Page 102 of Diluted Truths

“Stop being understanding.”

“Okay.”

I glared at him again, only to get a laugh in response again. “Look, Jack, you’re stuck here whether you like it or not. Just relax. The door will open when it’s time.”

He had said that many times. The problem was I had no idea what he meant and he had yet to offer any sort of explanation. I guess he was a part of my subconscious so he couldn’t know more than I did.

It was still annoying.

I turned and slipped down the closed door and sat on the ground. I looked at my brother. He looked so real. My mind had even aged him. He was only twenty-five when he died, barely an adult. Here, he looked like a man. He would have been thirty-one years old.

“If you didn’t have to raise Theo and I, what would you have done?” I asked.

He seemed to ponder the thought for a moment. “Honestly, I don’t know. You two were my world and my top priority.”

“You were only eighteen. You didn’t get to be a young adult. Hell, you were basically a father to a fourteen and sixteen year old. You missed out on so much.” I felt guilty about it. Every year I had without him I would ponder on just how much he sacrificed for me. He never went to parties, didn’t go to traditional college, didn’t even have friends. There was one summer he interned for the Army, but that was it.

He came and sat next to me on the floor. He even smelled familiar, like dust after rain. I rested my head on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t change a thing. Yeah, there were things I missed out on, but life with you and Theo made up for it every single day.”

“Remember when my senior math teacher thought you were my dad and was so confused how you had me so young?”

I felt him chuckle. “It didn’t help that neither of us corrected him and you started calling me ‘dad’ to further throw him off.”

He was right. I had never been the best at math, despite the many late night tutoring sessions I had with Nate, who had degrees in physics and applied mathematics. Nate would talk to that teacher often, fighting to give me more chances at retaking tests and redoing assignments. He was my greatest supporter. My teacher did think he was my dad and would always try and figure out just how old Nate was.

“We had some good times,” I whispered. “I wish you were still here.”

He sighed. “I do too, Jack, trust me.” He paused for a moment before continuing, “I’m proud of you.”

“Why?” I asked while turning to face him.

“You stopped blaming yourself for my accident,” he smiled sadly. “You also stood up to mom and dad. That took real guts.”

I chuckled at him. “I did. You should have seen their faces. They were shocked.”

He laughed alongside me. “I can imagine it.”

“Why did they hate us more than Kai and Theo?”

“I tried to figure that one out for a while,” he began. “I thought for a while it was my fault. That I wasn’t good enough for them, and honestly in their mind I wasn’t. I was never as well-behaved as either of those two. I rebelled, I fought back. So did you. I think that’s why. We were the rebels.”

Wanting to break the tension, I joked, “I thought maybe it was the blonde hair.”

This made him laugh hard. He really had the best laugh. God, I missed him.

Missing for Three Days

“Did you like men?”

I watched as Nate sputtered on his cup of water. I couldn’t remember where he had gotten it. Hmm, I had one too.Weird.

“Where did that come from?”

I shrugged. “Just trying to pass the time. Plus you never dated any women so I thought… maybe?”

“I’m sorry I was busy raising two teenagers and didn’t have time to date,” he muttered in response.

“That wasn’t an answer,” I sing-songed in response while kicking my legs under the table. I was too short for the two chairs.