Page 13 of Dear Future Husband (The Dearly Written #1)

He retreated a step and slanted a guilt-ridden look to Trey, who still stood with me. His mouth opened and closed, suggesting he wanted to argue something, but he dropped his shoulders.

“I know you’d never hurt her. You’re nothing like Clayton. I was caught off guard by this. You never told—you never said anything about—” Liam’s words stumbled, proving the number of drinks he consumed.

“She’s my sister,” he said, as if it could explain everything. Trey nodded in understanding. I huffed with annoyance.

That brought my brother’s attention back to me. “I’m sorry, May.”

Silently, I watched my twin, waiting for the shutdown. For us to follow our same patterns by stopping here, but he surprised me.

My brother took a step forward, dropping his beer bottle into the sand as he exposed the palms of his hands to me. “You’re not the only one who’s still hurting.”

The air caught in my throat as Liam heaved a long breath.

“I’m not okay. I act like I am, like I don’t need the therapy Mom has tried to get me back into.

I pretend I don’t wake up every night, scared that I’m in that house again.

I act like I’m happy when I really feel like my life is a split second away from combusting.

Like I’ll blink and be back in that life where I had no power—where I had to survive the pain because I wasn’t strong enough to fight back.

Thinking I was alone and happy to be alone if it meant I could protect you from the shit I lived through every day.

Not realizing you were going through your own hell all alone. ”

Liam didn’t cry as he took another timid step forward. I didn’t cry as he put his face in his hands and growled into his palms. Trey remained silent behind me as Liam looked up at me and smiled sadly .

“I am so broken, May, and I can’t stand to face it.

So instead of talking, I pretend I don’t see it.

I don’t open up to Mom when she asks if I’m okay.

And I don’t cry when I remember what it was like to be helpless as someone took their sick desires out on me.

I smile and I move on.” He scrubbed a hand over his face, tears welling up in his blue eyes, his balance barely swaying.

“I’m so sorry, May. You deserve a better brother than me.

You deserve…so much more—" He didn’t finish as he fell to his knees in the sand, sobbing.

I couldn’t move. No longer because of my instinct to freeze, but from pure helplessness. This type of vulnerability was something I never witnessed from my brother, and I was lost. Terror of saying or doing the wrong thing paralyzed me.

“…we have to live again, despite the fear, and it all starts with a leap .”

No more thinking, no more fear—I leapt for my brother. I fell to my knees before him and I pulled him into my arms, letting him cry in my hold. Liam’s sobs shook his whole body, and I clung to him with all my strength. Silent tears fell down my face. “Shh, Liam. I have you.”

Twisting to peer over my shoulder, I looked up at Trey, who watched us, his green eyes glossy.

“What can I do?” he mouthed to me.

Remembering he had my phone, I asked, “Can you call my mom?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, he nodded, stepping away as he pulled my phone from his pocket.

I continued to cradle Liam in my arms, even as his sobs slowed to heavy breathing. I basked in the moment of connection, of no longer feeling lonely in my pain, as much as I hated to see my brother hurt.

“May,” Liam groaned.

“Yeah?”

“Can we go home? ”

I let out a breathy laugh as I tightened my hold on my brother. “Mom is on her way.”

Nodding, he shifted so his forehead rested on my shoulder, still sitting knee to knee with me.

“May.”

“Yeah, Liam?”

He sniffled and then groaned obnoxiously. “You really got a thing for my best bud?”

Scoffing, I shook my head. “I’m not talking about this with you.”

He shuddered in my hold as he nodded. “Yeah, I don’t want to think about it either, but I need you to know he’s great. Despite the crap, I said, he’s good. I just—I’m broken and drunk. I’m a broken drunk,” he sighed, and I cinched my arms around his middle.

“Oh god,” he moaned. “Don’t do that. I’ll puke all over you.”

Cautiously, I let go of my brother, moving my hands to his shoulders. I held him out, far enough for me to see him clearly. Smiling, I brushed a few curls from his forehead. “Puke on me and I’ll kill you.”

Eyes closed; Liam smirked. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Liam,” I whispered.

He squinted one sapphire eye open at me.

“I’m broken too,” I admitted, a sad smile on my lips. “Maybe, from now on, we can try to talk more? Fix the broken pieces together?”

Closing his eyes again, he rocked back and forth on his knees like he was nodding with his whole body. “I’d like that.”

