Page 31 of Dragon Fight (The Dragon Queen #2)

31

I didn’t jerk away from Brom in that moment, though by the gods, I wanted to. He’d ripped my heart from my chest and then, with tender care, put it right back where it was supposed to be all in the same moment. For several heartbeats, I couldn’t even breathe. Then, it was all I could do to draw breath, to focus on the oxygen going in and out of my lungs, because anything else was beyond me. My mind stuttered, as my thoughts misfired into fragments: short, broken and quickly abandoned, as I tried to make sense of it. In contrast, all my muscles tensed in response, and my heart rate accelerated rapidly. As far as my body was concerned, I faced a threat, and I had to decide whether to fight or flee from it. Problem was that my brain wasn’t up to any decision-making.

So, flee, it was.

I prised Brom’s fingers off me, wresting free of his grip when he was reluctant to let me go. He called my name as I twisted to my feet, the pain in his voice evident. But he didn’t realise that he’d been wrong, so wrong, about me when he said I was strong. I wasn’t strong enough to handle it all—to take on my pain and his—and my instincts pushed me to escape to where I only had to deal with my own. My pulse was racing in my ears as I took great jagged gulps of air, and I shoved the curtains to one side to stagger back into the room to see three solemn faces turn my way.

And none of them was surprised to see the state I was in.

“Pip—” Ged started to say, coming towards me, arms outstretched, but I dodged away from him.

“Did you know?” I asked and I got my answer in the ways his hands fell limp to his sides. I took a deep breath. “You did. Right.” With that settled, I veered away from Ged, then was met by other obstacles.

“Lass, I know this is a terrible shock—” Soren started to say but I shook my head sharply.

“But it shouldn’t have been.” I took another deep breath and held it as I looked around the room, staring at each of them and, with that, my previous hot panic moved towards cold rage. Finally, in that moment, I felt like the queen Glimmer was always prompting me to be. An affronted queen, an angry one, who was going to take her subjects to task. “Should it? I shouldn’t have discovered any of this by accident. I shouldn’t have had Ada rub the truth into my face, or be forced to endure Kay’s well-meaning but sad looks as she imagined…”

My throat closed down for a moment, as though my body was refusing to let me continue, but I forced the words out despite how harsh they sounded.

“I should’ve known what I was getting myself into. Instead, you all —”

“Presented you with a much prettier version of reality as we courted you?” Flynn’s voice was just as sharp, his face pale except for two bright red spots in his cheeks. “That’s what men do, Pippin. We know we’re all hopeless wretches, not worth a moment of your time, but we try and put our best foot forward to convince a woman otherwise.”

He took a step forward, watching me closely when I didn’t back away from him.

“Zafira’s heat forced things to move at an unnatural pace. As did the queen and her convoluted plots.” His eyes burned as he stared into mine, as if pleading for my understanding. “We would have taken our time with you, Pippin. Done more than just grunt that we wanted you and gorged ourselves on all of the sweetness of your body.”

“I did some of my own gorging,” I muttered, unable not to acknowledge the truth, and that made his smile return, just for a second.

“Rich boy always did have the gift of the gab,” Ged said, coming to stand beside Flynn. “Used to talking himself out of shit when he took the blame for our pranks, but yeah…” He shook his head slowly. “You’re gonna discover shit about each one of us that you like and dislike, because that’s where we are in this relationship. We’re still getting to know each other.”

They were being oh-so-reasonable and part of me hated that, so I clung to the anger, the fear inside me, because really that’s what was at the base of all my emotions. I was terrified of the way I felt when Brom walked back into the room, and the atmosphere seemed to thicken so much it was hard to breathe. I felt it as a physical pressure, the need to let go, to not hold the hurt so close, and I wanted to. Gods, how I wanted to. Then, a voice across the room had my gaze swinging around to Soren, who had said very little.

“C’mon, lad.”

Just a quick aside to Wraith, that was the only warning anyone got as the dragon came awake, stepping out of his nest and towards us. Soren settled in his saddle while still in the room, much to my surprise, although I didn’t have long to contemplate that skill. The other men all scattered as the dragon charged towards the window opening beside me, and then my drill sergeant, my man, reached down and hauled me up and onto his dragon’s back.

I realised that what I’d needed was to feel surrounded by strength and protection, and I got that with the feeling of Soren’s strong arms around me, his utter competence, as he urged Wraith out the windows. He kept me anchored to the dragon’s back as Wraith paused on the balcony and bunched his haunches, ready to throw himself into the sky.

But there was one thing missing.

Wraith’s head turned at the sound of a small chirrup, letting us know that Glimmer had joined us, her claws digging in hard as she clambered across our legs and then took her place on Wraith’s neck. The big male huffed before opening his wings and leaping into the sky.

“Soren, we weren’t supposed to leave the room!” I protested belatedly. Cynane’s instructions were coming back to me now my head was starting to clear.

“Cynane isn’t my queen, lass,” he told me, his lips resting against my ear. “And she isn’t Wraith’s. You and Glimmer rule our hearts, and yours is hurting right now, so bugger the rules I say.”

The drill sergeant going rogue for me? Something hot, hard and selfish flared in my chest, but along with it came a sense of reprieve, of my heart’s burden becoming lighter. I’d needed to escape, just for a minute, and Soren had known. My muscles relaxed inch by inch, as my body sank into his and he rested his chin on my shoulder, pressing a kiss into my neck as he felt tension leave my body.

“I’ve got you, lass, don’t you worry. I’ve got you.”