Page 52

“Disco Witches find magic everywhere.”

—Disco Witch Manifesto #1

Labor Day weekend of 1989 was the fourth high holy day of Howie’s summer calendar. For the seasonal renters it meant packing up, settling bills, and a final clawing for any scrap of romance in which to wrap themselves during the long, cold New York City winter. A few would succeed. Most wouldn’t. Some of the disappointed would vow to never return. But then, after a bitter winter of overly clothed mortals, amnesia would set in. By January the same failed romantics would be desperately seeking a “full share” and vowing to be “really ready this time” to have their perfect summer of love.

On his final day on Fire Island, Joe was still living in the glow of bravery and a newfound outlook on life. The effective dream’s epiphanies clung to him like glorious armor. He no longer feared having his heart broken again. It was merely another part of life, framing what was important and pointing one toward ways to grow. And while the AIDS epidemic was never far from his mind, he continued to explore the depths of his love for Fergal. Their conversations grew more passionate, inspiring, and relentless by the day. They’d spend long hours cuddled in bed after making love, speaking of their dreams, their fears, and their intentions to be warriors together in whatever fight the universe laid before them.

These were just some of the thoughts Joe was having as he stood in line for the four thirty PM ferry back to Sayville. It had been hard saying goodbye to Elena, who had left the island the week before. She was planning on applying to law school, and wanted to get settled in a recovery program near where she lived in Manhattan. Cleigh went with her for support. Elena had finally told Dory of her HIV status. Though Dory was distraught, she confessed she had suspected as much, and was already preparing to join Elena’s fight for improving women’s access to experimental HIV medications. Elena told Joe she didn’t know whether she and Cleigh would end up in a relationship after she got a year sober. But then, in her very next breath, she repeated what Dory always told her: “If you’re doing life right, you should allow it to surprise you.”

“It looks like the exodus from gay Saigon!” Lenny shouted, trudging toward Joe, carrying a picnic basket big enough for ten. “I brought some snacks for your road trip!”

“Holy heck!” Joe gave a teasing weightlifter’s grunt as he lifted the basket. “You do know they serve food on the plane to Honolulu, right?”

“Airplane food is garbage,” Lenny snarled. “You’ll also need to keep your figure in Waikiki if you wanna make good tips. This oughta hold you for the first two days at least. I included some cured meats that should last at least until you locate a good Italian deli.”

Joe swallowed the emotional lump clogging his throat. “Thanks, Lenny.”

“Basta!” Lenny took a deep tremulous breath. “Now don’t get me started. Where’s Fergal?”

“I’m meeting him on the ferry. He wanted to work this last crossing with the—”

“Hey! Hey!” Howie shouted, trotting across the dock, dressed in his bathrobe and baseball cap. Not far behind followed Vince, Dory, and Ronnie. Instead of his usual jock outfit, Ronnie wore a loose-fitting, tie-dyed hippie shirt with a beaded and feathered necklace.

“Sorry, we’re late,” Dory said, catching her breath. “These lovely gentlemen had to help me with a last-minute errand.”

“Lenny!” Howie pointed at the picnic basket. “You told me you were gonna just pack a couple of sandwiches.”

“They’re flying all the way to the other side of the world. You want they should eat each other? And not in the good way?”

Dory kissed Joe on the cheek. “Thank you for what you did for our bar. You are a wonderful bartender and will be a marvelous doctor one day.” She slipped a fat envelope into his hand. “This will get you started in Honolulu. I’m also setting up a tuition fund for both of you.”

“Oh, Dory, no,” Joe said. “We can’t—”

“You don’t want to offend her,” Howie warned with a raised eyebrow. “Just take it.”

Joe stuck the envelope in his duffel and hugged Dory very tight. She slid her hand atop his head, looked deeply into his eyes, and blessed him.

“Now I need to get back to the house,” she said. “Elena is calling me at five from her new place, and I don’t want to miss the call.” She turned to those who would be remaining. “Saint D’Norman and I shall see you three for the equinox ceremony on the twenty-second, yes?”

Howie and Lenny nodded their heads in that strange knowing way of theirs. Ronnie copied them awkwardly. Talk about life being surprising—Ronnie, the man who’d vowed never to be “one of those freaks who lived year-round on Fire Island,” was indeed planning to live year-round on Fire Island with Vince, a decidedly non-rich, non-famous boyfriend. Best of all, Ronnie appeared more content than Joe had ever seen him.

“You guys are gonna take care of my buddy Ronnie, right?”

“We’ll do our best,” Howie said, pulling Joe into his huge arms and hugging him so his face was crushed into the plush of the maroon bathrobe.

“I’m so, so glad you spent time with us,” Howie whispered over Joe’s head. “I have something for you too.” He fished into his fanny pack and pulled out Elliot’s mixtape Love Songs 1 , complete with case and cassette.

Joe momentarily couldn’t breathe. “You found it?”

