Page 16 of Double Bind (Cosmic Mates #6)

The cabins were dark, their occupants asleep in the wee hours of the morning as Marshall trudged home. Exhaustion turned his feet to lead, and uncertainty weighed heavily on his heart. After storming out after the fight and disappearing for the better part of a day, he couldn’t imagine what kind of a reception he’d get.

He hadn’t intended to be gone this long—hadn’t planned to leave the compound at all. If only he hadn’t stopped by the woodshop—but he had, and he’d gotten drafted. When Tailless was around, shit happened.

At least the separation had given him time to come to his senses. He stepped onto the porch, determined to make amends and fix his marriage.

Quietly, he let himself into their unit. In the darkness, he spotted an unmoving, silent lump in the bed. He tiptoed closer. “Amity? Are you awake?” he whispered.

“You were going to leave me,” she deadpanned.

He’d been afraid she’d think that. “I didn’t leave you. The Artisan’s Loft doc was helping out at another settlement. Tailless hurt himself again. I had to take him to an infirmary at another site.” Blood had been shooting everywhere. Tailless was sweeping sawdust when he fell and impaled himself on an awl.

Chartreuse and Bragg had been about to leave to deliver a load of tables, so he had been tasked with running Tailless to the doctor. They’d put him on a stretcher, loaded him into the back of the conveyance, and he’d left. He hadn’t expected the trip to take the rest of the day and half the night. “Would it be okay if I turned on the light?” He needed to see her.

“Whatever,” she said dully.

“I should have gotten word to you.” He lit the lamp.

“I’m not referring to today. I’m talking about when we fled Terra Nova.”

He stiffened with dismay and understanding. He wondered how she’d found out. Bragg? Faith? One of them must have told her. He turned.

Her eyes were red and swollen, her face puffy. The anguish he’d caused struck him like a punch to the gut. “Is it true? You weren’t going back for me until Faith insisted? You were going to leave me on Terra Nova?”

“No, it’s not,” he denied unequivocally to avoid causing further pain, although the truth was nuanced and far less simple.

“Don’t lie to me!”

“I’m not lying. It looks bad, but please let me explain.”

“Like you let me explain?” she fired off, getting out of bed. She crossed her arms over the granny nightgown she wore.

“Then you know that things are not always what they seem,” he said. “I’m sorry for my reaction in the library. The Cosmic Mates match caught me by surprise and triggered my insecurities. I’m so sorry for assuming the worst.” He hoped a reminder how he’d jumped to the wrong conclusion would allow her to see she might be wrong, too.

He approached her and gently grasped her upper arms.

She averted her face.

“Despite what the others believe, I would not have left Terra Nova without you. They heard what I said—I don’t deny I said it—but they don’t know my thoughts or feelings. I already cared for you. I did believe we were too late to save you, but I wouldn’t have left without making absolutely certain. Faith pressed the issue, but I would have gone back for you on my own, I swear it.” She had to believe him!

She wasn’t saying anything, and he felt like he would throw up. What if he couldn’t fix this? What if this was the end? He loved her. He needed her. He took a breath. “If you don’t believe me, I hope you can at least forgive me.”

She lifted her head. Anguished eyes held a glimmer of hope.

“Feelings changed the situation for me. If it had been anyone but you, I wouldn’t have gone back—that’s how certain I was you’d already been killed. But I couldn’t do it. Like Faith, I had to know.

“It was sheer luck I got to you before Rogers and Glenn did. They had trashed your cottage when I got there. If you hadn’t left to go to Faith’s, they would have killed you.

“Our marriage started badly, but I still believe we can have an amazing future. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please give me a chance to prove how much I love you.”

She slid into his arms and hugged his waist. “I love you, too. I believe you.”

“You do?”

“I do.” She nodded against his chest. “Maybe because I have to, but I do.”

Relief shuddered through him. He vowed to spend his life proving she had no reason to doubt him. He kissed her, and it was like coming home. Home is where the heart is. He kissed her again and again. Desire awakened, and his cock stirred.

“I shut down my Cosmic Mates profile. I swear I just forgot,” she said when they came up for air.

Evidence of her affection and fidelity had been all around him. His own fear had caused him to doubt her. “I know. I came to my senses fairly quickly—but by then, I was en route to the other village with Tailless.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

“He’ll live. He must be part cat, but he’s using up his nine lives really fast.”

“A woman at the woodshop said you’d driven off alone.”

“Zhara wouldn’t have seen Tailless. He was lying in the rear of the conveyance.” Marshall shuffled them toward the bed. “Let me hold you.”

“You are holding me.”

“Closer,” he said and glanced at the metal monstrosity against the wall. “Let me stoke up the stove.” He broke away to shove two herb cakes into the beast and then ducked into the water closet to wash his hands.

He emerged to find the granny gown puddled on the floor and Amity peeking out from the covers. She held the blanket back, and he climbed into bed.

Arms and legs, head and shoulder slipped into their rightful, comfortable place. “Mm,” she murmured, snuggling against him. “You feel good.”

“I told you naked was better.”

“You said ‘closer.’”

“You knew what I meant. You ditched the granny gown.”

“How do you even know what a granny gown is?”

“I know if I had had a granny, she would have worn that nightgown.”

“Nobody’s granny has worn a nightgown like this since 1900. I think somebody raided a museum.”

“Well, you were rockin’ it. You’re fetching no matter what you wear. But naked is better.” He smoothed a hand from her shoulder, down her hip to her thigh.

She stroked his chest while he trailed his fingers over her skin. Arousal stirred, but there was no rush. They had all the time in the world. Then she giggled.

“What’s so funny?”

“You’ve been quite chatty this evening. This is the most I’ve heard you speak.”

“I’d do anything to save our marriage—even talk,” he quipped then said, “You’re the most important person in the world. Refuge granted me personal liberty, but you freed my spirit.”

“I love you, Marshall.”

“I love you, Amity.”

And because she liked conversation, he whispered a few suggestions in her ear.

“Ooh,” she murmured and wiggled against him. “I do like it when you talk.”

“Ah,” he said, rolling over on top of her. “But actions speak louder than words.”