Page 20 of Defending the Post (The Complexity of Love #3)

Chapter Ten

Beyond the Baseline

Marquise

“ E rin, stop playing with me. You waited until I got on the road and now, you’re too busy,” I said.

I paced the floor in my suite, heated that I couldn’t get to L.A.

“I have to work, Marquise. I don’t have millions of dollars in my checking account stashed away,” she said.

“Excuses. You can’t direct a photo shoot and talk to me at the same time? Tell Jhae you need to go home,” I said.

This sixteen game road trip had already pissed me the fuck off.

Going from having a warm body underneath you to an empty bed had me on edge.

Erin had been moving funny for two days with this “I’m at work” bullshit and not wanting to kiss me before I left.

She was too worried about Jhae and Malcolm instead of me.

“Marquise, I’m not doing that. We can talk after the game. I promise I’ll watch and wait up to talk,” she said.

“Oh, I have to wait a few hours to talk to my woman,” I said.

“Can you calm down? Please go to treatment for the game and I promise to wait up,” she said.

“Bye Erin,” I said and hung-up mid-conversation.

I flopped on the couch scrolling through my phone searching for something or someone. My thumb hovered over Camille’s name, but I couldn’t push the button.

Weirdo

Did you hang up on me? Boy fuck you. Don’t call me tonight.

Instant regret draped my shoulders. Erin did not play about me hanging up. Once she said boy fuck you, she meant that shit. My anger converted into begging.

Me

Baby I’m sorry.

Me

Baby.

“Your abandonment issues are showing,” Malcolm voiced from the opposite side of the room with folded arms. The last thing I needed was him preaching to me about my trauma. I punched the call button on Erin’s name, but she sent me to voicemail.

“Fuck,” I said through gritted teeth.

Malcolm migrated across the room, sitting next to me. Without thinking, we propped the same leg on the coffee table. Sometimes being a twin was awkward.

“Bro, you got to deal with your issues. You’re trying to trap her on the phone with you because you’re scared,” he said.

I shifted my head in his direction, unable to find a response because he was right. Long road trips had now become a new source of anxiety for me. I couldn’t monitor Erin’s whereabouts and, I dare say, control her location being miles away.

“She isn’t going anywhere bro, but you gon’ run her off with this bullshit you pulling.”

I rubbed my forehead, as the shock of losing her covered me. Damn, I was fucking this up. This was probably the reason I avoided relationships. I didn’t know the playbook. My issues were bleeding into my communication with Erin.

“Bro, she wouldn’t kiss me in front of you and Jhae. She is ashamed of what we are doing. It made me nervous and triggered my anxiety,” I said.

“What exactly are you two doing?” he questioned.

I sighed. “She thinks we’re friends, but I’m obsessed with her sexy ass. I’ve been blocking numbers left and right. I ain’t had sex in weeks. I told her she is my woman, but we haven’t discussed it again,” I said.

“Finally, my older brother is in love,” he said.

“What!”

“Marquise, everything about you changed. Your entire world has revolved around Erin. Blocking women, weeks without sex, kissing a woman in the mouth, demanding quality time. You’re doing it without effort because you want to. Erin is worth it. Hell, you are,” he said.

Malcolm’s synopsis of my behavior slapped me hard and fast. I’d been moving differently without thought for a woman. We hadn’t even approached sex and yet I’m considering taking a fine to get to L.A.

“Don’t do nothing stupid, Marquise. Erin is the perfect match for you. She isn’t boring nor is she a pushover. It eases my mind that she’s home with Jhae.”

“I’m glad she could be of service to you,” I said, as he tapped my chest twice.

“Call Dr. June. If you want Erin, you got to work on yourself. Nobody is perfect. I crash out too but mine are more contained,” Malcolm said.

I cackled at his comment because he was diabolical with his antics. Malcolm chose to use his intellect and outsmart you.

“You got twenty minutes,” he said.

“For what?” I asked.

“I set you up for a meeting with Dr. June. I knew you were going to need it. You were stuck under Erin for a week and a half. Being gone for sixteen days is gon’ kick yo ass. I’m not dealing with the mood swings,” he said.

Malcolm stood on his feet as I peered up at him and laughed. My phone sounded off.

“I sent you the video link. I’ll give you some privacy. Thank me at the wedding,” he said.

Malcolm exited the room, as I shook my head in disbelief. Before my visit, I sent Erin flowers with a note.

Me

Weirdo, can you please stay up for me?

Me

I miss you and I’m anxious.

Shit, she got me begging. I’m down bad. Right now, I’m glad I listened to Pops and refrained from sex.

