Page 29

T he television was on, but Phillip wasn’t paying much attention to the true crime story slowly unraveling on the screen. It wasn’t that he didn’t find the program interesting. On the contrary, Phillip generally found investigations, or anything related to his work, fascinating. But he couldn’t settle down.

Or more accurately, Phillip’s dragon was edgy. With a beast inside him constantly perched on a teetering precipice of intense concern, it’d been a struggle to find balance from the start of Phillip’s life. But in recent weeks, Phillip had nearly forgotten those first days of drinking potions and asking for stasis.

Falling in love had changed Phillip. The two men in Phillip’s life were adored by both him and his beast. However, Phillip constantly paid attention to his dragon, and he’d learned the beast was protective of Keegan and Victor.

When they were close, Phillip had no anxiety. But the moment they left the room, it was as if an hourglass was turned over. Phillip had a matter of hours before he was forced to give up control to a beast who was desperate to shift and scour the planet for Victor and Keegan. Thankfully, Phillip was surrounded by understanding people, and he didn’t want to drive his dragon wild. So, the moment Phillip grew jittery, he sought his mates.

As the days since Phillip met Victor and Keegan swelled, he’d been determined to discover how to best manage his unique predicament. He didn’t want to be a burden on anyone or request special treatment. Which was why Phillip tested his limits and catalogued every nugget of information he could about his dragon’s reactions.

The interesting thing he’d noted was that the dragon’s concern was inconsistent with his mates. It’d grown apparent following Keegan’s graduation. Phillip was rarely without Keegan. They worked together the entire day, and they were joined by Victor in the evenings. And the three never slept apart.

As long as Phillip checked in with Victor regularly, the dragon remained calm. It helped that Phillip and Keegan worked from home, so they were separated from Victor for just the afternoon hours. The dragon was far different when it came to Keegan. Tonight was a perfect example.

Phillip sat on the couch pretending to watch the television. Victor was on the bed across the room arguing good-naturedly with Evergreen via a video call about the last book they’d both read. Victor and Evergreen had vastly different opinions on what they’d enjoyed and disliked about the romance and the two main characters. It pleased Phillip to hear the conviction in Victor’s voice, and he loved that his mate had grown so emotionally attached to the story that he was defending his points with passion.

Victor had proven himself to be someone who saw little point in doing things halfway. If he was cleaning the house, he left no speck of dust behind. Every meal he made was prepared to ensure the Darays would enjoy it, and Victor even threw himself into his hobbies with gusto.

With Victor nearby, Phillip’s dragon should’ve had some semblance of calm. But Keegan wasn’t home, and Phillip didn’t know where to find him. The fallen knight had met up with the friends he’d made training at the Ascension Center to catch up on their lives. Phillip assumed they’d chosen some bar or restaurant to visit, but he hadn’t interrogated Keegan about it.

Keegan was a grown man and could go where he pleased. Phillip wished someone would explain that to his damn dragon. The beast was restless and had been for the past hour, which was ridiculous. While Keegan had skipped dinner with the Darays, Phillip had dropped his fork and plate into the dishwasher a mere thirty minutes ago.

The fallen knight hadn’t been gone that long. Phillip’s dragon wanted him to scour the globe for Keegan and demand the man come home immediately, but the sentinel had no intention of giving in to the absurd request. It was always like this on the rare occasions when Phillip was far from Keegan’s side.

Victor glanced at Phillip, and the smile on his face died. Phillip quickly looked away to avoid allowing Victor to figure out what was going on in his mind, but he hadn’t moved fast enough. With a jaunty wave, Victor ended his call and sashayed on shapely legs toward Phillip. He sat next to him and took Phillip’s clammy hand.

“What’s wrong, Spicy?”

“This is stupid,” Phillip muttered.

“If you don’t like the show, change the channel. But I know that’s not what’s bothering you. The last thing you’d ever do is get antsy about what’s on television.”

“How I feel is stupid.”

Victor caressed Phillip’s jaw and turned his face so their eyes met. His thumb stroked Phillip’s cheek. “How you feel is never stupid.”

“Allow me to speak more accurately. How my dragon feels is stupid.”

The beast in question roared in Phillip’s head, and he wondered if he’d have his first-ever out-of-control shift if he kept negating the dragon’s feelings. It was a foolish gamble, and he was ashamed for instigating a fight with a creature deadlier than he was despite the daggers still floating at his sides. Normally, Phillip took them off in the confines of his bedroom so he was ready and able to cuddle on a moment’s notice, but sitting around unarmed with Keegan missing from the condo had been too much to ask of himself.

“What’s unintelligent is squabbling with your dragon. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”

Phillip captured Victor’s hand and laid a kiss on his palm. “He’s worried about Keegan.”

“We can nonchalantly text and ask him which bar or restaurant he’s at if it’ll make your dragon feel better. Keegan will understand. You aren’t like other shifters. Something about the undead spell keeps your beast much closer to the surface.”

