Page 9 of Dead End (Crossroads Queen #9)

CHAPTER NINE

Goran was kind enough to give up his bed for Libitina. The Slavic prince decamped to an empty bedroom with a sleeping bag and without complaint. Kami claimed the red leather sofa in the parlor room as her sleeping quarters. It was clear neither goddess would be returning to Paradise, but it wasn’t worth discussing next steps until Libby’s condition improved.

I knew I had to deal with Gun’s betrayal at some point. For now, I put a pin in it. I wasn’t emotionally equipped to handle that particular situation; I had to keep my focus on the immediate threat.

I sat at the kitchen table with Kami and Goran while Claude helped Nana Pratt slice potatoes for the evening meal. We had a full house to feed; the ghost was in her glory.

“I’m sorry,” I said to no one in particular. I felt like I needed to apologize to everyone I’d ever befriended. “I should have stayed in London and lived a life of anonymity like I planned.”

Nana Pratt lowered her voice to the level of gentle mother. “It’s too late for that, Lorelei. You don’t live on an island anymore, no matter what that moat says.”

Ray shot her a silencing look. “Seriously, Ingrid. You don’t kick the girl while she’s down.” He squeezed my shoulder. “Relationships come with drawbacks, sure, but the benefits far outweigh those.”

I hunched over the table. “Don’t you see? I’m the drawback.”

Goran looked at me. “Drawback? Lorelei, if it weren’t for you, I’d still be a vodyanoy. You went out of your way to help me when there was absolutely nothing in it for you. And you’re still helping me.” He waved a hand at the ceiling. “You put a roof over my head and food on my table.”

From the countertop, Claude nodded in agreement.

“Technically, I put food on your table,” Nana Pratt said.

I wrapped my hands around a warm mug of tea. “I appreciate you saying that, Goran, but it doesn’t change the fact that my presence puts a lot of you in danger. It’s no good putting a roof over your head if The Corporation is about to blow it off.”

Ray glanced up. “I sure hope not. That’d be a big job for one ghost.”

My brain was spinning with options. “You’re our insider, Kami. What do you think will happen if they come for me and I’m not here?”

“They’re relentless,” she said.

I pasted on a wry smile. “I’ve noticed.”

“They’ll continue to search until they find you,” Kami said. “They’ll hunt you wherever you go.”

Goran eyed me closely. “What are you thinking?”

“That I should let them hunt me.”

He blinked. “You want to be hunted?”

“I want Fairhaven to be spared. If they’re hyper focused on tracking me down, they’ll move on the second they realize I’ve left town.”

Kami nodded. “I think they would. The Corporation tends to attack with surgical precision. It’s how they’ve managed to amass as much unchecked power as they have over the years.”

Ray appeared unconvinced. “I don’t see why they wouldn’t shake down every one of your friends until somebody told them where you went.”

A sound point, as always. “Then I’ll go where they want me to go, and I’ll let them know that I’m doing it.”

Kami’s eyebrows shot up. “You can’t go back to Paradise!”

“No. Not Paradise.” It was somewhere I was bound to end up anyway, and the key selling point was that the people who lived there were already dead. The Corporation would get their wish; they just wouldn’t be able to benefit from it. Once I was safely there, I’d be beyond their control.

“Then where?” Kami asked.

“I’d rather not say yet. I need to call an emergency meeting.”

Nana Pratt glanced up from the potatoes. “At this point, you should simply call them meetings, dear. The emergency is implied.”

I spoke to Kane first. It was only fair.

I cornered him in my bedroom, ironically, as he was unpacking the bags he’d brought from the club. “I need to talk to you.”

He glanced at me as he finished placing a dress shirt neatly on hanger. “You have my full attention.”

“I’ve called an emergency meeting. It starts in an hour.”

“To discuss strategy? ”

I drew a steadying breath. “To tell everyone I’m leaving Fairhaven.” My throat ran dry, and I forced a swallow. “If I go, The Corporation won’t bother anyone here.”

Kane’s whisky-colored eyes turned molten. “No.” He hung the shirt in the closet with a tight, staccato movement.

“This is my decision.”

“And it’s a wrong one,” he said. “It’s a bad idea. I don’t care for it.”

“You would like it even less if everyone around me was dead, including you.”

“Where could you possibly go that you won’t endanger others?”

“Ouch.”

He sighed. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know, and you’re right. That’s why I’m going to the underworld to accept Hestia’s offer to rule.”

He offered a crisp nod. “Good plan. I’ll join you.”

I couldn’t quite meet his gaze. If I looked into his eyes, I’d falter. “No,” I said in a voice too loud and too clear. “I have to do this alone.”

