Page 16

Nova

We’re lying in bed after Colt fucked me within an inch of my life.

We both fell asleep for a couple of hours. When we woke up, neither of us were in a hurry to get out of bed.

My head is on his chest as he runs his fingers through my hair. It feels like he’s done this a million times before. Familiarity niggles in the back of my mind, but I can’t remember him doing this more than once or twice.

“What are you thinking about?” He whispers.

We’ve been in bed all afternoon and now the sun has finally set. The moon is full in the sky outside the window and it’s a beautiful sight. I’ve always loved the darkness. Daylight shows too much. You can’t hide anything.

“It feels like you’ve done this so many times before.”

“I have.”

I look at him. “What?”

He presses my head down to his chest again. “When you had nightmares at the foster home, I’d sneak in your room. I always ran my fingers through your hair until you settled down. Then I’d go back to bed.”

When the first tear hits his skin, he rolls me onto my back. “Why are you crying?”

Squeezing my eyelids closed, I try desperately to control my emotions, but I can’t hide from him. “I never knew you cared so much.”

“Killing people didn’t convince you?” He smirks and I huff out a laugh.

“I’m complicated.”

He wipes away my tears, kissing me softly. “To anyone else, you may be complicated. To me, you’re Nova. My perfect little demon.”

I’ve never had someone care about me the way Colt does. While it’s everything I’ve ever wanted, I’m scared I’ll fuck it up. I’ve spent all this time missing him and longing for the day he’d come back. Now that he’s here, I’m terrified I won’t be enough. Hell, I may be too much with all my fucking baggage and warped ways of thinking about shit.

“Where’d you go?” He asks softly.

“I’ve never loved anyone before. What if I do it wrong or I’m not what you need?” He gazes at me wordlessly, the seconds ticking by and I’m becoming uncomfortable under his scrutiny. “Are you going to say something?”

“Hmmm.” That’s all he says and I’m feeling stabby all the sudden.

I push at his chest with both hands, and he chuckles as we roll onto our sides, facing each other.

After a few moments, he grows serious. “I know you love me, Nova. There’s no wrong way to love a man like me. We were both given a shit hand as soon as we entered this world. We had no love given to us. No example to teach us how to care for others. But here we are. I’d do anything to make you smile. To keep you by my side. You’re all I’ll ever need. Without you, I’m nothing.”

Tears threaten again, but I lay my heart on the line. “I feel like I waited a lifetime for you to come back. I never want to be without you again. I love you, Colt.”

His eyes close as he crushes me to his chest. “I love you, baby. Those words aren’t enough to describe what I feel for you, but they’ll have to do.”

I exhale softly against his skin, and he sighs in contentment. I don’t think either of us have ever experienced peace like this. Our pasts are full of trauma. To think we could have a chance at happiness gives us something we’ve never had before.

Hope.

There’s still so much I don’t know about him. I want to understand how he came to be the person I know now. What shaped him into the man everyone fears?

Everyone except me.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Do you know what happened to your parents?”

He sighs heavily. “They live two hours north of here. They moved a few towns over after I was taken away.”

“Any particular reason you looked for them?” He hums and it confirms what I suspected. “You’re going to kill them?”

“Would it bother you if I said yes?”

“No, but are you able to tell me more?” I don’t want to upset him, but he knows what happened to me. I’d like to know what happened to him.

He reaches over, turning on the lamp. He sits up, propping himself against the headboard. Stretching out his arm, I snuggle into him. I don’t mind if he uses me to ground himself. I prefer it. I don’t want him sucked into the past without a way back to the present.

“My first memories are being hungry. I remember being six or seven years old, and my stomach would rumble and cramp so badly, I’d cry. One day, I was in my room, weak and starving. I tried to open my bedroom door to call for my parents, but it was locked. I started crying and pounding on the door, but no one came. After a while, I climbed in my bed and just laid there, staring out the window. I bet I counted every single leaf on that old oak tree that day.”

My vision blurs as I listen to him relive his childhood. He pulls me closer, his hold almost suffocating as he continues.

“Later that night, I heard voices in the house, so I started banging on the door again, screaming for my mom and dad. Next thing I knew, the door bursts open and I was knocked to the ground. My father took off his belt and started swinging. I brought my hands up to shield my face, but he didn’t care. By the time he was finished, my entire body was covered in big, red welts. I remember looking at the door and my mother just stood there, not at all phased by what she had seen. Her expression was cold. My father left the room after buckling his belt back in place. My mother threw two pieces of bread on the floor, shut the door and locked it.”

My body shudders as I try to conceal my sobs, but I can’t hold them in. He grips me by the waist, pulling me onto his lap. Pushing my hair from my face, he tries to wipe the tears away, but they won’t stop coming. “I’m sorry, Colt. I-I should be consoling you.”

“Don’t ever apologize for caring about me.” He says, pulling me against him. “You’re the only one who ever has.”

He props his head on top of mine as I bury my face in his chest. “How did you get away from them?”

“A neighbor called the police when they heard me screaming during one of the beatings. It went on for five or six years before anyone noticed. I was homeschooled, and never left the house. It was like I never existed to the outside world. I had been at the Lancaster’s four years before you got there.”

My fucking soul withers at the thought of him enduring that kind of abuse for so long. I can’t imagine how lonely he was. No child should ever have to live through that.

He had no one.

He was alone.

My tears dry up as a simmering rage surfaces. My chest constricts with hostility. My breathing quickens with outrage. Malice weaves vines through my heart, every painful thorn a reminder of what Colt went through.

Pushing myself off his chest, he tilts his head to the side, feeling the shift in my demeanor. “What are you thinking, little demon?”

A sinister smile creeps across my lips. “We’re going to kill your parents.”