“He should get to hang out with his friends without some antsy undead dragon demanding to know where he is.”

“And you deserve to enjoy your evening without some antsy undead dragon driving you nuts, but reality is often far from fantasy, Phillip. You have a beast who refuses to be ignored. As your mates, Keegan and I both want to do whatever we can to make you and your beast happy.”

“It still does not feel right to bother Keegan. He is out enjoying himself with his friends. I do not want to make him reluctant to go out in the future or have him believe it is necessary to check in with me. He has not been gone that long.”

“Since right after work. Maybe two hours or so. But I bet you can tell me down to the minute. Does this happen to you in the afternoons while you and Keegan are at the office? Are you sitting there the entire time wondering where I am and what I’m doing?”

Phillip shook his head. “I do not want you to think I love you any less, but no. Perhaps it is because we are both shifters, but my dragon is calmer about you.”

“Or maybe your dragon thinks of it instinctively. That’s what we’re taught, right? People have all these nuances. Our beasts don’t. They react with instinct and instinct alone.”

“Sometimes I wonder if sentinels understand every nuance of others, but yes, I know what you mean. How is reacting to one of my mates with anxiety but not the other instinctual?”

“Because I’m a little kitty that’ll hide under a bed,” Victor replied with a chuckle. “Maybe remind your dragon that Keegan’s a fallen knight. He can’t die. Keegan’s more immortal than you are.”

The problem with that statement was that Victor didn’t know the truth. And suddenly, understanding hit Phillip. His dragon knew the reality of the situation. Keegan could die. Victor’s cat instincts would force him to run or hide if he couldn’t defend himself. Keegan was a fallen knight. He’d been resurrected to race toward danger.

That was why his dragon lost his cool the moment they were separated. The weird part was that while Keegan wasn’t as immortal as he believed himself to be; only a sentinel dagger could kill him. A sentinel would never attack a fallen knight. So, once again Phillip was left wondering what the hell was wrong with his dragon.

Keegan wasn’t in any peril. Nothing would ever harm him. Another thought hit Phillip, and he pursed his lips.

“Victor, Keegan is safe. Nothing can hurt him. But what if it did? What if this is not our first life together?”

Victor’s green gaze widened. “Like the three of us were together before and he died?”

“Would we have been shifters in a past life?”

“I believe so, yes,” Victor said. “We don’t have many concrete examples, but look at Brynn and Samson. They were.”

“What if we could not find a beast on the other side for Keegan because he was not a shifter, but you and I were?”

Victor swallowed and leaned against Phillip. “Our beasts would’ve died of heartbreak.”

The downside of sharing your soul with a powerful beast was that they couldn’t handle the loss of a beloved mate. They’d travel to the other side of the veil, leaving the man to die too.

“What if that has followed my dragon to this life?” Phillip asked. “What if he fears losing Keegan again?”

“It’s a beautiful sentiment to think we all loved each other so much that our beasts couldn’t exist without him, but it’s also really, horribly sad. I can’t deny that it’s a possibility.”

A strange feeling of rightness settled in alongside the growing anxiety infusing Phillip’s dragon. While he could not communicate directly with his beast, something told him he’d landed on an idea akin to the truth.

“If that is true, how will I ever convince my dragon to remain calm whenever I am parted from Keegan?”

“I don’t know, sweetie, I guess because I was reincarnated instead of resurrected, my kitty and I were both given a clean slate,” Victor replied. “I’ve never been so happy to know Chand won’t use the same spell as he did for you again. No one should have to contend with a beast who can’t help but react instinctively. I bet nothing cleared his memory. Maybe he can still feel the pain of losing Keegan.”

“Thank you for being understanding and not calling me a fool for even pondering any of this.”

“You’re never a fool, Phillip. I know you don’t like it, but I’m texting Keegan.”

Victor fished out his phone, but Phillip stilled his hand. “No need, Sparkles. He has entered the condo.”

The profound relief flowing through Phillip’s dragon from his sentinel senses locating the fallen knight was so huge, Phillip grew almost lightheaded. Their suite door swung open, and Keegan was there, wearing the bright grin that always picked up Phillip’s spirits.

“Hi,” Keegan said, rushing over to greet Phillip and Victor with soft kisses. “Everything okay?”

“Phillip’s dragon grew overprotective and was anxious without knowing where you were,” Victor replied.

Phillip sighed. He hadn’t wanted to tell Keegan about the war he’d fought in his head, but he also lacked the ability to lie, so he couldn’t have kept it secret anyway.

“You should’ve texted me,” Keegan chastised gently, taking a seat on the couch next to Phillip. “I was at Redmilla’s in Vegas, surrounded by fallen knights. My friends insisted on coming here to mingle with our high-ranking brethren.”

“We learned a little about Phillip’s dragon and have a couple of theories,” Victor explained, then went into detail about the conversation he’d shared with Phillip.

