Page 22 of Daring Wicked Love (Wicked Dade #2)

Jealousy was a wretched emotion.

It’s an unwanted visitor in the night, sneaking into places it has no right being, and leaving nothing but devastation in its wake.

When the truth came out about Maura and her many extra-marital activities, I was angry, sure, but mostly at myself for being so ignorantly blind to it all. Strange how I didn’t feel a sliver of the jealousy back then compared to imagining Orla spending the night with someone else.

She didn’t come home after I snapped at her, and as I sat across the plane, watching her try to swallow her fear of flying, I couldn’t stop picturing her with another man.

She didn’t answer any of my calls or messages, leaving me going around in circles. One second, I was furious at her for acting so immature, then in a flash, I was enraged at myself for being the reason she felt like she needed to run away.

When I discovered her missing, it was as if someone had physically ripped my lungs out through my ribcage and stomped on them in front of me.

She just up and vanished.

And the fear that exploded into my life of her not coming back was all-consuming.

The second her friend rang me to confirm Orla was safe and not lying dead in a ditch somewhere, like one irrational fear I had, the new onslaught of unwelcoming feelings kicked in.

Where was she last night?

Who was she with?

The fact that the green-eyed monster refused to leave me was concerning. I had no right to be jealous. She was Penelope’s nanny and nothing more.

It didn’t help that Orla refused to speak more than two-word sentences to me since we took off. Her lack of engagement and cold shoulder only helped feed the demon whispering doubts in my ear.

By the time we were back up in the air after our refueling stop, I couldn’t stomach it any longer. Waiting until Penelope fell asleep, I took my chance and occupied the seat directly in front of Orla.

“We should talk about what happened.”

She flipped the page of her book, not bothering to look up. “There’s nothing for us to talk about.”

“You and I both know that’s not true.” I twisted the ring around my finger. “About what I said…”

“Stop.” Orla closed her book. “You don’t need to explain because it doesn’t matter.”

“Except it matters a lot.”

She shook her head. “You were right. You pay me to help you with Pen, that’s all. I overstepped and mistakenly believed us to be friends. Trust me, I know where I stand now.”

“I realize that you were just trying to be helpful, like you always do, because you care.”

She remained unusually silent.

I exhaled deeply. “I acted like an ass. You didn’t deserve that.”

“And?”

“And…I am sorry.”

“You’re sorry again .”

My jaw ached from the tension. “Yes, I am sorry again. ”

“Can’t you see there is a bit of a pattern forming here? I try to help and you in return turn into a complete asshole and shut me down.”

Because letting you get too close to the spikes hiding under my surface would ruin us both.

“Look, I understand that what you are going through with Pen’s mam is a lot and would make any normal person stressed out of their mind. Never mind someone trying to run a multi-billion-dollar company on top of all that.”

“Sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me.”

“I get it. I think you need to work on channeling and understanding your emotions, because what you are doing isn’t healthy for anyone, especially not you.”

“It’s never been a problem for me before.”

“That’s because I guarantee no one has called you on your bullshit before,” she challenged. “Either people are too scared to say something, or it’s because you hold everyone at a distance. Neither is healthy.”

My brows pinched together. “So let me guess, you think I need therapy?”

“Maybe. Whatever it takes to help you not be consumed by all that negativity within you.” She fiddled with the corner of her book, refusing to meet my gaze. “But when it comes to us, I think it’s for the best that we reestablish our boundaries.”

My jaw twitched.

“As you said, I am Pen’s nanny. You are my boss. We’re not friends, and I am sorry for thinking that we were,” she continued. “From here on out, I think it’s best that we keep our relationship strictly within those lines.”

“If that’s what you want?”

Was that doubt I saw? A fleeting flicker of uncertainty sparking to life across her heavenly face? Or was I simply seeing something I wanted to see?

“It’s what is needed, Frederic. I’m here to do what you employed me for, and that’s it.” Her voice wavered. “Once my contract is up for renewal at the end of the twelve months, it’s probably best we revisit if I am still the best fit for your family.”

Bitterness scorched the back of my throat. “Fine.”

Chewing on the corner of her bottom lip, she reopened her book and went straight back to ignoring me.

We still had nine months left before her contract was up for negotiation.

Nine more months for me to royally fuck it up and push her further away.

Convincing Maura to let me take Penelope on holiday came at a price, of course.

In exchange for a week’s holiday in the South of France, I begrudgingly agreed to Penelope spending Christmas with her mother and her soon-to-be stepfather in their Manhattan penthouse.

Not that I would admit it out loud, but Orla was right.

I needed a break from the stresses of work and court hearings.

Between the federal investigation involving our largest advertiser, the board’s attempt to convince me to replace Jaxon, and the sleepless nights spent imagining Maura winning full custody, I was in desperate need of an escape.

I considered going home to Monaco and spending the week with Grand-mère, but I couldn’t do it. Not when I knew my pathetic excuse of a father was living there full time.

My father was a supposed recovering alcoholic. Though after watching him drink his liver into dust to the point his wife, my maman killed herself, all the while ignoring his four sons, I found it very difficult to believe a fucking word that came out of his mouth.

Like I said, I needed a break, not another reason for the constant headaches plaguing me.

Instead, we arrived at the holiday home I owned in Nice. Truthfully, the villa wasn’t a well-thought-out purchase. It wasn’t long after my separation, and I wanted somewhere for myself, something Maura couldn’t get her greedy hands on during the divorce.

