Page 28 of Diners, Damsels & Wolves

Twenty Eight

Thomas

“ H ere’s your breakfast.” An orderly set a tray on the table in front of Clarissa’s hospital bed.

She didn’t move to open it. Tom leaned over and pulled the lid off—scrambled eggs, sausage, hash brown cakes, with a side of Jell-O.

“You should eat,” he said, staring at the tray. His heart couldn’t take looking at her battered face, or the swollen arm braced and propped up on a pile of pillows. It made him hurt every time.

“I’m not hungry,” she said.

He fell back in his chair with a defeated huff. These were the first words she’d spoken to him.

“I have some questions,” she said.

“Of course.”

“I … I don’t even know where to start.” She was quiet for a long time. He thought she’d gone back to sleep. “You. I mean, your family … you’re not a mob boss?”

His jaw dropped. Her pale face flushed as her good hand picked at the hem of her blanket.

“At the picnic, everyone kept calling you ‘boss’ and then …” She sniffled. “And then there were other ‘bosses of the family’ that were coming to pay their respects to you. I thought, I mean, it was the only thing that made sense at the time.”

“When you told me you didn’t feel safe at the picnic …” he trailed off.

She nodded.

“Most of the people in my family are marshmallows,” he said, shell-shocked.

“I … I don’t know why that’s the conclusion I came to. I just, that’s, I didn’t know what to think and I was scared and felt betrayed. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Clarissa, you have nothing to apologize for.” Taking her hand, he kissed her knuckles. “I should have asked you more questions. I should have told you the truth sooner.”

“You’re not in the mafia.” She sniffled.

“No, I’m not.” He laughed.

“You’re a werewolf,” she said.

He stopped laughing.

“I saw you turn into a, well, it sort of looked like a wolf. And then you were there that night, and it was a full moon. You attacked the men who took me.”

“Yes, I was there, but I’m not a werewolf. I’m a shape shifter. While both can change shape into a wolf, weres are very rare, and they have no control over the change or themselves when they phase. Shifters learn control of their inner animals and maintain their consciousness after the phase. I’m still me when I do it. Not a werewolf.”

“A shape shifter?” she asked. “When you looked at me on the lawn, your eyes weren’t yours anymore. They were yellow, like when Alister attacked me in the parking lot.”

“Alister?”

“The blonde man from The Barrel parking lot. When he attacked me, his eyes turned yellow, and then you had the same eyes.”

“Let me get this straight,” he said. “You weren’t afraid of me shifting into a giant wolfman, you were afraid because my eyes changed?”

“I was scared you weren’t you anymore.”

She whimpered and Tom kissed her hand. “I’m still me when my wolf comes out.”

“You didn’t look like a wolf though. How does that work? Are there other animals? I thought I saw an oversized bobcat.”

“We shift into larger, humanoid versions of our animals. I can walk on my back legs and my front paws are dexterous, more like hands. And you did see an oversized bobcat. That was the shifter pack from Louisiana.”

Opening her mouth to ask more, he cut her off. “Tell you what. I’ll answer all of your questions if you eat.”

She picked at her food, fork clumsy in her left hand. He took it from her. Lifting her plate, he brought a fork full of eggs to her lips.

“Eat and I’ll answer your questions,” he said.

She took the eggs and chewed.

“You’re Alpha,” she said.

“That’s not a question, and I’m not a fan of that term.”

“Okay, why don’t you like being called Alpha?” She took the second bite.

“A lot of Alphas are buried in traditions. Traditions that aren’t very nice. They also have a superiority complex and treat those around them like commodities or tools rather than individuals. They’re bullies, not leaders.”

“If that’s how you feel, why are you Alpha?” she asked.

“I didn’t really have a choice. My dad was Alpha, and his dad was before him. It’s a lineage thing. When my dad retired … Well, he was injured and became paralyzed. He can still shift but can’t walk or fight, so he stepped down.

“It came to me or one of my siblings. Maria was a newlywed and wanted kids; James hates Fairville and had moved to Kansas City before the accident. I’m the oldest anyways, so it fell to me,” he said.

“I see,” she said. “You still don’t like being Alpha though, do you?”

“The job comes with a certain level of responsibility and expectations, and zero privacy. I have rules on how I’m supposed to act, who I’m supposed to mate, who I’m not. It’s hard not to feel bitter when your life isn’t your own anymore. I never wanted this, everyone looking up to me, expecting me to have the answers.”

“Isn’t there anything that makes it better?”

A smile tugged at his lips. “A few things, since I met a certain waitress. She made me feel like me again. Taught me that I’m allowed some happiness for myself while taking care of my family.”

She blushed.

“What’s the best part of your job?” she asked.

He snorted, giving her a spoonful of Jell-O. “All shifters have sharp senses and extra strength, but an Alpha’s are even sharper and stronger, and our wolves are bigger.”

“Sharper sense?”

“I could smell your perfume in the woods. Peonies. And I can see in the dark, and much further than humans.”

“That’s how you found my keys, in the dark parking lot!”

He nodded. “And I can hear through walls.”

“What?” she asked.

“I heard you call yourself a slut in your car that morning after I stayed over.”

“Oh my God. You heard that?”

“Unfortunately.” He frowned.

She ate two more forkfuls of food.

