Page 27

He’d gotten cocky. Zane realized that now, now that he’d lost and he was waiting in an office with a first aid kit and a chip the size of a hovercar on his shoulder. He wasn’t above admitting he’d sulked the whole way back to the house, even though this was exactly what he’d wanted in the first place.

When he’d set the terms, he’d assumed Pavel would ask for something kinky yet familiar—like almost drowning him in the tub or hunting him through the massive mansion. He should have known there’d be darker proclivities he’d yet to scratch the surface of where the other man was concerned.

Had he meant it?

Was he really planning on filming—

Zane shook his head to shake those thoughts loose and straightened from where he’d been leaning against the large cherry wood desk. Pavel had deposited him in the office on the top level before vanishing back into the hallway. There’d been a first aid kit on one of the shelves, which Zane had gotten, and since then he’d been waiting for his fellow Retinue member’s return.

The office was a decent size, with a wall of bookshelves to the right, and a full-sized couch and sitting area to the left. There was also a fireplace tucked into one corner, near the bay window that overlooked the bluffs, and a few potted plants that Zane hadn’t decided on were real or not.

The main focal point of the room, the desk, was kept neat and tidy, with only the built-in strip for the holo-screen computer and a blank area for the keyboard to be projected. Since this wasn’t a place Pavel often visited, Zane doubted there was much interest there. He’d keep all of his important documents pertaining to the club at his penthouse, where it was easily accessible.

Turning to the bookshelves, he began to unapologetically snoop. There was still so much about the other guy that he didn’t know or understand. Even if this marriage was more of a business deal than anything else—at least for him—that didn’t mean Zane wanted to jump into it blindly.

Did he even want to jump into it at all?

For the first time since it’d been suggested to him, Zane found he was able to actually take the time to consider his options and feelings in regard to his situation.

If he accepted Lyra’s “proposal”, for lack of a better way of calling it, he’d be gaining immense power. As the Royal Consort to the Imperial Heir, Zane would bring a wealth of prestige to his family name. Mr. and Mrs. Solace would no doubt praise him, maybe even finally think of him as a real son instead of just the replacement they’d been cornered into taking in.

There was a chance Lyra would still allow him to become the Royal Doctor as she’d said the other night, but just as good of a chance she would refuse. He had no way of knowing how far he could push her into giving him his way if he insisted on continuing his studies. Assuming she did allow it, he could make out with both the position he’d worked so hard for all these years and an even higher one.

But he’d also be stuck with her, in her bed. By her side.

Even after she grew bored and the novelty of taking him when there’d been a chance someone else could wore off.

Zane would be trapped in a loveless, passion-free marriage.

Love he could do without, but the passion part? He refused to put himself in a situation where he’d go unwanted. There was no way his mental health would survive that, and there was no question that Pavel wanted him.

Hell, the man had been desperate enough to kidnap him.

The shelves were organized by the size of the books, and he trailed his gaze across rows and rows of spines, only vaguely registering the titles as he skimmed them. Everything in the space was so well organized, that when his eyes caught onto the sheet of paper sticking out from between two books, it was incredibly noticeable.

Zane had to move up onto his tiptoes to reach it, but he plucked the yellowing page free and stared at it curiously. It was a folded piece of thick construction paper, something he hadn’t seen in a while. There were stains here and there, small brown splotches and watermarks, but when he flipped it open, the inside was kept clean.

At first, the children’s drawing threw him for a loop. There were two boys sitting beneath a large tree with fire-orange leaves. They were better than stick figure drawings, but not by much, both with crudely drawn mops of hair, one in brown, the other in black.

He was in the process of wondering why Pavel would have something like this when he moved his thumb on the page and inadvertently exposed the names that had been scrawled there in messy child writing.

Pavel and Zane Hart.

Zane reread the line over and over again, blinking in confusion. Pavel and Zane Hart ?

A vague memory from the other night flittered to the forefront of his mind and his frown deepened. Hadn’t Pavel called him that? At the time, Zane had been a bit too caught up in everything else to really pay it any notice, but now…

“You weren’t meant to find that so soon,” Pavel’s voice suddenly sounded from the doorway, and Zane spun to find him standing there, watching him with an unreadable expression. His dark eyes not lit up in the slightest, further preventing Zane from guessing his mood.

He’d removed the wet clothing and had changed into a different pair of sleepwear, and if Zane weren’t so invested in playing detective right now, he might have been miffed he’d been left here in his damp pajamas while the other guy changed without him.

As it were…

“What is this?” He held up the drawing.

