Page 22 of Daughter of Genoa (Escape to Tuscany)

‘Someone write to the Pope,’ Silvia said, smiling. ‘A miracle has occurred.’

She meant to cheer me up, I know, but the word ‘miracle’ made me think of Teglio – how close he’d been to dying, the choice he’d had to make – and I hid my face in the damp handkerchief and cried all over again.

‘It’s a good thing Father Vittorio is a priest,’ Silvia said gently, once I’d managed to get myself under control. ‘If he were a man, the ordinary sort of man, he might have been quite put out. Having to console you while you went to pieces over someone else.’

‘I’m not in pieces over anyone.’ I pressed the handkerchief to my eyes so I didn’t have to look at her. ‘I’m just… I’m tired. And shaken. Anyone would be shaken,’ I said, echoing Vittorio’s words.

‘That’s all perfectly true. But, Marta, really…

’ Silvia sighed. ‘All these tears – they aren’t for Father Vittorio, are they?

I know you were very happy to see him alive and well,’ she added.

‘He’s your friend, like he’s my friend and Bernardo’s, and we all care about him very much.

And the good Lord knows that your private concerns are your own, and the last thing I want to do is poke my nose in where it doesn’t belong.

In another world… well, you wouldn’t be living here at all, and all this would be quite irrelevant.

As it is, we’re all here together under one roof, and I know you’ve been keeping busy and trying not to fret about it, because you’re a good, conscientious girl who doesn’t like to be a bother.

But it might just be time to admit the perfectly obvious: that Mr X is someone very special to you.

And that’s really quite all right,’ she went on as I stared at her. ‘It could hardly be otherwise.’

For just a moment, I wanted to confess everything.

It would have been such a relief to tell someone how I felt about him; to confide in Silvia like I would confide in any woman friend.

But once I spoke the words out loud, I’d never be able to take them back.

It was a big secret to unleash in such a small house.

Silvia took pity on me. ‘Look,’ she said, ‘you’re a bright young woman and he’s a clever and charming man, and the two of you spend all that time together doing work that affects both of you, and everyone you love.

You’re bound to trust one another in a way you just can’t trust me or Bernardo or Father Vittorio – because we all want to help, but when it comes down to it, we’re not in your situation.

It would be a wonder if you didn’t fall in love with him at least a little. ’

‘Really?’

‘Really,’ Silvia said. ‘You’re much too young to remember the last war, but you can’t imagine how many love affairs started up then.

It’s a very powerful thing, facing a great danger together.

It creates all kinds of intimacies: some of them survive, many don’t, but they all feel quite real in the moment. ’

‘Yes.’ I hesitated, caught between relief and a sad, painful longing.

‘Then perhaps it isn’t anything… I mean to say…

Perhaps it’s just the circumstances, then.

’ I said it as firmly as I could, but I felt a sharp pang of disappointment deep down.

‘I’m sure it will pass. And I’m sure… I’m sure he doesn’t feel like that about me. ’

‘Well, I don’t know, dear,’ Silvia said.

‘I haven’t seen the two of you alone, obviously, and he’s only ever his usual self around me.

Ever so gallant, of course, but he doesn’t exactly give much away, does he?

Only you know how he is with you in private – and I’m not asking you to tell me anything, by the way.

’ She raised a hand as if to ward off confidences.

‘That’s between you and Mr X. But, Marta, you’re a smart girl.

If you think about how he is with you, if you really think about it, then I’m sure you’ll figure it out for yourself. ’

I thought about how Teglio looked at me.

I thought about how he always seemed to know what I needed.

I thought about his eyes crinkling at the corners, the kindness in his voice, the warmth in his touch when his hands held mine.

And I knew, as I’d never allowed myself to know before, just how badly I wanted each and every one of these things to be a sign that he had fallen in love with me.

‘I don’t know,’ I said, twisting the handkerchief around my fingers. ‘I wish I did, but I don’t.’

‘Well, perhaps you’ll find out,’ Silvia said.

She drained her tea and set the cup down in the saucer.

‘Maybe you’re not the only one who’s had an epiphany.

Anyway, I expect he’ll come past at some point.

Probably not soon,’ she added, ‘so there’s no need to look so startled.

I’d be surprised if he gets here today.’

‘And what then?’ I asked, though I knew she wouldn’t tell me. ‘I don’t know what to say to him, Silvia. I don’t know what to do.’

Silvia got to her feet. ‘Well, that really is up to you. I’m sure you’ll know when you see him. And I know you’re a well-brought-up girl who won’t do anything rash, but still…’

‘Leave the door open,’ I said.

‘That’s right. Now, at the risk of sticking my nose in again, I think you’d better have a little sleep before lunch.

Take this one with you.’ She scooped up Tiberio from his bed and put him into my arms where, docile as ever, he settled against my shoulder and started up his rumbling purr.

His trust was so touching that I felt myself tear up again.

‘Thanks,’ I said, and my voice wavered. ‘Thanks for… for all this.’

‘It’s quite all right. Now go!’ Silvia commanded. ‘Go and get into bed. I don’t expect to see you for another hour at the very least. Preferably two. And if Mr X comes during that time, which I shouldn’t think he will, he can bloody well come back again later.’