Page 26 of Dirty Coach To Go

“Shh, it’s okay,” he says, but it’s not okay. I have to pack my bags so that I can leave for what’s going to seem like forever. It isn’t fair that I have to be away from him for so long. I should be able to stay with the man that I love and not be forced to go off and work toward a career I don’t even want. He kisses the top of my head as he gently strokes my back with his hand.

I wipe away my tears and try to pull myself together. I have to sneak back into my house before my mom and dad wake up, so I can’t sit out here wallowing in my sorrow.

“I need one last kiss,” I say. Mason places his hand under my chin and leans in for our final smooch. He sends those butterflies fluttering through my stomach as always. The goodbye kiss causes another stream of tears to run down my cheeks, making it even harder to get out of his truck. “I don’t want to leave,” I confess.

“It’ll only be for a little while, and we’ll talk every day on the phone. It won’t be so bad. You’ll see,” he says. I whimper as I attempt to believe him. He dries my eyes, and I stare into his one last time. They pierce right through my heart.

It’s one simple word, but I can’t get it out. It’s stuck on the tip of my tongue, trapped inside of my mouth. The sun is hanging high in the sky, and my parents could wake up and check my room any minute now. I have to get it out, whether I want to or not. Somehow, I muster up the strength to say it.

“Goodbye,” I say with my tears still streaming. He takes a deep breath, and his ice blue eyes melt into puddles. He manages to keep the drops from falling, though, staying strong for the both of us.

“Goodbye, Tessa,” his bass voice breaks. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” The words flow right out of my mouth. I sigh heavily as I open the car door and hop down from his truck. I wipe at my tears and quickly walk up the street to my house. I have to get into bed and pretend like I slept in it last night. I got away with sneaking around all summer, so I can’t get caught now. I jog up the front porch steps and take one last look back at Mason. He watches from his truck as I creep through the door and then softly close it shut behind me.

I tiptoe up the stairs to my bedroom, trying not to make a sound. My parents’ room is as silent as a grave. I sneak past their door and dip into my sleeping quarters. I crawl into my bed and lie there in a somber state, wishing there was an answer to all of my problems. I should be packing, but I can’t move. I can barely breathe, not without Mason. My heart is in pain, and it feels like it’s about to burst.

“Good morning, sweetie,” my mom says as she softly knocks on my bedroom door. “Ready to head back to school?” The answer is absolutely not, but I can’t tell her that. She looks around the room in disappointment. “Oh, Tessa. You haven’t even packed yet.”

“I’m working on it, Mom,” I say, still lying in bed hopelessly. Like the mama bird that she is, she swoops down to save her baby nestling. She curls up next to me and strokes my hair.

“Honey, what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you look so down,” she asks. Her comforting touch urges me to be vulnerable with her. She’s my mother, so I should be able to open up to her.

“I’m not sure about going back to Trinity,” I admit.

“What do you mean? I thought you loved it there?” She seems completely puzzled.

“It’s not what I want anymore.” In all reality, it was never whatIwanted. Accounting is my mom and dad’s dream for me, but I never desired a life full of financial records.

“Don’t you want a good career that pays well? Your daddy and I always dreamed of you becoming this big shot successful woman who lives in New York City, like the ones you see on TV. You have the potential to be great, Tessa. You don’t want to throw it all away, do you?”

I don’t care about some fancy career and lavish lifestyle in the Big Apple. I’m a small-town girl in love with a man who lives miles away from the bustling streets of Manhattan. I wish she knew that, but I can’t tell her everything right now. If I did, she would probably think Mason is the only reason why I want to stay in Sunnyside, but the truth is, I never wanted to leave home in the first place. If she knew how much I hated my freshman year, maybe she would think twice about sending me back.

“Mom, I can be successful doing something else. You and Daddy do just fine at the plant store. I don’t have to join Wall Street just to make an honest living,” I say.

“We want better for you. Yeah, business is booming, but it took a lot to get there. I don’t want to see you struggle the way we did when your daddy first opened the shop. You need a promising career. After all, isn’t that what you want?”

