Page 19 of Deceived by the Highlander (Daughters of the Isle #2)

A s Freyja walked with her grandmother in the direction of the stables, she told herself not to glance over her shoulder at Alasdair. But she couldn’t help herself.

He stood where she had left him, watching her, a brooding expression on his face, which lightened when their gazes meshed.

Her heart squeezed in her chest, which was absurd nonsense since a heart could do no such thing, and yet there was no denying that was exactly how it felt. Her heart hurt because she could see no way forward where she and Alasdair could possibly be together.

Unless she turned her back on the Deep Knowing.

She stumbled on the uneven path and hastily returned her attention to where they were going before she fell and broke her ankle.

That was all she needed, on top of everything else.

If she believed in such things, she’d almost think it was a warning from their Pict queen foremother, for daring to even consider leaving Eigg.

For wishing, deep in her heart, that she could wed Alasdair Campbell.

“This is a great shock to all of us.” Amma’s voice was low as she paused beside the stables, out of sight of Alasdair. “Tell me what ye are thinking, Freyja.”

“What does it matter what I’m thinking? It cannot be, can it? Alasdair has told me plainly he won’t leave his castle and live at Sgur.”

“It matters to me, and that’s why I asked the question.”

Freyja swung about and gazed at the mighty stronghold, where its stone walls had weathered the fierce elements and harsh sea air for over three hundred years.

She loved Kilvenie Tower almost as much as she loved Sgur Castle, but she’d never planned on living here on Rum when her grandfather passed.

It was one thing to visit, but she belonged on Eigg.

Yet Alasdair had asked her to go with him to the Highlands. And part of her wished desperately to go, in a way she had never wanted to live on Rum.

But her feelings had nothing to do with the place, did they? It was Alasdair she wanted to be with, and Eir help her, she’d even want to be with him if he decided to make his home in England.

“I’m thinking this is an impossible choice.” She took a deep breath and once again faced her grandmother. “Afi wants me to break the sacred pledge of the Deep Knowing.”

“In fairness, Ranulph doesn’t know of the Deep Knowing.” Amma sighed deeply. “Nor did yer father. ’Tis not a thing for men to know.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Of course she knew only the women of their line were aware of the covenant the Pict queen had bequeathed to her descendants.

The bloodline of the Isle must prevail beyond quietus.

She pushed the familiar words, that now sounded ominously like a threat, to the back of her mind. “But he knows the daughters of Sgur are committed to Eigg. Yet he wants me to break that promise for him.”

But it wasn’t Afi’s insistence that she wed Alasdair that troubled her so. It was because she wanted to wed him, even though it meant she’d be turning her back on the Deep Knowing.

“We are in agreement in this. But ye still haven’t told me what I need to hear. What are ye thoughts on Alasdair Campbell, Freyja? Is he a man ye can see yerself spending yer life with?”

Stupefied, she stared at Amma. Had she heard right? Of all the things her grandmother might have said, she would never have imagined her asking such a thing.

Amma was committed to ensuring their lineage continued, the way it had for the last nine hundred years. The Deep Knowing was crystal clear. If the daughters of Sgur abandoned the Isle, their bloodline would die.

But that still left the question of Isolde.

Not only had she wed the man she loved and gone to live in the Highlands, but it had been their own grandmother who had hatched the plan years before.

It had gone against everything Amma had taught herself and her sisters, and yet here her grandmother was, asking if she could envisage a future with Alasdair.

Away from Sgur Castle.

She pulled her stunted thoughts together.

“I confess the idea of wedding him is quite intriguing.” Well, she certainly wasn’t going to tell Amma she couldn’t wrap her mind around the thought of Alasdair being her husband.

Until a short while ago, she’d not had thoughts of taking a husband at all, and now it seemed both of her grandparents were hellbent on marrying her off.

’Twas more than that, though. Of all the men she’d met, Alasdair was the only one who had captured her interest. Right from the first moment he’d strolled into the stables while Ban had birthed her puppies.

Hadn’t she secretly known in her heart that he was the only one for her?

Amma shuddered, and Freyja shot her a look of alarm. For a moment, her grandmother had seemed so frail, as though everything had briefly become too much for her. But Amma was the strongest woman she knew. The thought of her breaking under pressure was something she couldn’t bear to even consider.

