Page 19

CHAPTER 19

REDLEY

“On the right about twenty feet up,” I tell Porter. Once again, my hands shake, but I’ve got the dark to cover up my emotions this time.

He slows to a crawl in his effort not to miss it, but the driveway is even more overgrown than I realized. Headlights outline the cutout that used to be a clear path, and my heart tightens at the overgrowth. Porter pulls along the edge of the drive, getting as far off the road as he can without getting stuck. He doesn’t need to worry about the safety of his cruiser despite the low visibility. No one else lives farther up. The mountains like to hang onto the fog, and thick puffs of it swell around us.

“I’ve got flashlights. We can walk the rest of the way,” he tells me as he clicks his seat belt and gets out of the car. The cab lights when he opens the door.

Saplings have more than sprouted, reaching a few feet tall. Grass and weeds grow with the new season, filling out the spaces in the craggy rock. I can’t see all that far up without any sunlight, but it seems to get denser the farther you go.

“It’s about a mile,” I warn as I step out into the night. “The terrain is rough, and God knows when it was cleared last.”

I checked on the place once when I moved back to town, but I don’t like to think about my first day back often, and I didn't go inside the house. The reality of all the time passing aches like an infected wound, and the night mercifully keeps the full reality from me. My daddy built this house for my mama with his own hands from the logs he felled, just like Pop did for Granny, and here it is rotting away to nothing.

“We can make do,” he insists.

“I’m sure I can, but…” My voice trails off, giving him a clear picture of how I view his abilities.

He turns back around and points his flashlight at me. “Are you trying to say something about my physical fitness, Miss Little?”

“I wouldn’t dare, Deputy.”

He gives me a charming smile. Since the Wolf made me his offer four years ago, I’ve truly believed I’m destined to be alone. Now he’s trying to force me to choose him again. Porter has given me an alternative to consider. Whether or not he’s serious, his words still roll around in my head.

“You want me to take a police report, don’t you?” He lifts an eyebrow.

“Of course I do.”

“Then get moving.” He claps twice. He’s not being a dick, just joking around.

He’s already proven he’s a decent enough man by making the trip out here. Most people wouldn’t and haven’t. That ring from Wolf has been weighing a million pounds on my soul since he gave it to me, but what if I tossed it for the deputy’s proposal? My thoughts are dangerous, but I’m addicted to the idea of not being alone ever since Wolf put it in my damn head. Maybe I don’t need love at all, just help.

I walk around the back of the cruiser to meet him, and he hands me a flashlight. “Here,” he says as I take it.

“After you.” I wave for him to lead the way.

“It’s your house,” he argues.

“You’re the big strong man, aren’t you? What if there’s a bear or something?”

I’m mostly messing with him, given the story about the Murphy kid. If there’s a bear, we’re going to play dead and pray. It doesn’t matter who’s standing in front of who.

“Uh, of course, Miss Little. I’ll lead the way.” He puffs his chest as he walks ahead of me, not quite catching the joke.

“My hero.” And I don’t even say it with sarcasm. There’s something so refreshing about good intentions, whether he can follow through on them or not, whether he also wants a little land and ass in the process. Maybe he’s not a saint, but he’s not heartless.

My optimism gives in to a deep nervousness. Is there a chance in hell this man can help me? He seems good-natured enough, the first person with a conscience I’ve come across, but he was scared of Granny’s bloodstain. I can’t imagine he’s actually got the stomach for this fight.

The Wolf tears people to pieces for fun. Porter couldn’t stand on a bloodstain.

I aim the flashlight high to widen the light beam, and he looks over his shoulder to give me an appreciative nod. Aside from enjoying scaring him, I’m glad to hide my expression as we walk backward in time to the life the Wolf stole from me. Granny was as mean as they came, but my mama? She was kind; she loved me. My daddy wanted to do better than his parents did. He wasn’t perfect, but he tried. And my brother?

I swallow hard just thinking of Corey. He was my best friend, the only person who got me and my sense of humor, who stuck up for me when the other kids on the mountain thought I was weird. God, the way I miss them only gets worse with time instead of better. And I do truly hate the Wolf for taking them from me.

“You weren’t kidding,” Porter says when we’re about halfway.

He puts a finger through a hole in his shirt. I’m not partial to the clothes I’m wearing, so I’m not upset, but I’ll certainly be patching holes tomorrow.

“I can fix that for you, Porter. Will only take me a minute back at my cabin.”

I shouldn’t offer to take the man’s clothes off, but it only seems right, given I’m able to fix it, and he ripped it while helping me.

“That’s awfully kind of you, Miss Little,” he agrees with a smile in his voice.

I’m panting by the time the trees break, and we’re standing in the clearing near the house. This landscape isn’t forgiving, and it’s all too happy to reclaim what you’ve left untouched. Bushwhacking in the dark is no simple task.

The wraparound porch groans as we approach the front door. It takes me a minute of searching to find the hidey-hole drilled in the side of the cabin, but my finger slips inside eventually. I flash some light in there to check for spiders when I feel the mound of silk. Thick webs fill it, but there aren’t any living residents. I pull out a bunch of nasty stuff and one key. When I try it in the lock, it doesn’t fit well, and the door sticks like hell.

“Allow me, Miss Little,” he says before attempting a good hard shove.

It pops open under his weight and easily swings the rest of the way. I hold my breath as we step inside my family home. I leave the door hanging wide open to let the fresh air in. The room is heavy with dust and mildew, and the items inside are moldering with time and neglect.

“Not so impressive anymore, is it?” I ask, referring to the state of the two houses I own.

“I don’t think this makes what you have less impressive,” he says as we step inside. “I’ve never seen a view like yours, and the sunset before I got all the way to the top was unbelievable.”

Good thing there’s no basement, because the floorboards are rotting out beneath our feet. The couch slumps all the way to the floor, like someone flattened it, and my daddy’s recliner lies fully back, cushions sagging off. The smell is awful, and tears brim in my eyes as I realize just how much has been lost here, how much continues to go even now, and how little I can do about it because there’s only one me.

“It’s pretty,” I agree, not really believing a word.

Turning in a slow circle, I cast a beam of light on all the little details of our life that never moved but decomposed all the same, and finally, the first of the bloodstains. Chills cover my body and I’m sure there will be a new layer to my nightmares. There was a reason I didn’t come here. Three concentric circles, the pools where my family bled out and died.

“Is there a light?” he asks.

“Not sure if it still works, but there is one,” I answer, my voice sounding disconnected from my body.

Quite a few animals have been in here. Granny used to keep the house up before she passed, but I clearly haven’t followed the tradition. I find the light switch and flip it on. While the light is weak, the bulb still glows. The bloodstains are obvious now, even if you don’t know what you’re looking for. This is far worse than I thought it would be, and I can barely breathe as I stand in my family home for the first time since the night they died.