Page 6

Jude

Snoring and Drooling

After the movie party wrapped up, Jude headed to bed. They’d watched Die Hard , which everyone agreed was a Christmas movie and followed it up with Terminator 2 Judgement Day . He’d gotten a text from Cope showing the kids camped out in front of their living room television sound asleep. He supposed all that dancing had tuckered them out.

It was strange brushing his teeth in Ronan’s spare bathroom, which was filled with tub toys, unicorn bath towels and all of Everly’s hair accessories. Thankfully he’d brought his own toothpaste or he would have been stuck using his niece’s pink bubble gum paste. One sniff of it had Jude’s stomach roiling in protest. He knew this bathroom was a taste of his own future. He had no doubt that within the next few years, Lizbet would be following the hair care regimen favored by Everly and Aurora. Which of course would also herald the arrival of make-up. Lip gloss, blue eye shadow, and dark eyeliner were all ahead for his Lizzy B. Jude grinned at himself remembering he’d been the one to calm Ronan down the first time he saw his little princess wearing shiny lip gloss. Ronan would probably have to do the same thing when it was his daughter’s turn.

After brushing his teeth and washing his face, Jude stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were rosy, courtesy of his fever. He’d taken more medicine before he came upstairs, hoping that he’d be able to sleep through the night.

Walking into Ezra’s room, Jude felt a bit blue. He’d taken a nap in the twin bed earlier, but now, the realization that he’d be sleeping without Cope hit him like a sledgehammer to the chest. He thought to send Cope a goodnight text, but didn’t want to wake any of the kids. He knew how hard it was to have five kids spend the night. The slightest thing would wake Lizbet and it was hard to get her back to sleep.

Jude knew one night without his family wasn’t the end of the world. They’d be back together tomorrow and there would be hugs and kisses to welcome him home. That thought put a smile on Jude’s face as he drifted off toward sleep.

He was in that weird space between awake and sleep when a strange noise brought him fully awake. It sounded like a large truck was rumbling down the street. Checking his phone, Jude saw that it was half past three in the morning. There was no way a large truck would be out at this time of day. Shaking his head, Jude figured the sound was a figment of his nearly asleep mind and he snuggled back into the covers. Seconds later, Jude heard the noise again, which was accompanied by the feeling of the house shaking. What the hell was going on?

Jude got out of bed and looked out the window. The street was dark. He didn’t see any cars or trucks driving through the neighborhood and there weren’t any people on the street. Straining his ears, he listened again and all he heard was dead silence.

Convinced the Nyquil was making him hallucinate, Jude got back into bed. He was about to lay his head on the pillow when the sound came again. He got out of bed and grabbed his phone, turning on the flashlight feature. Walking as quietly as possible, he opened the door and peeked out into the hallway. Moving the beam of light, Jude saw it was empty. Both Ronan and Fitzgibbon’s doors were partially closed.

The sound came again and he thought it was coming from Fitzgibbon’s room. Jude pushed the door open a bit, to see Fitzgibbon lying flat on his back with all of the covers and a dozen multi-colored unicorns scattered on the floor. Everly would have a fit if she saw her precious herd being treated like this. He was contemplating snapping a picture when Fitzgibbon let out another rumble, which made Jude jump and yelp in surprise.

“Turn down the television, Jace,” Fitzgibbon muttered, in his sleep. “I hate that horror movie shit.”

Jude agreed completely. He held up his phone to take a quick picture of Fitz. You never knew when blackmail material would be needed. Taking another step toward the bed, Jude snapped a second pic of Fitzgibbon’s wide open mouth and the shimmering puddle of drool on the pillow.

Completely skeeved out, Jude turned and ran into something solid, which shouted and grabbed his arm. “What the fuck?”

“I was about to ask you the same question.” Ronan raised his phone’s flashlight to shine in Jude’s eyes. “What the hell are you doing in here?”

Jude batted at Ronan’s phone, knocking the light away from his face. All he could see were bright green spots dancing in front of his eyes. “I heard a noise and got up to investigate.” As he spoke, Fitzgibbon sucked in a breath and pushed it out in blasts which sounded like machine guns in a war movie. “Christ, he’s shaking the house. What are you doing up?”

