Page 46 of Dear Roomie (Classic City Romance #1)

James

O utside, rain falls in heavy sheets, battering against the window of Chelsea’s apartment. Its constant droning covers all other sounds, creating the illusion of complete isolation. It’s as if the brick-walled living room exists outside of normal time and space.

Or maybe it’s me who’s disconnected.

Loneliness and I have become well acquainted over the past three weeks. I’ve been an island adrift in an empty sea .

Evelyn and Chelsea know something is wrong, but they haven’t had the time to grill me for answers. They’ve both been too busy figuring out their post-grad plans. I’m grateful for that. I don’t think I have it in me to try to explain my relationship with Morgan to them—or how I fucked it all up.

Every time I think about him, my heart pangs with a familiar dull ache.

He’s been home more often since I broke things off with Tanner, but he still keeps his distance.

I didn’t know I could miss someone I see every day, but I miss him so much it hurts; I miss our nerd show nights, I miss doing school work together at the tiny kitchen table, I miss finding his notes in the bathroom, I miss spending hours talking about anything and everything that came to our heads, and more than anything, I miss seeing his smile and knowing I was home.

The only thing I don’t miss is my asshole ex-fiancé.

Going from talking to him every day to never talking to him at all was jarring, but the sadness never came.

I grieved that relationship long before it was over, so when the final nail was hammered into the coffin, there was nothing left to mourn.

The twins are a different story, though.

Their absence cuts me clear to the bone.

Tanner hasn’t let me talk to them. He claims I lost that right when I threw a decade of commitment in his face.

I claim he should shove my foot up his ass, and the conversation typically devolves from there.

He is handling the breakup about as well as I thought he would, which means he’s turned into a vindictive ass. If it wasn’t for the girls, I would block his number and be done with him, but I’m not giving up on them. They might not be blood, but they are my sisters too.

A pillow hits the side of my face, yanking me out of my pensive brooding.

“Are you even listening, Jamie?” Chelsea asks with a huff.

“What? No. I’m sorry, can you repeat that.”

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at my response. “I said I got invited for a second interview at Galvtek this week.”

“Really? That’s awesome. I’m sure you’re going to blow it out of the water.”

“I hope so. I’ve deferred other offers for the off chance Galvtek will hire me. ”

“They would be fools not to.”

She is going to kick ass and take names wherever she ends up, but the thought of her leaving sucks.

Evelyn too, although she is still waiting to hear back from several schools before she makes her final decision on her graduate program.

Regardless, both girls are on tracks that will lead them out of Athens, leaving me completely alone.

Well, alone except for Morgan, but as it stands, that’s the same thing.

He told me he needed time, but at this point, I’m not sure if that will ever be enough. I might have done irreparable damage.

“Have you figured out what you’re doing yet?” she asks.

Shit .

I haven’t given any thought to my post-grad plans. As much as I loathe to admit it, Jacqueline was right. I had been coasting by on the assurance that I would have a position waiting for me at Niarris. I can confidently say that option doesn’t exist anymore.

I hadn’t even thought about that. Fuck . It’s mid-March, and I haven’t even started applying for jobs. I’m so fucking fucked. I’ve been so caught up in the shit show that is my love life that I’ve neglected my future.

My dad is going to kill me.

I need to get my resume together and start applying, but I can’t go too far. I won’t leave Athens, not when there’s still hope for Morgan and me.

“No, not yet,” I admit with a grimace.

“Where have you applied?”

“I haven’t,” I tell her and look out the window again. I don’t want to see the disappointment on her face.

“Jamie,” she admonishes.

“I know. I know. But after everything with Tanner”— and Morgan —“it just slipped my mind. ”

“Well, let’s put some applications in now.” She straightens up from her reclined spot on her favorite chair and grabs her laptop. “Do you have access to your resume?”

“No.”

“That’s fine. I can write one for you pretty quickly if you tell me the information. Evelyn, will you help put together a list of potential employers?”

The next two hours pass by in a daze as Chelsea takes charge of my floundering future. Between the three of us, we’re able to put in a couple dozen applications. I know it’s not enough, but it’s a start, and her version of my resume is better than anything I’ve ever put together.

I’m really going to miss them next year; I don’t know how I got so lucky with my friends.

The rain slows to a gentle patter and eventually stops completely as the sunlight dims. The sky remains covered in a blanket of looming gray clouds, threatening to unleash another downpour.

Evelyn and I gather our things and move toward the door.

With any luck, we’ll make it home before it gets too dark or the sky opens back up.

We only make it a few steps into the hallway before Evelyn stops me by placing her hand on my forearm.

“Jamie,” she says, then sucks her bottom lip between her teeth.

As I turn and face her, she drops her gaze to her feet.

“I-I need to tell you something,” she all but whispers. Her hand falls away from my arm and joins her other to fidget in front of her chest.

“Jesus, you sound like you’re about to tell me you killed someone. Just spit it out, it can’t be that bad.” I laugh off her odd behavior, but it sends a shiver of dread down my spine and into my gut.

She swallows and steels herself to meet my stare. “I kissed Morgan,” she blurts on a single breath before peering at the floor again.

“You did what?” I snap and jerk away from her as if the words were a slap .

Jealousy rears its ugly head, but this time, the beast is bolstered with the fiery breath of my rage.

How could she do that when she knows…she…

fuck. I never told either of them the extent of my feelings for him.

I’ve not been subtle—she wouldn’t be apologizing otherwise—but never once did I say “Hey, guys, I’m in love with Morgan, so back off.

” She would never do something like that if she knew it would hurt me.

I never had a right to lay claim to him anyway, not when I was still with Tanner.

That doesn’t keep her confession from hurting; it does, however, soothe the raging beast enough that I no longer want to claw at her face.

“I’m so sorry, Jamie,” she rambles. “I was a bit tipsy, and you were engaged, and Morgan said anything between the two of you was over because of the whole Tanner thing, so I figured I would shoot my shot. It was beyond awkward. No sparks, nothing…”

“Evelyn—” I try to stop her stream of words, but she keeps going.

“We both agreed it was best if we forgot it ever happened, but I couldn’t keep it from you. Especially not now that you’re single. I’m so sorry, Jamie. I—”

“Evelyn. It’s fine,” I say, and I’m shocked by how much I actually mean those words.

“Really?” She looks up at me with a glassy but hopeful stare.

“Yes. Like you said, I was engaged. Morgan and I weren’t even talking to each other at that point.”

“But—”

“I promise. I’m not mad.”

It’s a lie. I am mad, just not at either of them; all of my anger is directed at myself.

I’m the one who screwed everything up and lost Morgan before he was ever mine.

If I could go back in time and do things differently, I would have ended things with Tanner at the beach.

Dragging things out only hurt everyone more in the end.

“Oh.” Her face pinches for a moment before she shakes it off and gives me a tentative smile. “Good. How are things with Morgan? ”

“Complicated,” I sigh. “He said he wants to give me time to heal.”

“What do you want?”

“Him.” I don’t even have to think about it. The only thing I want is his forgiveness and for things to go back to the way they were before. I would take friendship. Anything is better than not having him at all.

“Oh, Jamie. I’m sorry.”

“It will be fine. I’m being patient. I have to have faith that things will come together in the end.”

I’ve repeated those words to myself more times than I can count, but at this point, I’m not sure if they are true.

I don’t know what happens when the princess strays from the words written on the page.

Her happily ever after was promised with the prince, not the knight, and now that she’s gone rogue, nothing is certain.

All I can do is pray that she’s still the hero in this tale because the villain never gets true love in the end.