Page 21

eighteen

. . .

[India]

The series with Colorado ended with a win-lose-win combination yesterday evening, and then the team dispersed for their day off.

Tonight is the ESP awards in Hollywood and only one Tennessee Terror is up for an honor with the national sports network.

Being that The Den is the Terrors’ streaming service, none of my colleagues or myself are part of the ceremony.

Declan surprises me by changing his flight. “Let’s spend the day together.”

The small gesture to stay with me made a big impact.

“What ever shall we do today?” I tease him the next morning while sitting up in bed.

I’m happy to spend the remainder of our time together in bed, continuing to explore one another’s bodies.

Declan is still as defined as ever, but he has more moves than I remember.

He’s been both positively possessive and exquisitely tender in bed, and I love that I never know which side of him I’m going to get .

I like them all.

“Let’s take a hike.”

Oh . The suggestion doesn’t surprise me as much as give me pause. He means he literally wants to do something with me, like he took me dancing in the street.

“Declan Wylde, are you asking me on a date?” I tease him while he collects his belongings strewn around the room.

He stops stuffing a shirt in his duffle bag, returns to the bed and climbs onto the mattress, forcing me to fall back.

“India Baker, there’s nothing more I’d love to do than date you.”

His blue eyes pin me in place and my breath catches. He knows why I can’t openly date him.

“We’d need to keep it a secret,” I whisper, acknowledging that I’d like more time to explore what’s between us. The sex is outstanding, but I’d love to know if there is more outside of sex.

I’m reminded of what he said. Intimacy might overrule lust .

Can I allow myself to have more with him? I shake the thought, knowing I’m ahead of myself like I’d once been. Thinking a week together was meaningful and special, leading to more, until his life was flipped.

“And I’m promising to follow your lead.” He stares down at me, imparting his words. He’ll do what I want. Be public; stay private.

It’s not that I want to hide him, but I need to be careful, like I said the other night. With my heart and my job.

He swipes his hand along my hairline, brushing back my wayward hair. “Just promise me open communication, India. Don’t shut me out.”

I nod, rolling my lips inward. “I can do that.” Or at least, I’ll try my damnedest when I haven’t always been the best at giving away my feelings.

“You need to scream and shout. Throw things or punch something, you just let me know.” He pats his chest. “Not saying I want you to hit me,” he teases. “But I’ll find a way for you to do all the things you want to do in a safe space.”

“Yeah?” I whisper, feeling sheepish about the rant I went on the other night.

I realize asking for a smile wasn’t really asking for a smile in a demeaning way.

He just wants recognition, and I don’t really need to be the standoffish bitch I know I can be.

I’m friendly with the other guys on the team, why not be more cordial with Declan.

Caution has been my motto. I’ve been afraid a smile will give away everything.

I still want him. In the best way.

Admitting to him the final reasons behind my divorce from Malakai was humbling.

While my therapist reminds me that the divorce was not my fault, I’d been incredibly embarrassed, and humiliated that my husband, a prominent man affiliated with the Vegas Victors, slept with a college-aged intern working for the organization.

People I’d worked with knew about the affair.

They’d faced me, sometimes daily, without acknowledging what was happening behind closed doors in my husband’s office.

Malakai was unhappy in our marriage— we were not happy as a couple—but stooping as low as adultery was on a different level of betrayal.

My father being aware of the situation was even lower.

I’d filed for divorced, put in my notice, and hid for almost a year before the offer from The Den came in.

Thankfully, after revealing my worst, Declan treated me like I was the best thing to ever happen to him.

“Yeah.” He smiles, wide and reassuring before lowering to kiss me. I wrap my arms around his neck and tug him closer to me and for a minute he gives in. Then he abruptly pulls back.

“Okay, wildfire. Out of bed. No more letting me use that smoking hot body for sex.”

I laugh, lighthearted and carefree, because if anyone would be accused of using someone for sex, it’s me with him. But I’m not using him. Not in any manner. And he wants to spend the day with me. Take me on a date.

I smile even wider than I think I’ve ever smiled, because I’d like to date him. Even if it is only in secret.

We pack up our things and hop into my rental car, deciding we’ll go directly to the airport at the last minute.

We stop for sandwiches and drinks to take on our outing then park at a local hiking trail. The Denver area is full of them, for all levels of skill and terrain preference. The five-mile one we select will take a few hours, and neither of us is in a rush.

We want to spend time together.

Declan takes my hand at first, lifting it to his mouth, and pressing a kiss on my knuckles before we take off along the gravel path.

Certain points along our journey call for us to walk single file and Declan has me walk in front of him during those times, where I don’t miss that he keeps his hand on my lower back if he can.

“You have the sweetest ass,” he says at one point, and I chuckle.

“Thank you?” Glancing over my shoulder, I see him checking me out.

“I just want to take a bite of that sweet flesh.”

