Page 28

CHAPTER 28

HEL

“L adies and gentlemen. If I could have your attention for another minute. I have a lady here with me who has a special announcement to make.” The voice rang through the arena.

Hel watched with interest. Maybe one of the team was getting proposed to? She loved a good proposal and loved the idea of a woman doing it. Why did only the men get to propose? She was ready to cheer the young woman on.

As the woman drew closer to her, she winced. Oh, shit. Was that? No, it couldn’t be. Was that bloody Star?

“Hi, everyone.” The woman spoke, and the nasally Canadian voice confirmed her fear. It was Star.

She wanted to look at Frost desperately, to know if he was happy to see his ex, but it was none of her business. She couldn’t have him however much she wanted him. She kept her eyes on the ice and tried to stop herself from clenching her jaw.

“I’m here to beg forgiveness from the most important man in my life,” Star continued, and Hel couldn’t look away even as her heart turned to stone.

“I said some very hurtful things, and the only way I felt I could show him I was truly sorry was to do this.” Star’s voice caught.

It took everything Hel had not to roll her eyes. She would give the other woman this. She was either one hundred percent sincere or an excellent actress.

“Frost. I love you. You’re endgame for me,” Star exclaimed.

When she heard the other woman’s words, Hel’s heart stopped beating altogether. Somehow, despite knowing she would never end up with Frost, the thought of him with someone else broke her.

Hel’s ears rang as she listened to the rest of Star’s speech.

“I freaked out when you were injured. I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you, not run. At the end of the day, I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her,” Star finished.

She was quoting Notting Hill? Really?

Everything else Star said was hazy, but her eyes were clear, and she saw the moment Frost leaned over and kissed the younger woman. Hel turned on her heels and bolted. She didn’t want to witness their big reunion. She needed to leave.

In the locker room, Hel dumped the medical kit she usually carried and grabbed her handbag. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she glanced over her shoulder to make sure none of the hockey players were coming in, but she was alone.

She sent a quick text to Clara.

‘I need to move into the cottage tonight. Is that okay?’

Hel didn’t wait for an answer, she knew Clara wouldn’t mind. Shoving her phone into her bag, she dashed for her car. She didn’t have much stuff. If she hurried, she would be packed and gone before Frost came home with Star. She amended her own thought, not home. It wasn’t her home.

Even as she drove, she warred with herself. She should fight for him, tell him he should be with her. That she thought about him morning, noon and night. That even though she was avoiding him to protect herself, they should spend the rest of his time in Australia together. That a few weeks was better than nothing at all.

She drew up at a set of traffic lights and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. In the silence of her car, she knew she wasn’t going to do it. If she had a few weeks with him, she would want a lifetime, which wasn’t going to happen. It was best to do it now: move out, distance herself from him and leave him to date women who were going to be in the same country as him.

When the light went green, she took another deep breath to steel her resolve before she finished the drive to his house.

It didn’t take her long to pack up all her things, and when she was done, it made her feel empty. This was the sum total of her thirty-five years of life. Two duffels and her handbag.

She should leave his hoodie behind, he had only loaned it to her. But she couldn’t make her fingers let go of it, and she pulled it on over her head. Hel allowed herself a moment to look in the full-length mirror and smile when she read Forster on her back.

Her phone rang, making her jump in surprise. She yanked it out of her handbag and almost answered it, assuming it would be Clara, but the screen lit up with Frost’s name.

Hel chewed nervously on the inside of her lip. Should she answer? What was she going to say to him? She spent so long debating that the phone rang out.

A message arrived a few moments later. ‘Hel, we need to talk.’

She stared at the message. They did need to talk, but it would be easier not having to do it in person. If she had to, she might break and do something stupid.

Putting her phone back into her handbag, she picked up the two duffels and made her way down the stairs. She pulled her keys out and took Frost’s house key off, leaving it on the table by the front door.

She took one last look around the house, which was her first proper home since she moved out of her parents’ house. A tear trickled down her cheek, and she wiped it away, opening the front door. When she walked down the path, she didn’t look back.

She finally called Frost as she drove, and he answered on the first ring.

“Hel, where are you?” he demanded.

“Hi, Frost. I’m in the car.”

“I’m not getting back together with Patricia,” he blurted out.

Hel’s heart soared with happiness, which she tried to push back down. He was still leaving the country.

“I’m glad,” Hel said wryly. “She’s a moron.”