Pavel sighed. “What’s it look like, Doctor? Just because you can’t remember drawing it, doesn’t mean you should act the fool. You lost your memories, not your common sense.”

“I drew this?” He stared back at the colorful marks on the page with pursed lips. Art had never been his strong suit, but he couldn’t recall there ever being a time when he wasn’t aware of that fact. Drawing was not a pastime of his.

“The day before the Solace family came and took you away,” Pavel confirmed, “yes.”

“Why did I give myself your last name?” He pointed to it.

“Because it was never my last name,” he replied. “It was ours.”

Zane’s arms dropped to his sides, but he didn’t know what to say to that.

“We were two orphans who’d been discarded and abandoned by our parents, people who hadn’t even the decency to leave us with last names. Maybe they’d feared we’d try to find them one day, who knows, either way, it sucked for us. Most of the other kids had two names, which was something that always pissed you off. I’d catch you crying over it more than once.”

“I…” had no recollection of that whatsoever. But it didn’t exactly sound made up. Zane’s abandonment issues were bad now as an adult, he could imagine how complicated things had been for him as a child, without the proper tools to work through those big emotions.

“One night, after a new kid arrived and you slunk off to cry alone yet again, I found you and suggested we give ourselves our own last names.” Pavel slipped his hands into his front pockets. “Hart, because that’s what we’d been missing. No one to love us. No one to care. Hart, because we swore we’d be each other’s. You’re the one who demanded we have the same one. You wanted us to match because we were a family.”

There was that word again. Family. The one thing Zane had never really had. The one thing he’d given up hope of having. To him, the Retinue was his family. It was the closest thing he was ever going to get to one.

“We’ll be a family again,” Pavel said then, taking a step into the room. “I’ll tie you to me and make you mine on paper. No one will be able to part us then, not the Solaces, not even Lyra Diar. You’ll be mine, Zane, all mine, and I promise I’ll never let anyone take you from me again. Doesn’t that sound nice? Doesn’t it sound right ? We were always meant to be, you and I.”

He didn’t know why he did it, but when Pavel took another step closer, Zane moved back. There was no reason for him to retreat, and yet he couldn’t help it. This shouldn’t be an overload of information—spurred on by a single child’s drawing—but he was suddenly incredibly overwhelmed.

“Sit down, gorgeous,” Pavel suggested.

Zane shook his head, receiving another sigh of annoyance.

“Stubborn to the last. Why bother? As much as I enjoy it when you fight me for dominance, there’s no use fighting for this. There was never any choice here, Zane. You’ve belonged to me practically all of your life. Eventually, I was going to come collect, your brother just sped up my timetable, that’s all.”

He pursed his lips, trying to come up with some kind of witty retort, but found himself unable.

“We aren’t leaving this island until you’ve come to terms with your future at my side,” Pavel continued when Zane remained silent. “I’ll be fully transparent with you, I’ll do everything I can to get you to submit. Whether that’s bending you until you break, starving you until you’re begging for affection, or ruining any chance you have of keeping that shiny reputation outside of this, I will do it all. Without hesitation or remorse. I’m tired of waiting, gorgeous. I’m tired of standing on the outside on my own. You left me . Now it’s time to pay the price.”

“I didn’t,” the denial slipped off his lips in a hushed whisper, but the other man heard loud and clear.

Pavel snorted. “You didn’t so much as glance back as that thieving family drove off with you. And don’t you dare play the amnesia card. You forgot me, but you didn’t forget your favorite drink.”

The Doc & Bro bottles.

“You knew. That’s why you’ve been leaving them for me.” Zane should have pieced that together after discovering they’d known one another as kids, but he hadn’t.

“I bought the company and opened a branch on Vitality specifically for you,” he said. “I thought you’d maybe try it and like it as much as you used to. Imagine my surprise when you looked at the bottle with familiarity. I almost came over and demanded answers. Thought for a brief moment that the amnesia was all a lie to avoid me.”

“It isn’t.”

“I know, gorgeous,” he reassured. “Sit down, hmm?”

Zane risked tearing his gaze off the other man, catching sight of the desk chair a few feet away. Going to it would put him in a vulnerable position, a spot easy for Pavel to corner him, but…He should sit. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“You’re panicking,” Pavel informed him and then shrugged a single shoulder when his brow furrowed. “Just a little. It’s nothing to worry about, you’ll be fine.”

He didn’t feel fine.

Giving in, he moved to the chair and lowered into it, placing the drawing on the desk. His eyes narrowed when almost immediately, Pavel started forward once more, spine stiffening when he did exactly what Zane had feared and stepped into the open space leading to the desk.

