Page 9 of Delta Mission (Alpha Tactical Ops)

Makenna

Tears pooled in my eyes, but I couldn’t wipe them away as panic swept through me like a tsunami.

“Makenna, listen to me,” Channing called down to me. “You can do this.”

“I can’t!” I screamed. “I’m not strong enough.”

“You can. You’re the strongest woman I know. And not just physically. Mentally. Use it.”

I had two choices. Climb . . . or die.

I shuddered out my stupidity. “Okay. Here I come.”

“Good girl.”

Good girl. I liked that.

Do or die.

I am not dying today.

Reaching up, I squeezed my fingers around the rope and inched higher. I did it again. With each movement, Channing rained praise on me. His words were equally encouraging and pissing me off. I hated that he saw my weakness. But I loved it too. This was the real me, flawed and human.

Inch by painful inch, I crawled up the tattered rope.

I made it to the cave edge, and Channing touched my hand. “That’s it. You’re nearly there.”

Pride swelled inside me as I reached up again.

His smile was the one I remembered. The one I had fallen in love with.

“Now what?” I asked.

“Grab my hand, and I’ll pull you in.”

“That’s it?”

“Just do it,” he barked.

“Don’t drop me, Channing.”

“No way. I’m here to protect you, remember?” He tapped my shoulder. “Give me your hand.”

It took everything I had to convince my fingers to release my good hand. Crying out, I let go and reached for him.

My feet spilled sideways, and I screamed.

His fingers strangled my wrist. “Let go of the rope!”

“Oh, Jesus.” I did as he instructed, and my heart exploded as I dangled hundreds of feet in the air.

“Climb!”

A scream burst from my throat.

“Makenna. Look at me.”

I peered up at him.

Fear blazed in his eyes. “Calm down and climb up here. You can do it. I know you.”

Terror pierced my veins as I wedged my fingers into a tiny slit in the rocks, and staring at my dislocated pinkie, I pressed my body to the wall.

“Makenna. Fucking climb!” He just about ripped my arm out of its socket.

“All right!”

I scrambled up and with a final almighty thrust, I fell onto Channing’s legs. He pulled me into the cave.

I flopped onto my back, panting like a rabid dog. “I did it.”

His breathing was as ragged as mine. He rested his hand on my arm. “I knew you could.”

I placed my good hand over the back of his palm. “Thank you.”

He didn’t move away. We just lay there, side by side.

I could have stayed there much longer, sharing the same space with him, but a cool breeze swept down from the mountains, freezing the sweat on my body.

He removed his hand, and it was like tearing a small part of me away. “Well, that was a cock-up I could have done without.”

I huffed. “I told you that bridge was broken.”

He rolled away, stood, and glared down at me. “And I told you to wait until I was across.”

“If I had, you and I would now be separated by a giant gorge.”

“Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.” He tossed his helmet on the gravel.

I rolled to my feet and stood. “Really?”

He placed his rifle against the cave wall. “Yeah. Really.”

“We nearly died because you don’t listen. You never listen.”

Glaring at me, he removed his tactical vest and threw it to the gravel floor. “What are we talking about now?”

“You. You only hear what you want to hear.”

“Oh, like how you fucked my brother. I heard that.”

I yanked the Velcro on my Kevlar so hard it was a wonder it didn’t rip off. “Exactly, that’s all you heard. You didn’t hear how it happened. Or why?”

Channing kicked a rock, and it skidded across the cave and slammed into a circle of rocks in the middle. “And I don’t want to fucking know, Makenna. It doesn’t change a thing.”

He turned on his flashlight, stormed to the back of the cave, and disappeared behind a massive rock that jutted from the cave wall like an elbow.

His zipper sounded, and figuring he was taking a piss, I walked to the circle of rocks.

The cave was as large as a bus and the remains of an old campfire in the middle of the rocks confirmed we weren’t the first people to use it.

Four cushions were stacked on the other side of the fire pit.

I shook one and bashed the weathered fabric with my good hand.

Waving away the dust cloud I’d created, I tossed the pillow to the gravel and strolled to the opposite wall where a pile of sticks, a few logs, and a blackened pot were positioned.

