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,
I’m a bookworm. A physical bookworm. There’s nothing I love more than bookstores, the smell of books, and buying books. I will never own a Kindle. Get the picture?
My personal library is legend, filled with well-read teenage favorites up through the most recent releases from my favorite authors. All of my friends and neighbors are aware of my collection. One particular friend, I’ll call him Damien, recently borrowed a precious book and treated my darling horribly. The book was loaned in pristine condition, but came back with dog-eared pages (!!!), nacho cheese stains on the first page of the book’s climax, and a tear to the back of the dust jacket.
Damien just asked to borrow another book. What do I do?
Signed,
Dog-eared in Dayton
Dear Dog-eared,
My advice is to punch Damien. It’s obvious the man can’t be trusted. He’s not a friend. In my humble opinion, he’s a barbarian. Not to mention a menace to the entire neighborhood. No jury in the world would convict you, in fact you’d probably get a key to the city for your public service.
Bail money available upon request.
Ronan
“Ronan, we don’t punch our friends.” Tennyson patted Ronan’s hand.
“He’s not a friend. Would you let this man near your books?” Ronan sounded as if he was about to go off on a rant.
“No, I wouldn’t let this man near our garbage, but that doesn’t mean he’s a menace to society. Don’t you think the death penalty is a little harsh for crimes against books?” Ten knew he needed to nip this in the bud before Ronan’s passion turned into an Oscar-worthy performance.
“I don’t know, you tell me. Weren’t you the one who wanted to ground Everly until her thirtieth birthday for ripping a page in your Rock Hudson biography?” Ronan smirked, looking as if he knew he’d won the argument.
“That’s different ,” Ten said sheepishly. “I was at a critical spot in the story.” Maybe Ronan had a small point, but Ten wasn’t about to tell him.
“And you left the book where Everly sits to watch her ten minutes of television before bed. It wasn’t her fault she moved the book and the page tore.” Ronan waggled his eyebrows.
“Just whose side are you on?” Ten felt his own temper start to churn in his gut.
“I’m on the side of literature!” Ronan sat up straighter and set a fluttering hand over his heart.
Here comes the drama… Ten snorted, but managed to keep from rolling his eyes. “You know I apologized to Everly for making such a big deal over my ripped page.” Ronan had worked with her to tape the rip and Ronan left a message in the margin apologizing on behalf of their little girl.
Ronan brushed a kiss against Ten’s cheek. “Back to the problem at hand. What’s your advice to Dog-eared in Dayton?”
That was a good question. What was his advice?
Dear Dog Eared,
As important as books are to you, friends are worth more than a book made of pure gold. If you’re unsure about lending this friend a book from your collection, get him a gift card to a local book store and go with him. Show him your favorite titles and tell him why they’re so important to you. Then he can spend his own money on whichever book he chooses. If it ends up ripped, dog-eared, or with a cracked spine, it’s in God’s hands.
Please don’t take Ronan up on his offer of bail money.
Tennyson