Page 39 of Dead in the Water (Lily Larkin Mysteries #4)

Chapter Thirty-Nine

With so much going on at the station, the afternoon flew by. As busy as he was, Flynn still spent an inordinate amount of time with his thoughts on Lily. As soon as the sergeant told him he could leave for the day, all he could think about was checking on her.

After nipping home for a speedy shower and change, he headed out again. He should never have agreed when Lily had asked for space. Not without explaining everything properly.

Maybe a bit of Dutch courage would be useful before that conversation. At the Mermaid Inn, he found Seren chatting to Noah Treneary on the street outside.

Before he could even say hello, Seren held up a finger to silence him, then continued speaking to Noah in an unnecessarily loud voice.

“Do you know tall Sean who works at the hotel?”

Noah scrunched his features up, apparently as confused by Seren’s odd behaviour as Flynn was. “Sean who we went to school with?”

“Yep. That’s the one. He asked Lily out on a date.”

“Right.” Noah pursed his lips and cast a bemused glance in Flynn’s direction before responding to Seren. “Thank you for the information.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied. “She turned him down. Maybe she’ll change her mind, though.”

“Keep me updated.” Noah gave her two sarcastic thumbs up. “I’ll be on the edge of my seat.” He looked at Flynn and shrugged before entering the pub.

With a comically insincere smile, Seren turned to Flynn.

“Was that conversation for my benefit, by any chance?” he asked.

She pressed a hand to her chest and sucked in a breath in a show of mock surprise. “Oh, did you hear that?”

“What’s your point?” he asked wearily.

“I thought I was pretty clear – my point is that Lily is a catch and if you’re not careful someone else will swoop in and you’ll miss your chance.”

“Thanks for the warning.” He glanced behind her, the idea of a drink less appealing now. “How’s Lily doing?”

“She was a little shaken up.” Seren’s features turned earnest. “I was worried about her. I’ve never seen her like that.

She’s okay, though,” she added quickly. “Kit and I stayed with her for a couple of hours and she perked up in that time. I offered to get someone to cover my shift so I could stay with her but she seemed to want to be alone.”

“I was going to call over and check on her,” Flynn said.

“You should.”

He shifted his weight. “Do you think she’ll want to see me? She was avoiding me most of the week.”

“I think she’ll want to see you.” She smiled sadly. “You need to at least try.”

“Yeah.” And he didn’t need to put it off with a trip to the pub. He needed to get on with it and tell her exactly what was going on in his head.

On the promenade, the ice cream shop was all closed up. He rang the bell, then took a step back and craned his neck to look up at the living room window.

Lily’s lips formed the smallest of smiles when she appeared. Opening the window, she didn’t say a word, but dropped the keys down to him. Effortlessly, he plucked them from the air and let himself in.

He smiled sympathetically at the sight of her framed by the doorway at the top of the stairs.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked, fighting the urge to gather her in his arms.

“I suppose so.” Turning, she headed along the hall. “Do you want a drink?”

“Are you having one?”

She shook her head. “Seren kept making me tea. I think I’m severely over-hydrated.”

“Did you eat?”

“No. But I’m not hungry. I’m kind of tired. I was thinking of going to bed early.”

Following her into the living room, he ignored the hint that he couldn’t stay long.

“I want us to talk properly.”

“Can it wait until another day?” she asked, sinking onto the armchair. “I’m tired and I have a headache.”

He perched on the edge of the couch. “Just let me say what I need to say.”

“If it’s about you not wanting to date me, we already talked about it. I don’t think we need to keep going over it.”

“ You talked,” he said. “You didn’t let me talk.”

“Because I knew exactly what you were going to say,” she said, a rumble of anger in her words. “I’m humiliated enough without you spelling things out for me.”

“Why are you humiliated?” he asked, his eyebrows pulling together.

“Because I asked you on a date. And you stood me up. Clearly, we want different things.”