“She is,” Frost agreed vigorously. “Can we talk when I get home?” He sounded so hopeful it nearly broke her that she had to tell him she had already left.

“I’m actually heading over to Clara’s place. The cottage is ready for me.” Hel tried to keep her voice light, but she sounded strained.

“You’re moving out tonight?”

“Yeah. I’m already packed and on the road. Thanks so much for letting me stay. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” All she wanted to do was pull over and cry, but she needed to get to Clara’s.

“Stay.”

Hel couldn’t answer immediately as his quiet word ripped at her heart. “I can’t,” she whispered.

“Please. Stay with me,” Frost asked her. This time, his voice hitched.

“Frost, you leave in a few weeks. It’ll be easier if I go now.” She was so close to turning the car around, giving herself the weeks she had promised herself she wouldn’t.

“We can make it work. You know, the distance.”

A piece of Hel’s heart tore when he confirmed he wanted the same as her. “How?”

“Can you come and work in Canada?” he asked hopefully.

“No. I can’t leave my parents. I should have enough money for Dad to have his surgery in the next six months, and they won’t cope without me.”

“Surgery?” Frost queried.

Hel cursed internally. She would never have mentioned anything if she hadn’t been so upset, but it was too late to unsay the words. “Yeah. I’ve been saving for Dad to have some back surgery he needs. It’s only offered in the private hospital and is eye-wateringly expensive. I need my job here to pay for it. I can’t leave.”

“Oh,” Frost muttered.

“Yeah,” Hel replied.

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him to stay, but she bit the words back. He couldn’t stay. She saw how hard he found it not working. He needed the coaching job for his own sanity.

“Frost. Jake.” She used his actual name, even though it felt strange. “I’m so glad I met you. Thank you for being there for me when I needed someone.”

“That sounds like a goodbye.” Frost’s voice broke.

Hel tried to hold it together, but the tears escaped, blurring her vision as she pulled up to Clara’s gate. Rolling down her window, she blinked until the keypad came into focus well enough to put in the code.

“It’s not a goodbye. We’ve got two more games left. I’ll see you then.” She couldn’t hide the hitch in her voice.

“Can we go out for dinner?” Frost asked.

Hel shook her head, even though he couldn’t see her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

There was a long pause before Frost said, “I wish things could be different.”

“Me too,” Hel murmured.

Frost was silent for a moment before he spoke. “I’m glad I met you too. I’ll see you next Saturday at the game.”

“See you then.” Hel hesitated, then hung up the call. There was nothing else to say.

She drove straight to the cottage that would be her new home. When she pulled up, she put her car into park and put her head down on the steering wheel, breathing deeply as she tried to stop the tears.

“Pull yourself together,” she told herself.

Her firm words didn’t stop her breath from hitching more and increasing in speed. Tears began to flow down her cheeks, and she couldn’t stop them. She sat and sobbed until someone tapped gently on the window.

Clara and Gloria stood outside, the latter clutching a bottle of champagne in her hand.

Hel rolled down the window, wiping at her eyes.

“Hey,” Clara said with a little wave. “Gloria brought booze.”

Gloria shook the bottle at Hel to emphasise the point. “I borrowed it from Taylor.”

“Gloria, we all know you stole it out of his cellar.” Clara rolled her eyes.

“You’re about to marry him. It’s your cellar too,” Gloria reminded her.

“In that case…” Clara paused for a moment. “We should definitely crack it open.” She eyed Hel again. “And maybe grab another one while I set Hel up in her cottage.”

“It does look like a two-bottle evening,” Gloria said sympathetically and leaned in the window to give Hel’s arm a squeeze before she dashed off.

Hel yelled after her, “Can we have the same as we had for breakfast?” She was distraught and felt it was a ‘good wine’ occasion.

Gloria waved over her shoulder and called back, “Only the best for you, my darling.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clara asked softly as she opened the door for Hel.

Hel shook her head at the same time as she said, “Yes.”

“Well, that answer is clear as mud. Come on, let’s go inside.” Clara held her hand out, and Hel took it, letting her friend lead her into her new house.

Hel pulled out of Clara’s grip and wrapped her arms around herself. It had been so easy to think of Frost’s place as a home, but the cottage was so empty without him there. It was a place to live. It would never be a home.

Shit. She plopped down on the sofa. What had she done? He wanted to try long distance, and she cut him down. Her rational mind told her, because how could it work? It just couldn’t.

