Page 23 of Dirty Little Secrets

“ A re you sure you’re okay in there?” Kristina calls out.

I catch my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks are pink from scrubbing myself raw in the shower. My eyes swollen for crying in self-pity.

“Yeah,” I say, grabbing the hand towel to dry my mouth. “Must have been something I ate.”

I’ve brushed my teeth three times since I got to the apartment.

Threw up. When I looked at the dirty footprints on the beige tile by the rug, I didn’t realize I ran to the building on foot.

After Brent let me go, all I could think about was the loofah and a hot shower scrubbing away every trace of Brent from my body.

“Are you sure you want to go out?” she calls through the door. “It’s okay if you don’t. We could just watch Netflix or something.”

I dry my face, catching the desperation in my reflection.

I look like someone trying to outrun herself.

The last thing I want to do is stay inside.

What I need is escape. A night where I don’t feel like I’m drowning in my own skin.

A night where I don’t feel weak for letting Brent manipulate and use me.

I want to forget the way dread coils in my stomach whenever I imagine what he’ll do if I run.

When Kristina saw me run to the bathroom as soon, I walked in, she asked if I wanted to hang out tonight.

I nodded with my hand over my mouth holding back the contents of my stomach as I ran to the bathroom and shut the door puking my life in the toilet.

“I’m good. Give me a minute. I’ll be ready in fifteen.”

It’s Friday night, and in my obsession with hacking Drazen’s security system, I forgot Xaiden gave me the night off. That’s why he didn’t come back to the office.

“Good,” Kristina says. “Because I got a hookup to get us into Drazen’s restaurant tonight. It’s not a table, but we can dance and hang out at the bar.”

I’m not into drinking—obvious reasons being my mother—but tonight, I’ll make an exception.

The line to get inside the restaurant curls around the corner as we step out of the Uber. “Jesus.”

Her gaze follows the long line of people hoping to get a spot inside. “I know, right? It’s like this every night. You’d think they were waiting to meet a celebrity or something.”

We head to the VIP entrance, and I’m surprised to see Bash manning the door with an iPad in his hand. He looks up, face impassive.

“Side job?” I ask, trying to loosen him up. But Bash strikes me as the kind of man who was born without a smile. I’ve never seen one crack across his face, not even once.

He presses a finger to the mic in his ear. “Excuse me?”

“Standing out here—is it a side gig?”

It has to be. Xaiden didn’t have anything scheduled for the rest of the day.

He sighs and glances down at the iPad like my presence is a minor inconvenience. “I’m afraid there’s no time for side hustles in my profession, Ms. Summers.”

“Hey there, handsome,” Kristina waves. “Ronnie said he put me and Nori’s names down for tonight. Two for the bar and lounge.”

Wait...

“He’s here?” I ask before Bash can even scan the list.

“I’m surprised you aren’t aware—Mr. Drazen is on a date.”

My heart stutters like a car trying to start with no gas. “A date?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Oh. He didn’t mention it.”

“Obviously,” Bash deadpans.

Of course he’s on a date. She’s probably some fashion model with a gorgeous face and perfect body. And here I am, scrubbing off the last man who broke me like dirt under my fingernails.

“Good,” Kristina chimes. “The boss man’s here. Maybe he’ll get laid and be in a better mood come Monday morning.” She nods toward the iPad. “Can you find our names so we can drink and have fun? If your boss lets you off the leash, maybe you can join us.”

He huffs, scans the list, and nods to the suited man guarding the door, who steps aside to let us through.

Kristina taps Bash playfully on the bicep. “See you later, handsome.” She winks. “You know where to find me.”

“Let me guess—grinding on some guy your height, three drinks in.”

She sashays toward the door, making sure he sees every curve in her tight dress. Then she tosses a flirty glance over her shoulder. “Oh come now, Bash. You know I like them big.”

When we walk inside, I scan the restaurant but see no sign of Xaiden. He’s probably having an intimate dinner at one of the tables reserved for guests with actual bookings. I’m not sure why I bother looking. I came here to have fun—to forget about Brent. My past.

It’s pointless wanting a man who lives in a different world. I glance around the lavish restaurant and see the evidence of his wealth everywhere. He could have anyone he wanted. Why did I ever think, even for a second, that any of this could be real?

We’re lucky Kristina knows the guy working the bar and got us on the list. A man like Xaiden would never take me on a date. Especially not if he knew who I truly was.

“Hey, there he is.”

I look up quickly, like an idiot, expecting to see Xaiden. But it’s Kristina’s friend Ronnie, waving us over at the bar.

The deeper we walk into the restaurant, the dance floor comes into view.

Fish swim beneath the plexiglass under our feet, gliding like shadows as we step across.

The music is a slow pulse at first, echoing around us.

We reach the bar, and Kristina orders for both of us—something sweet.

She introduces me to Ronnie as her best friend, and for a moment, it feels like I’ve won a free pass from my fucked-up life.

Like I get to borrow hers, just for the night.

A life with no strings. No secrets. No fear.

We people-watch.

I push Xaiden from my thoughts. After my third Mai Tai, I pull out my phone and secretly open the app, declining any future interest with X.

I place my profile in stealth mode—a setting I learned about quickly.

It means you’re not actively seeking a match, but you still want to enjoy the club's perks whenever you choose.

I hate that it took liquid courage to finally do it. But it’s for the best.

I scan the dance floor before placing my empty glass on the bar top. Kristina is laughing at something Ronnie said when I grab her wrist and tug her toward the dance floor. The alcohol is fire in my veins. She stumbles a little but laughs again as I tighten my hold.

She raises her hands in the air, lacing her fingers through mine as we sway to Timeless by The Weeknd. I match her movements—slow, sensual. My limbs feel weightless. I lift my hair off my neck with one hand, letting the cool air kiss my heated skin as the song fades into Wicked Games .

People are grinding on each other all around us.

The music has taken over the room, beating in our bones.

Kristina plays along, grinding against my back in good fun, her hands sliding down my neck, lips moving to the lyrics, hiking up my mini skirt.

I giggle when I feel the cool air hit the bare skin of on the back of my thighs.

I wore a daring mini skirt and a top that crisscrosses over my back. I’m honestly surprised the sky-high heels I borrowed from her are still keeping me upright.

When the song ends, two guys walk up behind us and respectfully ask to dance.

We laugh when we realize they’re identical twins, and we agree as they spin into the beat of a Bad Bunny song.

The guy dancing with me is kind of cute under the shifting neon lights, colors swirling like a kaleidoscope.

Well, at least right now, I think he’s cute.

The club comes alive as the night deepens. Staff begin moving tables to make room for more guests to dance, clearing space as guests finish their meals. I catch a glimpse of Kristina dancing with a bright smile on her face. The twin behind her laughs at something she says.

Firm hands slide around my waist, and I feel the heat of his brother behind me. I think he said his name was Julian. I move with him, our rhythm syncing effortlessly. The crowd thickens around us. Couples dance close, some grinding, others wrapped in full-on PDA.

With every sway of my hips, Julian presses in a little closer. Then a little closer. Eventually, I stop, out of breath. He smiles at me.

“I’ll be right back,” he says, and slips away toward the bar.

The lights blur together into a sky of swirling color. I can feel the bass pounding in my chest. The stature of the mermaid above the crowd like a were in a temple.

My thighs are slick with sweat from dancing, my body humming with the rhythm. For the first time in a long time, I feel free. One with the beat. A purge of my mistakes from the people I’ve allowed to use me as they see fit.