“Are you done asking questions?” he asked.

“Not even close.” Taking a deep breath, she fixed him with a stare. “What happened? Who were those men? Why did they take me?”

“That’s a long story.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Starting with the differences between bears and shifters, he delved in, not sparing her any of the unsavory details about his grandfather and the history of the Sinclaire pack. If she was deciding whether or not to trust him, she needed every detail unfiltered. She deserved at least that much from him. Finally, he ended with the witch trying to undo the memory spell on Rachel. To clear his entire conscience in one go, he also told her about paying off her car and reiterated that he hired the nurses for Rachel.

When he finished, she was silent for a long time. Her eyes were hard. He braced himself for her rejection—again. But it never came. To his horror, her hazelnut eyes welled with tears, and her lower lips started to tremble.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked.

“I-I-I.” She blubbered between sobs. “No, don’t leave me again.”

He wanted to point out the reason he’d left her was because she asked him to, but he was too happy to talk.

“First.” She glared at him. “No more secrets. Do you understand me? I get why you didn’t tell me about the wolf thing, but that ends now .”

“I’d have to keep seeing you for that to be relevant.”

“And why wouldn’t you do that?”

He blinked at her. “You can’t mean … After everything I put you through?”

“Put me through? You’ve done so much for me.” Her voice broke. “And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. I never meant to—”

Moving to the edge of her bed, he cupped the less swollen side of her face. “What did I tell you about apologizing for things that aren’t your fault?”

“I’m sorry. You went through all of that for me and I never even asked. I broke up with you when it was the last thing I wanted to do. Can you ever forgive me?”

The question threw him off guard. He was prepared for her fear, scorn, even disgust, but he’d never expected remorse. What did she possibly have to apologize to him for? He was the one endangering her.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” He brushed away her tears. “I was endangering you by not telling you the truth. And never, never think you need to ask me to protect you. My wolf is naturally very defensive of the people close to my heart. I’ll always be there for you. You’re mine to protect, Clarissa. That is, if you still want me.”

“Stop trying to break up with me!”

“Clarissa.” He hung his head, unable to meet her eyes. “You don’t understand, my hands are stained. Filthy with blood.”

“Whose blood?” she challenged. “Because I highly doubt those men were saints before they strolled into Fairville. I doubt I was the first one they came across in a dark parking lot, and I know I wasn’t going to be the last. You stopped that.”

He nodded. What the hell else was he supposed to do?

“Don’t understand,” she scoffed. “I was the one they attacked and held hostage, so don’t you tell me I don’t understand.”

Daring to gaze up at her, he swallowed around the lump in his throat. Her chin was set, her eyes hard. She meant every word. They stared at each other for a long time before he realized she was waiting for him to respond.

“You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry I said that, but it doesn’t change the way I feel. Seeing you there in the woods, here in the hospital, all of this is because of my world.”

“Well, I’m a part of it now, so we’ll just have to figure it out so it doesn’t happen again.”

The blood drained from his face. What the hell was he going to do with this woman?

“And Rachel.” The fight left her eyes, her body started to tremble as she gulped for breath. “Rachel, she’s not, she’s really not sick? I’m going to get her back?”

“It’s possible.” He didn’t want to lie to her, but she was so frazzled, he was worried a lengthy explanation would make it worse.

“Rachel,” she whispered. “I’ve missed her so much. I always … I wondered, her diagnosis never seemed right. Oh Rachel, she’s lost so much of her life.”

“I know, I’m sorry about that.”

She looked at him questioningly.

“My grandfather’s legacy, my legacy, embodies everything I despise about Alphas. He did this to her, my family did this to her, to you . My father tried to be better, and I’m trying to be better than him, but I missed this most horrible stain. I will do everything I can to fix this.”

She brushed her fingers against his face, smoothing the creases and furrows of worry. He felt ashamed that he’d enjoyed it; he was unworthy of her touch.

“Thomas, you are not your grandfather.” Her words were simple, her eyes full of conviction. His heart shattered. She saw him, the whole him, and she meant what she was saying. “I think your heroism these past few weeks has proven that. You know, in the cabin, I was awake for all of it. Even though I couldn’t see everything, I remember feeling it all,” she said. “I remember hearing it. I remember you being there.

“I was so relieved. I thought I was never going to see you again, to get a chance to tell you the truth. I wasn’t afraid of or disgusted by you.

“Under the pain, that’s all I could think about, that I’d never get to see you again to tell you the truth.” She broke into sobs. “I remember what you said to me when it was over. What you called me. I lo—I love you, Thomas. I never want you to leave me again.”

She was hiccupping so hard she could barely get the words out.

“Shhh, Clarissa, it’s okay.” He wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face in his chest. He never wanted to let her go.

His heart sang for the joy of it, the realization all his worries had been fruitless. She wanted him the same way he wanted her. She knew the truth, and still she leaned into his embrace, her tears soaking into his shirt.

“You know, I always wanted a dog.” She sobbed. “Rachel told me we couldn’t get one because we weren’t home enough.” Sob. “Do you—” Sob. “Do you still want to go to the art gallery?”

Leaning back, he took her face in his hands as gently as he could and kissed her.

“Let’s wait and see how long you need to be in the hospital first, my love,” he murmured, before kissing her again.