“Here.” Clara handed her a glass of champagne from the bottle Hel hadn’t even noticed her open as she had been so caught up in her own thoughts.

“Thanks,” Hel whispered, taking a big sip of the crisp, cold bubbles. “He offered to have a long-distance relationship with me, and I said no.” The words spilled out of her.

Clara brought her own glass over and sat down on the sofa, her knees touching Hel. “Why?”

“What’s the point? I can’t move to Canada, and he’s an ice hockey player, well, now a coach. He needs to be in Canada to do that. So here we are.” Hel shrugged, taking another gulp of her drink.

“They play ice hockey here,” Clara offered.

“I don’t think it’s the same. All the players and coaches have second jobs. It would be like us settling to be a first aider when we could be doctors if we lived in another country.” Hel examined the bubbles rising in her glass, tracing the condensation that collected on the outside.

“What did I miss?” Gloria burst through the door with a bottle in one hand and a plate of fruit in the other.

“Did you take that out of my fridge?” Clara exclaimed.

“Well, I didn’t nip to the supermarket, did I?” Gloria was unphased as she poured herself a glass, put the new bottle in the fridge and arranged the fruit on the table.

“You could occasionally, you know,” Clara grumbled.

“You’re right. I could. But it’s so much more entertaining to insist my son takes me, then watch him skulk around trying not to be recognised.” Gloria giggled.

“You are a total menace.” Clara rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Hel. You’re having a crisis, and we’re talking about terrorising my fiancé.”

Hel saw the look on Clara’s face when she said the word fiancé. Her eyes sparkled, and the corners of her lips turned up.

“It’s fine. I could use the distraction.” Hel smiled weakly and scrubbed at her eyes.

“And Gloria can be very distracting.” Clara threw a mock glare.

Hel let them carry on for a little while, throwing insults and giggling together. She used the time to get her breathing under control, drink more of the delicious wine, and mop at her eyes.

Hel eventually told the two women the full story, their second almost-kiss, the feeling she got when she was around him. Star turning up—Gloria hissed at that point and made a few threats before Hel reassured her Star had been sent on her way—then she detailed their conversation on the drive over.

“You should move to Canada,” Gloria stated firmly. “Follow your heart.”

Clara put her arm around Hel and hugged her. “Gloria, it’s not that easy. Hel needs to work. She looks after her parents. Sorry, Hel. I hope you don’t mind me telling Gloria.”

“No, it’s fine.” Hel shook her head, wishing it could be as easy as Gloria made it sound.

“Oh.” Gloria’s eyebrows drew together. “Would he support your parents?”

Hel shook her head again. “We’re not even dating. That’s not the sort of thing I can ask someone.”

Gloria said, “He’ll have a lot of cash stashed away. Those NHL players are paid very well. And you know, in his last few years of play, he had a lot of endorsement deals.”

Hel and Clara both turned to stare at Gloria. How did she know so much about Frost?

“What?” Gloria asked. “I watch ice hockey.”

“For the sport?” Hel questioned, knowing that was not going to be the answer.

“Of course,” Gloria said sniffily.

“And?” Clara asked.

Gloria huffed, “The handsome men skating at high speed.”

“There it is.” Clara laughed, and Hel even managed a little giggle. Gloria was a hoot.

“Anyway. Frost was a big name in the NHL, one of the best defensemen of the last few years. He had a lot of big brands backing him. He won’t be short of money. He’s even the face, well body, of an underwear brand.” Gloria’s eyebrows waggled.

Hel’s fingers twitched. She wanted to search Google, but at the same time, she knew she shouldn’t.

“Of course you would know that,” Clara sighed.

They went round and round in circles, discussing what Hel should do. But none of them could see any way of making it work.

“Shit.” Clara flopped onto the sofa and dropped her head back, staring at the ceiling.

“Indeed,” Hel agreed, mirroring her pose.

A soft snore rose from Gloria. It was one am, and she had fallen asleep an hour ago.

“There’s no way to make it work?” Clara tried one more time.

“Nope.” Hel sighed.

Clara rolled her head to look at her friend. “If you could have one perfect date with him, would you do it?”

“He asked me to dinner. I said no.” Hel knew it was the right thing to say.

“That’s your head talking. What does your heart say?”

Exhaustion and too much champagne made her more truthful than she would normally be. “It says it wants that date so, so much.” Hel stared at the ceiling, her tired eyes unfocused and drifting shut.