Page 16 of Doors & Windows (Liam & Jonah’s Story)

“Maybe that didn’t come out right,” Liam said. “I… No, sorry. Having sex with you would be a very big deal to me. That’s not what I’m trying to… I’m not trying to di minish the weight that would hold. I’m just trying to say that sex, in general, has never been that important to me.”

It was so completely the opposite of everything Jonah had come to learn about the rules of attraction.

Men had taught him, over and over, that his body was a non-negotiable in the bargain of their interest. Even the ones who were nice to him.

Even the ones he thought might have cared on some level.

Even Dominic. That was just the way the world worked.

For some, what he could do with his body was the only thing that mattered.

It shouldn’t have surprised him that Liam was different from the others, even in this.

He wanted to understand. Jonah took half a step back without releasing Liam’s hand; he didn’t want to put distance between them so much as he wanted to be able to read Liam’s face more clearly.

“Are you not interested in any of it?” Jonah asked.

“What we’ve done already, was that…? I would never want to push you to do something you don’t like. ”

The idea twisted in his stomach like barbed wire.

Suddenly Jonah found himself less concerned with what they hadn’t done and more worried about what they had .

He mentally combed through every second from his bedroom, from Liam’s old bedroom all those months ago, trying to remember if there had been any signs he overlooked, any hesitation he had misread.

After all the care Liam had shown him, if Jonah had been the one to inadvertently cross a boundary—

“No! God, sorry. I’m saying this all wrong.

I’ve never really… tried to put this into words before.

” Liam to ok a breath. “Let me make something very clear: I’ve loved every second of what we’ve done together.

And I’m…” He rubbed the back of his neck, pink rising beneath his skin.

“I’m very open to doing more. With you. If you want.

But only if you want. I’m just trying to say it’s not a dealbreaker, okay? Not for me.”

At the soft tug of his hand, Jonah let himself be pulled back into Liam’s space, nodding his assent when Liam raised his arms to wrap around Jonah’s shoulders. Their foreheads touched, breaking away only quick enough for Liam to place a chaste kiss on the tip of his nose.

“This could be enough for me,” Liam said, placing his palm over Jonah’s heart. “ You are enough for me, just as you are.”

Jonah let the words wash over him again and again. He let them run like river water over the jagged stone of his heart, hoping one day it would be smooth to the touch. Looking in Liam’s eyes, this close to their brilliant green, Jonah had no choice but to believe him.

“Boyfriends, huh?” Jonah said.

There was a fleck of half-dried paint on the peak of Liam’s cheekbone. Testing these newfound grounds of their relationship, Jonah pressed his thumb to the blemish and dragged it under his eye. He laughed when all it did was spread the streak of lavender further across his skin.

“I like the sound of that,” Liam said. Jonah didn’t know if he meant the sound of boyfriends or the sound of Jonah’s laugh, but it didn’t matter, because then they were kissing against the backdrop of their own private sunset, and nothing in the world mattered but that.

Jonah snaked his arm around Liam’s waist and pulled him close, no tolerance for even an inch of space between their bodies. Liam acquiesced like putty in his hands, melting into him.

“Can I just say?” Liam broke away after a minute, breathless and close.

“Now that we’ve made things official? This whole construction worker thing”—his hands slid down from Jonah’s shoulders to his arms, where the hems of his sleeves pulled taut against newly defined muscle—“is really working for me.”

It was so unexpectedly brazen; a new flavor from someone usually so shy and sweet.

The laugh that it pulled from Jonah was pure elation.

He felt high off the rush. Chasing that feeling, Jonah spun them around, keeping Liam carefully away from the balcony’s ledge, and bent down to hook his hands under Liam’s thighs.

Liam let out a squeal, all surprise and delight, as he was lifted off the ground.

“Is that so?” Jonah asked. His pulse beat against his sweat-sticky throat, so much wild joy in his body that he didn’t know what to do with it. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Liam’s fingers dug into his shoulders, scrabbling for purchase as he locked his ankles behind Jonah’s back. He was giggling—there was no other word for the heady sound bubbling out of him, like fresh-popped champagne spilling over Jonah’s own mouth.

It was a clumsy stumble back through the open sliding door, Jonah’s foot nearly catching on the lip of the frame. He clutched hard at Liam’s thighs, refusing to break the stride of their kiss as he spun them again, pressing Liam’s back to the wall opposite the mural.

The lavender paint was still damp, staining into their clothes on contact, but Jonah didn’t care. Not when those long legs were wrapped around his waist, hands in his hair, Liam’s weight like an anchor keeping him tethered to earth.

“For the record,” Jonah whispered. “I do. Want more with you.”

“Whatever you’re willing to give,” Liam said. “That’s what I want.”

It didn’t feel like giving with Liam, though. It didn’t feel like he was ever losing anything, trading anything away. The transaction of it was a feeling Jonah was all too familiar with, so he could easily identify the absence of it now.

He lowered his grip on Liam, holding tight until his feet were on the floor. Liam kept his hands on Jonah’s shoulders, keeping him close.

“I think,” Liam said quietly, “this paint is still wet.”

Jonah tipped his head forward to touch Liam’s shoulder. “Oops,” he said, not at all sorry.

With trembling fingers, he traced the strap of Liam’s overalls, playing with the metal buckle at his chest. He pulled back to catch Liam’s eyes, watching his pupils liquify with understanding.

“Oh,” Liam breathed.

“Stop me if you don’t want this,” Jonah said.

It seemed impossible, the little thrill of excitement down his spine as he sank to his knees, that an act Jonah had performed more times than he cared to remember could feel brand new in this context.

With this person. His fingers trembled with anticipation instead of fear as he tugged down Liam’s straps, letting the denim settle below his hips.

Liam was right. They would have to repaint this section of the wall before they left tonight, smoothing over the scuff marks left by their tryst, but Jonah didn’t regret it for a moment.

Not when he thought about the prints of their hands, the fibers of their clothes, the beautiful messiness of this moment forever sealed into the walls of this house in Long Island.

The landmark where they became something they could call by name.