“What is it?” Her voice was hushed as she took Amma’s hand.

Amma straightened her shoulders and gave her familiar smile, the one that had reassured her all was well from the time she was a small child.

“My heart doesn’t want ye to leave, Freyja. My heart didn’t want Isolde to leave, either, despite what ye may think of the circumstances. But it’s not always possible to follow one’s heart.”

Unease gripped her deep inside. “Ye’re speaking in riddles, Amma. I’m not like Roisin, who understands such vagaries. Tell me plainly what ye mean.”

Her grandmother’s smile was sad. “Ye’re so like yer mama. She had no time for my—” She cut herself off and shook her head. “Never mind. Ye recall the reason why I arranged for Isolde to wed William Campbell?”

Of course she did. Because, inexplicably, her grandmother had decided she needed to act on the strength of a few wild dreams she’d suffered over the years.

Freyja had thought the whole thing madness last year, and she hadn’t changed her mind. It was simply fortunate her sister and William had fallen in love regardless.

But she didn’t want to risk upsetting her grandmother by reminding her of her skepticism, so she merely nodded. “I do.”

“Those visions are not the only ones I’ve had.”

Visions?

Since when did disturbing dreams become visions ?

And then Amma’s meaning hit her.

“Ye’ve had dreams that I must leave Sgur?” Her voice was hushed. Maybe she’d misunderstood, but she knew she was right. Why else would Amma have mentioned it?

“They started once Isolde left the Isle. I refused to think of them. I didn’t want to lose another granddaughter to the Highlands. But as ye see, some things cannot be ignored.”

“Ye had these dreams for more than half a year? Amma, maybe ye simply need a soothing remedy to help ye sleep more easily.”

“Ah, Freyja.” Tenderly, her grandmother stroked her cheek.

“If only everything could be solved by a healing elixir. But the moment I laid eyes on Alasdair Campbell, I knew he was yer destiny. And then yer grandfather, who knows nothing of the gift I inherited from our foremothers, tells me ye must wed the Campbell for yer own safety.”

“But...” Her voice trailed away as her grandmother’s revelations thundered through her mind.

She believed in the evidence of her own eyes, not airy-fae dreams that foretold the future.

And it was the first she’d ever heard that their foremothers had possessed any such thing, let alone that Amma believed she’d inherited it.

“What of our bloodline, Amma? Must its continuation fall to Roisin to keep the Deep Knowing alive?”

“Sgur needs only one daughter to remain to fulfil the queen’s will.

Perhaps that is why two of ye must leave.

” Amma gripped her hand and there was no trace of the vulnerability that had fleetingly clouded her eyes.

“I understand this is hard for ye to accept. It’s a part of me I don’t often share.

As ye know, so many of the ancient ways and beliefs aren’t always accepted now. ”

Well, that was true enough, although thankfully the power of the poppy was slowly being rediscovered. But that was medicine, and her grandmother spoke of things that could never be proved.

“I don’t know what to think.” She shook her head and took a deep breath. “Ye’re saying I should turn my back on the Deep Knowing and agree to Afi’s request?”

“I’m saying the Deep Knowing and my visions are entwined, Freyja.”

Unnerved by that surreal remark, Freyja had the urge to pull her hand free and step back, but she was frozen in place. How could leaving Sgur and abiding by their Pict queen foremother’s dying wish possibly be anything but incompatible?

But if it was true, it meant she could truly consider the possibility of wedding Alasdair without guilt eating her alive.

To be sure, marriage wasn’t something she’d ever craved, like some lasses she knew. But she couldn’t lie to herself. Hadn’t Alasdair caused her to rethink everything she’d ever believed in from the moment they’d met?

He even respected her healing skills, and that wasn’t something to be taken lightly. But would he mind his bride continuing her calling, or would he expect her to devote all her time to more conventional duties as befit the wife of a grand laird?

And then shame burned through her as she realized what she’d so unforgivably forgotten. “I cannot leave my patients, Amma.”

“Ye’ve been teaching Laoise. Yer patients will be in good hands.”

“But—”

“Do ye not trust her?”

The question took her aback. “I do. She’s meticulous.

But...” Her voice trailed off. For so long she’d been the only one among the healers on the Small Isles who knew the medicinal secrets of the poppy.

But now Laoise understood its properties, some of the others might be willing to learn of its wonders, too.