“What is this place?” I picked a spoon out of the pot.

He ambled toward me. “Don’t know, but let’s hope whoever knows about it, doesn’t come back tonight.”

He grabbed a handful of sticks and tossed them onto the ash pile.

Squatting down, he fiddled with the sticks, then lit them with a lighter.

The fire quickly took hold, and he added more sticks.

We stood on opposite sides of the fire; him staring into the flames, and me staring at him. He was as rigid as a statue. And I knew why.

It was time to have the conversation that he’d refused to have all those years ago.

A sadness so deep and crippling sagged in my chest. I pulled my shirt from my pants and the cool air swirled around my torso. But it didn’t stop the guilt inferno blazing through me. Even though it would be the hardest conversation of my life, I wanted to tell him. Had to tell him.

“Channing, it does change things, you know?”

“What does?”

Careful not to use my injured finger, I peeled out of my Kevlar and tossed it to the floor. “Understanding how and why I slept with Talon.”

His stunning blue eyes ripped me apart. “I don’t need to know how or why. You fucked my brother. That’s all I need to know.”

Forcing calm into my voice, I said, “I thought I was going to die, and I thought it was you who saved me. You! Not Talon. You never told me your brother was your identical twin. I thought he was you.”

“Doesn’t explain why you wanted to keep it a secret. That’s what hurt, Makenna.”

“I didn’t want to keep it a secret.” I glared at him over the flames.

“Don’t fucking lie to me.” The raw hurt in his expression carved a chunk off my soul.

“I never lied. Never!” I clenched my right fist so tight my nails dug into my palm. “Your brother is the liar.”

Fury darkened his expression. “Careful, Makenna.”

“Or what? You’ll choose him over me like last time. You didn’t give me a chance.”

He flicked off his gloves. “You had plenty of chances to tell me.”

“No. You’re wrong. You were grieving over Uncle Henry. I wanted to be there for you during that time. I promise, I was going to tell you after that. I begged Talon to let me tell you, but he was an asshole.”

“Hey! I told you to be careful.” His tone was bitter and cutting.

I pressed my right hand over my heart. “I swear on my sister’s life, I was going to tell you.”

His eyes softened.

Maybe I was finally getting through. He knew how much my sister meant to me.

“Channing, let me tell you everything, please. Exactly how I wanted to tell you.”

He flopped onto the dirt and flicked a few rocks away. “Go on then. Tell me how you fucked my brother.”

Heaving a heavy breath, I sat on my Kevlar on the opposite side of the fire. I picked up a stick, snapped off the end, and crumbled the bark in my fingers. “We went to Colombia on a tip-off.”

“I don’t need your fucking life story, Makenna.” Anger burned white-hot in his eyes.

I pegged the stick at him, and it bounced off his boots. “You need to know why I did what I did. So please, can you just listen?”

Clamping his jaw, he stared at the fire.

I cleared my throat. “It was supposed to be a fact-finding mission, but somehow, the Colombians knew we were coming. We were ambushed. I was in a car with two other DEA agents. They both died right in front of me.”

He stared ahead like I wasn’t even there.

A tangle of emotion wedged in my throat. “A soldier yanked me from the car.”

“Talon?” He waggled his head.

“No, not Talon. The soldier’s codename was Christmas. I didn’t find out his real name was Noel Parker until his funeral.”

Channing moaned and tossed a rock across the cave. It slammed into the wall and shattered to pieces.

“Christmas dragged me into an alley, but we were chased through those rotten streets. He killed three men before he was shot in the back of his neck. I tried to save him, but I was caught.”

Channing shifted his gaze to me. His mouth was open, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t make the words release.

“They put a bag over my head and shoved me into the trunk of a car. I was taken to a building that I later found out was an abandoned school. They videoed me, tied and gagged. I thought I was going to die, Channing.” My chin quivered, but I clenched my jaw, fighting tears.

I didn’t want his pity. I wanted his forgiveness.

And I wanted him to know how sorry I was.

“Why do you think they didn’t kill you?” he asked.

