Page 36 of Dark Survivor (The Qaldreth Warriors #2)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Tiny stroked her neck, finding the cool metal disk a little disturbing.

Still, it had made sense to get one. At least it wasn’t a full-on augmentation, and she doubted the Ivoyans got complaints from the users.

She flicked her thumb off her index finger, content to fidget while sitting in silence in the activities room.

After a mind-blowing orgasm from a man who claimed he needed guidance, Nenn had drifted off to sleep.

She’d snuck out, needing a little distance to rein in her thoughts and emotions.

Asking to meet her dad had been sweet, but she couldn’t reveal to Nenn how much she longed to introduce him.

Although, she wasn’t sure her parents would react well to an alien in their apartment.

She giggled, imagining Mom carrying out a lasagna then wondering if Nenn could eat human food.

His questions had made her realize how much she loved and missed them, and how irresponsible it had been of her to not fill them in on everything she’d been doing.

Their only daughter lost in space would devastate them.

Heat fluttered in her core. She pressed her hand to her chest and smiled despite the tears slipping free. At the first opportunity, she’d message them. It was time to face her anger, fear, resentment and put it all behind her.

Someone sat beside her, the fragrances of sun and baked sand settling on her.

“Why are you so miserable, Ulvus?” she asked, hazarding a guess. Her first guess had been Drafe, but she doubted he’d leave Vic for a little chat.

“Why are you?” Ulvus snapped.

She tutted. “I’m blind; what’s your excuse?”

“I lost my arm.”

Shit. My bad. “Oh.” Not willing to back down, she faced him and continued, “Were you this unhappy before that?”

“Yes,” he said. “I had yet to find my place in the tribe. I had no purpose and saw no future where my path would be revealed. You were right. I have been this…jealous. At the time, it was Drafe I envied. No matter what I did, who my family were, it made no difference to how the tribe saw me.”

“So you carry the hatred through to this new life instead of tossing it aside? When it hasn’t helped you once?” She frowned, recognizing the same within her. “Sure, I get that Carne sent out corpse bombs, but justice has been served.”

“Even in this doomed-to-fail mission, he succeeded.”

“You could have played a pivotal role. And remember, the crew isn’t just Drafe. Your name’s on the manifest.” She tried to convey the concept of ‘one for all and all for one,’ but somehow, her brain short-circuited and left her scrambling.

“I do not know how to gain honor,” he all but whispered.

Ahh. Now that made sense. “I suppose it’s like bravery.

It’s in the moments when you are faced with a choice between honor and inaction.

” She shrugged. “Look at me, Ulvus, lost in an unknown world.” Another tear slipped free, but she chose to believe if she couldn’t ‘see’ it then no one else could.

“Sometimes death feels preferable to this existence. I used to be so independent with the belief that I could conquer the worlds despite not mattering to my parents. Now, I’m reliant on strangers…

like a child. My purpose…the impact I so desperately wanted to make…

was gone. Taken from me.” She curled her fingers into fists as if she could rage against the circumstances.

Been there. Done that. “Want to know what’s worse?

” She laughed through the tears. “My brother did this.” She flicked her hand, indicating her eyes.

“Someone I trusted… And I doubt he’s remorseful. ”

“Would it matter if he was?” Ulvus asked.

She stilled, imagining Jamie groveling for forgiveness. The idea didn’t bring her pleasure. “Nothing he could say would undo what happened.”

“You need to let it go… Move on.” Ulvus snorted. “Harder to do than to speak it.”

She wiped her cheeks. “True.” Tossing a smile at him, she said, “Look at us fools stuck in the past. If you figure out a way to forgive and forget, let me know.”

“Habits are difficult to break.”

Wise of him to say. “Also true,” she said. “You count to ten before you react. That will give you a chance to choose honor.”

“You rise to your feet. Standing is a step toward action.”

“I can do that,” she said with her legs akimbo. “Now help me up Nenn’s wall.”

Ulvus laughed. “How do I do that when your arms are too weak?”

She slumped. “I was afraid you’d say that.”

“May I?” he asked and took her hand. What followed was a physio-like examination of her arm. “You have the muscles but are too soft.”

She winced. “That’s bad?” she asked, knowing full well it was.

He chuckled. “For climbing, yes. To lure a male, no.”

She scoffed. “If only. I don’t know what I look like anymore. Just memories of my appearance pre-blindness.”

“Qaldreth do not choose mates based on a shifting parameter.”

