Page 41 of Death of the Author

41 Homecoming

When they arrived at O’Hare Airport, saying good-bye to Marcy, Hugo, and Uchenna, who were traveling on to Boston, was difficult.

They huddled together in a tight hug at an empty gate, glad for the privacy. The press couldn’t get inside the airport, so

this moment was golden to Zelu. They brought their foreheads together and Marcy started crying. Hugo was breathing heavily,

holding back tears. Uchenna was very still and quiet.

“You guys... Thank you for coming with me,” Zelu whispered. She hesitated, a hitch in her chest. “I love you guys.” Immediately

she wished she’d kept her big mouth shut. These were words she spoke to no one .

“I love you all, too,” Hugo said. “Zelu, thanks for inviting us. My life is changed... and not in a bad way. Not all. Though

I need therapy.” They all giggled. They all did. “Nigeria... wow,” he continued. “But with you... and you and you, as

a white man, I know I am blessed by all this.” He started sniffling.

“We’re bonded,” Uchenna said. He glanced at the three of them and then just shook his head and said nothing else.

“Zelu,” Marcy said. “You’re astounding.” Uchenna and Hugo both laughed in agreement. “No one... I repeat, no one has ever run thirty-five miles on exos. The balance, endurance, the tolerance , it’s all mind-blowing.” She let go of everyone and grasped Zelu’s cheeks, looking deep into her eyes. “You didn’t know what

you were doing. You were just surviving . But, woman, you just sent everything we are doing—the company, the research, the hardware—into orbit.”

“We’re family,” Hugo said. “But I hope you’re open to also becoming part of the company.”

Zelu nodded. Marcy gave her a tight hug and kissed her on the cheek.

“We’ll work it out,” Hugo said. “There’s going to be a ton of media and publicity.”

“I’m... I’m down... I think,” Zelu said. “I don’t know anything about business.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Hugo said. “The four of us. Marcy, Uchenna, after you both graduate—”

“You don’t even need to ask,” Uchenna said.

“Yeah,” Marcy echoed.

Zelu looked at the three of them, feeling a swelling in her heart unlike anything she’d ever felt before. She smiled and shook

her head, stepping back. “Text me when you each get back home.”

“One more thing,” Hugo said. “Post a thank-you to your fans. You know they were the reason the police got there so fast, right?”

Logically, Zelu knew that. And yet...

“They’re not all bad,” Hugo said, reading her expression. “A lot of people out there love you. Remember that.”

But isn’t that “love” what made all of this happen in the first place? , she thought darkly. She’d shared herself in her writing and many had enjoyed, learned from, been entertained by, and even

grown and been healed by it. This was a beautiful thing. But in doing all this, she’d also made herself vulnerable. And being

vulnerable could translate to being in terrible danger.

She didn’t want to ruin this moment, so she only smiled and hugged Hugo one more time. She knew he was right, but she just couldn’t pro cess that at the moment. After she left them, she went to baggage claim. She walked quickly, but still, fans managed to stop her for autographs. She scribbled and quickly got moving again. If she didn’t, people would gradually surround her and soon she’d be pressed into a corner, and once that happened, being all alone, she’d never get out. She arrived at baggage claim and immediately spotted Chinyere, Tolu, and Folashade, carrying Cricket in her arms. She smiled tentatively at them, feeling a twinge of guilt. She’d once again dragged her family through drama.

“ Zeluuuuuuu! ” her older sister shouted, throwing her arms wide. Zelu hesitated and then grinned and threw herself into them.

“Oh, I’m so glad to see you,” she said, pressing her head into Chinyere’s shoulder. “So, so, so glad.” Her sister squeezed

her back tightly.

“Oh, thank goodness!” Tolu said, wrapping his arms around them both.

Tolu’s wife was crying as she joined the group hug, little Cricket hugging and squeezing Zelu’s head as she laughed. Zelu

shut her eyes and inhaled the mingling of all their scents. None of them had wanted her to go to Nigeria. They’d said it was

unsafe and that she was being naive... and they’d been right. She hugged them tighter. When they all finally let go, she

wiped her tears and asked, “Where’s Mom?”

“Oh, she’s at home,” Chinyere said.

“Let’s get your bags,” her brother said, pulling her arm.

“Which are yours?” Folashade asked, already looking over the rolling belt.

“Hang on,” Zelu said. “Chinyere, how come? Mom always likes coming to the airport.”

“She... she just wasn’t feeling well,” her sister said, with an edge in her voice that made the hair on Zelu’s arms stand

up. “Go get your luggage. You’ll see her at home.”

Zelu grabbed her sister’s shoulder. “ Chinyere... what’s wrong?”

“Get your luggage,” Tolu said more firmly. “You always have these people following you around, listening, then it winds up

in the media. Let’s get out of here.”

“Fine, let’s get my fucking bags,” she snapped, turning to the baggage carousel. She pointed. “Ah, there’s one.”

They found her other bag a minute later and made their way to the exit. Once in the car, she turned to Chinyere in the driver’s

seat. “Is Mom okay?” She was lightheaded as she braced herself. She could almost hear her brother, behind her, holding his

breath. Zelu heard Folashade sniff in the back seat. She looked back at her sister-in-law. Folashade was crying, her daughter

worriedly pressing her head against her mother’s arm. Chinyere turned the car off and just sat there and sighed.

“Chinyere,” Zelu asked again. “What’s going on? Where is Mom? ”

“At home !” Chinyere shouted back at her.

“No shout,” Cricket said.

“Is she okay?!” She looked back at Tolu. “Someone tell me something! Tolu! What?!”

Tolu, who sat behind Zelu, leaned forward. “Mom is... We happened to all be at the house when I saw your live feed start.

