Page 76 of Dangerous Deviance

A raised area held booths spread out along the edges, with round tables in the middle. Divots in the blue walls were hung with tiny light bulbs.

Wil started, “There’s a chance—”

Don’t say it, I thought. Please don’t say it.

There was a kitchen in an area off to the side of the lounge, with dining chairs and candles on each table. I let my eyes focus on anything but him. This place had everything, it seemed.

“—that your sister—”

The kitchen. The dining area. The booths. The stage.

Don’t say it.

“—is dead.”

I let go of his hands, and the ringing started again, ticking back and forth, each click shaving a sliver off of my sanity. I held my hands over my face, forcing it back inside of me, because I didn’t want to deal with it.

But I sucked in a breath and sat up.

Then it stopped. I wasn’t even holding him.

“She’s out there,” I said.

“She’s out there,” Wil repeated, “But the people who sent you could have killed her.”

“Don’t do this.” I reached over and tightened my grip on his hand, but Wil didn’t move. He stared at me, asking me with his eyes to say more. “Don’t do this.” I couldn’t live with the idea that I had given up so much, and yet she wasn’t there, and never would be.Let’s go see your sister, Dr. Bates had said. The trees stalked the edges of the campus, hiding everything from us.She’s just past these trees.

I closed my eyes, trying to blink that dream away.

“We don’t know for sure,” he said, squeezing my hand back. “But I promise you. I will find her, and I will find anyone who wronged her.”

Wil’s eyes held mine, taking me in, knowing that I had problems, and yet he was desperate to help me fix them. There was so much wrong with us, wrong with me, wrong withhim, but I wanted to believe him. I knew how protective he could be, how loyal he was to his family. I wanted to believe every word he said.

I hate to do that to you, Dr. Bates’s voice drifted in my mind. Tears formed in my eyes.Julie was a good girl. One of our best.

No. Not now.

“Maybe you should stay here,” Wil said. “Iris likes you, and you can keep an eye on the others too.” He glanced at the door leading to the kitchen. “And Dr. Mercia said you need to have more relationships. There’s no shortage of people here.”

“No,” I said.

He straightened his shoulders. “What?”

“No,” I said again. That must’ve been strange for him, a self-proclaimed god being told ‘no.’ “I’m staying with you.”

His eyes bore into mine, searing me to my soul. Maybe he thought that this was another ploy to get him to trust me.

But I could turn on him right then if I wanted. As far as I could tell, we were alone in that part of the building. But I wasn’t going to kill him.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

I blinked back the tears. “At least until we figure this out.”

When he stood, I grabbed his hand, and we walked out of the main entrance to the parking lot. In the car back to Wil’s penthouse, the trees zipped past us, and I stared past the trunks to the flashes of water on the other side, the sun shining down on the ocean in a blinding streak. We were going back, where we could be alone. Where I knew the rules. Where I was okay with them. We were going home.

Maybe I felt safer with Wil. Maybe I didn’t need anything to feel safer, because I had him.

Once we made it to the front door, he held it open for me. I think he expected me to go to my bedroom and to leave him there, but when I stood beside him, still touching his arm, he pulled away.