“Why? Hades had Persephone. Why can’t you have me?”

“You’re not a god, Kane. You’re a demon prince from hell.”

He crossed the room to close the gap between us. “Precisely. We’re both creatures of darkness. I belong in the underworld every bit as much as you do.”

“They won’t accept you. They’ll use you as a reason to challenge my authority. Next thing I know, I’ll be fighting off a rebellion like the one you started in hell.” I already anticipated pushback from those who would view me as a stranger in a strange land. A usurper. I wasn’t the same Melinoe they’d known. Having Kane by my side would only exacerbate those issues .

He threaded his fingers through mine. “Then let’s teach them to accept me. Together.”

The dryness of my throat spread to my lips. They felt cracked and raw, just like the rest of me. “I can’t.”

He withdrew his hands from mine. I felt a sudden chill that had nothing to do with the air.

“Have you changed your mind about me? About us?” His voice was surprisingly gentle given the questions.

“No, of course not, but this is bigger than us, Kane.”

“What if The Corporation tracks you to the underworld? You’ll be alone and undefended.”

“It’s where they want me to be.” And even if I was mistaken, the underworld was still a safer place to defend against an attack, far from everyone I loved where the risk of collateral damage was minimal.

“Why not wait until they make their move?”

“Because then it will be too late. Come on, Kane. You know this.” I couldn’t keep the anguish at bay any longer. “Please don’t make this more difficult than it already is. I don’t want to leave you, but this is the best option for everyone involved.”

“Not everyone,” Kane said tersely. “You’re the liminal deity of the crossroads, remember? Fairhaven needs you. I need you.”

“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

“Love isn’t a feeling. It’s a verb. An action word. Show, don’t tell.”

“Now you sound like West.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Dare I ask?”

I wrapped my arms around him. “You know he’s madly in love with Sage.” I kissed him. “And I’m madly in love with you.”

“Then prove it. Take me with you. ”

I breathed in his scent. If only Phaedra could bottle it as a parting gift. “I can’t.”

“Can’t is different from won’t.” He removed my arms from his waist. “You and I had a conversation about our standards and nonnegotiables. Do you remember?”

Of course I remembered. It was one of the most open and vulnerable conversations I’d ever had, with the added bonus of taking place on the rooftop of the Devil’s Playground. It was both romantic and healthy, two things I wasn’t convinced could exist in the same space until I met Kane.

“You asked me, and I said I wouldn’t return to hell to rule,” he continued.

“I didn’t make the same promise.” It was a weak argument, and I knew it, but I didn’t know what else to say.

“You’re running away.”

“Can’t you see I’m saving you? I don’t want this outcome any more than you do. I don’t want to rule, and I certainly don’t want to leave Fairhaven.”

He gripped my shoulders. “Then stay and fight. You’ll have backup.”

I curled my fingers around his. “I’ve caused enough bloodshed. I won’t have anyone else die because I’m too stubborn to know when to quit.”

“This is not the same speech I received when I was up against Lucifer.”

“And look how well that turned out!” I hadn’t intended to shout. Emotional outbursts were uncommon for me, thanks to years of training by Pops. I’d suppressed my feelings for so long, there were bound to be times when I failed to regulate them. It would take commitment and practice, both of which I would have plenty of time for during my years of solitude in the underworld.

It was only the flicker of a bright side when I needed a solar flare .

I hooked my arms around his neck. “Let’s not argue with the little time we have left together when there are far better ways to spend it.”

He slid his hand through my hair at the back of my neck. “You’re going to be an incredible queen. The history books will run out of synonyms with which to praise you.”

I steeled myself against his gentle touch. “You can’t sweet-talk me into coming, Kane. It won’t work.”

“Can’t blame a demon for trying.” He placed a tender kiss on my forehead. “You and I were meant to be together, Lorelei. It will happen, one way or another.”

“Since when do you believe in fate?”

“I don’t, but I believe in us. If there’s even a sliver of possibility for you and me to live out the rest of our immortal lives together, we’re going to find a way to blow that crack wide open.”

“I can’t decide if that’s romantic or unnecessarily violent.”

“Can’t it be both?” His lips found mine. The kiss was intentionally slow, Kane’s effort to remind me exactly what I was leaving behind. There was no need for a demonstration; I already knew. I pressed myself against him, the heat between us so strong that our bodies could’ve melted together if we weren’t careful.

A familiar image shimmered behind Kane. A mage paced outside the gate. His pink cheeks suggested he’d been out there for quite some time, his purple boots wearing grooves into the concrete.

