Page 18
Present Day
W e’re doing the right thing,” a male voice is saying. “I know it’s hard, but like I’ve said, you have to know when to let go.”
The voice is coming from right above me. It sounds like Clarence Bowman, my lawyer, but that wouldn’t make sense. My eyes drifted shut after Albert injected the sedative, and when I now try to open them, they won’t open on my command. Is that because of the vecuronium bromide?
The beeping has also become much louder. It always sounded distant when I heard it in the past, but now it feels like the source is right in the room with me. Directly above my head.
Beep, beep, beep, beep . . .
“It’s too soon.” It’s Noel’s voice, suddenly in the room with me as well. Why is he here? Chaplains aren’t allowed in the room during executions. “It’s only been a month. She ... she still might wake up. It’s possible, isn’t it, Dr. Bowman?”
“I’m sorry, but the chances are remote.” It’s the voice of my lawyer again, Clarence Bowman, but why did Noel call him Dr. Bowman? “She hasn’t made any attempts to breathe on her own since the accident. The scans show her brain is more blood than brain. At this point, I would say there’s no hope of her ever waking up.”
Not making any attempts to breathe on my own? I try to open my mouth to ask what he’s talking about, but then I realize there’s a tube down my throat. I try to swallow, but the pain is intense. My throat feels like it’s on fire. And that beeping is relentless . How can anyone stand it?
“You can’t do this.” It’s Noel again, his voice choked up. “You’ve got to give her more time ...”
“I’m sorry.” Bowman— Dr. Bowman—sounds genuinely sad. “Your wife has an advanced directive, though. She didn’t want to be kept alive this way, and we have to honor her wishes. We’ve waited as long as we can. We even had Father Decker come in yesterday to give her last rites.”
“ No. ” I become aware of the sensation of Noel’s hand gripping mine. I try to squeeze him back, to let him know I’m still in here, but I can’t. I can only lie there, letting the machines push air into my lungs. “Please, no. Please don’t do this, Dr. Bowman. Not now ...”
“Rhea washed her up and brushed her hair this morning,” Dr. Bowman says in a gentle voice. “Now she’s going to inject a sedative in her IV, and then we’ll turn off the ventilator. She’ll go quickly after that.”
“Don’t worry.” It’s Rhea’s voice now, speaking in that same gentle tone. “It will be quick and she won’t feel any pain. I promise.”
Noel squeezes my hand tighter. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard him cry before, but the sound is unmistakable. “Wake up, Talia,” he pleads with me. “Please wake up. I love you so much.”
“She knows you love her,” Rhea tells him. “I’m sure she knows. And now she’s moving on to a happier place. This will release her.”
Noel doesn’t reply. He’s still crying.
“Okay then,” Dr. Bowman says. “I’m turning off the ventilator now.”
Noel clings to my hand as the last whoosh of air is pushed into my lungs. And then the sounds around me fade out slowly, like a song that is coming to an end.