Page 28 of Dragon Rivals of New York (Dragons of New York #3)

Chapter 28

Sora

O nce we’re all clean, my men dress me in one of Kyro’s shirts, feed me, and put me to bed. I feel bad that they’re doing so much for me when they’re injured too, but they reassure me multiple times that they want to take care of me.

I think I’m starting to understand.

With Manny, I always felt like I had to take care of him because that’s what was expected. Obligation and shame drove every action, along with the slim hope that maybe, if I did enough, he’d give me what I needed. He’d be with me, care for me, love me.

And whenever I failed, when I messed up and burned dinner, or broke a dish, or forgot to tell him something, or left the laundry in the washing machine for too long, I would beat myself up and feel like I didn’t deserve love. Didn’t deserve to be cared for if I couldn’t care for someone else.

I was so busy taking care of him I didn’t take care of myself. And the few times I did, I felt guilty for it. So I waited for him to take care of me, hoped he would if I just did enough. But it was never enough. The few times I was brave enough to ask for what I needed from him, either inside or outside the bedroom, he always seemed irritated.

All these thoughts crowd my mind when I wake up sandwiched between my two sleeping dragons. They do such a good job taking care of me, but am I just falling into the same problems I was trying to avoid by staying out of a relationship? I can’t just expect them to take care of all my needs for me. I know that, theoretically. It’s part of why I wanted to stay single after my divorce, so I could figure out who I am and how to take care of myself on my own.

That’s no longer an option. So what does it look like to take care of myself, rather than waiting for someone else to take care of me, while in a relationship? How do I receive what they have to offer without feeling like I'm being selfish for accepting their love and help? How do I still take care of myself in this new situation?

I’m honestly not sure.

With a deep breath, I slip quietly out of bed, not wanting to wake my men. Whatever was in the pool really took it out of me. My foot still aches through to the bone, but I’m feeling well enough to walk on it now.

Kyro and Jethro got the brunt of the poison, and then they barely set me down all night, carrying me around the apartment and getting me whatever I needed. It was glorious, but I felt guilty about it, too. I felt a lot of things last night.

My body heats thinking about the way they lifted and lowered me between the two of them in the shower. It was tame compared to the other sexual experiences we’ve had, but it was my favorite. I loved being sandwiched between my mates, having them inside me at the same time.

Picking up my phone, I see it’s six in the morning. I’m supposed to be at work at eight. Could I get there in time if I left right now? Maybe if a dragon flew me, but… should I even go with everything that’s going on with the Ruby Diamond Horde? It might not be safe.

I should wake up one of the guys and have them take me to school. Home, and then to school. I can’t wear Kyro’s t-shirt to work, even if it goes down to my knees.

Jethro rolls over and throws an arm and a leg around Kyro in his sleep. They look too peaceful to disturb.

I pick up my phone and slip out into the hall to call the school.

Yesterday was the first day I missed since taking the job a year ago. And here I am, missing a second one already. I wonder who they got to sub for me yesterday. Hopefully, it wasn’t Miss Smith. The kids don’t like her and always complain when she subs for the other teachers. Even if they get someone else, I don’t have lessons planned. The kids will get behind on the curriculum and we’ll be playing catch up the rest of the week—if I even make it in for the rest of the week.

Mind spinning, I place a hand over my heart, take a few slow breaths, notice how my body feels in this moment, and ask myself what I need. Just like my therapist encouraged me to do last time we talked.

What would my therapist say about me going to work after everything? She’d probably tell me the school is prepared for this, and I don’t have to break myself to keep from inconveniencing them. What would Jethro and Kyro say? They would definitely want me to stay here. I think of what Jethro told me the other day.

“You don’t have to earn your existence.”

Tears fill my eyes.

But don’t I? Staying here and lounging around with two hot men all day is so selfish. But… what do I need?

Two slow deep breaths, and I know. Beneath all the noise in my mind, I know I need to stay here. I could make it to school. I could force myself through the day despite the ache in my foot and the worry about what will happen with the temples, and it would be fine. That’s what I’d do if I was with Manny. Force myself to keep going so he wouldn’t think less of me. But Jethro and Kyro aren’t like that.

And I don’t want to be like that anymore, either. I want the balance that was always lacking in my life before.

And what I need right now is exactly what my men want to offer. Rest. And love.

Out in the hall, I lean against Kyro’s front door and dial the school. It rings twice before someone picks up.

“Hello, Hope Elementary. How can I help you?”

I take another deep breath and quickly explain that I hurt my foot and won’t be in for the rest of the week.