I extricated myself from Kane. “Gun’s here.”

“He’s early for the meeting.”

“He isn’t here for the meeting.” I’d deliberately omitted Gun from the group text message.

Kane cocked an eyebrow. “I’ll stay upstairs then, shall I?”

I planted a quick kiss on his lips. “Only until the meeting.”

As I descended the staircase, I decided to put Gun out of his misery and lowered the ward. He must have felt the shift in magical energy because he was already across the bridge by the time I reached the porch. I observed his flat steps and stooped shoulders. This wasn’t the confident Gunther Saxon I usually encountered. This was a mage that carried the burden of deep regret.

“Hello,” I said, arms folded.

“I couldn’t get past the ward.”

“I know. I blocked you.”

Guilt seeped from Gunther’s perfect pores. The mage couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact. “I’m here for the meeting.”

“You weren’t invited.”

“I’ve entered my Maleficent era and decided to show up anyway.” He stopped at the base of the porch and braved a glance at me. “I want to help.”

I barked a laugh. “Help?”

He winced. “It’s my fault you need to have this meeting in the first place. I’m sorry for that.”

“What about the innocent lives that were lost in Paradise? Are you sorry for that, too?”

His head snapped upright. “There were no innocent lives lost there.”

“You’ve clearly been an assassin too long if that’s your attitude. I told you there were deities and supernaturals there against their will or who didn’t agree with The Corporation’s actions. Do you think Unas bothered to differentiate?”

His chiseled jaw set. “Collateral damage is an unfortunate consequence in wartime.”

“Gun! Listen to yourself.”

“Hard choices had to be made, so I made one.”

I thumped my chest. “It was my choice to make, not yours. You deprived me of agency, and you took lives in the process. Ademir was one of them. ”

Gun snuck a peek at me. “He was one of the good ones?”

“He had a crush on Libby, which showed good judgment, and he could’ve treated me far worse than he did.”

“Not exactly high praise.”

I balled my hands into fists. “He didn’t deserve what happened to him! And Libby is upstairs right now, recovering. Her only crime was being a goddess with nowhere else to go.”

Gun flinched. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“And now I need to leave Fairhaven, leave the Castle, just when Kane and I…” My voice cracked, and I found I couldn’t continue. “It doesn’t matter now. One door closed, and now I’m going to crawl through the window to the underworld.”

Closing his eyes, Gun exhaled through his nostrils. “I’m a top tier douchecanoe. I shouldn’t have followed through with Unas after you changed your mind. I convinced myself I was doing you a favor, that I was making the hard decision you were too afraid to make.”

“I didn’t hold back out of fear, Gun.”

“I see that now. I crossed a line that I shouldn’t have.” His eyes glistened in the sunlight. “If I could take it back, I would. I swear.”

The tightness in my chest eased. I couldn’t judge him by his worst actions any more than I’d want to be judged by mine or Kane by his. It was important to give others grace as well as the space to change or evolve; otherwise, what incentive did they have to try?

“Promise me you won’t do anything like that ever again. When I leave town, that’s it. You don’t mess with The Corporation for any reason.”

“I promise with one caveat.”

My heartbeat changed tempo. “What is it?”

He hopped up the steps to stand in front of me on the porch. “If any of them come for you… If they dare to show th eir faces in Fairhaven, I won’t hesitate to drag them across the border and demonstrate exactly what it means to be a La Fortuna mage.”

“If they were to come, I would fully expect you to defend yourselves.” I cupped his cheek in the palm of my hand. “I love you, Gun.”

He grasped the hand on his cheek and pulled me into an embrace. “I love you, too, Lor.” His voice strained by the time he reached my name. “Maybe one day you can find it in that oversized heart of yours to forgive me.”

The truth was that I’d already forgiven him, but the consequences of his actions extended far beyond me. That forgiveness I couldn’t offer because it wasn’t mine to give.

The meeting was held in the parlor room. It was a full house that included members of the supernatural council, as well as my houseguests. Even Libitina managed to join us. Her dark purple bruises had faded to a pale yellow and she was able to walk without assistance.

I waited for the chatter to die down before I called the meeting to order.

“Before we start, are there any cookies?” Josie asked.

“If I’d had advanced warning, I would’ve been more than happy to bake,” Nana Pratt said with an indignant sniff.

“No cookies, I’m afraid,” I said. A chorus of groans followed.

“Next time,” West said.

“About that…” I inhaled deeply.

“Lorelei’s going to the underworld to accept her aunt’s offer to rule,” Goran blurted.

I turned to glare at him.