“I thought we were having an earthquake, so I got up to check on you dumbasses. That’s when I saw the light in here.” Ronan started to cough. It rumbled deep in his chest.

“Shuthefuckup,” Fitzgibbon mumbled. “Tryna sleep.”

Jude was about to back out of the room when something soft hit him in the face. He shined the light back to Fitzgibbon, who was now leaning up on an elbow, his eyes glowed red in the shine of the light. He held a unicorn in his hand, which he threw with perfect precision, and hit Ronan in the mouth.

“Ouch, asshole!” Ronan grumbled.

“What the hell are the two of you doing in here?” Fitz asked, sitting up. His hair stuck up in all directions. He looked like something the cat dragged in.

“We heard a noise,” Jude said.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of the dark?” Fitzgibbon smirked at Jude and Ronan. Fitz was obviously gathering blackmail material of his own.

“Of course not,” Ronan said. “Your snores were shaking the entire house. I thought we were having an earthquake.”

“My snores?” Fitzgibbon gasped. “You sounded like you were sleeping with a bike horn. And you,” Fitz pointed to Jude, “sounded like you were sleeping underwater.” He grabbed his phone and after a few taps, a video started to play. Ronan’s face, and his own pool of drool was clearly visible. Seconds later, Ronan gulped in a harsh breath, which sounded like his lawnmower when it rumbled to life. A high pitched honk, which sounded like an enraged goose, filled the room.

“No,” Ronan said. “That’s not me. You must have added the sound effect later.”

“What, later?” Fitz asked. “I’m in bed and sick as a dog, I don’t have the time or the energy to doctor a video of you snoring.”

Jude let out a bark of laughter when Ronan honked again on video. “That’s hilarious, Fitz. It sounds like Ronan’s fucking a chipmunk.”

“I wouldn’t laugh just yet, cowboy.” Fitz tapped the screen and the picture flipped from Ronan to Jude, who was sleeping on his left side with his hands pillowed under his face. His mouth was open in sneer, making him look a bit like Billy Idol. The sound coming from his mouth was decidedly not the rocker. His inhale rumbled like a box truck, but his exhale was one long, high pitched squeak that sounded like a balloon when you let the air out slowly.

“That can’t be me.” What horrified Jude more than the sound he was making, was the fact that Cope was right. He’d been telling Jude about his snoring for six years now and Jude always blew him off. He owed his husband an apology, which he would be more than happy to deliver after he got Fitzgibbon to delete the video. “What’s it gonna cost me for you to get rid of that?”

Fitzgibbon snorted. “Nothing. These videos are priceless to me. I’ve already sent copies to my home and work email, just in case one of you tries something stupid.”

“Stupid’s my middle name,” Ronan said, sounding gleeful. He made a grab for Fitzgibbon’s phone and gave it a tug.

Fitz held on tighter, jerking the phone back, sending Ronan’s back crashing into his front.

“Awww, look, Ronan and Fitzy are spooning each other.” Jude laughed, as he continued to shoot video of the tug of war.

Ronan started to cough. His shoulders shook with it. His head rested on Everly’s pillow and seconds later, he was fast asleep.

“What the hell do I do now?” Fitzgibbon asked.

“Find a way to climb out and go sleep in Ronan’s bed or on the sofa.” Jude watched as Fitz wrangled his way off the bed. He stumbled after tripping on a unicorn, but caught himself before he fell.

“I’ll be on the recliner.” Seconds later, Jude heard Fitzgibbon going downstairs.

“Maybe now I can get some sleep.” Jude headed back into Ezra’s room. He looked out the window, across the street to his own house, which was dark. The sun would be up soon and he knew the kids would be excited for Cope to make pancakes with crispy bacon. Wolfie loved to chase Jude around the kitchen with his hands sticky with maple syrup. Jude always let his son catch him. Wolf got such a kick out of slapping his hands on Jude’s cheeks and pretending they were glued to his skin. Jude would miss that this morning.

As he got back into bed, his eyes were misty with unshed tears. He hated being sick, but what he hated more was when his kids weren’t feeling well. He knew it was well worth it to spend the night with his snoring and drooling friends, if it meant the kids stayed healthy.

One thing was for certain, Jude was going to hug the stuffing out of his family when he was finally feeling better.