“No,” Howie said. “I recreated it. We had every song in our collection already. I just followed Elliot’s beautiful handwritten list. You can share it with Fergal on the drive across.”

“Thanks, Howie.” Joe stared at the newly reconstructed mixtape in his hand. Saying goodbye to the others was hard enough. But saying goodbye to Howie without turning into a mess seemed impossible, so Joe just smiled and nodded.

“I need to tell you something.” Howie sniffled and lowered his voice. “It’s not always gonna be smooth sailing. You know that, right? Just remember that life goes fast. That doesn’t mean it’s not wonderful. So don’t waste too much time worrying about the ending. I’m not a mystic—that was Max’s job, and a little bit of Saint D’Norman’s. But like I once told you, not everyone who has you-know-what right now will die from it. I truly believe that. With your help we will triumph over the Great Darkness. ‘An army of lovers cannot fail.’ Ronnie knows what I’m talking about, don’t you?”

Ronnie smiled and held Vince’s hand tighter. The ferry horn blasted.

“Now you better not miss your boat,” Howie said. “That handsome ferryman of yours is ready to take you away.”

Joe pulled both Howie and Lenny into his arms and hugged them tightly. Their combined scent of leather, patchouli oil, and cleaning chemicals filled Joe’s nose and swirled around his heart. “Thanks for the mixtape,” he whispered. “Thanks for saving my ass, and thanks for …” He could say no more.

Howie wiped his own wet face on the sleeve of his bathrobe. Then he herded Lenny and Vince ten feet away to give Joe and Ronnie a moment to themselves. At first, the two best friends stood facing each other awkwardly.

“I can’t believe you’re staying, and I’m leaving,” Joe said.

“Can’t second-guess the Great Goddess Mother.” Ronnie winked.

“I also can’t believe you just said that.” Joe’s tear ducts unleashed. “I love you, my big brother.”

“I love you, my little brother. You’ll be thirty years old next time I see you.”

“At least.” Joe snuffled and smiled. After using his T-shirt hem like a handkerchief, he said, “And it’s only another twenty-nine years until my next Saturn Returns, so …”

The ferry blasted its horn again. The rush of other straggling passengers pushed past Joe and Ronnie, to avoid missing the soon-to-be-removed gangplank.

Joe picked up his duffel. “Maybe you can come visit us in Honolulu this winter when it’s quiet. Fergal will be in school full time, but I’ll just be taking organic chem, bartending, and studying for the MCATs, so I’ll have time to hang out.”

“I’d love to, but not this winter.” Ronnie cracked his knuckles nervously. “We got big plans for the new Asylum Harbor now that Scotty gave us a new deal on the space.”

“I still can’t believe he agreed to it,” Joe said, shaking his head.

“Yeah.” Ronnie nodded with a mysterious wink. “You never know what’ll change people’s minds. Anyway, it’s gonna be a lot more work being a co-owner and rebuilding, so I’ll need to stick pretty close for a bit.”

“Yeah, well, sometime, then,” Joe said.

“Yeah, for sure,” Ronnie answered, his voice growing froggy. “Do you remember everything I taught you about being a good gay?”

Joe laughed as they walked together slowly to the gate. “Of course,” he said.

“Good. Then forget it.” Ronnie’s lower lip quivered. “It was bullshit. But remember the stuff I taught you to about how to dress and work out. That advice was solid.”

They hugged like two straight boys after a game of touch football, which was both awkward and unsatisfying. While they knew they’d see each other again, they also were aware that this period of friendship neither would nor could ever be repeated.

“Hey, Joe!” Fergal called from the edge of the ferry door. “You coming or what? We got a Pan Am 747 waiting for us at JFK!”

Joe and Ronnie smiled sadly, then simultaneously threw their arms around each other—this time like the long-lost brothers they truly were. It was Ronnie who finally broke the embrace and wordlessly (for he couldn’t speak) shoved Joe through the gate.

“Goodbye, you feckin’ eejit!” Vince called out. “You best learn how to make a decent Blue Hawaiian! And don’t bring shame on the bartender who taught ya everything!”

“Don’t worry!” Joe slapped the side of his duffel bag. “I stole your Mr. Boston !”

Joe ran to Fergal, and without a second thought, they fell into a shameless passionate kiss. All who saw, passengers and crew members alike, broke out into cheers, as if they had been waiting for that moment all summer. Seconds later, the gangplank was pulled up, the moorings untied, the ferry door slid shut, and the engine revved.

As he watched the passengers on the upper deck wave to those left behind, Howie could already feel the pull of the impending autumn equinox. They had made it through another summer. Magic had happened, spells had been cast, love and progress toward the Great Balance achieved once more. The Great Goddess Mother had once again bestowed her blessings. They’d saved Joe’s life. He would go on to do great things.

As the ferry chugged its way past the hook, then into deeper water, it whisked the saltwater into a long, foamy trail, like some glorious Ziegfeld girl strutting across the Great South Bay.

What next summer would bring was really anyone’s guess.