Page 24 of Doxy for the Ton (Misfits of the Ton #7)

W hen Alexander woke, the room was already light. He yawned and stretched, relishing the warmth on his skin, and rubbed the drowse from his eyes. The room sharpened into focus to reveal furnishings in soft-pastel shades of blue and yellow, and he inhaled the soft aroma of rose and lavender.

Where the devil am I?

He reached out, and his hand met the warm, soft body of a woman.

It was her.

Sweet heaven, she had never been more beautiful—all the more so because…

His heart soared with delight and desire.

Because last night they hadn’t merely rutted. They had made love.

She had trusted him enough to take her pleasure.

He placed his hand on her cheek and caressed her skin with his thumb. Her lips curved into a smile. She tilted her head, leaning toward him as if, even in her sleep, she craved his touch.

Doxy she may be, but in many ways she was an innocent. Her wide-eyed wonder as he brought her to pleasure with his tongue had almost undone him. He had longed to see her in the throes of passion, but to be the first man to awaken her to such pleasure…

“Oh, Mimi!”

Her eyelids fluttered open, and his heart gave a jolt as her gaze focused on him. Illuminated by the morning sunlight, her eyes were the color of honey—sweet and warm.

He placed a kiss on her lips.

“I love you, Mimi.”

She sat up, clinging to the bedsheet, and glanced about the bedchamber, as if she feared punishment from having committed a transgression.

“It’s late,” she said. “I can’t recall the last time I slept this late.”

“We must indulge in many such times to come,” he said.

“N-no, this isn’t something a woman in my position should grow used to.”

She climbed off the bed, still clutching the corner of the bedsheet. Then she let go and, as if ashamed of her nudity, darted across the room to a chest of drawers, pulled out a chemise, and slipped it on.

“There’s no need for coyness,” Alexander said, “not after what we shared last night.”

“L-last night was…”

“Wonderful,” he said. “Beautiful, magnificent. I finally realized the depth of my feelings for you—and what I want.”

She turned toward him, her eyes glistening. “Wh-what do you want?”

“You,” he said, rising from the bed. “I want you .”

“You have me, Alexander.”

“Only until the end of our arrangement,” he said. “But I want more. I want you to be mine .”

She flinched. “Y-yours?”

He nodded. “I’ll honor our original agreement and settle two thousand guineas on you today.”

“A-and then?”

“Then our arrangement can be made more… permanent .”

She blinked, slowly, and silence thickened the air, save for his heartbeat thudding against his chest.

Then she shook her head.

“No.”

His gut twisted with disbelief.

“ No? ”

Her expression hardened. “Must I repeat myself?” she said. “Is a woman always to be disbelieved—her wishes ignored—when she says no?”

“At least tell me why,” he said.

She lifted her hand and brushed it across her eyes. When she lowered it again, they were wet with tears.

“Because I swore I would never endure that life again.”

“You mean—you had a protector before?” he asked.

“Yes.”

Jealousy stabbed at his heart. “What happened?”

She flinched as he took her wrist.

“Tell me, Mimi,” he said. “If I am to be rejected with such coldness, then you owe me a reason. Who was he? Did you love him? Do you still ?”

She closed her eyes, and he tightened his grip.

“Tell me!” he said. “Is it all just a game to you?”

“No, it’s not a game!” she cried. “Yes, I loved him—as one loves a dear friend. He was kind and gentle—almost like…an uncle. H-he looked after me when I had nowhere to go. And then he…”

She shuddered and let out a sob.

“He what?” Alexander said, swallowing his nausea. “He took advantage of you? An older man taking in a young girl then using her as—as his…”

“It wasn’t like that!”

“He’s a cad, Mimi—he deserves to be shot.”

She shook her head. “He was the kindest man I’d ever known. He gave more than he ever took.”

“What, money, jewels, silk gowns?” Alexander winced at the bitterness in his voice. “ I can give you that.”

“ He gave me consideration, and respect,” she said. “Many men will throw trinkets at a whore so she’ll part her thighs, but few will give her kindness. Do you know why?”

“Pray, tell me.”

“Kindness is the one gift that’s given without condition, because it is a gift of the heart.”

“Then why aren’t you with him now?”

“Because he died.”

