Page 6

Fitzgibbon

Dust in the Wind

Walking back to the campsite, Fitzgibbon felt lighter than he had since the knock-down drag-out fight on Tuesday. It felt like he had his friends back again. He hadn’t realized until that moment how lonely he’d been without them. Now that things were back on more solid footing, he felt like he could finally tell Ronan and Jude what was going on with him and Jace.

“I see one of you is starting to get into the spirit of things!” a familiar voice laughed from behind them.

Fitz turned to see the campers from earlier in the day. All three were naked as jaybirds and pointing at Ronan, who was wearing a sodden pair of boxer briefs, which left nothing to the imagination. He carried the rest of his clothes and his waders.

“I fell in the river chasing a fish,” Ronan said with a grin.

“Well, I hope you caught him seeing as though your campsite is in a bit of a mess. Didn’t anyone teach you not to leave food out? This is bear country, boys. You’re lucky something else beat them to the punch. The general store’s got sammiches and hot soup. Catch ya later!” The man saluted Ronan and walked back to his waiting friends.

Taking off at a dead run, Fitz booked it toward their campsite. Tall, dark, and naked wasn’t wrong, their campsite looked like a tornado torn through it. The trash can was knocked over with its contents strewn about. The food cooler lay on its side. All that was left in it was quickly melting ice. A mama racoon sat back on her hindlegs munching on a raw hotdog, while her three little ones were chowing down on barbecue potato chips. The animals looked almost human eating with their delicate little fingers like a toddler with Cheerios.

“That’s my meat he’s got in his mouth!” Ronan moaned when he caught up with Fitz.

“I’m not sure you want him to give it back,” Fitzgibbon said.

“What the hell do we do?” Ronan asked.

“Shoo, asshole!” Jude called from behind them.

“Us or the raccoons?” Fitzgibbon asked with a grin.

“Them.” Jude pointed as the small family of racoons ambled off. The mother had another hotdog clamped in her teeth. She turned around, as if to say, “Gotcha, suckers!”

“Since I’m the only one who’s still dry, I’ll run over to the store and grab dinner,” Jude offered.

“Double portions,” Ronan said. “After all this, I feel like I could eat a horse.”

“Same,” Fitz agreed. “But, I’ll have turkey.” He tossed the SUV keys to Jude and headed for his tent. Thankfully, the racoons hadn’t figured out how to unzip the flaps. Climbing inside, he shut the entrance and changed out of his wet clothes, grabbing a fresh pair of jeans and a New England Patriots hoodie, which smelled like Jace’s favorite aftershave. He’d been wearing it last night when they’d had another discussion about their little situation.

Laying back on his sleeping bag and pillow, Fitz stared up at the top of the tent. It was made from dark blue nylon, but the top was transparent. Above him, he could see dark clouds rolling in. He didn’t remember there being anything on the news about thunderstorms. He supposed the weather was different up in the mountains than it was back in Salem.

Despite the unsolved issue with Jace, he missed his husband. Friday was pizza night. They’d order from Greek Life, mushroom and pepper for Jace and pepperoni with bacon for himself and Aurora. After dinner, they’d settle on the sofa in their favorite spots, Fitz in the middle with his husband on his left and his daughter on the right, wrapped in her favorite Sleeping Beauty blanket. Aurora always picked the movie, almost always a Disney film, and put up a bit of a fuss when the movie ended and it was time for her bath.

Everything in their lives was perfect just the way it was. He and Jace had worked long and hard to get to where they were now, not just at their jobs, but with each other. Their relationship hadn’t always been rock solid and Fitzgibbon was afraid Jace’s stance on this particular issue could possibly be the finish of them as a couple.

“Fitz, Ronan, I’m back!” Jude shouted.

Startling himself out from his head, Fitz unzipped the tent to see Jude unpacking a mountain of food. “What’s all this?”

“Turkey subs and bowls of chili. There are potato chips for the sandwiches and corn bread for the chili. I also grabbed whoopie pies for dessert. “Dig in, guys. I don’t like the looks of that sky.”