“Back off,” Zane growled, not even caring that he sounded like a frightened animal.

“Where’d all that bravado from earlier go?” he questioned, not listening at all as he settled into that space, effectively blocking the exit. “It’s time you get used to having me around.”

“You’ve stalked me for weeks,” Zane reminded. “I’m used to you being there already.”

More than used to it. This past month, Zane had found himself searching for the other man every time he’d stepped from the Little Palace. Even knowing Pavel had his own life, classes, and work at the club—reasons for not being able to always be around twenty-four-seven—whenever he’d felt that absence, it’d cut like the edge of a star crystal blade.

He was the one who’d set the terms for their last game, the one who’d demanded time apart, and yet all it’d taken were a handful of weeks for him to come to the conclusion that he was becoming codependent.

Every time he’d caught sight of Pavel chatting or laughing with someone else on campus, he’d seethed. Even if it was the guy’s brother. Zane had hated it. It’d taken all of his willpower not to storm over each and every time and yank Pavel away from whoever he was with by the scruff of his neck.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be with Pavel forever.

But Good Light, did a part of him feel like it needed to be.

“I mean up close and personal,” Pavel said. “I’m not going anywhere, gorgeous. I’m here to stay.”

Zane wasn’t ready to admit any of this. Was still too afraid of giving in and believing in a pipedream.

“This was a mistake.” He went to stand, but suddenly Pavel’s hand was on his shoulder, shoving him back down with enough strength to keep him there. “Let go.”

“Never.”

“I—” He sucked in a sharp breath when Pavel dropped to his knees, situating himself between Zane’s spread thighs.

He wrapped his arms tightly around Zane’s waist and rested his head against his stomach, sighing contentedly as though they weren’t in the midst of a potential argument. “You’re so warm, bashert. Smell so good.”

Zane pushed at him, but the man didn’t budge. “Stop it.”

“You should get out of these wet clothes.”

“You should have brought me a change since you took the time to take off yours.” He scowled. “Don’t think I didn’t notice they’re matching sets, you freak.”

“What’s wrong with wanting to wear couples’ outfits?”

“We aren’t a couple.”

“Careful,” Pavel warned, nuzzling him despite the dark warning tone, “I’ve put up with a lot from you already, but my patience is wearing thin. If you put all that effort into coming to terms with us instead of wasting energy on being a brat, I never would have had to bring us here.”

“You never would have had to kidnap me and imprison me on an island, you mean,” he stated, opting to ignore that tidbit of advice about not being bratty.

“It won’t be forever.”

“Right, just until I give in to your demands. What happens if I don’t?”

Pavel hummed. “Well, then I guess I’m a liar and it’ll be forever after all.”

Zane shook his head. “You can’t keep me here, Pav. Someone will eventually come looking.”

“Lyra, you mean?”

He hadn’t been thinking of her specifically but, yeah. “She won’t give up so easily.”

“What a coincidence.” Pavel set his chin above Zane’s navel and smiled up at him. “Neither will I.”

“She saw a video of us,” he blurted, not really sure why he was confessing this part. “It upset her. She feels like she’s losing me all of a sudden. If you hadn’t snuck into the Little Palace that night—”

“I’ll stop you there before you dig yourself a hole you can’t climb out of. You can’t blame me for her actions. I won’t take that.” Pavel shifted, resting his cheek on Zane’s left thigh. “Come on, gorgeous, let’s get out of these wet clothes so you can patch me up. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? I played by your rules and everything. Are you really going to sit here and wallow instead of claim your prize?”

Zane shoved at him, but he still refused to release him. “We both know it’s not my prize you’re eager to have dished out.”

“That’s true,” he admitted. “I’m already foaming at the mouth to get back inside of you. My fingers,” he dragged his short nails down Zane’s side, causing him to shiver, “my tongue,” then turned his head and licked at his wrist, “my cock. I’m going to force you to take all of me and have you begging me for more.”

He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, trying to act unaffected. “You can’t win me over with sex.”

“Of course I can.”

“No—”

“But that’s not what I’ve been doing.”

Zane leaned back in the chair, staring down at him.

“Think about it,” Pavel said. “I’ve given you gifts.”

“Gifts? Your dick doesn’t—”

He rolled his eyes. “Not that. The drinks? There were those. Then there was Samuel. I murdered him for you, you know I did. I keep meaning to give you his heart, but I left it in that old castle on the cliffs. This house was modeled after it, did you notice?”