“Oh no. Your foot? What happened, dear?”

“Um… I fell.” A sick feeling settles in my stomach. I hate lying, but what am I supposed to say?

“Of course we want you to take care of yourself, but are you sure you can’t come in? Maybe you could just sit most of the day? You know how much we need you.”

My throat constricts and my stomach feels like it’s full of hot rocks, but I press through. “I’m sure you’ll get by without me for a few days. I’ll be back on Monday. I’ll see you then. ”

Breathing heavily, I hang up before she can say anything else, feeling like I just ran a marathon. My back slides down the wall as my legs go out from under me, but I feel lighter than when I woke up. It feels good to know I advocated for myself in this small way.

Once that’s done, I consider crawling back into bed, but I’m starving. I bet my guys will be too when they wake up. What I really want—no need—is to bake something. My grandma taught me to bake, and it always helps me relax. There’s just something about being in the kitchen surrounded by sugar and flour that makes me feel better about the world.

Manny hated when I baked. He said it was because I made a mess of the kitchen, but the subtle comments he’d make about how bad baked goods are for you made it clear he was more concerned about the calories and my waistline. He was always making comments about my weight. Little cuts that dug deep.

Oh, I should make cranberry scones. It’s the first recipe I ever made with my grandma. Manny refused to eat them when I made them, saying they were too fatty. But I love them. It’s a comfort food that tops everything else.

I wonder if Kyro and Jethro would like them. I want to take care of my men in some small way, like they’ve taken care of me. Not because I feel like I have to in order to earn their care, but because I want to show my gratitude and… well… my love .

A quick search on my phone shows a grocery store at the end of the block, but I probably shouldn’t go alone. We don’t know what the Ruby Diamond Horde is capable of after last night.

Guess I’ll have to wait until they wake up.

Just as I’m about to get up and go back inside, Otto comes out of the apartment across the hall. He was at Finley’s transformation, so I know he’s a dragon, but we haven't spoken much.

He gives me a double take and asks if I’m alright while looking at the door behind me like he’s wondering if he should get Kyro.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I stand, tugging at Kyro’s shirt. It’s long enough to reach my knees, so it’s not exactly immodest, but it still feels a little scandalous. My mother would throw a fit if she saw me wearing this in front of someone else. She’d probably throw a fit if she saw me wearing it in my own home. She’s of the opinion that a woman should always be dressed and put together in case company stops by.

“I’m Otto, by the way. In case you don’t remember.” He holds out his hand like he’s going for a handshake, but immediately pulls it back like he thought better of it. “Are they doing okay? Are you? I mean, after last night?”

“Yeah. My foot hurts a bit, but I’m fine.” I laugh awkwardly. “ I’ll be glad once I’m a dragon and can heal faster.”

His smile is a little sad. “Adrianna and Midas are planning an attack for tonight.”

“Really?” That’s news to me. Although, I guess I should have expected it. “Are you… I mean, will you…”

“I’ll be there, yeah.” He looks proud about it, but my heart plummets.

He’s so young. Or at least he looks young. I know dragons age differently, but if I had to guess, I’d say this guy isn't even twenty yet. And tonight he’s going to risk his life. For what? So I can have hot sex with two dragon men for the next century? So the possibility of some unknown consequence doesn’t happen to the hordes?

“Aren’t you too young?” I ask.

“Yeah, Midas wasn’t happy about it. I’m guessing Kyro will be pretty pissed, too, considering… Well, you know. But they need all the help they can get, and I’m trained. I can take care of myself.”

I try to give him a reassuring smile. “I’m sure you can.” He still looks upset that I commented on his age, so I add, “Could you come with me to the grocery store? I don’t think I should go alone right now, and I need a few things. I could use the protection. ”

His chest puffs up, and he grins. “Absolutely. I was on my way to class, but it won’t start for a while. I just like getting there early.”

“I always give myself extra time to get places, too.” We walk to the stairs since there’s no elevator in the building. For a moment, I consider going back to change, but there's something freeing about going out just like this, without caring that I'm not perfectly put together.

Just as we reach the stairs, I look back and see Otto’s door opening again. Damian steps out. I don’t know him well, but he’s Cyrus and Finley’s friend, so we’ve hung out a few times.

“So, you and Damian, huh?” I tease, elbowing Otto lightly.

His cheeks turn a blotchy red. “Don’t tell Kyro. He’s okay with the peace treaty, but he wouldn’t like the idea of me hooking up with someone from the Gold Horde.”

“You know who’s in his bed right now, right?”

He looks a little sheepish and laughs. “Fair enough.”