Page 1 of Devil May Hunt (The Devils of Vitality #8)

“Do you know about drowning?” He shouldn’t be talking about this. People got uncomfortable whenever he did. It wasn’t something meant to be shared, not in public.

Not in private either.

Brennon Cree was a fool.

No, he was worse than that.

He was a downright idiotic moron who—

“Those basically mean the same thing,” a familiar voice drawled next to him, and he blinked through his drunken haze, the face of his first crush coming into focus.

Sort of.

“Rin?” Brennon drowned out hiccups that threatened by chugging the rest of the beer in front of him. He was seated at the bar in The Dive, a frequent haunt of theirs where the music was always semi-decent and the alcohol was always flowing. Especially when Brennon was here with his friends.

Rin Varun, Royal Consort to the Imperial Prince, attracted attention because of his title and the fact he was gorgeous.

Daylen Jace was mysterious and had that bad boy vibe without any of the bad attitude that typically went along with it.

Calder Sade was…hot in his own way, and mixed up with a Devil of Vitality, which people had noticed. Everyone loved gossip.

Then there was him. Royal Brennon Cree. The average one. The one who never got picked. People were attracted to him, sure. He wasn’t ugly, though next to Rin and Daylen, he paled in comparison. He lacked the storybook good looks and the male lead energy they both had.

“Those girls wanted me though,” he murmured to himself, laughing and then hiccupping. He tapped the bar and then downed half the contents of the next bottle the bartender placed before him.

“Those girls were visiting royalty,” Rin said, eyeing him a bit too intensely. “Don’t you recall getting scolded by their siblings a couple of hours ago?”

Oh, that was right. He’d been dancing with three strangers, then his friends had joined him and…It didn’t matter. What mattered was Daylen had snuck off with a guy, Calder had left with his Devil, and Rin and Kelevra—

He frowned. “Hold on. You left already, didn’t you?”

“Didn’t I?”

Brennon leaned in closer, almost toppling off the stool he was perched on in the process, not that his best friend tried to help steady him or anything.

Maybe because they were no longer best friends.

And it was all Brennon’s fault.

“If I’d known we’d turn out like this,” he said, “I never would have confessed in the first place.”

Last semester, Brennon had made the massive mistake of hitting on Rin.

Sure, the feelings had been there, but in reality, he’d only done it out of fear.

He’d been afraid of losing the guy after he started hanging around Kelevra.

Even in their friend group, the other two had only accepted him because of Rin. If he’d lost him…

Brennon hadn’t wanted to end up alone again. But instead of being smart about it, he’d allowed his feelings to get twisted and had made a mistake that had driven a wedge between them anyway.

“Do you regret it?”

“Yes.” He shifted and twirled the glass bottle.

He’d long since lost track of how many he’d had.

All he had for tomorrow was an evening training session, so it wasn’t a big deal how drunk he got tonight anyway.

Clearly, since no one was trying to stop him.

“You didn’t come back here to check on me, did you? ”

“I did not, no.”

Right. Rin wouldn’t do that.

No one would.

Even his parents had always treated him more like a piece of furniture. If he was around, they’d use him, interact with him, but out of sight? Out of mind.

There was another relationship he’d fucked up. He’d clung to petty grudges against them for the way they made him feel, uncaring if he screwed himself over in the process. So long as he could make them unhappy? It’d been worth it.

Until he’d passed puberty and he’d realized no, it hadn’t been.

Now they barely spoke, and when they did, it was over uncomfortable family dinners at fancy, open restaurants meant to help bolster their social standing.

If they looked like the perfect little family on the outside, no one would bat an eye over the fact the only heir to Cree Cosmetics had waived his rights to it and opted to enroll in the Academy instead.

“Are you even worried about me?” How pathetic could a person get? Brennon held up a hand and shook his head. “Don’t answer that. I don’t need to hear it out loud.”

His best friend remained silent next to him, and he took the opportunity to look him over through blurred vision.

Rin had sandy blond hair with streaks of gold and mismatched eyes. His left was a soothing pastel green, the right a calm pastel blue. He’d never shown any romantic interest in Brennon whatsoever and, truthfully, Brennon hadn’t thought of him that way in the beginning either.

Things had been patchy since Rin had chosen to be with Kelevra. The Imperial Prince ignored Brennon, for the most part, tolerating him only to appease Rin.