“It sucks to think about you guys dying, but the idea that it was my fault is really terrible,” Keegan said, sadness dominating his big brown eyes. “Sorry.”

“No one blamed you, and it is certainly not your fault. Do not apologize. We failed you, or more accurately, I did. If we are correct, I was a dragon shifter in that life too. It was up to me to save you from whatever peril chased you.”

“We’re going to assume that it wasn’t the fault of anyone in this room,” Victor stated forcefully. “What’s important is that we respect Phillip’s dragon in the future.”

“Oh, easy, I’ll text where I’m at if that helps,” Keegan replied immediately.

Phillip decided it wasn’t enough to have his mates going out of their way to tell him every detail about their lives on the off chance it helped keep him calm. He also owed them his secret. Plus, they had a matebond ceremony to plan soon, and Alaric had already pulled him aside with the reminder that they’d need to use the black poison.

While Phillip could bind his soul to Victor’s and Keegan’s with the aid of the blades created by Chander for that purpose, it was tradition for a sentinel to use his own blades and poison. And he was not one to stray from his brethren. Plus, Phillip wanted Victor and Keegan to know everything about him.

“I need to tell you both something,” Phillip stated. “But before I do, I must ask that it go no further than this room. Keegan, that would be a bigger commitment from you than Victor as it means keeping something from the rulers of the fallen knights.”

Keegan shrugged. “Officially, I work for the Sentinel Brotherhood, and I’d keep any of your secrets from whoever you want. I love you, and you’re both more important to me than anything else in this world.”

“You have my vow to keep it secret too,” Victor added. “And I love you both.”

“I adore you both,” Phillip replied. He sighed and was glad he had a calm dragon as he gave away the one thing the sentinels kept from the entire Council. “It is easier if I show you, I think. As you know, my gray poison is stronger than the green used by my brethren. Stronger only in how fast it works though. The neurotoxin and its effect on the body are much the same. However, you are aware the Skeleton Seven have two poisons too. Theirs swirl together like mine. But every sentinel has access to dual toxins. One green. One black. Give me your arm, Keegan.”

Without a word, Keegan held out his limb.

“I can’t switch mine to green alone. I have tried, but even with the mix of gray, it doesn’t work on Keegan.” Phillip sliced the blade across the fallen knight’s arm, and it made no mark. Then Phillip repeated the process to himself. “Nor does it work on any sentinel.”

Keegan and Victor wore matching expressions of confusion.

“That’s not what I was taught,” Keegan managed.

“That is why it is a secret, Sunshine.” Phillip changed the poison to black. Like the green, it was imperfect for him. It remained a mixture of gray and black, which reminded him he needed to be gentle with his cuts since his toxins were so potent. Phillip poked the incredibly sharp tip of his dagger to his own fingertip. A drop of blood welled.

Phillip grasped one of Keegan’s fingers and barely tapped the top of his weapon to it. Despite the lightness of his touch, it bled the tiniest bit. Keegan’s gaze widened painfully, and Victor’s mouth dropped open.

“Part of the problem is that my dragon knows there is a method to harm fallen knights,” Phillip said. “To our knowledge, only sentinels have this power, and we would never harm a fallen knight, but Fate surprises us often.”

“Yeah, if you can hurt them, maybe one of these other populations we know nothing about can hurt you both,” Victor exclaimed. “I’m not sure either of you should ever leave the damn house again.”

Keegan swallowed thickly. “Thank you for trusting us with this secret, Phillip. Keep reminding your dragon I’m okay. You’re right. No sentinel would ever hurt a fallen knight.” He grinned. “Not even Alaric, and he’s the one complaining about us all the time.”

“I need to talk to Alaric. No Cinder Lord of mine is getting any assignment that puts them anywhere near some asshole who might have poison in their house they’ve been hanging onto until a fallen knight or sentinel shows up,” Victor grumbled. “I mean that’s what Chand made, right? The poison that lets fallen knights bleed long enough to bind their souls? If he can figure it out, so can someone else.”

“I firmly expected Keegan to be more upset than you,” Phillip told a fuming Victor.

The cat shifter hopped to his feet and planted his hands on his hips. “This is totally unacceptable, and my kitty is pissed.”

Happy that he no longer had a secret from his mates and that his dragon had calmed thanks to Keegan’s return, Phillip dared to smile. “Perhaps we could offer a way to soothe your kitty’s rage?”

“Go get in bed, Spicy, and we’ll negotiate,” Victor retorted.

Keegan flew from the sofa so swiftly he nearly stumbled and dove onto the mattress. Throw pillows flew across the room thanks to his quick fingers.

“You’re both going to promise me you’ll stay safe,” Victor stated firmly.

“You have my vow I will protect myself and Keegan,” Phillip replied.

“Thank you. Now, take off your clothes.”

Phillip grinned and rose to do as Victor had ordered.