I laugh harder. “You did that last night.” With me flipped on all fours, Declan kissed down my spine and then bit my ass hard. As I yelped, he slid into me, distracting me, filling me, and I was pleasantly surprised by the contrast of pain and pleasure.

“Hmm. I’m not certain I’ve had enough.” He catches up to me as the path widens again and wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to kiss my temple.

I don’t think I’ll ever have enough of this either. Teasing, playful, flirty moments with him.

“So as long as we are a secret,” he continues to joke. “Truth. Tell me a secret that no one else knows. ”

I lick my lips, hesitating for only a second before admitting my dream job. “I’d like to work for the upcoming Women’s Baseball League.”

Suddenly, Declan breaks into the refrain from “The All-American Girls Professional League Song” about being All-American and women in baseball.

I laugh because I can’t believe he remembers the tune or even a few lines from it.

“ A League of Their Own ,” he says. “I remember it being one of your favorite movies.”

I stumble over my own feet, surprised by the statement, and causing his arm to fall from my shoulders. He takes my hand again.

“You wanted the soundtrack for Christmas one year,” Declan continues, surprising me even more, as he squints from the bright sunlight overhead.

“How do you remember that?”

He taps his temple and smiles, rolling his head in my direction. “Steel trap.”

I chuckle again, finding myself laughing more in one day than I think I’ve laughed in the last twelve months.

“You know.” I clear my throat. “I never did get that soundtrack.” The CD I’d wanted when I was nineteen was such a simple item on my Christmas wish list.

“Do people even use CDs anymore?” Declan teasingly mocks.

“Actually, I’m into vinyl now. I have a record player.” Having the turntable somehow feels even more outdated than CDs and yet I love the scratchy sound of the twelve-inch discs. Physical records are making a comeback.

“Going old school,” Declan adds with a chuckle.

“I love the vintage sound. What can I say?” I chuff as well.

“Good thing you live in Nashville then,” he smiles, knocking his elbow against mine.

“Good thing.” I smile back at him, feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time. Giving him a teasing glance, I add, “Your turn. Truth. A secret.”

Declan purses his lips a second. His expression tight, like he’s really concentrating, digging up the best dirt he can give me.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” I tease, knowing I don’t need his darkest secret. I just want something honest between us.

“I really wanted to see you when you came to Chicago, but I didn’t think it would be fair.”

My feet falter again, stumbling over the smallest of rocks, and Declan reaches out a hand to catch me. Once I’m confident my knees won’t buckle, I keep walking, staring straight ahead as his hand slips up my spine and cups my nape.

“Why didn’t you?” I ask, afraid I might get a little too much honesty.

“I’d just learned I was having a baby with another woman. Kind of hard to put on the charm and discuss long distance relationships with that in the mix.”

I have no doubt Declan made the right decisions for him and Michelle and Montgomery. And I’d never, ever ask him to turn back the clock and deny himself fatherhood. But I need him to know one more truth.

“I wanted to be there for you.” He hadn’t asked and I hadn’t wanted to push, but I’d been willing to be whatever he needed.

He gives me a look but something in my expression must admit the deep truth. I’d have followed him wherever he wanted to lead us, much like he’s promising now he’ll follow my lead.

“Thank you,” he whispers and pulls me closer to him. This time he doesn’t kiss my temple but stops our motion and tips my chin, kissing me beneath the bright sky.

The moment feels so symbolic. We aren’t sneaking into bathrooms or bedrooms or around corners. We aren’t sneaking out to play in the snow or dance in a corner during my brother’s wedding.

We’re out in the open, kissing in broad daylight, and I cannot express how refreshing it feels.

Declan Wylde might actually be mine one day.

A girl can dream.

Pulling back, Declan stares at me, and the intensity is almost too much. I don’t want to dismiss his truth, but I do want to restore us to lighter moments, so I say, “Dare.”

He tips an eyebrow.

“First one to that tree gets their choice of sexual favors behind it.” I nod toward a clump of trees up ahead to the left of us, and before Declan can answer, I take off running.

I squeal like a girl as his heavy footfalls thunder behind me and yet he somehow never catches me, letting me lead us into the shadows of tall trees and lush leaves as a canopy of shade.

Behind a giant oak, my back falls against the bark and Declan drops to his knees, not winded or whining that he just lost as he tugs my shorts to my ankles surprised to find I’m not wearing underwear because of the built-in panty.

“You’ve been like this the entire hike and I didn’t know.” His forehead furrows, his tone incredulous.

“Does it matter?” I tease until he slips his finger in me, and my breath catches at the welcome intrusion.

He hums, noncommittal in answer, before he removes his finger and presses his face between my thighs.

The first lick has me crying out. The second has me melting.

His tongue is a wonder, determined to discover every fold and crease, and drink me dry.

Only, I’m soaked, his attention making me sloppy.

“Give me everything,” he mutters to my lower lips before digging in again and I swipe my fingers through his short hair, afraid to interpret his demand as something deeper.

And more afraid to admit, I’m prepared to meet his command.

He can have it all.