He splayed his hands. “I accidentally overheard you talking in your bedroom. ”

“Well, this is an unexpected development,” Josie said, although the vampire didn’t sound nearly as jubilant as I anticipated.

“That’s a terrible idea,” Camryn said. “I absolutely forbid it.”

Gun’s gaze flicked to her. “As much as I want to mock you for that dramatic statement, I wholeheartedly agree.” He turned his focus back to me. “And you know how much it pains me to miss a mocking opportunity.”

“Is this a permanent move?” Josie asked.

“I don’t see how it can be anything else,” I told her. “If I stay, The Corporation will keep coming for me.”

“Then we’ll band together. We can beat them, Clay,” West said.

“At what cost? I’m not going to sacrifice others to save myself. That’s not a fair price.”

“If we do this right, there won’t be any sacrifices,” Josie said.

“We lost Birdie when we didn’t even know the fight had begun. We lost Aite. We nearly lost Kane.” I heaved a sigh of regret. “When The Corporation shows up with the full extent of their power, we’re doomed.” Innocent lives would be lost. I couldn’t have that on my conscience.

“We have an entire guild of assassins,” Camryn said.

“Who are prohibited from killing on Fairhaven soil,” I reminded her. “I’ll not have the rules changed when it’s convenient for me.”

“We can still play defense,” Gun countered. “Accidental deaths…” He offered a nonchalant shrug. “They happen.”

“You’re the last one who should be saying that right now,” Camryn said in a harsh whisper.

Kane cleared his throat. “Lorelei has made her decision. This meeting is a courtesy, not an invitation to argue.”

Gun raised his head to look at me. “Isn’t there a chance your corporate buddies will use one of us as bait to draw you out?” Camryn stamped on his foot, prompting a scowl from Gun. “What? I’m only stating the obvious. If the whole point of fleeing is to protect us, it’s worth exploring the holes in that argument.”

Camryn groaned. “Gods, I hate Pragmatic Gun.”

“You won’t hate me when some goon from The Corporation turns up on your doorstep with a screwdriver and a warped sense of fun.”

“They won’t want to draw me out of the underworld,” I said. “They want me on the throne. They told me as much when I was in Paradise.” And if I’d just agreed to their terms, Unas wouldn’t have happened.”

Chief Garcia’s brows pinched together. “Why do they want you to rule?”

“They basically want puppet governments in all the realms. They planned to send me there with a shock collar and a list of requirements.”

“But if you’re going of your own volition and without their collar, how does that serve them?” the chief pressed.

“It doesn’t, but it keeps you all safe.”

“Won’t they just follow you there?” Leo asked.

“I expect them to try, but it’s much harder for them to infiltrate underworlds. That’s why they had to lure Anubis out of the Duat to capture him.”

“What about the crossroads?” Chief Garcia asked. “We still get the occasional roaming monster, and it isn’t like we have a large population of gods to pull from.”

West’s eyes locked on hers. “We’ve got this, Elena. Between the pack and local law enforcement, we can handle whatever comes through.”

“Can we put this to a vote?” Camryn looked around at the others. “Because I vote no. ”

I shook my head. “This isn’t the guild. My decisions are my own.”

The muscle in Kane’s cheek twitched. “And with that, I think we should call an end to the meeting. Thank you all for coming.”

Nobody moved.

“You heard him.” Josie clapped her hands and urged the visitors to leave.

Kane gave her a pointed look. “You, too, Josephine.”

The vampire pursed her lips. “Can I hang around?”

“I’d prefer that you check on the club. Make sure Alessandro hasn’t made a mess of it.”

“When will you leave?” Gun asked.

“At first light.” I’d wait until tonight to send a crow with a message to The Corporation, making them aware of my decision. I hoped it would be enough.

West gave my hand a firm shake. “Then I’ll see you at the crossroads at daybreak.”

After more hugs and heartfelt exchanges than I’d ever experienced in a compressed timeframe, my visitors filed out the door in a single-file line.

“That’s the saddest parade I’ve ever seen,” Ray said.

“Can you blame them?” Nana Pratt asked. “You heard what Lorelei said. She’s leaving town.”

“I heard.”

“I’m sorry,” I told the ghosts. “I know my decision impacts you, too.”

“You don’t owe it to us to schedule your life choices around us,” Nana Pratt said.

“You can come with me to the underworld, although I don’t know if you’d like it. Otherwise, you can stay here.” I didn’t miss the look that passed between the ghosts. “What? Did you two already make a plan?”

Ray averted his gaze. “We did, actually. ”

A sense of relief rippled through me. Finally, a hard decision I didn’t have to make.