“Hey, May.” I turned to see Trey approaching, his expression riddled with guilt. “Sorry to interrupt, but your mom is almost here.”

Nodding, I faced Liam, cupping his face in my hands. “Can you go wait up at the road for Mom? I’ll meet you up there.”

He snorted, as he pulled my hands from his face and wobbled to his feet. “Yeah, yeah, just wait until I’m out of hearing distance before anything happens between the two of you.”

My face turned tomato red. “Liam,” I tried to scold, but he waved me off as he stepped up to his best friend.

He grabbed Trey by the back of the neck, bringing the boy to him.

Their foreheads rested against each other as he said in a breathy voice, “I love ya. You’re my brother.

” His other hand lifted to grip Trey’s shoulder.

“But I’m gonna kick your ass when I’m not seeing three of you.

She’s my sister, you sick bastard, and you didn’t tell me. ”

Chuckling, Trey mirrored Liam’s hold. “I’d expect nothing less. I’m sorry, Liam.”

Liam pulled away, flapping a hand at Trey as he began trudging up the sand to the road. “I’ll forgive you when I’m sober,” he called back.

When I turned back to Trey, he was staring at me, stone-faced.

He looked uncomfortable, almost as uncomfortable as I felt.

Seeing him in the intimate quiet reminded me of our almost kiss…

What would that kiss have meant? I now knew if I could have any superpower, it would be mind-reading, so I wouldn’t be so confused by the boy in front of me.

Did Liam’s frustrated, drunken rant have merit?

Was I just another name on a list, or did I mean something?

I shook my head with a mix of exasperation and confusion. Those were questions and thoughts for another day. For right now, there was one thing I hadn’t said to the brave boy before me that I still owed him: “Thank you, Trey.”

The corner of his mouth twitched up.

I braved on. “Thank you for looking out for me and making tonight very…memorable.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Yeah, very memorable.” His tone and eye roll insinuated it would be memorable for all the wrong reasons. I almost agreed with him, but hesitated.

Tonight really wasn’t the worst I ever experienced. It was, in truth, a very exhilarating night.

Tonight, Daniel was awkward, Clayton was horrible, and the Liam situation hadn’t started out too great, but Trey… Trey was perfect. He rescued me, held me, made me feel seen. I lived tonight. I made memories, good and bad ones. That alone felt almost worth it. So, I shook my head.

“Tonight was memorable…unforgettable, in the best way possible.”

Eyebrows raised; Trey let out a hearty chuckle. “Well, that might make you the easiest girl ever to impress.”

Gradually, his features shifted to a serious expression as he moved closer.

“I meant it earlier today when I said that I plan to get to know all of you, Maybelle. You’re not a high school finale.

” He punctuated that with an irritated scoff.

“You’re so much more…you’re—you’re…” He paused, wetting his lips with the flick of his tongue.

“You’re endgame for me,” he said this with so much finality and admission that my breath hitched.

What did endgame mean exactly? I didn’t know, but how he said it, how he looked at me, made me quake with excitement to find out.

I smiled at him. Now lacking the ability to properly communicate or function, I left him with my smile. Then trotted through the sand to meet with my brother at the edge of the road where our mom soon parked.

I walked off that beach happy with hope dancing in my heart. I felt a change in my gut, a renewed elation for reality and what life had to offer me. I didn’t like to be alone. I missed being a part of a team, a part of life.

Regret coiled in my chest, but I quickly quelled it. Life had dealt me a hand that made all of that impossible, but that didn’t mean I had to keep to that path now.

I was safe, free to choose what I wanted, and I wanted to go to college, make friends, date, go to a party or two. I wanted my life back. As I sat in the backseat of my mom’s car, listening to Liam’s drunken snores and the dull tone of the radio, I promised myself that I would choose myself.

“Did everything go alright tonight?” Mom whispered.

I smiled, looking at my brother, whose mouth was wide open as he slept. “I took the leap, Mom,” I said softly from my place in the back seat.

She grinned at me through the rear-view mirror. “I’m proud of you, Lovebug.”

As the car took a sharp corner, I felt something small slip against my hand. My journal, my prized possession. I forgot I brought it with me to graduation so I could finish writing about that morning with Trey.

I didn’t hesitate before flipping to the next open page in the book. I scavenged my pen from the floor and then scribed not only the events of tonight but my promises to myself.

Making them tangible and real.