Page 55 of Darkest Before Dawn
And we drive through the night. I doze in and out of sleep, my hand in his the entire time. I wake just as the blackness of the sky gives way to a deep midnight blue and swallows the stars within the light. Max pulls off the main road, turning onto a dirt driveway and parking in front of a chalet. He turns the ignition off, climbs out, and opens my door. Then he leads me up worn wooden steps and through the front door.
The inside of the house looks like it hasn’t been updated in over thirty years. Over the fireplace is a family portrait, and I assume that small boy standing next to a toddler with pigtails, and in front of beaming parents, was Max. Through the den, down a hallway, and we come to a door.
A door to a basement.
Max opens it, immediately going down the stairs. When he reaches the bottom, he turns and holds his hand out to me. I lift my bound hands and take hold of him.
“Almost there,” he says. We make our way through a rec room and down another hall, and at the very end is a door—with a lock on the outside.
I wait as he undoes the lock, dropping it to the floor. The door swings open and he allows me to enter first.
The walls are freshly painted. Everything in here is dainty and perfect. My eyes land on a bookshelf on the far wall filled with books. My chest swells and I smile. “It’s perfect. I love it.”
Above the wrought iron bed is a simple black canvas with the Pablo Neruda line:I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul,written in wispy, white letters. That is our line.
Max unties the rope, dropping it to the floor before he spins me around to face him. Gripping the tops of my arms, he leans his head down to rest his forehead against mine. “I thought giving you your freedom showed you I loved you, but I just didn’t understand.”
I swallow. There is so much I want to say to him, but where would I begin? “I begged you not to leave me, Ibeggedyou…”
“I know you did, but I only wanted what was best for you. Never…neverdid I imagine by setting you free I was killing you.” He pauses, swiping his fingers across my neck. “And if this is what you need to know your worth, if you want to be stolen and coveted, I will do that, but that lock, those ropes, we both know there are no need for those. They are just symbols. You understand that, right?”
“Symbols of what?” My brow wrinkles and a slight smirk plays over his lips.
“Love. Because it, in and of itself, is a prison.” He gently tucks my hair behind my ear.
“And one I don’t ever want to escape.”
“Exactly. I had to realize that people like you and I—other people are too sheltered to understand us, they are too simple,” he says. “And we don’t need for anyone to understand this so long as we do.” He kisses me with such reverence I swear our souls bleed together with this kiss. This is a kiss where the very core of who you are becomes intertwined.
Max backs me against the wall. His hands covering me in a frenzy, like he can’t possibly touch me enough. He kisses over my neck, one hand stroking across my throat. “You,” he breathes against my skin. “Nothing else could ever make me feel the way you do.”
Clothes are ripped off and he throws me onto the bed, winding my hair around his wrist and taking me in the way only he can. He fucks me with his movements and makes love to me with his words. He treats me like I’m unbreakable, but whispers to me like I’m the most fragile thing to ever exist. Sweat builds on the small of my back and he grabs onto my hips, slamming me down on the bed before he settles between my thighs. A slight smirk plays over his lips as his fingers wind around my throat. “So fucking innocent, so fucking beautiful.” He bites down on his lower lip before he slides back inside of me. I toss my head back on a moan, his hands still around my throat. Leaning down by my ear, he kisses along my jaw, grazing his teeth over my skin. “Tell me how you feel, Ava,” he whispers.
I stare up at him. In love.Madlyin love. “I love you.”
“As you should.” He slams back inside of me before gripping the sides of my face and dragging my lips to his in a ruthless kiss. “And fuck do I love you.”
And I believe he does. Like no other man ever could.
No onewouldunderstand this. Most people would call us insane, but the thing is, we all have a bit of darkness inside of us. And too often people see this blackened part of our souls as something evil, something twisted and wrong because something tells us everyone should live in the light. But for some, the light of life is just too bright. There must be balance in everything, which means there must be darkness, for without that chasm, light could not exist. And this dark little world of ours—this perfect love—it is the night sky that allows you to see the stars. You see, thereisbeauty within the darkness, if only you teach yourself how to find it.
Sixty-four days in captivity. Two hundred and sixty-five days without him. The rest of my life to be captive to the man who will always own my heart—free or not. Because to be honest, in the sense of love, everyone wants to be held captive.
And where the darkness ends, the dawn begins…