Except Chinyere; she was working. We were watching it from the beginning. Uzo was the one who reached Auntie Mary through

Facebook. Some of your fans reported your location. Uzo got the government involved and all that. Then all we could do was

watch. Mom was watching... She shouldn’t have watched...”

“She got quiet, then she was wheezing,” Folashade blurted, her eyes starting to glisten. “She said she felt like she was passing

out.”

“Honestly, Zelu, it reminded me of you,” Tolu said.

Zelu nodded, understanding all too well.

Chinyere suddenly shouted, her voice making everyone jump. “Why couldn’t you just stay here, like we all told you so many

times! What does your family know, huh? You had to go to the village like a crazy person and it nearly got you killed! You’re

so selfish !”

“Chinyere, stop,” Tolu said.

“No! I won’t, Tolu! She... she went to MIT and messed up her whole body. Who knows what those... those mechanical crutches

are going to do to her in the future. Can’t even accept the path God gave you after you went up in that tree. You . You horrified Mom and Dad! After they begged you not to. Your head’s all swollen because you wrote one book . One. Something anyone can do if they waste their life messing around like you!” Her sister was shaking so hard now that

Zelu swore she could feel it rattling the car, but all she could do was stare. “Now you go to Nigeria, you get kidnapped,

and then you put it all online for Mom to see! Why’d you have to show the world your own mistake?! And now it’s broken Mom’s

brain!”

Silence fell on the car like a heavy, wet, moldy blanket. Zelu felt like all the air around her had suddenly solidified. Her

chest was heavy. She could not move. Her sister’s words hung in the air. Chinyere was staring at her.

Everyone waited. Really waited. Waited for Zelu to burst into flames. Even with little Cricket there. Zelu stared back at

her sister, a million responses flickering across her tongue. Then she just... turned away. Chinyere had spoken to her

like this so many times. There was nothing more to say to that. All she could really focus on was the news about her mother.

“Life is so complicated,” Zelu whispered. Her throat felt tight. She glanced at Chinyere. Her sister sneered and put the keys

in the ignition.

Zelu turned to the window, her face tight. She reached into her backpack for her AirPods. She pressed them into her ears.

She canceled all the noise around her. She didn’t hear the car start. She didn’t hear anything else any of them said. She

shut her eyes, and it was like being in the void of space, where everything was small, contained, distant, and vast.

When they pulled into the garage of their parents’ house, Zelu slowly opened her eyes and tapped her AirPods. The noise of

her surroundings rushed in like the wind. She weathered it. Her siblings, Tolu’s wife, and Cricket got out, and so did she.

“Tolu, can you bring out my suitcases?” she asked. “I’ll call the autonomous vehicle to take me to my place from here.” She

wasn’t about to ask any of them to drive her.

He pulled out her suitcases as the others quickly went inside. She followed them in, pausing when she stepped into the hallway. She looked around for a moment. The house seemed smaller, shrunken.

“Mom?” she called.

“Zelu!” her mother said, rushing up the hall. She grinned, looking into her face.

“Hi, Mom,” she said. “Made it home.”

Her mother looked suddenly shy, lowering her chin. “Did they tell you?”

Zelu nodded.

“Used to have them often when I was a girl,” her mother confessed. “I didn’t want to tell you...” She sighed, shaking her

head. “Anyway, I learned how to handle them... like you have.”

Zelu glanced at Chinyere, who was standing behind her mother.

“I’m all right now, Mom,” Zelu said, hugging her mother.

“Zelu’s going back home tonight,” Chinyere interrupted. “She just wanted to say hi.”

“Do you want something to eat first?” her mother asked. “You look hungry.”

Of course Zelu was hungry.

Two hours later, Zelu called the autonomous vehicle and went home. The doorman helped bring her things up to her condo. Only

when she’d shut the door behind her and heard the doorman walk away did she let herself cry. She stumbled to her desk chair

and sat in it. She shed her exos and then let her body sulk.

“Zelu.” The voice came from behind her.

“ What the fuck?! ” she shouted, holding her chest. She wiped the tears from her eyes and blinked. “How long have you... Msizi! What the

fuck!”

“Got here yesterday,” he said. “I came the moment I saw your broadcast. I was ordering my ticket while you were still running.”

“From Durban?”

“Los Angeles. I’ve been in the US for a bit. Business trip.” He knelt down and took her hands. She hadn’t seen or spoken to him since she’d left, and a part of her had yearned for him the entire time. They gazed into each other’s eyes for a while.

“I like the sideburns,” she finally said.

“I like your blue braids.”

“I gave my mom a panic attack.” Tears stung her eyes and then dribbled down.

He sighed, letting her feel sorry for herself.

“Did... did you go see her?” he asked softly.

“Yeah.”

Then she spoke the words that she could never have spoken to anyone else in the whole world. “Do you think it was... my

fault? She said she hasn’t had that happen since she was a kid.”

Msizi looked at her quizzically. “Were you trying to get kidnapped?”

“No!”

“Then it wasn’t your fault. Plus, your mom is okay.”

Zelu exhaled and leaned back in the chair. “What the fuck do I do now?”

“You keep living your life.” He took her face in his hands. “Stop beating yourself up over everything.”

“I can’t.”

“You can.” He squeezed her hands, and the warmth felt more like home than anything in the last few weeks had. “By the way,

are you aware of what you just did for Yebo? I have serious investors now. Ten of them!”

“No way.” Zelu grinned, feeling her chest and cheeks heat with surprised joy. “Oh, hell yeah. Man, that app helped me so much

that night. That’s awesome, Msizi!”

And then he kissed her and his lips were both soft and firm, and for once she was falling and she was glad for it. Her face

was still wet and puffy with tears, but none of that mattered. He smelled of sandalwood, and he felt like joy and security

and relief and lightning.

However, she still could not sleep. She didn’t think she’d ever sleep again.