Not that Brennon deserved that, he knew he didn’t. He’d let things get so messy when he’d first been rejected. Had overstepped his bounds. It still sucked, and their friendship would never be the same, but he and Rin had been trying to put the past behind them for the sake of the group.

The group dynamics, not him.

It wasn’t that Rin couldn’t bear to lose him as a friend, it was that it would be too awkward going the next two years attending the same school, having to avoid one another.

He hadn’t said as much out loud.

But Brennon knew.

“It’s far past time you moved on,” Rin stated, and there was no caring in his tone.

“I know.” It wasn’t that simple though. “It’s not like I haven’t tried.”

“Try harder.”

“Notice how I arrived with the rest of you at the same time, and yet I’m the only one here alone,” he replied, tossing an arm out around him.

He almost fell again, but caught himself on the counter.

Even now, he couldn’t properly articulate the way he was feeling. Couldn’t find the words to explain to Rin that he’d been foolish and wrong. That he’d never been romantically attracted to him. That he’d just been scared of being left behind.

Rin probably wouldn’t even believe him.

It sounded like an excuse even to Brennon’s ears.

“Drowning sucks.” It was there though, all around him, that feeling of being dragged under, the heavy weight of water holding him at all sides, his lungs burning from lack of oxygen. Any second now, and he’d scream, he’d scream and he’d let all that water in and—

“That’s more my brother’s thing,” Rin said, voice bursting through the sound of crashing waves that threatened to block the rest of the noises of the crowded club out.

“Sila?” Brennon shook his head. “No, no. He swims. He’s great at it. He’d never drown. A guy like that? A guy who always has his shit together, who never has to worry or doubt? He could never.”

Rin tilted his head. “Doubt what?”

“Himself.”

He snorted. “You are right. Sila Varun would never doubt himself.”

“Exactly.” Brennon snapped his fingers. “He doesn’t know what it’s like to drown. On land. In front of everybody.” His gaze swept out across the packed dance floor. No one looked back.

No one ever did.

He scoffed. “Pity party.”

“What is it like?” Rin asked. “Are you drowning right now?”

“All the time.” He hiccupped and laughed.

“There are different levels, different stages, but I’m always drowning in one way or another.

Right now?” He slammed a fist against the center of his chest, the burst of pain welcomed.

“It’s the sad kind. The kind where I’m sinking and I can’t do anything to stop it. ”

More accurately, the kind where he didn’t want to do anything to stop it. Where he gave in to the sadness and the forlorn feeling, and his dark thoughts got the best of him. Where he believed all those negatives spoken about him, by others, and by himself.

Where he admitted he was secretly lonely.

No one would believe that either. On paper, he had the perfect life. Rich, mildly attractive, had friends…

The money was his parent’s, mildly attractive wouldn’t get him noticed, and as for the friends…Daylen and Calder had made their distaste clear. They didn’t agree with what he’d done to Rin either. Stuck around for the same reasons Rin did.

Out of convenience.

Great. Now he sounded entitled and ungrateful.

“I didn’t know you felt this way,” Rin said. “You’ve always seemed…dull.”

He chuckled. “Do you think it’s boring to drown? It takes a lot of energy.”

The room spun around him, and he closed his eyes against it for a minute. It helped with the dizziness, but not the weight crushing him. That inescapable weight that made him feel he didn’t matter and had no control.

Hell, he was one of the richest guys on the whole planet, but he couldn’t find one thing to truly call his own. Couldn’t find a single thing to help breathe fresh air back into his lungs.

He’d thought, maybe, with how close they were, that thing could be Rin, but he’d been wrong.

“Maybe I never even liked you at all,” he murmured. “Maybe I just thought you could stop me from drowning.”

“Would you like help?” Rin asked, and Brennon frowned.

“What?”

“I don’t know enough about drowning yet. But the other thing. That I can grasp. Your misplaced crush. Getting over it?” he reiterated. “Would you like help?”

Getting over it wasn’t the issue, but he couldn’t say that, even as drunk as he was. Besides, what a weird thing to say, but… “Yeah. Hell. Why not? How?”

Rin took one last sip of the fancy drink he’d been milking for…however long this conversation had lasted, and then stood, motioning toward the left with his chin. “Follow me.”