myself for whatever was next. But Kyle had just said his condition . The fact that he was still with us was a blessing I hadn’t overlooked.

“He’s intubated and dealing with some bleeding in his abdomen. His left arm and collarbone are broken. He needs surgery, but we have to wait until he’s strong enough.”

“To survive?” I asked.

“Yes. Unfortunately, he’s not stable at this point. His vitals aren’t showing the kind of consistency we want and need. I’ll be honest with you, tonight will be telling.”

I closed my eyes and covered them with my hand. “And Jake? How is he?”

“Holding it together. He said he’s going to call you in the morning.”

I nodded. “I’ve taken the morning off. God, I wish you were here. Are you okay? Do you need anything? Food, maybe? I can deliver.”

“They ordered some pizzas for everyone. I’ll grab a slice at some point. I’m gonna stay here tonight.”

“Okay.” I was relieved she was there for Charlie and also worried about her, but not quite sure what to do in regard to the latter. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

“I haven’t had to. Just staying focused.”

She was holding it together. I could tell. But I wondered what would happen when she stopped moving. “Kyle.” I didn’t have the perfect words, but in the midst of worrying about Charlie, I didn’t want her to feel like I wasn’t there for her . “Please call me if you need anything.”

“I’m good. Promise.” I could almost see her forcing a smile. “What about you? You hanging in there?”

“I am.” It was a helpless feeling, sitting around waiting, but that was literally my job at that point. To support everyone from afar.

“Whatever happens, we’re going to get through this,” she said. “I can just feel it.” And for a moment, I actually believed it.

* * *

It was the gnawing in my stomach that woke me up. I was still in my clothes from the night before, lying on my side on my couch. I blinked, taking stock of my surroundings and trying to catch up. It was light outside, and notably, the storm had cleared the way for the bright burst of sunlight that shot through my living room window. That’s right. I’d slept out here. When had I last eaten? It was lunch the day before. I’d planned on dinner at the Jamboree, which had never even opened its doors officially before the world went to hell on a thunderclap.

I checked my phone. I had a missed call from Jake. Dammit. I gave my head a shake in search of clarity and called him back. With my hand to my chest, I stood upon his answer.

“Hey, there,” he said.

“Hi. I saw you called an hour ago, but I guess I finally drifted off. How are things there?” It was a weird dance of not knowing how involved I was reasonably allowed to sound. I felt a little like a guest star on their TV show. Important, yet only adjacent to the main characters.

“They’re holding as steady as they can be. Charlie gave us a bit of a scare a couple of times overnight, but he seems to have leveled off. They’re saying he’s more stable. His blood pressure is holding and his heart rate is good and strong.”

I took a cleansing breath and my hand flew to the top of my head. “That’s great news.”

“They’re looking at surgery in a few hours if he’s still improving. He’s been sedated, but hopefully they’ll wake him up tomorrow if all goes well.”

I squeezed the phone in gratitude. Things were trending in the right direction, and it felt like I could breathe.

“And hey, Savanna? Kyle’s been just fantastic. Was here all night along with the other doctors.”

I was flooded with both warmth and pride. “She’s amazing.”

He filled in a few more gaps about the accident. Charlie had been on his way back from the store’s other location, a familiar commute for him, when he’d been involved in the accident. Jill had been a rock in spite of her own fear of losing him, and Jake was trying his best to keep a positive outlook.

“Thank you for taking the time to update me,” I said.

“Well, kid, of course. You’re part of us now. Though I admit, we’re not at our best right now.”

Tears sprang into my eyes. “Well, that means more than you realize.”

“I’ll let you know when there’s more.”

We ended the call, and I made myself something to eat before checking in at the store. Peter had taken the reins after we’d talked the night before, and he’d ordered me to take the day, if not more. I appreciated his kindness.

With Charlie doing better, at least for the time being, my focus shifted to Kyle. She’d need my support after the long hours and intense trauma. I decided to put together a little care package and a homemade meal and take it up to the hospital. I wondered if she’d gotten any sleep in the on-call room she’d told me about. After a shower, a meal, and assembling my delivery, it was close to lunchtime when I arrived at the hospital. The busy waiting room was much quieter, with the families either having gone home or moved to the rooms of their loved ones. Tasha was gone, too, and a woman I’d seen before but didn’t know nearly as well sat in her place.

“Hi, I have a drop-off for Dr. Remington. Is she by chance available?” I peered behind her to the electronic double doors, but they were closed and quiet.

“I’ll check,” the woman said. Her name tag read Amelia, and she had kind eyes, not unlike Kyle herself, who I missed more and more by the minute. “She’s actually not on this afternoon.”

“Oh.” That was a surprise. Maybe we’d crossed each other in transit. “Um, I guess I’ll head home. I bet she’s there.”

“They said something about Charleston.”

I frowned. It sounded like a mistake except for the fact that Kyle was actually from Charleston. Could it be a coincidence? “Is Dr. Collette available? Can you tell him it’s Savanna Potter? I just had a quick question about my girlfriend.”

Amelia nodded. “He’s here. I’ll see if he has a moment to talk.”

Dan appeared a few moments later with shadows under his eyes. “Hey, Savanna. I told her to get out of here. She’d clocked so many hours this week, even before all of this. Because of our influx, we had some reinforcements from Billingsley Memorial, so I thought it was best she get some rest.”

“What was it I heard about Charleston?”

He looked thoughtful. “I could have sworn she said she was heading back there for a bit. But don’t quote me.”

“No worries at all. I’ll just check in with her.” Confused and attempting to piece the puzzles together, I handed him the basket. “Lunch for you.”