“We’re not going with you,” he said.

“Okay, fine. Then you stay here and hold down the fort. Watch over Goran. Make sure he takes good care of the Castle.”

Nana Pratt licked her chalky lips. “We aren’t going to stay here either.”

My thoughts were scattering in several directions at once. “I have to move quickly. There isn’t time to relocate you to other houses.”

Nana Pratt wrung her hands. “Ray and I have put quite a bit of thought into this. We would like to cross over before you leave, if it isn’t too much trouble.”

I felt like someone dropped an anchor in my mouth. “I’m sorry. I think I misheard you. It sounded like you said you want to cross over.”

Nana Pratt cast a wary glance at Ray. “Yes. That’s what we said.”

“Why would you decide that now? Is it because I’m leaving?”

“The conversation started before you announced your decision to go,” Ray said. “Ingrid and I have been mulling it over ever since Alicia’s news that they’re moving to San Francisco.”

It sounded like an excuse to absolve me of guilt. “You don’t need to leave the Castle because of me.”

“This isn’t about you, Lorelei,” Ray said. “This is about us and what we need. Our families are thriving, which is all we ever wanted. They’ve moved on, as they should, and it’s time for us to do the same.”

“No.” The word sounded garbled, like I’d tried to object while rinsing my mouth .

Ray’s brown eyes brimmed with the pain of a difficult conversation. “Lorelei…”

An idea sparked in my mind. “I can convert you!”

Nana Pratt recoiled. “I’m not interested in that.”

“No, not religious conversion. I mean, what if I could turn you into a god? Give me time. I promise to find a way to deify you, so you can become Lares.”

“Lares?” Ray’s lower lip jutted out. “I’m not familiar with them.”

“In ancient times, they protected households. You could each become a Lar for your family. You’d have to be a statue most of the time, but you’d get to interact with your families.”

The ghosts fell silent, and I hoped it was because they were taking my suggestion into consideration.

“I don’t know that I want to be a god,” Nana Pratt said. “It seems to involve a lot of conflict. At this point, I only want peace.”

“You’ve been working overtime to free gods from their human prisons,” Ray added. “Doesn’t it seem wrong to do to us what you’ve been fighting to undo?”

My heart slammed against the wall of my chest. “I don’t want to lose you, too.” My voice faltered. “I can’t.” Ray and Nana Pratt had become family, and I’d already experienced so much loss in that area. I wasn’t sure I could survive another one.

Ray handed me a box of tissues from the counter. “Now I’m paraphrasing here, but someone once said that it isn’t the desire to stay close to those we love that’s selfish, but if we force them or guilt them into staying for our own comfort … some might argue that crosses a line.”

Great. Ray was throwing my own words of wisdom back in my face. I dabbed at the tears that had gathered in the corners of my eyes. “You make me sound more mature than I am.”

His chuckle was tinged with relief. “That’s the real reason you want me to stay, isn’t it?”

“Of course not. You know why.”

“I love you, too, Lorelei,” Nana Pratt said. “Like you were my own flesh and blood.”

“Mine, too,” Ray said. “And that love will remain with you long after we’ve gone. That’s the beauty of love. It transcends time and space.”

I blew my nose and wiped away the gobs of snot. It didn’t get more inelegant than that. “I love you both so much.”

“Then help us,” Nana Pratt said softly. “Now that we’re brave enough to do what we should’ve done the day you arrived here, let us go.”

Ray’s paraphrase reminded me of Lucifer’s first trial, the one that required me to slay the cursed Kumbhakara. During the pivotal moment, I’d told myself that it was selfish to keep the monster alive for the sake of my own discomfort. I had to let him go, and as difficult as it was, I did.

Tears stung my eyes. “I’ll release you, if that’s what you really want.”

Ray gave a quick nod. “It is.”

“Would it be too much to ask for a group hug?”

Their arms were around me before I could move. I pressed against them both, wishing I could inhale their scents to remember them by. I’d have to rely on my other senses for memories.

They were ghosts, incorporeal but not immaterial. Despite their insubstantial nature, they’d been my anchors in this world. They’d kept me grounded. Made me feel safe at a time when I might’ve otherwise felt like I was falling from the highest mountaintop in the Poconos .

“How do you want to handle this?” I asked. “Should I call Renee?”

Ray nodded. “I was hoping to leave before they did anyway, so this works out.”

“Do you want them here when you cross over?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Ashley and Steven, too,” Nana Pratt chimed in.

“Of course.” I didn’t have the luxury of time. If The Corporation turned up at the crucial moment, the ghosts would be stuck here forever.