Page 9 of Dragon in Boots (The Immortal Tailor #2)

CHAPTER NINE

Damien had done everything possible to rid himself of Pet before boarding the plane, but it had been no use. Sky had tipped off the sex fairy every step of the way, ensuring that they all went to Dallas together.

At least Pet found somewhere beside his pocket to hide out during the flight—probably the cargo hold to pilfer lingerie from people’s suitcases—so he didn’t have to listen to her dragon sex story. Instead, he got to use his time to make a list of places to search for Cimil.

After the flight, he got settled into his rental SUV, where Pet caught up to him just as he was about to pull out of the parking spot.

He lowered the passenger-side window to let her in, knowing Sky was near, too. He could smell her shampoo.

“Since you both insisted on coming,” he said, “I’m putting you to work.” Giving them something to do would keep them out of his hair.

“Sure. I’ll go to your hotel room and break in the sheets,” Pet said, bouncing on the passenger seat.

“Like hell you’re touching my bed.” Gods only knew what sort of germs the creature carried. “I’m giving you a list of places to check out. You are to observe and look for signs of Cimil, but do not approach her. Do you understand? We must let the gods deal with her.”

“Sky wants to know why Cimil is on the lam,” Pet said.

“She escaped, and we must find her. That’s all you need to know.”

“I bet she’s here for the dragon jizz fest,” Pet said. “Can’t blame her. It’s magical.”

“Yes. But only if you’re a female dragon, which you are not.” Damien put the engine in reverse.

“Pfft. Shows what you know, Damien. Dragon man-juice can be used for all sorts of things: salad dressing, moisturizer, potting soil—it’s like the superfood of the natural world.”

Nasty. “Thank you, but I have no interest in the dragon or his sack-moisturizer. I only need to find out if Cimil is here.”

“Don’t know what you’re missing.”

Damien handed Pet the list on a small piece of paper. “These are all of the locations I want you to investigate. Again, do not approach her. We all know she is wily and manipulative, so best to limit any communication.” Basically, he’d compiled a list of every bar, strip club, and fondue house within a ten-mile radius of the sighting of the dragon semen. If Cimil was here, she’d be doubling up on the fun, mixing business with pleasure. I.e., lots of snacking and debauchery while trying to convince this dragon to pair up with as many females as possible. “Now, off you go. Come find me later downtown at the Ten Seasons.” He’d read it was much better than that other hotel with only four.

“Sky says to be careful. Her ghosti-senses are telling her something doesn’t feel right.”

So Sky suddenly cared about him again? Hilarious. “Thank you, but I’ve done just fine on my own for two centuries. Don’t worry about me.”

He suddenly felt a hand brush across his cheek. He knew it was Sky because his skin tingled, and now he had a chubby.

Damned ghost. Such a flirty seductress.

Pet flew off out the cracked window, hopefully taking that temptress Sky with her.

“Now. Let’s see.” Damien punched the first address into the GPS. It would be a long day, but with any luck, he’d find Cimil and then head home first thing tomorrow.

“Hello, cowboy. Lookin’ for me?”

Damien glanced up from his phone. Just outside the driver-side window was a pair of turquoise eyes hidden under a large pink wig and cowboy hat. “Cimil.”

“So let me get this straight.” Sitting on the sofa in his hotel suite, Damien grabbed his glass of whiskey from the coffee table and watched Cimil pace the room while she busily munched on a bag of extra-spicy Corn Nuts, which she’d produced from her hat. Every few handfuls were tossed on the floor in the corner of the room, where they disappeared. Sort of. Minky, her invisible unicorn, liked to chew with her mouth open.

He continued, “You’re saying that you escaped prison out of the goodness of your heart, because the last living male dragon doesn’t want to be a dragon anymore and basically lives his life in another form?”

“Exactly.”

“And unless he shifts back at the precise moment, he can’t fertilize the flock of female dragons heading this way.”

“Right-o, bubby! And because females only come into heat when the male is in full bloom, bursting at the seams with baby-dragon batter, which only happens every few hundred years, all will be lost if he doesn’t dragon up.” She covered her mouth and spoke out the side. “FYI, these broads are old, so I can’t really blame him. I mean, I wouldn’t shape-shift for them either, but hey! And egg is an egg. Am I right? He doesn’t have to marry it, he just has to fertilize it.”

Damien shrugged.

Cimil continued, “But this is probably the ladies’ last chance to reproduce, so he has to play, or there’ll be no more dragonitos. Like. Ever. Also, gods help us all if the dragonettes come all this way and don’t get any action. Yanno what I mean?”

It dawned on Damien that whatever he thought he knew about dragons had just gone out the window. For starters, he’d had no idea they could shape-shift. Though, that did explain why they were impossible to capture. They could appear as anything, even human.

Also, he’d been unaware that the male dragons tried to bang the entire herd of females who answered his mating call. According to Cimil, only a few eggs—if any—resulted in offspring, thus the reason there had been so few dragons in the world before the blast. Now there were even fewer. Maybe there’ll be none soon.

“Cimil, I admire your dedication to the survival of the species, but I can guarantee your interference will change nothing.” If anything, she’d just get in their way. It was how Cimil rolled. Chaos was her love child. “In any case, I have to tell Votan where you are.”

“He said he’s going to kill me, didn’t he?” Cimil asked.

A lump formed in Damien’s throat, but he kept his mouth closed.

