Page 76 of Dreadful

“It wasn’t one of Claudio’s cars.” Sever uses a chair to help himself get up. When his hand leaves the back, the painted pink wood is clean.

“Your hands aren’t bloody,” I point out numbly.

I don’t know why I notice that, but the difference between him being nearly spotless and me and Gio being covered in death feels stark. Sympathy wrinkles his brow. His mouth opens and closes like he doesn’t know what to say. Neither do I.

He turns to Gio instead and clears his throat. “Is there anyone else that could have it out for you?”

“You think someone other than that tyrant would attack a couple of old bakers? Claudio has been threatening us for months because we haven’t been able to pay him on time. Protection money. Bah,” Gio spits.

“Goddammit,” Sever mutters as he rakes his fingers through his hair before bending to kiss my forehead. “I…fuck, I hate to do this, but I have to go.”

My mouth falls open. “You’re leaving?Now?” He winces, but I don’t let up. “How the hell can you leave at a time like this? Gio and Tony helped you last night, maybe even saved your life. And now you’re just going to leave?”

“I’m sorry, Tallie. I wish I could stay, but there’s something I have to do—”

“You know what, Sever?Vaffanculo. Leave.” I throw my hand toward the door.

“Tallie, I—”

“Leave!”

“I promise, Tallie. It’s for a good reason.”

Gio is no longer present for the conversation as he lovingly caresses Tony’s face. I shake my head at Sever.

“There are no good reasons for what’s happening right now.” Sorrow and resentment shudder out of me. “Leave if you want. There’s nothing here for you. Not anymore.”

“Tallie, please…”

“Go.”

“I’m sorry,dolcezza,” he whispers.

I don’t look at him. I keep focus where it should be: Tony and my grievingnonno.

Sever’s uneven steps crunch the shattered glass on his way out. The bell rings like a cheerful, mocking omen. A shadow passes across the empty window as he walks away.

That’s what we are. Shadows. I’m haunted by dark fragments of memory, and I let one sliver of hope trick me into believing that Sever could shine a light to help me escape. I don’t know why I fell for it. I’ve honed my hatred for over a decade, and this is where hope got me.

But…what ifIdid this? My hatred. My thirst for vengeance. That was all me. Was I found out? If I hadn’t set out on this vendetta, would Tony be alive right now? Would Gio have been safe from this heartbreak?

Is this all my fault?

One sudden, jarring word shouts in my mind.

No.

It’stheirs.

All of them. Every single person on my list.

If my father hadn’t been forced to make a deal with the devil in the first place, then Tony would be alive. If the driver hadn’t run into our car, if the capo hadn’t stolen me, if the maids hadn’t watched me suffer, if the butler had fed me, if the gardener hadn’t ratted me out, if I wasn’t told my sins were my fault by the—

The priest.

He’s not supposed to be next unless the capo is already dead. I want to move forward anyway, though. Order be damned.

But I can’t keep going with the list, can I? As much as I hate them, what about Gio?