“Same,” Ronan agreed, grabbing a sandwich and bag of sour cream and onion chips. He took a huge bite of his sub and turned to Fitzgibbon. “Okay, Cap, spill it. There’s been something wrong with you for a while now. I noticed a while ago, but we weren’t exactly in a good spot to talk about anything.”

“I’ve noticed it too. Let us help,” Jude urged before slurping up a mouthful of chili.

“Like you both helped me into the river this afternoon?” Fitz asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No,” Ronan chuckled, “our advice will be much worse than that.”

“God awful,” Jude agreed cheerfully. “Now talk.” He pointed his pickle spear at Fitz before eating half of it in one bite.

Fitzgibbon sighed. These men were the best friends he’d ever had in his life, even if the last week or so had been rocky between them. “I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me when I tell you what’s going on.”

“We’re your friends, Fitzy. Jude and I are on your side no matter what.” Ronan snorted. “Unless you need advice on growing a patch of cauliflower. If that’s the case, you’re on your own.”

“Jace wants to have a baby,” Fitz said. When there was no outward reaction from Jude and Ronan, he continued, “he wants to have a biological child like you did with Everly and Ezra.”

“And you’d rather adopt” Ronan asked.

Fitz shook his head. Fuck, his friends were really going to hate him now.

“You’d like to be the bio father?” Jude asked, looking confused.

“I don’t want another child. I’m happy with Greeley and Aurora. Our life at home is perfect with our daughter. Jace is finally working fewer hours. We’ve got a schedule for Aurora that works for her. We do sleepovers and go on vacations.” Fitz sighed. “I’m over fifty. I don’t have the same energy for an infant that I had six years ago when we adopted Aurora.” Fitz offered a tight smile. “Okay, rip into me. I deserve it.”

“No one’s gonna rip into you, Fitz,” Ronan said gently. “As Ten always says, it takes two yeses and one no to have a baby. I know he’d like a third, but I feel the same way you do. Things are great now. Ezra is sleeping through the night and will start pre-school in a few weeks so we can get him more socialization with kids his own age. Everly’s got her interests in gardening, playing soccer and spending time with Aurora, Wolf, and Brooke. Adding a baby into the mix would unbalance all of those things, not to mention the fact that we’d be outnumbered. At least now, there’s one kid for every adult.”

Fitz nodded along with Ronan. He had no idea Ten wanted a third child. He felt better knowing Ronan understood where he was coming from. “What about you, Jude?”

“I agree with Ronan. You both have to agree it’s a go or the answer is no. If you go ahead and have this baby against your better judgement, it will make life harder and sooner or later you’ll end up resenting Jace and possibly the baby. That’s not the right environment to bring a child into. I’ll also point out that when you adopted Aurora, you were the one doing the heavy lifting. Jace was putting in sixteen hour days at the Tremont Street Mission. No offense, but I always wondered if he was trying to avoid coming home to a crying baby and a worn out husband.”

“No offense taken.” Jude was right. Jace hadn’t known how to deal with Aurora. The baby was suffering from opioid withdrawal, courtesy of her late mother. It was hell helping her detox. There were nights she wouldn’t sleep a wink and would just scream and cry. “If we had another baby, I wouldn’t be able to be home with him or her the way I was with Aurora. Our hours with the Salem Police are flexible, but not flexible enough for me to be an active captain and a caregiver to a newborn.”

“What reason did Jace give for wanting another baby?” Ronan asked. “Is he planning on stepping back further from his role in the shelter?”

“He hasn’t mentioned working less, although, truth be told, he’s not working the kind of hours he did when Aurora came home. When I asked what was driving this, he just said that he’d been miserable as an only child and didn’t want the same fate for Aurora.” Fitz had also been an only child and that thought never crossed his mind. Did that make him a terrible father?

“I might agree with him if it weren’t for Everly and Wolf,” Ronan said. “The three of them are friends, but they’re also growing up like siblings in this big extended family. Have either of you asked Aurora what she thinks? If you bring another child into the family, she’ll be the one most affected by that. I remember how excited Everly was when Ezra was born, which lasted all of one day having him at home. She struggled being a big sister and it was hard to watch her navigate changes in her life that she never asked for. She was angry at Ten and me for bringing her brother home. It took months to get her back on track and a ton of pep talks from Jude. Remember?”

