Page 55 of Delta (Alpha #12)

She nods very seriously. "Mr. Nick and his friends killed those bad men. It was very loud and very scary, but I could tell they were good guys."

"How could you tell that, Lizzy-Bean?" Rush asks.

"Well, bad men have bad eyes," she answers, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"The bad men who stole me had bad eyes. They didn't hurt me, but they still stole me away, and that's bad.

But Mr. Nick, he broke in the door just like the bad men did, but his eyes were nice.

He gave me a wink, like this." She turns to look at Rush and winks, very broadly and exaggeratedly.

"And I knew he was a good guy and I wasn’t afraid of him, even though his friends were great big giants.

Mr. Thresh was so giant he had to duck under the door to fit inside the room!

But do you know, he was very silly. He let me watch Bluey on his phone while we were on the helly-copter. "

There's a long pause, and Eliza's face betrays the depths of her thoughts—Rush waits patiently for her to formulate her thoughts and get them out. "Daddy?"

"Yes, my beautiful, brave girl?" HIs eyes are hazy with emotion, his voice thick with it.

"When can you go home?"

"Well, I don't know exactly. When I got hurt, it made it hard for me to breathe.

" He taps the cannula in his nose. “That's what this is—it helps me breathe better while my lungs heal. So I have to stay here in hospital until my lungs are all better and I don’t need this anymore.

Unfortunately, that might be a while longer, yet. "

She nods. "Can I sleep here with you, Daddy?”

He blinks hard. "I don't think so, darling. I'd love nothing more in all the world than to snuggle you all night, because I've missed you so, so, so, so, so, so—"

Eliza giggles, clapping a tiny hand over his mouth. "Daddy! That’s enough! You're too silly!"

He laughs, pretending to bite her fingers.

" So much." He nuzzles her cheek, sighing.

"But. Grandma and Grandpa and you are going to stay in a very, very fancy hotel nearby.

And you'll come see me every day, and you can order anything you want from the room service menu and grandma isn't allowed to say no, even to dessert for breakfast."

"RUSH!" Evelyn protests.

"Hush, dear," Richard murmurs.

"Could I have pancakes for dinner?" she asks.

"Absolutely. With buckets of syrup."

Another thoughtful pause. "When will we go back to England?"

Rush blows out a breath. "Well…" he looks up, as if the ceiling has answers, then back to her. "This is the hard part, darling."

She nods, looking down at her dress, tapping her knees with her wand. "I need a special treatment, but we haven't got the money for it." She looks him in the eyes, unflinching, braver than anyone I’ve ever met. "Am I going to die soon, Daddy?"

Rush's shoulders shake. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out. He clears his throat, sniffs hard, tries again. "N-no, sweetheart. No." He kisses her head yet again. "Mr. Nick has a friend, you see."

"Mr. Valentine!"

Rush’s gaze snaps to hers with a puzzled frown. "You know him?"

"We met Mr. Valentine and Mrs. Kyrie in Disney, didn't we, Grandmama?

They went on the rides with us, and Mr. Valentine didn't even yell or scream on any of the rides.

And he told me he'd make sure I got all better as soon as possible, even if he had to buy all the hospitals in the whole world.

" She looks at Rush again. "Can he do that? "

"Do which, lovey?”

"Make me all better?"

"Well, no. He can't as he's not a doctor," Rush answers. "But he's something better, in a way—he's very, very, very wealthy. Which means he can pay for the treatment you need."

"But why would he do that?" she asks. “He doesn’t even know us, hardly.”

I answer this one. "Mr. Valentine is part of my family, honey. And he likes to help people. It's one of his most favorite things in the whole world, and he especially likes helping brave, strong, smart little girls like you."

She spends another moment thinking. "Will you have to go to work for him? The bad men who stole me away said you owed your boss money, so you had to work for him and that you were no better than them."

"Bloody mouthy bastards," Rush mutters. "The truth is…

" he stops, looks at her, and starts again "I did have to go to work for a bad person, so I could get you the treatments you need, Eliza.

That's a true thing a lot of people probably think I ought not to tell you.

But I think you can understand, can't you? I tried not to do bad things, but…"

I cut in. "Eliza, when you become a grown-up, things get very complicated. Sometimes it's not always very easy to know what's good and what's bad when you're a grown-up. And sometimes, good and bad get so tangled up that they're all one thing."