“Yep. There it is.” Cimil shook her head. “I try to do good, and my selfish brethren only think about their vacations, retirement, and binging all the BBC miniseries they missed out on. All six hundred thousand hours. Meanwhile, the world could lose the most majestic monster ever to fly.”

“We’ll still have the were-eagles.” Those were pretty impressive and huge—about the size of a small aircraft. There was a pack of them living up north.

“I’ll make you a deal, tailor. You help me convince this dragon to shift back and do a round of bang-bang with the ladies when they show up, and I promise I’ll turn myself in.”

“You. You’ll surrender, knowing what Votan has planned?” Damien found that hard to believe.

“Sure!” She swiped a hand through the air as if it were nothing.

Damien knew she was lying. The question was: Could he alert Votan to Cimil’s location without tipping her off? Because Cimil had made a mess of his life in the past and would continue her shenanigans if she remained free. He could think of nothing better than a world without her in it.

He was about to lie and say he’d help, when Cimil opened her mouth. “Tailor, if you do this for me, I can make it worth your while. I can get Sky another body. In fact, I can get her an endless supply so she can run out and get killed to her heart’s delight. And then come back to you, of course.” Cimil winked.

There was a time when Damien would’ve jumped at that chance, but now? After everything he’d gone through the first time with Sky? No, he had to let Sky “live” her life so he could move on. No more trying to be the hero.

On the other hand, could he truly turn his back on Sky simply because she’d kicked him to the curb? It didn’t seem like the gentlemanly thing to do. A strong man, like himself, helped others when in a position to do so.

If only my evil brother were here… In the past, when conflicted, Damien always did the opposite of his brother’s suggestions, and it generally worked out. Of course, after two hundred years, Damien had discovered that in addition to being bespelled by Willa, the entity living inside him was not his evil twin brother. That was what his father had told him as a child, since all Greystone males were born the same. Twins, sharing one body. One good. One bad. It was up to the good one to keep the other’s violent tendencies in check.

Only recently had Damien come to learn that his brother had actually been a rage demon possessing his body. Apparently, his great-great-grandfather had made some sort of pact with the creatures in order to protect the Greystone bloodline. It was like having the Terminator (the evil one) on call, living right inside you.

The evil bastard was gone now, which was a huge relief; however, there were times when Damien found himself missing the little devil. It made navigating situations like these much more difficult. Also, Damien missed being able to call on the demon to kill, which it did with glee and pizzazz, while leaving Damien feeling guilt-free for the most part.

Now, it was just him. One man. One body. All the decisions.

“Cimil, how do you intend to provide Sky with unlimited bodies?”

“That’s for me to know and me to find out. But if you scratch my backside, I’ll scratch yours and throw in some bodies. Deal?”

As usual, she made about as much sense as a pair of lederhosen made of licorice—one of Cimil’s many strange costume requests back when he made clothes for her. Still, Damien needed to give her offer consideration before saying no, given how Sky was the impacted party.

“If I were to say yes, how do you expect me to change this dragon’s mind about shifting back to his natural form?” he asked.

Cimil shrugged. “If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn’t be wheeling and body-dealing with you, cowboy.”

So he had to figure it out.

With a sigh of resignation, Damien polished off his whiskey and set the glass on the glass table. “I’ll think about it, but Cimil, if I agree, I want your word you’ll turn yourself in.”

She nodded with a sly smile.

“I mean it. Swear on the lives of your untamed rascals.” Cimil had somewhere around nine children with her husband, Roberto. They were dangerous beasts in tiny packages. Unsurprisingly, Roberto had recently left Cimil and taken the kids because of her stunts.

Cimil raised her left hand. “I swear on the lives of my sweet, mini terrorists that I will turn myself in as soon as our dragon gets busy with the dragonettes.”

Damien still wasn’t sure if he was going along with this, but he’d make that choice after he spoke to Sky.

“So where do I find this dragon of yours?” he asked, thinking it might be a good idea to have a quick chat with the big winged lizard. If Damien could understand the beast’s reluctance, perhaps he could find a solution.

“Great question,” Cimil said. “He was supposed to work the eight o’clock show, but he flaked. Or scaled? Whichever dragons do.”

And there it is. The Cimil surprise . “So you want me to find him, too.”

“Bingo!”

This was already turning into a bad idea, probably not worth risking the wrath of Votan. “And where does he work?”

“My new strip club, of course! Dragon man is part of the show. The ladies love him!”

The dragon was working as a male stripper? Things were beginning to make sense. The dragon was probably having too much fun to care about mating with a bunch of winged dinosaurs.

“Then I will begin my search there.” After I speak with Sky. If she did not want to come back to life, then Damien wouldn’t bother.

“Good. And bring your baby oil.”

“Sorry?” he said.

“Well, I need someone to fill in for the midnight show.”

“Cimil, I am not stripping.”

Cimil stuck out her pink lower lip. “Then no bodies for Sky.”

See! This was what he was talking about; nothing with Cimil was straightforward.

He got up and showed Cimil the door. “I’ll be in touch.”

“Here’s the address.” Cimil produced a pink card and tucked it into his jacket pocket. “Come, Minky. Our tailor has some manscaping to do in preparation for his sexy dance.”

“I am not…” He shook his head. Arguing with Cimil was a waste of time.

“See you at the club in a few.” She winked and disappeared as a brisk wind whipped through the room. No doubt, Minky making her exit.

Gods, I hate those two.

Now he had to talk to Sky and discuss Cimil’s offer. Hopefully, she and Pet would be along soon.