I stumbled across the listing after one too many glasses of scotch and purchased it the next day.

Ever since then, I had only stayed in it a handful of times and gave my Grand-mère the spare key so she could use it whenever she wished.

By the time the three of us entered the villa, we were exhausted. Penelope had turned into a grouchy demon during the drive that not even Orla could soothe.

Not to mention, the dense end of July heat wasn’t doing any of us any favors.

I needed a shower, some food, and a nap — in no particular order.

It didn’t help matters that before we got a chance to dump our suitcases, we quickly realized we weren’t alone in the villa.

The faint scent of fresh-baked bread and the low hum of someone singing came from the kitchen.

Un-fucking-believable.

“ Grand-mère, ” I said tightly as I carried an asleep Penelope on my back. “What are you doing here?”

White haired, flour-coated cheeks, and the familiar aroma of lavender encased me as she hobbled toward me. “ ?a fait trop longtemps mon garcon. ”

She was right, it had been too long.

The last time I had seen her was when she came home from the hospital after her stroke over a year ago.

I stuck around to ensure she was getting the proper care before retreating back to Ontario.

There was too much going on during that time. Maura’s threats for custody, Jaxon falling in love with our enemy’s daughter, meaning that my grudge to destroy Reynolds meant losing my brother, and of course, the massive divorce settlement I was slapped with.

“ Je m’inquiète pour vous .” She reached up and patted my cheek. “ Tu dois arrêter de laisser ton orgueil se mettre en travers de ton chemin, Frederic. ”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “My pride isn’t the issue.” Turning, I found Orla hovering awkwardly in the doorway. “ Grand-mère, this is Miss Connell.”

Orla’s lips turned downward for a brief moment before she shook it away. “Please call me Orla. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“It’s an absolute pleasure, Orla.” Grand-mère’s eyes softened. “You’re a very pretty young woman. Very kind eyes, which means you have a kind soul too.”

Orla’s cheeks flamed. “You’re too sweet, Ms. Dade.”

“Oh no chérie, call me Florence.” She smiled. “Apologies for my presence, I didn’t realize that Frederic was bringing his girlfriend with him on his trip.”

Girlfriend.

The word knocked the oxygen from my lungs.

“Oh wait, I’m not Frederic’s girlfriend,” Orla said quickly, her cheeks brightening by the second. “We aren’t together, not in any sort of way.”

I schooled my expression to remain neutral despite the sharp sting of her words. She was simply telling the truth — we weren’t together.

It didn’t matter how much it twisted my stomach to hear her say it out loud.

“I see,” Grand-mère hummed unconvinced. “A friend then, hmm?”

“Miss Connell is Penelope’s nanny,” I finally spoke, my voice sounding strangely detached from my body. “She’s been helping take care of Penelope while I’ve been at work.”

My Grand-mère frowned. “Ah, I didn’t realize you had hired a nanny.”

“Why don’t I take little Miss Sleeping Beauty to a bedroom and let the two of you catch up?” Orla offered, already peeling Penelope off my back. “I might grab a quick power nap while I’m at it, too.”

Waiting until they were gone, I let my Grand-mère latch her arm in mine and guide us to the kitchen table.

“What are you doing here?” I asked again. “And more importantly, why are you alone?”

“Your assistant, Isaac, mentioned you were coming here when I called him yesterday. Seeing as you refuse to answer any calls from your famille, I called your office instead.”

Note to self, kick Isaac in the balls when I get back.

“Your papa is staying in a hotel nearby. He thought you would be upset if you discovered him here when you arrived.”

No shit.

This was my home, my space, my life — he gave up the right to being part of it when he picked vodka over me and my brothers.

“Elliott told me about your custody hearing.” She reached across the table for my hand. I moved it away before her fingertips brushed my skin, causing her shoulders to fall. “Why didn’t you tell any of us?”

“Because I am handling it myself.”

She exhaled heavily through her nose. “There goes that pride of yours again. You don’t have to do everything by yourself all the time.”

After losing my maman, I learned very quickly that if I wanted anything in life, I would have to do it myself.

It’s all I knew after her death, and it allowed me to become the man I was today.

Relying on others got you nowhere in life. They just slowed you down and took everything from you before leaving you completely alone again.

I clicked my tongue against my teeth. “It’s easier that way.”

“When are you going to realize that we are your family and we love you, and with that love comes wanting to help you no matter what?”

“I don’t need help. It’s fine. Penelope is going to be fine.”

“And what about you?”

“I’m fine too.”

“Vous êtes impossible. ” Grand-mère sighed. “I was hoping to spend some time with Penny. God knows how much I’ve missed my arrière-petite-fille. ”

“Of course, Penelope would like that a lot.”

“I’ll pick her up tomorrow after she’s had some sleep.” A smile tugged on the corners of her mouth. “That way, you and Orla can have some time alone.”

Alone time with Orla… My traitorous heartbeat kicked up a notch.

How was it possible for this one woman, this ray of utter sunshine, to bury herself deep under my skin with each new day. The more time that passed, the quicker she was making her way straight for my barely functioning heart.

No, stop that.

She made it very clear that she wanted to keep it strictly professional — she didn’t even wish to be friends, and if I wanted to keep her around for Penelope’s sake, I’d have to somehow swallow whatever attraction I harbored for her.

“Miss Connell can have the day off and do whatever she pleases, while I will use the day to catch up on work.” I ignored the devious glint in her eye. “I’ll see you in the morning.”