Page 44 of Deception & Daylight (Oak Ridge #3)
“I think I changed my mind.” He tugs on my arm one last time, spinning me into his chest, where he kisses me roughly.
My fingers tangle in his golden tresses, and the urgency to leave evaporates.
He buries his fist in my wet hair, tugging ever so slightly at the roots, and the promise of pain with pleasure has goosebumps erupting along my arms. “Be a good girl,” he murmurs before striding off into the bathroom, leaving me weak in the knees.
When I pull open the door to Chapters & Brews, the chatter momentarily stills as all eyes snap to me, the smell of roasted coffee beans and new books hanging heavy in the air. “Sorry I’m late.” I quickly find a seat between Paige and Lucy, avoiding the knowing stare from the latter.
“Well, at least she’s on theme for the book we’ve been reading,” Ivy teases, taking in my obviously disheveled state.
I throw up a middle finger and pull out my annotated book.
We’ve just finished a particularly steamy romance with more smut than plot, and the red tabs in my book are a testament to just how much I enjoyed it.
“Alright. Initial reactions?” Ivy asks.
Rosie’s the first to chime in. “That scene on the stairs… is that even possible?”
“Yup.”
The word tumbles out before I can stop it, and Paige’s shoulders shake from the force of her laughter. “This is gonna be so much fun,” she says.
I sink further down in my chair, hiding my face in my palms. “I’d very much like to disappear.” My voice is muffled by my hands, and I have to tamp down on the urge to flee as I catch Lucy’s smirk out of the corner of my eye.
Ivy snorts. “Given the present company, I won’t ask you to elaborate on that, but I want details later,” she says with a bemused expression. “Did anybody not finish the book?”
Olivia shifts uncomfortably. “Yeah. Uh. It was a bit much for me,” she admits, twisting the hem of her shirt.
“I agree. It was a lot of dick, if I’m honest,” Mo adds, ruffling the green half of their split dyed hair. “I barely know what to do with one, let alone three.”
Nana Sofia opens her mouth to speak but thinks better of it when she catches Paige’s eye.
Paige looks horrified by the insinuation and I’m just thrilled the attention has shifted away from me.
“Oh, don’t you look at me like that. I might be old, but I’ve got a good fifty years of sexua l exploration under my belt, poodle. Ever heard of a key party?”
“Oh my god!” Paige shrieks. Nana winks at me, and I can’t help the bark of laughter that escapes. Fuck, I’m gonna miss this when I leave.
The discussion shifts to the meager love triangle subplot, and the consensus is to select something a little more plot focused for the next book.
The meeting winds down, and we break off into groups.
I find Callie at the snack table, filling a plate with chocolate desserts.
“Who makes these? They’re like crack,” she says, shoving a chocolate truffle into her mouth.
“That would be Olivia. She’s a magician with baked goods.”
“So. Miles Barlow on the stairs…”
“With a giant dick? Yep.” I quip, giving my answer like it’s a game of clue and I just got dicked down by colonel mustard in the library with a candlestick or something. “Honestly, I’m not entirely sure how we managed it.”
“You go, girl,” she says, licking the chocolate off her thumb, making no attempt to hide her interest. “He’s a lucky man.”
Before I can respond, her phone rings and she excuses herself outside to accept the call.
“Now who’s got the good dick glow?” Ivy says, echoing my sentiment from last year when she and Luca got together. “Happiness looks good on you, Mags. You seem lighter.”
My instinct is to deny her observation, but that would be an outright lie.
I am happy, I’m just scared of the implications.
What does it say about me that I want to run at the first sign of permanence?
The truth is, I don’t know what home really feels like.
I’ve never had a family outside of the man who pawned me off on nannies, and the best friend I forced myself upon in college.
Nobody has ever made me feel like staying until now, and that thought is utterly terrifying.
“I know that look. It’s the same one I saw in the mirror before I fled to Colorado. You’re getting in the way of your own happiness. And for what? Is it because you’re scared to love? Or are you scared to let yourself be loved?”
I take a step back as her harsh words hit their mark. “Don’t sugarcoat it, Ivy. Tell me how you really feel.”
“It’s not about how I feel, hun. That man would burn the world down for you just to build it right back up if you let him.”
“And you think I should let him?”
“That’s not for me to say. I know you have your own history that nobody else is privy to. You have to decide if it’s worth letting that go so you can be happy. My advice? Put him out of his misery, Mags. He’s been pining after you for years.”
I scoff at that, knowing he couldn’t possibly be pining when he’s the one who left me .
But the incredulity is short-lived as reality sets in — I already have let it go.
Our past no longer haunts me like it once did, despite the fact that I still have unanswered questions.
None of it matters now, because when push came to shove and I needed a lifeline, Miles was there.
And he’s been there every day since, slowly piecing me back together.
It doesn’t matter what came before, because I’m falling in love with Miles Barlow.