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CHAPTER TWO

PYRAH

I can’t stop shaking since Scaldric came for us. No, not us— me .

Because of him, you will bleed.

Was he telling the truth? My mother never told me anything about this, but she barely told me anything about my body.

I knew only the vaguest of details about my first heat, which is a secret shame among dragon shifters.

My mother and I lived alone, out in the wilderness, which meant I had no other female dragons to ask about my journey into womanhood.

Rook believes that I’m strong, but he doesn’t understand how sheltered and alone I have been all my life. I wasn’t quite sixteen when my mother was killed by dragonslayers. After she died, I had no friends or allies in this world until I met him.

“Was Scaldric telling the truth?” I ask, with a bitter taste on my tongue. “We all know I’m not in heat any longer. Will I start bleeding and lose the power to shift into a dragon?”

Rook tilts his head. “I don’t know enough about female dragon shifters. But many females do have monthly bleeding.”

“Monthly?” My mouth opens with horror. “How do they survive?”

“They manage.”

I twist my face into a grimace. “That sounds awful.”

Hot shame creeps through my face. Blood has never scared me before. Other women in this kingdom have been surviving their cycles every month, while I'm afraid of what might be a yearly occurrence.

If Scaldric is telling the truth.

Has he ever lied to me before? He was blunt about his intentions when he claimed me as his mate, though he never told me about our planned wedding, or that my wedding dress was embroidered with cursed aellurium to force my obedience to him.

Lies by omission, then.

How can I be strong, when I have such little control over my life? I have never been able to stop my enemies from hunting me down.

Not dragonslayers.

Not even Scaldric.

I'm lost in thought until Rook's voice grounds me again. “Pyrah, talk to me. I'm here for you.”

I glance into his eyes, which glow even in the daylight. “Why would Scaldric lie about this?”

His jaw hardens as he ponders my question. “I suspect that he speaks the truth. I have heard of something akin to this before. Dragonslayers study the vulnerabilities of dragon shifters, and their lore claims that a female dragon loses the power to shift during pregnancy.”

Shame creeps into my face, that old familiar feeling. “They do?”

“Your mother didn’t tell you?”

“No, but it doesn't matter. We both know I can't be pregnant.” My stomach twists into a knot the moment I say it, because his eyes sharpen with sorrow. “That would be impossible, wouldn't it?”

“It would,” he says.

A tiny, secret part of me hopes that he's wrong. When I went into heat for the first time, it was always deeper than simply lust—for a female dragon, going into heat is a primal urge to breed.

I want his baby.

The secret thought whispers through my mind, unspoken. I can't even blame it on being in heat any longer. It's not something I can admit out loud, since it would only hurt him more than I already have.

“Forgive me for asking,” Rook says, “but what about your father?”

His words catch my attention. “What do you mean?”

“You were alone in your cave when I found you.”

Alone . That fails to capture how I endured years of solitude. “I never knew my father,” I admit. “My parents were…unmated.”

“I'm sorry,” Rook says, though there’s no judgment in his voice. “That must have been difficult.”

I twist my mouth wryly. “More difficult than being the demonic, bastard son of the late king?”

He grunts. “My family was fucked up in its own unique way.”

“At least you met your father. I don’t even know my father’s name. I don’t know anything about him, just that he was a blue dragon.”

“Was he a seadrake?”

“Yes, though I'm surprised you even know the word.”

He lifts his shoulders in a shrug. “As a monster hunter, I make it my business to understand the monsters of these kingdoms.”

“Not many in Chymeria do. They believe that all dragons are alike, and don’t care what we call ourselves.” I hesitate, my mind straying to darker thoughts. “My father could be dead or alive, and I wouldn’t know either way. He might not even know that he has a daughter. My parents were never mates.”

“That surprises me. You told me yourself that dragons can be traditional about mating.”

“You’re not wrong.” I braid my hair to distract myself from the lump of emotion lodged in my throat.

“My mother taught me that my virginity was a precious thing to be guarded and saved for my future mate. She must have been ashamed that I was born out of wedlock, and that we had no male to protect us or our territory.”

Rook tilts his head. “Your mother must have been…lonely.”

Heat scorches my cheeks before climbing into my ears. I’m sure that my face has turned scarlet. “What are you implying?” I ask, though I know damn well what he must mean.

“After entering their first heat, all female dragon shifters go into heat every year thereafter.” He arches his eyebrows, keeping any emotion from his face. “Am I correct?”

I grimace. “Yes.”

“How did your mother deal with such matters?”

Deal with such matters . That’s such a polite way of phrasing it, but to be honest, I never thought of my mother's needs before. Perhaps I have grown up more sheltered and na?ve than I ever imagined.

“I don’t know. Even at sixteen, I was hopelessly innocent.” Slowly, my eyes open wider as realization dawns on me. “I never questioned why my mother sometimes went on long hunting trips alone.”

“Long, yearly hunting trips?”

“You’re right.” I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands. “She must have hidden everything from me.” A bleak laugh escapes from me. “At least she never came back pregnant. I don't know what I would have done with a little brother or sister.”

“Could she have been visiting your father?”

“No.” I shake my head, refusing to believe such a thing. “I don’t even know if my father is still alive. Why wouldn’t she bring him back home? Why wouldn’t she tell him about me?”

“We may never know. Not unless we find him.”

Hope darts through me like a vivid bird in a dark forest—it’s here and then gone again within seconds. “The Frostslayer clan dwells to the far north, several kingdoms away. I have never traveled there, nor to the ancestral homeland of the Darkdelver clan, my mother’s family.”

“Darkdelver,” Rook repeats. “One of the firedraken clans?”

I touch my fiery hair, a shade closest to crimson. “Was it obvious? I'm a red dragon, after all.”

“I wondered where you inherited such beauty.” He gazes at me with his lips slightly parted, as if in awe of me. “Dragon clans are matrilineal. When you claimed me as your mate, did I join the Darkdelver clan?”

“No, only our children would be born into it.” The moment the words leave my lips, I regret them. I can’t confess to imagining the impossible. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

He gazes into my eyes for a long moment. “Is that what you want?”

Remembered words echo through my mind. I would never believe you are unworthy for not being able to father a child. I meant what I told him before, and it seems cruel to reveal my secret hopes.

I take one of his hands between mine. My fingertips trace one of his older scars, a twisting ribbon of silver that cuts across his wrist. “Rook, I want everything you can give me.”

“I can’t give you everything.”

“I know.” My eyes prickle with tears. “I know you can't.”

“Pyrah.” He speaks my name gruffly, and I can tell that he's burying his emotions deep. “We shouldn't linger much longer in Hexfall.” He glances between the trees at the sky, his stance guarded.

“Where should we go?”

“Do you want me to fight Scaldric for you?”

“No.” My stomach lurches. “Please, don’t.”

“Then you leave me with no choice.” He exhales hard, his breath clouding the cold air. “While Scaldric still darkens the skies above your territory, I must find a place for you to hide.”