"So he had to do bad things for a good reason?" she asks.

I nod. "Yes."

“Like telling a fib, but only so you don't hurt someone’s feelings?"

"Sort of, yes," I say.

She nods, her expression gravely serious. "Daddy, I don't want you to do any more bad things, not even for a good reason."

"I'm trying, sweetheart."

"If Mr. Valentine is going to help me get my special treatment, does that mean you can do work that's only good?"

I reach across him and rest my hand on hers. "Sweetheart, you have my promise that your daddy will be the best good guy there's ever been from now on."

Rush's look, when he meets my eyes, is skeptical.

Eliza holds my gaze for a long time and then nods. "Okay." She scrutinizes Rush's face for a moment and then scrambles off the bed. "It's time for you to rest, Daddy."

This gets a chorus of laughter from all of us.

Rush, still chuckling, snags her hand so she can't escape yet. "Oh? Is that so? Do you say so, Dr. Eliza?"

"I'm not a doctor, silly. I'm only a little girl. But I’ve been sick lots and I know sometimes when you're very sick, you need to rest. And I can tell from your eyes that you need to rest." She prods beneath her eyes. "You've got tired eyes, Daddy."

He sighs a laugh. "You might be right, Lizzy-Bean, you just might be right. But I never got my kisses and squeezes. That's what'll make me all better the fastest."

Lizzy lets out a hysterically adult-sounding sigh of long-suffering. "Oh, all right. But not too many. You need to save your energy. So only…" she taps her forehead with her wand. "Four kisses and four squeezes. You mustn’t overdo it."

"Deal. Now get back up here and deliver my kisses and squeezes, you little negotiator, you." Rush hauls her up one-handed, hiding a wince of pain.

I'd expected him to shower her with playful kisses and faux-aggressive hugs, but he doesn't. Each kiss is delicate and soft and tender—one to her left cheek, one to her right, one to her forehead, and one to the tip of her chin.

And each hug, in the same way, is savored. Gentle. He visibly cherishes each one.

I'm not crying, you're crying.

The last hug is the longest, ending with Eliza whispering in Rush’s ear that she loves him the very most. Richard and Evelyn escort her out, then, and the sound of her voice chattering on fades into the distance.

Rush sags against the bed, exhaustion washing over him in a visible wave. His eyes, closed, are wet with tears.

"Rush," I whisper. "Don't."

He shakes his head. "She understands things she shouldn't have to. God, I'm a shit father."

My bark of laughter is one of utter disbelief, earning me a sharp look from Rush.

"What the fuck are you laughing about?" he demands, ready to be angry at me.

"Rush," I answer, taking his hands in mine. "Nothing could be further from the truth."

He frowns at me, clearly not believing me. "How you figure that?"

"Well…I have to admit, I was shocked to find out you had a daughter. And I…" I sigh. "I have to further admit that I assumed you'd be…"

He arches an eyebrow. "Out with it, then. I'd be what?"

"A deadbeat. Or, at least, absent."

"Well, I have been absent a lot."

I hold his eyes. "Rush, I was so wrong about you. It couldn't be any more obvious that you love that little girl with everything you are. You'd do anything for her. And she loves you just as much. She sees you, Rush. I see you."

Swallowing hard, he shakes his head, looks away. "She's my little girl. You seen her, aintcha? How could you not love her?"

"Rush, you're missing my point."

He locks eyes with me, his wary and hard. "What's your point, then?"

“The whole bad boy thing you've got going on?

Underneath that, underneath the whole street kid, orphan, operator, badass thing, you're a sweetheart.

You're kind. You're sweet. You're affectionate.

You're full of love, Rush. You're fundamentally good.

I just…I think you just don't see it. Because no one's ever told you. "

He shakes his head. "I'm not."

It's my turn to cock an eyebrow at him. "Are you really gonna argue with me about this?"

"Bryn, did you forget how we met?"

"Of course not. But I'm capable of picking up on things called nuance, Rush. We’ve been over what happened, why you did what you did. And I’ve forgiven you, I understand, and I'm moving on.

You need to do the same. You need to forgive yourself.