“I found out later, they were waiting for Rodríguez Antonio Lopez.”

Channing nodded. Rodríguez Antonio Lopez ran one of the biggest drug cartels in Colombian history until the evil bastard vanished in a mystery that’s yet to be solved.

“Lopez wanted to use my public death to get back at the DEA. But I got lucky. A massive earthquake hit Antioquia, ruining the roads so much he couldn’t get to through to reach me.”

Channing turned to me with a weird smile. “You got nine lives, Makenna.”

I huffed. Only one life mattered. The one I’d had with you.

He tossed a stick into the fire, creating a burst of orange sparks. “You were held captive for four days, is that right?”

“Yeah. Every time they walked into the room, I thought I was about to die.’’

A sob burst from my lips.

“Shit.” Pity swelled in his eyes.

A knot wedged in my throat so big I could barely breathe.

He shuffled over to me, pressing our thighs together, blanketing me with his warmth. “How did they find you?”

I released a small chuckle. “Apparently, behind me in the video they took were crayon drawings. One of them had the name of the school.”

“Stupid bastards.” Channing laughed, and it tore down a wall inside me, offering a glimmer of hope. But I was yet to tell him the worst part.

“When your brother’s squad came to rescue me, they killed the men who’d captured me, but . . . the three other men in Talon’s team died too.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“When he pulled that hood off me, I thought it was you. I thought you’d saved me.

I couldn’t believe it. He used your surname, so I had no reason to believe he wasn’t you.

I was in a bad place, and scared and vulnerable, and he .

. . he was there. I wasn’t thinking straight.

Afterward, Talon claimed he didn’t know I was your girlfriend. Why didn’t you tell him about us?”

He glared at me. “You wanted to keep our relationship a secret, remember? To protect our careers.”

“Yeah, from our work life, not family.”

“Yeah, well, I never told anyone. But they found out at Uncle Henry’s wake.”

Torment twisted inside me. “And I’m sorry about that. Talon should never have told you.”

“He’s my twin brother. We tell each other everything.”

“No, you don’t. If you did, he would have known I was your girlfriend when he came to rescue me. And he would have told you the truth about me wanting to tell you.”

“He was drunk, Makenna.”

“Which was exactly why you should have let me explain, and when you started beating the crap out of each other . . .” I didn’t finish my sentence.

It was bad enough that we had fought at the wake, but when Channing and Talon had started that fight, they ruined everything. “Why did you two have that fist fight?”

Channing’s stunning eyes shimmered with heartache and loathing. “He said you were a lousy lay.”

I wanted to vomit.

Scrambling to my feet, I strode to the opposite side of the cave. The last thing I wanted to do was rehash the revolting moment that ruined my life, but Channing needed to hear the rest of the story.

Or I was forever going to be the slut he thought I was.

I yanked my ponytail out of the band, and driving my good hand through my hair, I forced myself to focus. “After Talon saved me, we went to the roof of the school, where he managed to relay a message to have us rescued. But we had to wait it out until it was safe for the helicopter.”

I turned to the wall and staring at a small weed pushing through the rocks, I braced for what I had to tell him next.

“We were both emotional. And it happened so quickly. I honestly thought I was making love to you, Channing. I thought you’d saved me .

. .. That you’d nearly died saving me. That all your team had died because of me.

Talon is the asshole. He took advantage of me.

I was vulnerable and scared. He’s the one you should be pissed at. Not me.”

I spun around and peered at Channing through the heat-distorted air over the fire. Hot tears spilled down my cheeks, and I flicked them away. “After we’d . . . finished, I was getting dressed when I called him Channing. And you know what he did?”

“What?” He sounded defeated.

“He laughed. He fucking laughed as he told me he was your twin brother.”

Channing clenched his teeth so hard the muscles along his jaw bulged.

“He ripped my heart out, Channing, and crushed it in his fist. I was so sick to my stomach I vomited. I felt dirty. And fucking terrified. I was terrified of losing you.”

As I wiped tears from my eyes, the hollowness in my chest grew bigger and heavier.

And Channing didn’t even move.