“Shifting?” She tried not to let her mind run away with that image. They were aliens after all, and who knew if their faces changed on a whim?

“The passing of time alters one’s features.

Personality is the true attraction. And had you asked me prior to our talk, I would have said the symbiotes have some impact.

I am learning they do not influence one’s hearts.

Drafe and Vic prove that though I do not condone their union because of the unknowns. ”

She remained silent while she mulled over his words. “As long as they are happy—”

“That too is fleeting.” Ulvus ground his teeth. “Everything he touches—”

“Ah, so out of principle you will protest?” She was starting to understand what made Ulvus tick.

“Yes. It is childish to not think of the possible consequences. I have learned this the hard way. If something bad happens, I can say I warned them, but they did not listen. If nothing goes wrong, then all is well.”

“Covering your bets. I get it.” The need to say, ‘I told you so’ crossed species and galaxies. “They won’t understand or thank you for it.”

“I do not need their gratitude.”

Of that, she had no doubt. It sounded like he did nothing without thinking it through first. “When I go back to Earth, will you come with?”

“You…would like me to?”

Why is he surprised? She smiled. “Sure. Maybe you can find ways to be honorable.”

“This is true. I do wish to become an arrak.”

Ambition she understood. “If you have a goal and work hard toward it, then realizing it is a question of time.”

“You believe this?”

“As long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a doctor. Everything I did was with this in mind.” All those hours…wasted.

“Being blind did not stop you?”

“It did for a while. It took me months to leave my bed. Nothing mattered. I had to learn who I was without the goal driving me. It had defined me for so long.” She folded her arms around her waist, wishing Nenn was close enough for a hug.

“My friends fell away, leaving me alone with my parents who had, for most of my life, shown me less affection than my brother.” She sniffed while flicking aside a fresh outpouring of tears.

“I miss my mother,” Ulvus said, breaking the silence and reminding her that she wasn’t alone, not even on a spaceship heading far from all she’d known.

“I miss my dad.” She smiled. “We make quite the pair.”

“We are not mates,” Ulvus snapped.

“Of course not. It means we share a commonality.” She harrumphed, wanting to say, ‘Well, not with that attitude.’ But she didn’t want him to think she was hoping for a dalliance when she had something wonderful starting with Nenn.

Her heart skipped a beat. It had been so long since she last experienced the excitement of the chase. She almost huffed at that thought. Chase? The man had good and proper claimed her in her bed just an hour ago.

“Tiny, Aehort wants to speak with you,” Vaen said, his grouchy tone a clear tell.

She swallowed. Why would Aehort want to see her?

“Stand. Rise. Take one step,” Ulvus said.

She touched air then his hand he must have thrown out to help her. “Thank you,” she said and pushed to her feet.

Veering toward Vaen’s voice, she pictured in her mind’s eye that he waited at the doorway to the wide passage leading to the bridge—left with the galley to the right.

She trailed his breathing and stopped when his footsteps did.

Cold bands wrapped around her wrist and drew her into a room charged with static and filled with muted beeps.

“Thank you, Tinika, for coming. Riermus aac Vaen Arrak, you may leave.”

“As you command, Aehort Uz.”

She waited until Vaen’s heavy tread faded while she relived every moment with the Qaldreths to recall revealing her name, ever. “You know my real name.” She offered a smile to hide her nervousness then sighed when she realized her fingers twitched—grabbing and releasing the hem of her shirt.

“I do.” Aehort’s voice warmed. “I anticipate a little…interest when we arrive in Certorth.”

“Where’s that?” She peered in his direction, making out a tall, fuzzy shape.

“Ivoy’s mother city, the home to the Senate. Come.” He clasped her hand, lacing his cold fingers through hers. “Humans are limited by their reliance on the physical. I have been in Vic’s mind. With you, I would like to try something, if I may?”

“Of course,” Tiny said despite a slight throbbing behind her left eye. Try what? Physical? She scowled, winced when her heartbeat pounded her temple, then forced herself to relax.

A burn brushed across her forehead. She would’ve thought Aehort touched her, but the sensation was hot and tingly.

“Close your eyes. What do you smell, hear…sense?”

She did as asked, more out of curiosity than a fear of the man everyone on this ship revered.

“Electricity in the air. Many machines whirring and humming.” She angled her head to better listen.

“You make no sound. No breathing or movement that I can track. The smells are quite clinical—not chemical but cleansed. There’s a hint of burnt steak which I’m told is normal. ”

“And your peripherals?”