She crossed the floor and climbed onto a chair, tucking her legs beneath her. Then she rocked back and forth. Alexander’s heart ached to see the vulnerability in her eyes.

“What happened?” he whispered.

“I waited for him one morning, but he never came. Instead, his son…h-his son strode into my home, told me his father was dead, and threw me out—but not before he tried to force himself on me.” She dipped her head. “My one consolation is that…that kind, gentle soul never knew the depths of his son’s depravity.”

“Dear Lord, Mimi,” Alexander said. “Who is he? Do I know him?”

“It matters not who he is,” she said. “What matters is that I swore, from that day, never to be beholden to a man again, no matter how much he may profess to love me.”

“But surely you don’t think I’d treat you so abominably?”

He placed a hand on her shoulder, and she stiffened.

“I don’t care that you sold your body for a living before we met,” he said. “Do you think I care that you were some man’s mistress?”

She looked away.

“I was pregnant.”

Alexander let out a curse. His gut twisted in revulsion, and he withdrew his hand. She lifted her gaze, her eyes glazed with pain.

“That’s the one sin a man in your position can never forgive—isn’t it, Your Grace?”

“No, you misunderstand me!” he said. “You were wronged. You think I’d blame you —or the child you bore—for the sins of the man who took advantage of you? Where is the child?”

“I lost it,” she said. “So you’re spared the indignity of that , at least.”

He drew her into his arms. At first, she resisted, then the fight drained from her body and she lay limply against him.

“My love, I’d never throw you out,” he said. “I can gift you a house— this house, if the landlord is amenable to selling. Or I’ll buy you another. All I ask is that you let me visit you from time to time.”

He took her hands and kneeled before her.

“What do you say, my love?” he asked. “A house of your own, plus the two thousand guineas, of course. You’d be set for life. Then you needn’t fear what might happen if…” He gestured to himself. “And, of course, if you were caught, I’d ensure any child was taken care of.”

She closed her eyes and grew still.

“Mimi, what do you say?”

He held his breath, awaiting her reply.

Then she opened her eyes, and his hope faded at the resignation in them.

“Thank you,” she said. “It’s a generous offer for one such as I.”

“Then you’ll take it?”

She shook her head. “Forgive me, Alexander. The price is too high. I-I cannot risk it.”

“Mimi, if you’re angling for something more…”

She withdrew her hands. Alexander caught a blur of movement before she struck him on the cheek, delivering a stinging slap.

“I’m angling for nothing!” she said. “But if I accept your offer, then I’m in far greater danger than I ever was with Wal…with him .”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because my feelings for you far surpass any feelings I had for him!” she cried. “Because he didn’t occupy my every waking moment, and fill my hopes and dreams—and because I didn’t love him with every fiber of my being!”

He recoiled at the force of her passion—finally unleashed, as if, at last, she revealed her soul.

He opened his mouth to reply, but she raised her hand.

“I believe we’ve both said enough on the matter,” she said. “Please, go.”

The pain in her eyes pulsed like an open wound. Guilt gnawed at him at the knowledge that he was the cause of it. He held up his hands in appeasement and retreated toward the dressing room.

“I’ll send for Charles to help you dress,” she said. “I shall, of course, continue to honor our agreement, but I’d be obliged if you give me a little respite from my—my duties today.

“I’ve no wish to cause you pain, Mimi,” he said. “I’ll meet with my banker today to settle the money owing to you.”

“There’s no need.”

“There’s every need,” he said. “If you cannot accept my love, then at least accept my honor. Perhaps then you might come to believe that there are some men in this world who keep to their word—and that there’s one man in the world who loves you.”

She nodded, but did not reply.

Leaving her alone in the bedchamber, he entered the dressing room and closed the door behind him. Moments later he heard a soft knock on Mimi’s door followed by female voices. Then Charles entered the dressing room, carrying Alexander’s own clothes, and helped him to dress.

After he’d dismissed the footman, Alexander approached the adjoining door to Mimi’s chamber, but the female voices indicated that her maid was still with her. Then he heard a soft sob, followed by the maid’s voice in low, soothing tones.

He didn’t know what broke his heart more—Mimi’s anguish, or the fact that, in her moment of despair, she turned to someone other than him.