Fitz hadn’t known Jude had been helping Everly. He’d known his niece was struggling, but had no idea Jude had been involved with helping to right the ship.

“Yeah, those were some hard conversations,” Jude agreed. “To be honest, what happened with Everly and Ezra worried me when Lizbet came home. You guys had months to prepare Everly for her little brother, Cope and I had only a matter of days, and I was in the hospital after having knee surgery and then being attacked by a serial killer.”

Fitz would never forget that day as long as he lived. He and Salem Police Chief Cisco Jackson had been manning the security booth in the hospital when Jude offered himself up as bait to the killer, who’d nearly added Jude to his tally. Cope had been the one who’d taken Lizbet home from the hospital while Jude continued to recuperate.

“Thankfully, Wolf stepped in to be a helper with me not being at home. We had a long talk about how his little sister needed him to protect her and he quickly jumped on board. There was almost no sibling rivalry between them. I hate to say this, but I think Aurora would respond to a sibling the same way Everly did.” Jude wore a worried look.

“You’re right,” Fitz agreed. “Aurora would struggle.” He set his head in his hands. It was great that his friends understood where he was coming from and were on his side, but that didn’t help him solve the problem. “What do I do? Jace doesn’t know I’m not on board with this plan.”

“Why don’t you take Lizbet or Ezra for the weekend?” Ronan sounded almost diabolical. “Don’t let Aurora go anywhere for a sleepover, but you get out of the house for a while to go food shopping or something. Let Jace see what it would be like as a father of two.”

“Wow,” Fitz said. Ronan’s idea had never occurred to him. “How do I tell Jace I don’t want another baby?”

“Just like that,” Jude said. “You owe it to him to be completely honest. Tell him all the reasons why you don’t think this move is the right one for your family and go from there.”

“What if he wants to divorce me because we’re not on the same wavelength?”

“Let’s not think in worst case scenarios,” Jude said. “Get through the conversation and then you can figure out how to move forward together. Don’t forget too that Jace was raised by nannies, tutors and what not. He doesn’t have a lot of hands-on childcare experience. Would you want this child raised by strangers like he was?

Another great point , Fitz thought. “Okay, I’ll talk to him when we get home. I’ll just have to go with the flow even if the worst happens.” As Fitz spoke, thunder rolled through the valley. The wind picked up and it started to pour.

The men scrambled to save what little was left of their dinner from getting wet. Each of them ran for the SUV, which thankfully Jude had left unlocked. All three of them were soaked to the bone. The wind howled around them, rocking the car. Ronan’s tent lifted off the ground and rolled away like a tumbleweed. Seconds later, it was lifted into the air and quickly flew out of sight.

“Christ, this is the end, isn’t it?” Fitz asked.

“Come on Fitz,” Ronan said. “It’s just a thunderstorm, not Armageddon.”

“I meant the end of the camping trip, not the end of us, dumbass.” Fitz laughed. “Although if God decided now was your time to go, I wouldn’t put up much of a fight to keep you.”

“Gee thanks,” Ronan muttered. “That tent had my sleeping bag inside. What the hell do we do now? Go to that little B&B? No one will ever know we didn’t sleep here.”

“They might if we don’t find Ronan’s lost tent.” Jude snorted.

“I’ll call the inn,” Fitzgibbon said, reaching for his phone. “If they have rooms, we’ll pack up and then spend the night in a dry, warm place with WIFI, agreed?”

“Agreed!” Jude and Ronan said together.

In Fitz’s mind, it didn’t matter where they slept. They’d done what they came on this trip to do and that was to get their friendship and professional partnership out of the ditch. Now that they’d done the hard work, they deserved a treat. A hot meal. A warm bed. Dry clothes.

Fitzgibbon’s friends were his friends again. Yes, there were issues waiting for him back home, but in this moment, life was perfect.