For that—and for everything. You're a great father, you're a good man, and I'm in love with you. "

He rubs his eyes with his hand. "Dry in here."

I laugh. "Yeah, that's it. Big, tough Rush doesn't get emotional."

"Glad you get it." He groans raggedly. "Fuck. I love you, Bryn. I do. I just…what if I…what I'm not what you think?"

"Got any more secrets?" I ask.

"Nah, I mean, nothing big. Nothing that would surprise you. Things I stole, times I was an insensitive prick to women I shagged, shit like that. But no more secrets."

"Then what's the issue? I'm a big girl, honey. I can decide for myself if you're what I think you are. And I've decided that I love you, I want to be with you, and that you’re gonna work for my dad."

He glances at me at the last part. "Oh, I am, am I?”

"Yep.”

"Okay. I like him. All of 'em." He rubs his face with his palm. "The boy, how is he?"

I sink into my seat. "Alive. Staying with Aunt Cuddy, Aunt Temple, and Mom in our compound in the Keys while Dad and the guys…" I trail off because I wasn't supposed to tell him this stuff.

Oops.

His gaze sharpens. "While your dad and the guys what, Bryn? What's happened?"

"Ahhh…"

"Bryn."

I wince at him. "I wasn't supposed to tell you. It’s not a secret, you just need to rest, and we were worried you'd try to leave too soon."

"Bryn, tell me what's happened."

"Well, we can't get a hold of Cal and Killy."

"Shit."

"But they're on it."

He growls. "They got away, didn't they? Pugli and Mercado."

I sigh, nodding. "Unfortunately, yes."

"And your brother and Cal are missing."

"Along with, um, Story."

"Who's that?"

"Uncle Anselm and Aunt Selah's daughter. Well, she's Selah's daughter, but Anslem adopted her.”

"And she's missing, too?" He thuds his head backward against the bed. "And I’m stuck here."

"But Rush, baby, Cal and Killy know how to take care of themselves. They both have the same training as I do. Story, too. Story maybe even more so than Cal, Killy, and me. And now it's not just dad and the uncles out there, it's the Broken Arrows, too."

"What about RMI?"

"Oh, well, they had another case come in, but, they’re on call if we need them.” I rest my hand on his thigh again. "So you just focus on getting better."

His eyes fix on my hand. "How much better do I need to get?"

I glance at the door, then at him. "Rush, not here."

"I can't think of any better medicine than you," he murmurs.

I sigh. "Trust me, I need some of your medicine just as bad. It's been a very long time since we were well and truly alone." I thread my fingers with his. "So your motivation to listen to the doctors is me, okay? Because I need you, but I won't risk your recovery."

He closes his eyes with a pissed-off groan. “It might be weeks yet before I'm released, Bryn. How'm I meant to survive all that time without you? My poor balls will explode."

I laugh. "Poor baby." I lean close and whisper in his ear. "If you're very, very good for the doctors, maybe I'll see what I can do to help you out."

He looks at me, eyes glinting with mischief. "Maybe we'll help each other out."

"Rush, you're on supplemental oxygen. Vigorous exercise is definitely a no-no."

He smirks. "Doin' a bit of wiggling with my fingers don't exactly count as vigorous exercise, I don't think."

My face heats—and my belly. And certain southern locales. "Rush, don't be ridiculous."

He pats the space next to him where Eliza had been. "Come here, love."

"Fine."

I round the foot of the bed to his other side, carefully moving the various cords and tubes and wires so I don't lay on, pinch, or dislodge anything, and then settle in cautiously against his side. I rest my cheek on his shoulder, careful to make sure I’m not putting pressure on his chest.

“Okay?" I ask.

He sighs happily. "Be better if you were naked and I was inside you, but this'll do for now, I guess."

I laugh. "I'd rather you be inside me, too, honey. But I'm not going anywhere. Get better and I promise you, we'll spend at least a week fucking like jackrabbits."

He doesn't respond as I'd expected. He kisses my forehead the way he did Eliza's—tenderly, lovingly.

"Sweetheart, I'll do so much more than just fuck you.

" He puts his lips to my ear. "I'll make love to you until you can't take anymore.

It'll be sweet and soft, and it'll be hard and fast, and everything in between. "

"Promise?" I whisper.

"Promise."