“Me standing you up only reflects badly on me. Not you.”

“It doesn’t even matter.” She rested her head against the wing of the chair. “Let’s just forget it.”

“Not until I explain.”

“You don’t need to explain,” she snapped. “I don’t want to hear your excuses about going back to London in a few months. I’m sure you have a big clichéd speech about how it’s nothing personal, but I’d rather just brush all of this under the rug and forget about it.”

Flynn stared at her while his chest felt as though it was being squeezed in a vice. “I’m leaving in seven weeks,” he said quietly.

Her throat bobbed and when she spoke her voice came out as a raspy squeak. “What?”

“Seven weeks,” he repeated. “And you were right when you said I’m a coward.” Catching her eye, he held her gaze. “I’m already terrified of not seeing you every day, and that’s when we’re just friends.”

“Seven weeks?” she whispered.

He nodded. “I didn’t cancel our date because I don’t want to be with you. I did it because the sergeant had checked whether there was a possibility of me keeping my job here for longer. But I can’t. Which means in seven weeks I have to leave and go back to London.”

A tear slipped from the corner of Lily’s eye and it crushed him.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he went on. “But at the moment, I can’t see a way around it.”

A muscle in her jaw twitched. “I can’t imagine you not being here. You were one of the first people I met here, and it feels like you’re part of the place.”

He smiled sadly. “The sergeant is still trying to make my position here permanent, but it really doesn’t look promising.”

Lily covered her face with her hands. “Seven weeks is nothing.”

“I know,” he said softly while his insides felt as though they were being squeezed.

“Please don’t ever think I cancelled our date because I didn’t want to go out with you.

I’m scared that if something happens between us, I won’t be able to bring myself to leave when the time comes.

” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “But I can’t be a police officer here and if I’m not a police officer… ”

“You don’t know who you are?”

He nodded. “It’s the one thing I’m proud of. I don’t know if I’d even like myself if I wasn’t a police officer. I suspect you wouldn’t like me that much either.”

She blew out a breath and brushed away her tears. “I think I understand that. As weird as it is, my identity feels tied to the ice cream shop. I couldn’t leave it.”

“I’d never ask you to. I see how you thrive here. It’s like it’s where you’re meant to be.”

“So what do we do?”

“I thought about a long-distance relationship… but I’m not sure how realistic it is. My job is full on and I’m not sure how it would work long term.”

“I don’t think I’m cut out for a long-distance relationship,” she murmured.

“Leaving seems really surreal.” He paused and massaged the tension at the back of his neck. “I keep thinking something will change and I’ll be able to stay… If the situation were different…” He trailed off. “I really want us to stay friends, if you think that’s possible?”

She inhaled deeply, then her lips twitched in a hint of amusement. “You’re asking if I think I can contain myself around you?”

“It’s not you I’m worried about,” he said frankly. “Every time I look at you I want to kiss you. And every time I hang out here with you I have to force myself to leave at the end of the evening.”

“Don’t say nice things to me. It’s not helpful.”

“Sorry.”

She lifted her chin. “Can you start sleeping with random women again? It’ll make this easier if I can be annoyed with you.”

“I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

“Flynn!” she snapped. “Stop being nice.”

He laughed, and it changed the atmosphere in the room. “You need to sort your hair out,” he said, pointing an accusing finger. “It’s sticking up all over the place and you look crazy.”

“That’s better.” Flattening her wild hair, she sank back in the chair.

Flynn stood, deciding it would be a good point to leave, despite needing a lot of willpower to get away from her.

“Flynn?” she said, stopping him in his tracks.

“Yeah.”

She hesitated, staring at her hands in her lap. “I spoke to Maria.”

He sat back down. “Oh?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t already know.” She gave a gentle eye roll. “Glynis said she’d told you.”

“Yeah, she mentioned it.”

“Maria’s real name is Gail Greenwood and she owns the shop. Maria is her middle name. Apparently she’s been using it for a long time.”

