16

D r. Chang arrives on Monday without warning. They hear the car pull up. Liam makes him stay in the nest and Daniel is so drowsy he goes along with it. Then he hears the doctor’s voice outside and realizes that it’s over.

His father is alive, then. He hears several pairs of boots coming up the steps. Armed guards to escort him back.

Daniel gets up, throws on sweats and a shirt, runs a hand through his hair and splashes water on his face, trying to wake up a little. It’s over. He knew it would end.

If he can keep it together until they leave, that will be a miracle. He has no idea how Liam will react to him leaving, but it won’t be good.

How bizarre is it that he knows his Daddy will be devastated? The real danger here is that Liam might fight for him, get into an altercation with the soldiers if Daniel can’t convince him he wants to leave. Even if Liam didn’t get killed or hurt by the soldiers, he knows his father would love an excuse to court-martial the Dominant who bred his son. And if he couldn’t court-martial him, then at least get him demoted, possibly kicked out of the military. If Daniel isn’t careful, he could ruin Liam’s life.

He couldn’t stand that.

Daniel’s life is already ruined. It’s over. He’s going back to what he knows. Liam can still live a good life. Maybe this is the true test of submission, he realizes—being willing to sublimate himself for the good of the man he loves.

He goes out into the living room, and Liam looks at him, his nostrils flaring. “Wait,” he growls, pointing at Daniel.

“I have to go. It’s time,” he says, forcing a smile as he looks at Dr. Chang.

The doctor is frowning severely.

Daniel starts walking to the door.

“This isn’t my decision. We’ll take his labs when we get back to the base and start making a case that his treatment be changed,” Dr. Chang says.

“He’s mine ,” Liam snaps, and grabs Daniel’s arm as he tries to pass by.

“Oh shit,” the doctor says.

Two guards step into the cabin.

The hand on his arm tightens. “Daniel,” he murmurs, and every hair on Daniel’s body rises, electricity crackling between them. He’s still caged. He’s wearing a plug, and the shirt is rough against his nipples. Daniel belongs to his Daddy. But now he has to leave.

“Please do not make this worse for me,” Daniel says.

Liam’s arm drops to his side. Daniel can’t even look at him. He certainly can’t touch him or say goodbye. It’s three steps and then he’s in the bright light of day and walking towards the jeep.

“Daniel!” Liam calls from behind him.

“Sir, I’m going to need you to remain in the house,” a soldier says. Daniel hears a snarl and he almost stumbles.

The car door opens, and a doctor he’s familiar with gets out, leering at him. “Hello, Daniel. It’s been too long,” he says, and Daniel almost runs, just bolts into the forest. Let them shoot him, let them capture him and take him back to his father kicking and screaming.

He doesn’t. Because he knows Liam will fight if Daniel runs. And then Liam will get hurt.

And how does that help anyone?

Daniel gets into the jeep, closes his eyes, and pretends to sleep.

Dr. Chang takes his vitals as they head back to the base. “Your improvement is remarkable. Did he take care of you?”

“Yes,” he replies. It’s a massive understatement but what else is there to say?

Forty minutes later he hears Doctor Chang gasp. “Oh god,” he says, looking up from his phone and at Daniel, an expression of horror on his face before he flinches and looks out the window, rattled.

“Let me guess. My father has decided I need a long, cold nap?”

He doesn’t answer right away. “I’ll talk to him. We’ll appeal it.”

“Do I see him first or just go straight there?”

“I’m not sure if he’ll meet you there.”

“Disposing of his son in person might be too unpalatable. Even for him,” Daniel says, and laughs. He isn’t sure why. But it feels like cowardice for his father to not even look him in the eye and be there when he’s put to sleep. He might never wake up again. He might wake up fifty years in the future. Any amount of time will be odd. Will he wake up again?

What will Liam do? Will he even know?

“Tell Liam what happened. Please?”

The doctor shakes his head, apparently too horrified to speak. Which is strange. It happens all the time, doesn’t it?

“My father is a coward. He’s a pathetic villain, and this is the most unpatriotic thing he could do. If you see him, would you tell him that for me? Even if you won’t, lie to me and say you will.”

“I will make sure he knows how wrong I believe this is,” he finally says.

“Can you tell me,” he asks, swallowing hard. “Are there bonding markers in my blood? Was Liam meant to be mine?”

Dr. Chang takes a deep breath in and lets it out. “I don’t have his scores, but for you, yes. You would have been happy with him. Evened out and satisfied.”

He nods. It’s good to know that he could have had contentment. That it was real, after all this time when he never fit, didn’t think he’d ever belong.

“Does that mean it was likely real to him, too?”

“Yes. There’s a very high chance it was.”

“He gave me a nest. In my own private room. He said he’d keep it for me in case I came back. If you talk to him… he doesn’t need to do that. I don’t want him to waste his whole life waiting for me to come back, when we both know I won’t.” It’s the most horrible thing he’s ever said. The bravest. That’s what it means to love someone more than oneself—to let them go and have the chance to live a good life.

If his father had loved him, he would have done the same thing.

His chest hurts, as if he’s been stabbed. His heart isn’t just broken but ripped out of his chest.

They don’t even go back to Daniel’s apartment. He’s taken directly to the airstrip and put on a plane to the Montana base where soldiers who are not fit to serve, but who the military doesn’t want to eliminate, go to be put into cryogenic stasis.

The flight is two hours. When he lands, he’s directly in the base and is taken to a waiting room that plays soft music and is reminiscent of a fancy hotel. He has to take a shower, is given a thorough enema, and the most horrible part is that he has to remove his cage. They won’t let him wear it into stasis. They put it in a box with the rest of his personal effects and tell him it will be stored until he comes out again.

Dr Chang asks, “Do you want me to send the cage back to him?”

“No. Let him think I got to keep it while I’m asleep,” Daniel says, and that’s when the tears fall and he breaks. How can his father hate him this much? Not even let him go to sleep with his cage? The only trace of the man who loved him?

He is escorted to a small room that contains his stasis chamber. There’s a large one-way mirror on the wall. Is anyone on the other side of that, watching his life end? Large double doors are behind him. When he’s asleep they’ll wheel him out into some giant warehouse, and that will be that. How many soldiers are behind that door, stacked on top of each other, blank and unknowing as the world passes them by?

This base is thirty years old. There are soldiers who have been on ice for decades and now Daniel will be one of them. He’s staring at the coffin. That’s what it is. Even though it has a clear glass top and lights on the outside of it, they all know what it is. The interior is white.

“Would you like a sedative?” Dr. Chang offers. “It will make the next bit easier.”

He nods in agreement and he’s given a shot in his arm. Why the hell not? It stings going in. Thirty seconds later, he’s woozy and can’t see very well. People are speaking but it’s like they’re underwater; nothing is distinct. Are they talking to him? Does it matter?

“Liam.” He isn’t sure if he’s saying the name or asking for him, but his words are slurred, and it doesn’t matter. “No,” he says.

“It’s alright,” someone murmurs, very close to his ear. He climbs in, foot sinking into the padding. A hand on his shoulder urges him to lie down.

“No,” he repeats. He lies down and the cover lowers. There’s a buzz, and then cold air at his feet. Daniel breathes, tasting metal at the back of his throat, the air smelling like oranges and ozone.

And then he’s very, very cold.