I want to stay here in my hometown with Mason and marry him someday, maybe even have a bunch of his babies. And I want to open a pastry shop that all of the Sunnyside patrons rush to when they’re itching for a sugary treat. That’s all I really want, but that answer might drive my mom berserk, so I nod at the loving woman and pretend to agree with her.

“Good,” she says as she lifts my torso. “Now, let’s pack.” I reluctantly roll out of bed as she begins to fold and toss articles of clothing into a suitcase.

It looks like I’m going back to New York City, whether I want to or not. I pack up all of my things and check to make sure I haven’t left anything important behind. Then it hits me that I’m leaving the most important person in my life here in Sunnyside. Daddy tosses my suitcase into the back of mom’s car, and it takes everything in me to not burst out into tears. There’s a lump in my throat as I climb into the passenger seat. If I break down crying, I’ll have to tell my parentseverything, and I can’t do that, so I stifle my emotions. I choke back my tears and hold my head up high. As Mom pulls out of the driveway, I cling onto Mason’s words for dear life.

20

Tessa

Isink further into the wooden desk I’ve been sulking in for the last hour and a half. Time is dragging, and I feel like this class is never going to end. My mind drifts as thoughts of Mason drown out my professor’s never-ending drone. I’ve been back in school now for two weeks, but I can’t seem to focus one bit. I feel lost wandering around the familiar campus. Nothing makes sense anymore, and I spend most of my time in bed crying over Mason. We talk on the phone every day, but I miss seeing his face and falling asleep in his arms. The last two weeks have been so torturous that I’m not sure I can make it through twosemesters. I feel like I’m losing my mind without him.

All of my classes this semester are accounting courses, and I hate every last one of them. God, I wish I had the nerve to tell Mom and Dad that I don’t want to be here. I’d rather be at home with them and my friends, but most of all with Mason. I miss the forehead kisses he showered me with all summer long, and I miss the way my alpha male would seize me in his arms and clench me to his chest as I felt his love radiating from his body. Now, my nights are spent alone on a cold, stiff mattress. I dream about him every night, and when I wake up, a wave of grief crashes into me once I realize he’s miles away.

My mind is even starting to play tricks on me. I swore I saw him a few days ago inside of the neighborhood deli buying groceries, but my heart was stricken when I ran up to the man with my arms wide open and discovered that it wasn’t my beloved Mason. I felt horrible, and when I got back to my dorm room, I curled up into a ball on my bed and cried my eyes out. I miss him so much; I just wish I could look into those oceanic eyes again and swim in his love.

Students dash out of the classroom, alerting me that the professor has wrapped up her lesson. I take my time gathering my belongings and drag my feet out the door. My head hangs low as I walk along the campus trail. The sun is shining brightly in the sky, but I feel like a rain cloud is following me around. I just want to hurry up and get inside my dorm room so that I can lie around in bed for the rest of the day.

I know I should try to cheer up, but nothing makes me happy anymore. My happiness is all the way in Sunnyside, two and a half hours away from here. My feet scuffle against the concrete as I brush past members of the student body. I haven’t made a single effort to make any friends this semester, nor have I gone to any frat parties with beer kegs. All I want to do is be alone and away from any college age boys who think they might stand a chance with me. There’s only one man my heart desires, and that man is Mason.

“Tessa,” a familiar voice calls out to me, sending chills down my spine. I recognize that baritone voice immediately; it belongs to the man I love. Is my mind playing tricks on me again? I quickly turn in the direction the voice came from and find the most handsome man in the world standing in front of me. A haggard Mason lingers on the sidewalk with a bouquet of pink tulips in his hand. His chiseled chin is covered in a rugged beard, and he looks like he hasn’t slept for days, but the man is still absolutely gorgeous. My heart races as I pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. A smile takes over my face once I realize I’m wide awake. I charge toward the drained-looking man and jump into his arms. He hoists me into the air without batting an eye. God, it feels so good to be in his arms again.