“Right,” he murmured.

“But she doesn’t know anything about my parents.” Pausing, she took a deep breath. “She only offered to lease me the shop because I asked at the right time and she understood from Mr Greaves that I was interested in leasing it.”

“That’s weird.”

“Not really.” She pushed her hair from her face and straightened her spine. “Everything she said made sense. Way more sense than the wild theories I’d concocted.” She shook her head. “I’m such an idiot sometimes.”

“You’re not.”

“I am,” she insisted. “I wanted to find a connection to my parents, so I made up a story in my head where there was someone out there who knew my parents and who was somehow waiting to be reunited with me.” She wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

“All so I wouldn’t have to face the fact that I have no one. I am all alone in the world.”

“Don’t say that.” Flynn’s throat felt painfully tight. “It’s not true.”

“I have no family,” she said. “How can that be?”

“It doesn’t mean you’re alone.”

“Sorry,” she whispered, wiping frantically at the tears that rolled down her cheeks. “You had a long day and you probably want to get home.”

“I don’t have anywhere to be.” He frowned deeply. “I’m sorry you didn’t get the answers you wanted from Maria.”

“I think deep down I knew nothing would come of it. That’s why I put off speaking to her – because I knew it wasn’t going to lead to anything. I just didn’t want to face the reality.”

He bit down on his lower lip. “Do you think she was telling the truth?”

“Maria?” Her eyebrows lifted. “To be honest, it crossed my mind that she was lying, but that’s probably because I wanted her to be lying. I don’t know why she’d lie.”

“Neither do I,” Flynn said hesitantly. “I think she was lying though.”

Confusion wrinkled Lily’s features.

Flynn grimaced, worried he was about to give her a reason to stop speaking to him again. “I went to see her,” he confessed.

“You did what? ”

He held up his hands defensively. “After Glynis told me you’d spoken to Maria, I was worried about you. Since you weren’t talking to me, I thought I’d speak to Maria instead.”

“Flynn!” She glared at him and he couldn’t tell if she was annoyed or just surprised.

“I probably shouldn’t have,” he continued. “I’m sorry, but…” He trailed off, not even sure what to say.

“You thought she was lying?” Lily asked eventually.

“Yeah.” He thought back on the conversation. “She sounded so guarded. I think she’s hiding something.”

Lily blew out a breath. “I’ve been trying to convince myself that I need to leave it all alone.”

“You can if you want. Maybe I’m wrong anyway. She might have been telling the truth.” He attempted a smile. “Are you annoyed that I spoke to her?”

She shook her head. “No. But there’s not really anything more I can do. If Maria won’t talk, I can’t force her.”

“No,” he agreed.

“I also keep thinking about my uncle. He had his faults, but he always wanted the best for me. I came first in his eyes. So if there were things he kept from me, he did so with the best of intentions. He was keeping me safe. So maybe in this case, ignorance is bliss.”

“That’s not your usual attitude,” he said with a small smile.

“I know, but maybe it should be. I have the ice cream shop, and I’m part of a wonderful community. Things are pretty good.”

“That’s true. It was amazing to see all those boats today.”

“Yeah.” She let out a contented sigh. “I want to be grateful for everything I have. Even if I never find answers about my past, I found a home here. That’s a nice feeling.”

He nodded. Oddly enough, he felt the same about the islands.

He was relieved when Lily moved the conversation to a safer topic – quizzing him about what had happened with Vic at the station that afternoon.

She peppered him with questions as he explained how Vic had walked them through the events of the evening – how he’d drugged the others on the boat and had gone out to wait for Joseph.

After an argument about the sale of the boat, he’d waited until Joseph was on the steps before hitting him over the head with a brick.

It wasn’t a cheerful conversation, but it should have been an effective distraction.

Annoyingly, even as they rehashed the events of the previous days, he couldn’t shift the quiet feeling of dread at the thought of leaving in less than two months.