“Oh, that’s very thoughtful. You sure?”

“Of course. Thank you for all you did last night for all of those people. For Charlie. You deserve it.”

He nodded and gave my arm a pat. “We’re all rooting for him.”

I wandered back out to the parking lot, phone in hand, willing a text from Kyle. A call. Hell, I’d accept an owl with a letter to quell the concern that licked at my heels like a hot flame. I tried her phone again and then drove by the house to see if by some chance her car was in the driveway. The beach house also offered no sign. Where the hell had she gone? And why?

I found myself overanalyzing all our conversations for a clue. Did I do or say something that had upset her? I checked my phone again and then another eleven times in the course of the hour. It was only once my brain settled that I could clear away all the doubt and recriminations. Kyle was in distress, and if she left, she was likely in crisis mode from all she’d just been through. She was nervous about facing another big trauma, and this one had likely done a number on her.

I sent another text. This time I made sure my worry, my support, and yes, even my love came through.

I know yesterday had to be awful for you, but I’m so worried that I haven’t heard from you. Tell me you’re okay. I’m here. Come home.

I added a heart for good measure and sat on my front porch. Waiting. The sunshine and the crisp, cool afternoon didn’t match the state of my world in the slightest. Yet here it was. A testament to my small grain of sand–like existence. Life went on all around me as my concern gained momentum.

Finally, two hours later, a reply from Kyle.

Charlie’s gonna be okay. I’m rallying but might need space to hit reset. I came home for a bit. I want to be the kind of person you’re proud of .

I was gutted but also split in two. On one side, my heart ached for Kyle after being thrown into the deep end before she was ready. On another, I wanted her to see me as a partner, someone to go through hard times with her. And she didn’t. I wasn’t sure how to process that information, because it felt pretty damn dire that we weren’t in this thing together quite yet. What if we never would be?

I closed my eyes and sat back against the brick wall of my home. I would need to busy myself if I wanted to get out of this endless cycle of thoughts. I thought through my to-do list. I had a little time before heading over to the rental property to add my final touches once the cleaning crew finished. Email was always piling up, so I grabbed my laptop and settled in. Two new bookings were in my inbox, and I accepted both.

I clicked automatically on an email from the hospital, likely a bill for my ankle, which was feeling almost as good as new. Unless I overdid it, something Kyle had been staying on top of me about. Only this email contained a chart of some sort. No, a test result. That’s when it dawned on me. These were the results of the DNA test Jake and I had both submitted for. My heart rate sped up and I scanned the first few lines. I skimmed past the table of DNA markers to the summary result halfway down the screen.

Probability of paternity: 0%.

What? No. Not possible. I stared at the sentence, the weight of it holding me hostage. It felt like someone had grabbed me by the throat and refused to let go. I couldn’t move a muscle, which was a new sensation. I read the damning words again and again, but my brain hadn’t yet caught up to their ramifications. And then it did.

“He’s not my father,” I said out loud. “They’re not my family.” I stood and began to move, as if putting distance between me and the screen would somehow allow me to outrun reality. I looked back at it, lost and confused. I’d been losing people most of my life, but this felt like a cruel new way for the universe to make it happen. I was shaking. I only realized it because the table I gripped from behind now shook, too.

Well, this was certainly a twenty-four-hour period that would be hard to top. I was numb until the sun went down, which was actually a blessing. As evening descended and the darkness of early winter engulfed everything, the tears found their way to me.

I was alone, I realized. Not just physically in this room, but in life. Even Jonathan would soon be gone. And any attempt to remedy that loneliness came back to bite me like a snake hell-bent on teaching me a lesson. Well, I was ready to pay attention this time and throw in the damn towel. No more risk taking. No more reaching out to people asking them to love me. Because how pathetic, right? I was a puppy dog chasing after affection, and what had it gotten me? I’d keep my head down, do my job, and get through this life with as few scrapes as possible. I already carried too many scars.

My phone lit up with an incoming call. Apparently, I couldn’t turn off my feelings instantly, because my chest squeezed and hope blossomed that I’d see Kyle’s name on the readout. Not helpful. It was Jake. I wanted more than anything to talk to him about the email, or even better, have him tell me it was all a mistake and that he was my dad, after all. Nightmare: undone. If only. I answered the call.

“Hi, kid. Surgery’s done and the doc says he came through it with flying colors.” He added a relieved laugh. He was celebrating, which was entirely appropriate.

I smiled. “I’m so happy to hear it. What’s next?”

He took a moment to update me on the steps they were anticipating for Charlie’s recovery, which would certainly include some physical therapy once he had the strength. It wasn’t until the end of the call that I quietly told him to maybe check his email, and that I would be thinking about him, and Charlie, and Peggy, and Jill.

“You got it. I’ll call you soon,” Jake said.

We ended the conversation, and I changed into a pair of shorts and tank top, slipped beneath the covers, and tried to forget that my best friend was moving away. My girlfriend was shutting me out (again), my parents and Lindy were still gone forever, and the new family I was just starting to fall for actually didn’t belong to me at all. No biggie.

As I drifted off, I missed the arms that were no longer around me. The watermelon hair. The aquamarine eyes. How badly I longed for Kyle was a red flag. I wasn’t allowed to keep the people I loved. I was more convinced of that than ever. Happily ever after was a joke, a convention dreamed up by the ad wizards of Hallmark as they ate low-fat yogurt in a drum circle. I had a mounting pile of evidence to dismiss the power of romantic happy endings handily. What was going to be harder? Convincing my heart.