He had not, but now that it was mentioned Zane could sort of see the similarities.

“When we were younger, we dreamed up all the places we’d one day live. I always wanted something small and intimate, soothing, but you always came up with these elaborate floor plans and homes with a million rooms.” He grinned. “It doesn’t have a million, but there are five bedrooms, a home theater, a swimming pool, hot tub, library, two offices, greenhouse, and three bonus rooms. Do you like it?”

Since he couldn’t remember anything from their past, there was always the chance that Pavel was making things up when he told these types of stories. Though, Zane couldn’t come up with a reason why he’d bother, especially when talking about something like this.

“I haven’t seen it all yet,” he reminded.

“Right,” Pavel chuckled. “I was planning on making you breakfast and then giving you the grand tour, but someone had other ideas.” He playfully nipped at his knee and then stood with a flourish. “How about—”

“Wait.” Zane latched onto his wrist, keeping him in place as he stared at the dark splotch staining Pavel’s shirt. He’d done without the other layers, just in the thin black material that was now clearly wet. “What did you do?”

Pavel didn’t resist when he went to pull the shirt up, standing still as Zane cursed and inspected his injury. He didn’t even flinch when Zane tore away the old bandage, allowing him to do as he pleased.

“How the hell did it get this bad?” Zane had stitched him up pretty good last night, but all of the stitches had come undone, and the wound was oozing blood and gaping open as though it hadn’t healed even a little. “I looked it up, Yurns and D’vitars heal at the same quick rate as Vitals. It shouldn’t still be like this.”

Pavel shrugged. “Maybe it’s whatever else in me that’s slowing down the process.”

“How long does it typically take you to heal?” Zane asked. “How long did it take you to heal when you were stabbed by that customer?”

“You mean when I took the blade for you?” he corrected, eyes gleaming. “Another thing to add to the list. See? I told you I wasn’t just trying to win you over with sex.”

Zane stood and eased Pavel onto the desk, thinking the chair was too low for him. “Lean back.” He grabbed the first aid kit and snapped it open, riffling around for the things he’d need as he chided the other man. “You have to take better care of yourself. You can’t go running around with an injury like this. What if you get infected? Or bleed out?”

“That’s why I have my own personal doctor.” He winked at him, but Zane wasn’t amused.

“I’m not about to marry someone who I can’t be sure will still be here in a year,” he growled, forcing Pavel to rest back on his hands with a push since the guy hadn’t followed orders. He cleaned the wound and got ready to restitch him. “If I do decide to do this with you, I need guarantees you won’t—”

“I’ll never abandon you,” Pavel cut him off, voice soft and sincere. “You’ll never not be the most important thing in my life. I can promise you that right now. You’re everything to me, Zane. You always have been.” His hand shifted, settling over the corner of the drawing, making Zane’s gaze go to it. “Can’t you see that?”

He pretended to need to concentrate on patching him up, but he should have known he wouldn’t get away with it.

“Maybe you don’t want to see it,” Pavel said. “Maybe you aren’t ready. I’m sorry, gorgeous, but you’re going to have to get past this. Time is running out. I’ll have you claimed, bred, and wed before either of us step foot off this island. That’s just a fact, not a threat, not even a promise. It’s simply the truth.”

“You’ve got to stop saying shit like that,” Zane grumbled.

“Like what?”

“The whole breed kink thing you’ve got going.”

“Why?” He tipped his head. “Is it because it makes you sad?”

“Why would it make me sad?”

“Because you prefer relationships with men, and you can’t get pregnant. That doesn’t matter. We can still have children. We can have as many as you like. You’ve always wanted a large family. Our children will all dote on you.”

He grunted. “I don’t see how bringing kids into our fucked up lives makes any sort of sense.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Pavel insisted. “You’re always too rational now, Zane. Where’s the guy who used to dream up mansions with a million rooms?”

“He drowned.”

“Hey.” Pavel took him by the chin and lifted his head. “Look at me.”

“I am.” He tugged on the threads holding the man together, causing Pavel to wince. “I’m trying to fix you.”

“Funny, I’m pretty sure that’s actually what I’m doing here.” He rubbed his thumb against Zane’s bottom lip. “I can give you the life you’ve always wanted. I can give you the big house, the purpose, and the family. Someone to come home to who always wants you there. Someone to lean on and long for. I may not be a Royal, but my parents hold enough prestige that yours won’t be disappointed by our merger. Let me in. It’ll make this easier on the both of us.”

“And if I don’t?”

Pavel’s expression never wavered. “Then I’ll take you, whether you concede or not.”