I would have been on a jet heading to L.A.

or made her follow me to each city. Clicking the link, Dr. June’s face appeared on the screen of my propped phone.

She appeared the same with her short gray hair and warm brown skin.

“Marquise, it’s been a while but I’m glad to see you,” she said.

“Yeah, it’s been a while,” I confirmed, diverting my eyes.

I’d been avoiding the hell out of Dr. June because I hadn’t kept to a plan or commitment. The last we talked, I was supposed to establish a relationship with Toni, but I detoured. Truth is, I wanted Toni to go away. We had enough going on with the family without her trauma.

“I want to reset the rules,” Dr. June said.

Finding her eyes again, I stared into my phone.

“From now on, when you log in, let’s go right into the anger. Give me everything hidden in your rib cage. I want the cursing, screaming, yelling version of you. Let me have it,” she said.

My eyes widened at her comment.

“You’re not Malcolm. We don’t have to be calm. I want to meet the real Marquise, not the polished version everybody wants you to be. Let’s go. Tell me how I pissed you off,” Dr. June said.

I shrugged. Hell, she asked for it.

“I stopped coming to these bullshit ass meetings because I’m tired of you pushing me to reconnect with Toni. I don’t care for the bitch. I hate her,” I said.

“Keep going,” Dr. June said.

“She isn’t a victim. She trash as fuck. What a dumb bitch! Who let’s someone take their kids. I know Malcolm’s giving her money, and when I find out I’m going the fuck off,” I said.

“Yea, because you have to protect Malcolm. You can’t have him connecting with her side of the family and leave you,” she said.

“Exactly. He is fucking gullible. Without me, he would be messed up. I’m already sharing him with Jhae.

Mom isn’t any better, I swear her, and Malcolm don’t listen.

She accepts Toni but beefing with Jhae. She been making terrible ass decisions lately.

Letting Ivey attend college a year early.

She barely got a driver’s license. I told Mom the accelerated program wasn’t a good idea,” I said.

“Right. You can’t have her going to college, getting a boyfriend, and leaving you. Who gon’ protect her while you’re playing basketball,” Dr. June said.

I rocked my head back and forward because we were finally getting somewhere.

“She’s not ready for the real world. Ivey most likely will end up living with me anyway. I’m trying to get a handle on things, but Mom and Malcolm keep resisting,” I said.

I stood from my chair and threw a pillow at the wall before I sat back down.

“The family is fucked up. There are cracks in the foundation,” I said.

“Right, you should throw another pillow,” Dr. June said.

I stood and threw another pillow at the wall. My chest tightened as I tried to push air through. I lifted my phone, chest heaving with anger.

“And my woman is acting crazy. All I asked her to do was stay on the phone with me until the game. Afterwards, fall asleep with me on the phone. I’m trying to make sure she is cool while I’m on the road.”

“She should be thankful. You’re trying to protect her and make sure she stays put and doesn’t leave,” Dr. June said.

“Finally, somebody with some common sense sees it. I do everything to protect them and they still... they still want to leave me,” I stammered.

Warm tears poured from my eyes, kissing the skin on my cheeks. I sobbed as a ball formed in my chest and my throat burned.

“Marquise, I’m here.”

Erin

Me

Fuck you

I stuffed my phone in my pocket, pissed the fuck off. Marquise expects me to stay on the phone with him the entire time he’s gone.

“Jhae, turn your head a little to the left,” the photographer said.

In my opinion, we had the album cover shot in the first ten minutes, but he needs to make his money. The denim jacket hung off her shoulder, showing enough skin to tease. I opened my phone and took a few random photos to use for a cover reveal.

“Let’s do an outfit change and move to the exposed brick,” the photographer said.

Jeff

The venue is yours. We need the deposit.

Me

I’m on it. Send over the contracts.

I texted an old connection, securing the medium-sized Chicago venue for three days. Everything but Marquise had been working out for me.

“You cool?” Jhae asked.

I smiled, but she didn’t buy it. “Give us ten minutes,” I said to the wardrobe department.

My eyes watered as I focused on the ceiling. “I’m sorry it’s unprofessional and it won’t happen again,” I apologized to Jhae.

She cuffed her arm in mine, encouraging me to walk. “What’s going on with you and Marquise?” she asked.

I released the pinned air in my lungs. “He is impossible. Marquise doesn’t respect that I work for you.

He always wants me on the phone with him.

We are on the verge of announcing your tour dates, and I’m going to be busy.

I respect his profession, but he doesn’t respect mine because he knows you, Jhae,” I said.

She chuckled. “What are you and Marquise, anyway?” she asked.