Page 98 of Don't Believe A Word

Picking up their glasses, he said, ‘What is she actually thinking …?’

‘I’m afraid that you’re a liar, a cheat, someone who knows George Symmonds-Browne and who might have been involved in getting her to her aunts, even in harming Janina or Lukas, or both.’

‘Jesus Christ,’ he murmured, clearly appalled. ‘You have to tell her … Please tell me it’s not what you think too?’

She simply stared at him.

He swallowed dryly, but said no more as he went to the bar to order another beer and glass of wine.

As she waited she turned everything over in her mind, trying to get a sense of what her instincts were telling her about the affair, and deception, intended or not. Robert was right about coincidences, of course, they really did happen and sometimes they could stretch credulity to breaking point. So maybe he hadn’t known Carla and Lottie were one and the same person. Maybe he really hadn’t looked at theHindsightwebsite before today.

When he returned to the table and sat down again, Cristy said, ‘If I’m prepared to believe what you’ve told me then, the way I see it, we have two choices going forward: we either make a big deal of Sadie finding out about the love affair between you and Lottie and put your current involvement in Sadie’s search down to spectacular coincidence …’ She stopped, shaking her head. ‘It’s not going to fly,’ she said helplessly.

‘I think what matters is whether or not Sadie believes it,’ he said.

Agreeing with that, she picked up her drink and continued tothink. ‘The alternative is that we pretend it hasn’t happened and carry on with no mention of it … But it’s bound to come out sooner or later, and if the public realize we’ve deliberately held back, duped them even … No, we have to run it, take a proactive stance rather than risk having our reputation trashed by what could easily be viewed as duplicity on our part to the point of outright deceit.’

He reached for his glass, made to drink, but put it down again. ‘Can I remind you that my mother and my children listen to your podcasts?’ he said quietly. ‘If you’re intending to use the letters, the cards … They’re very personal and from another time …’

‘I realize that,’ she said, ‘and I’m sorry if you think your family will be upset by it, but they’re adults, I’m sure they can cope with the exposure of an affair that ended twenty-odd years ago. And you have to understand that Sadie is my concern. Obviously, your secret will be safe if she doesn’t want us to reveal it, but we have to let her make the decision, and I’m afraid I will be doing my best to persuade her to let us dedicate time to it.’

When he didn’t protest further, she continued.

‘I think she might find it easier to accept if you were to go over there and talk to her in person.’

Though he seemed startled by the suggestion, and reluctant, he then began to nod slowly, until finally he said, ‘Yes, I should see her, but if you’re … If you intend to be there I hope you’ll consider it enough to have my letters broadcast around the world without having to add a very difficult conversation with Sadie to my humiliation.’

Recalling the letters, their tenderness and intimacy, and how genuinely upset Robert had clearly been on learning of Lottie’s death, Cristy said, ‘I can’t make any promises yet, but I can tell you that it will not be our intention to exacerbate or sensationalize either your, or Sadie’s, grief.’

*

After leaving Robert to walk back to his rented flat, Cristy drove out of Clifton, updating Connor by phone as she went. ‘It’ll be interesting to see what happens when he and Sadie do gettogether,’ she was saying as she edged between the parked cars on Granby Hill.

‘Even more interesting,’ he responded, ‘will be Mia’s reaction when she finds out about the affair. Presuming she doesn’t know already, and personally I reckon she does.’

‘I agree, but what I’d really like the answer to iswhyLottie ended the affair when she did in 2005. They were still, according to Robert, very much in love, and he got the impression it wasn’t something she wanted to do, but she did it anyway, and never went back.’

‘And it was sometime in the same year that Lottie decided she didn’t want to be published any more.’

Cristy was frowning so hard by now it almost hurt. ‘What the heck happened?’ she murmured, forgetting to indicate as she turned onto Hotwells Road. ‘Sadie would have been seven at the time. They were in Guernsey, she was at school, but I can’t think of anything else that might be significant from around that time. Can you?’

‘Not off the top, but that’s why we need to speak to Corny. Where are you now?’

‘I’ll be driving past Spike Island in the next few minutes. Are you at the office?’

‘It’s Saturday night and I have a life. Also, you surely don’t need me to remind you thatyou’vegot other things to do this evening.’

As her heart fluttered, she said, ‘You’re right, I have, but we should meet tomorrow to discuss next week’s episode …’

The line dropped for a moment; when Connor came back he was saying, ‘… idea when Robert’s intending to go to Guernsey?’

‘He says he’ll reach out to Sadie tonight, and if she agrees to see him he hopes to go as soon as Monday. One of us needs to be there when it happens.’

‘A trip to the Channel Islands? Let me see, who should that be? Oh, hang on, that’s right, David’s already here, that’s why you’re in a hurry to get home. Jodi’s asking if you’d like to come for Sunday lunch tomorrow.’

‘Sounds great. I’ll ask and get back to you. He should be at the flat by now.’

‘Tell him we’d love to see him, and if you two haven’t straightened things out by then, bring yourselves here for a shot of Connor and Jodi counselling.’